What's the etiquette here??

Lewis_Benson

Part two now...
This is different to earlier.....thick, sticky, smelly mudslide comes to.mind.

Hector Savage

Just dropped a load of fudge that just kept coming and coming, like an ice cream dispenser, I thought it would reach my arse, lucky the bastard toppled over before...

Left the fent in there, not much people in the office this morning, so didn't bother with the spray ..

Sharp MZ700

Bad dose of the trots here in the south. High pressure on the sphincter bringing heavy scutterfall and high winds through the night and into the early morning. A few scattered brown hailstones up until midday and should peter out by mid afternoon.
Long term outlook will see prolonged spells of consistent midden right into Friday and the weekend when another high pressure moving in on the back end is expected.
That's the scuttery forecast here from the Porcelain Throne, good morning.

NeinNeinNein

Sharp MZ700 wrote: »

Bad dose of the trots here in the south. High pressure on the sphincter bringing heavy scutterfall and high winds through the night and into the early morning. A few scattered brown hailstones up until midday and should peter out by mid afternoon.
Long term outlook will see prolonged spells of consistent midden right into Friday and the weekend when another high pressure moving in on the back end is expected.
That's the scuttery forecast here from the Porcelain Throne, good morning.

My internal voice changed to Jean Byrne as I read that. Weird.

Omackeral

It was June in the Summer of 1994, Ireland was in the middle of another famous World Cup campaign and blowing away the competition in the Eurovision Song Contest too. The weather was fantastic and there was just a decent atmosphere about the country in general. Anyway a young me was on an excursion to the Phoenix Park one fine afternoon accompanied by my friend and his mother. We had made our way back down Chesterfield Avenue after being in the playground for hours and from there went through the main park gates. After visiting the shop, we were each allowed to get an ice cream before taking the short journey home on a Dublin Bus. We chatted away on the lower deck and all was going great. We still had lots of our school holidays left and were making all sorts of wishful plans. As we passed through the village, the majority of passengers noticed a bit of a scene outside. Two guys were being arrested by the police while about 15 onlookers stood around in a semi circle. Was it a robbery gone wrong? Were they two guys fighting over a girl? Was it a road rage incident? As we wondered just what the heck was happening, I sneezed a bit too hard and shat my pants right there on the 39 bus in front of everyone.

KWAG2019

Omackeral wrote: »

It was June in the Summer of 1994, Ireland was in the middle of another famous World Cup campaign and blowing away the competition in the Eurovision Song Contest too. The weather was fantastic and there was just a decent atmosphere about the country in general. Anyway a young me was on an excursion to the Phoenix Park one fine afternoon accompanied by my friend and his mother. We had made our way back down Chesterfield Avenue after being in the playground for hours and from there went through the main park gates. After visiting the shop, we were each allowed to get an ice cream before taking the short journey home on a Dublin Bus. We chatted away on the lower deck and all was going great. We still had lots of our school holidays left and were making all sorts of wishful plans. As we passed through the village, the majority of passengers noticed a bit of a scene outside. Two guys were being arrested by the police while about 15 onlookers stood around in a semi circle. Was it a robbery gone wrong? Were they two guys fighting over a girl? Was it a road rage incident? As we wondered just what the heck was happening, I sneezed a bit too hard and shat my pants right there on the 39 bus in front of everyone.

This could be a wiring problem O.

gerrybbadd

Omackeral wrote: »

It was June in the Summer of 1994, Ireland was in the middle of another famous World Cup campaign and blowing away the competition in the Eurovision Song Contest too. The weather was fantastic and there was just a decent atmosphere about the country in general. Anyway a young me was on an excursion to the Phoenix Park one fine afternoon accompanied by my friend and his mother. We had made our way back down Chesterfield Avenue after being in the playground for hours and from there went through the main park gates. After visiting the shop, we were each allowed to get an ice cream before taking the short journey home on a Dublin Bus. We chatted away on the lower deck and all was going great. We still had lots of our school holidays left and were making all sorts of wishful plans. As we passed through the village, the majority of passengers noticed a bit of a scene outside. Two guys were being arrested by the police while about 15 onlookers stood around in a semi circle. Was it a robbery gone wrong? Were they two guys fighting over a girl? Was it a road rage incident? As we wondered just what the heck was happening, I sneezed a bit too hard and shat my pants right there on the 39 bus in front of everyone.

That old chestnut!

Reminds me of a time when I went to a mates birthday party. The plan was I'd stay a few nights as well.

He had a load of his mates there, people I hadn't met before. Having such fun with the music, food, sweets and general merriment, I tried my best to ignore the feeling of pressure that was building behind the balloon knot. Eventually something had to give way, and way it did give, straight into me jocks.

The others noticed the smell immediately, but I passed it off as a bit of a fart, with a chuckle. However, my mate who's party it was decided to run off and tell his father i had shít the jocks. I suppose it wouldn't have been too bad if i hadn't been staying with them for a few nights.

Anyhow, I continued to deny all. The party came to an end, my crack was chocked full with midden, and we had to go someplace in a car. They couldn't leave me behind so in i hopped, and stunk the place out. Eventually we got back, and the emabarrasment of having the father clean me up is something that sticks with me to this day.

Last 30th birthday party i'll ever go to

Nevin Parsnipp

Omackeral wrote: »

It was June in the Summer of 1994, Ireland was in the middle of another famous World Cup campaign and blowing away the competition in the Eurovision Song Contest too. The weather was fantastic and there was just a decent atmosphere about the country in general. Anyway a young me was on an excursion to the Phoenix Park one fine afternoon accompanied by my friend and his mother. We had made our way back down Chesterfield Avenue after being in the playground for hours and from there went through the main park gates. After visiting the shop, we were each allowed to get an ice cream before taking the short journey home on a Dublin Bus. We chatted away on the lower deck and all was going great. We still had lots of our school holidays left and were making all sorts of wishful plans. As we passed through the village, the majority of passengers noticed a bit of a scene outside. Two guys were being arrested by the police while about 15 onlookers stood around in a semi circle. Was it a robbery gone wrong? Were they two guys fighting over a girl? Was it a road rage incident? As we wondered just what the heck was happening, I sneezed a bit too hard and shat my pants right there on the 39 bus in front of everyone.

=================================================

Just a tip pal ...this makes it a lot easier to read ....

It was June in the Summer of 1994, Ireland was in the middle of another famous World Cup campaign and blowing away the competition in the Eurovision Song Contest too.

The weather was fantastic and there was just a decent atmosphere about the country in general. Anyway a young me was on an excursion to the Phoenix Park one fine afternoon accompanied by my friend and his mother. We had made our way back down Chesterfield Avenue after being in the playground for hours and from there went through the main park gates.

After visiting the shop, we were each allowed to get an ice cream before taking the short journey home on a Dublin Bus. We chatted away on the lower deck and all was going great. We still had lots of our school holidays left and were making all sorts of wishful plans.

As we passed through the village, the majority of passengers noticed a bit of a scene outside. Two guys were being arrested by the police while about 15 onlookers stood around in a semi circle.

Was it a robbery gone wrong? Were they two guys fighting over a girl? Was it a road rage incident?

As we wondered just what the heck was happening, I sneezed a bit too hard and shat my pants right there on the 39 bus in front of everyone.

NeinNeinNein

Nevin Parsnipp wrote: »

=================================================

Just a tip pal ...this makes it a lot easier to read ....

It was June in the Summer of 1994, Ireland was in the middle of another famous World Cup campaign and blowing away the competition in the Eurovision Song Contest too.

The weather was fantastic and there was just a decent atmosphere about the country in general. Anyway a young me was on an excursion to the Phoenix Park one fine afternoon accompanied by my friend and his mother. We had made our way back down Chesterfield Avenue after being in the playground for hours and from there went through the main park gates.

After visiting the shop, we were each allowed to get an ice cream before taking the short journey home on a Dublin Bus. We chatted away on the lower deck and all was going great. We still had lots of our school holidays left and were making all sorts of wishful plans.

As we passed through the village, the majority of passengers noticed a bit of a scene outside. Two guys were being arrested by the police while about 15 onlookers stood around in a semi circle.

Was it a robbery gone wrong? Were they two guys fighting over a girl? Was it a road rage incident?

As we wondered just what the heck was happening, I sneezed a bit too hard and shat my pants right there on the 39 bus in front of everyone.

Thought it was funnier the first time.

JohnnyFlash

Lot of very ‘bound up’ individuals here today.

Might I suggest a mug of castor oil, Andrews Liver Salts, mushed up prunes, and maxwell house coffee powder?

Andreas77

Johnny you ever did the reverse cowgirl? I bet you enjoyed that.

Hector Savage

Been letting off really rotten thick silent farts over the last 2 days, can almost feel the texture of them.
Have a bang off vegetables of them, like cabbage that has been stewing in a pressure cooker all day and you open it - that kind of pong.
Allthough there is a good chance these things would strip the paint of the golden gate bridge, I find them strangely satisfying!

Haven't had farts like this since I was a kid - very nostalgic here.

partyguinness

Now, I know this is hardly a ground breaking observation and I know it's a Monday but there is definitely quite a few lads here that need to have a good long look at their diets. Some of the stuff here is just unnatural and would keep proctologist awake at night. It has gone from mild amusement to genuine concern.

I have cut out red and processed meats from my diets and most dairy and alcohol. Oh God...what have I become.

Anyways, I have noticed a significant improvement in my farts- no smells at all which is very disappointing in a lot of respects but I can now fart away in confidence knowing that I will not have to drum up the usual poker face blanket denial when in polite company.

A good few bouts colonic irrigation might be worth considering.

Omackeral

Nevin Parsnipp wrote: »

=================================================

Just a tip pal ...this makes it a lot easier to read ....

I wanted to convey how chaotically it all happened. There were no paragraphs on the day, just sudden brown thunder.

gerrybbadd

Omackeral wrote: »

I wanted to convey how chaotically it all happened. There were no paragraphs on the day, just sudden brown thunder.

Great name for a band.

Nevin Parsnipp

Omackeral wrote: »

I wanted to convey how chaotically it all happened. There were no paragraphs on the day, just sudden brown thunder.

Ah ! Excellent,,,wall of dense text_____wall of dense sour midden.

A series of fleshy squirts might require paragraphs then ?

Good man...excellent post !

NeinNeinNein

Nevin Parsnipp wrote: »

Ah ! Excellent,,,wall of dense text_____wall of dense sour midden.

A series of fleshy squirts might require paragraphs then ?

Good man...excellent post !

Joyce and Beckett can rest peacefully, their legacy continues.

Sharp MZ700

Didn't have Beckett down for a swan-neck soup analyst,Joyce was a dirty fücker alright. Maybe that's where the word analysis came from.

Andreas77

I feel high as a kite today, reminds me of a woman I once entered from behind. While we were rutting "she drives me crazy" by the fine young cannibals came on. I squirted during the final verse, and I remember she was a bit ridged down there, hard ridges

Omackeral

Andreas77 wrote: »

I feel high as a kite today, reminds me of a woman I once entered from behind. While we were rutting "she drives me crazy" by the fine young cannibals came on. I squirted during the final verse, and I remember she was a bit ridged down there, hard ridges

And they say romance is dead.

Brendan Bendar

Andreas77 wrote: »

I feel high as a kite today, reminds me of a woman I once entered from behind. While we were rutting "she drives me crazy" by the fine young cannibals came on. I squirted during the final verse, and I remember she was a bit ridged down there, hard ridges

Filthy kernt!

Sharp MZ700

Andreas77 wrote: »

I feel high as a kite today, reminds me of a woman I once entered from behind. While we were rutting "she drives me crazy" by the fine young cannibals came on. I squirted during the final verse, and I remember she was a bit ridged down there, hard ridges

Hard Ridges!! What were you using? A Merry Tiller?

NeinNeinNein

Sharp MZ700 wrote: »

Hard Ridges!! What were you using? A Merry Tiller?

Hard ridges? Brings me back to Sam Spudz crisps.

JohnnyFlash

Brendan Bendar wrote: »

Filthy kernt!

The lad would get up on the carcass of a roast chicken. He’s a bad ‘un.

Bit of diarrhoea today, only had three Weetabix this morning and a protein shake after the gym but I've been to the throne five times already. First few offerings were like something out of a HP Lovecraft story. Eldritch horrors, last visit produced some prolonged thunderous farting but little midden. Hopefully that's the system cleared out now.

Bobblehats

Mortified for you Niall I can imagine you slumped on the throne with an expression of disdain and revulsion akin to that of an innsmouther not satisfied with the solidity of his offerings as the drittle dissapated into the murky depths. Diahhroea is no fun but at least you got it out of your system, that’s the main thing.

sligojoek

An empty house is better than a bad lodger

Bobblehats

Bobblehats wrote: »

Mortified for you Niall I can imagine you slumped on the throne with an expression of disdain and revulsion akin to that of an innsmouther not satisfied with the solidity of his offerings as the drittle dissapated into the murky depths. Diahhroea is no fun but at least you got it out of your system, that’s the main thing.

Feeling much better now Bobble, it was rough going at first, the smell was atrocious. "The fent out of space", it would have driven lesser men to madness.

JohnnyFlash

Stay strong, pal. We’ve all been there. Might seem like a good idea to sink back 8 bottles of strong pale ale to get over the trauma, but it’s actually a very bad idea. Trust me.

dulpit

Somebody could do a PHD research on this thread around language and how the terms used here do not seem to appear anywhere else that I have heard, e.g. Midden, kernt, fent, etc.

Keep up the good work though fine sirs, I enjoy the read.