What's the etiquette here??

Hotblack Desiato

Last time I had a "spicy" pizza I had to put a load of tabasco over it :rolleyes:

Hector Savage

Whats this Zbigniew ??

gerrybbadd

Hector Savage wrote: »

Whats this Zbigniew ??

He's the Eastern European cleaner that comes into the office daily. I haven't a clue what his name actually is, but i assume its Zbigniew. Pleasant fella - not a word of English mind. He does often be heard to say however - "znowu szoruję gówno z wielkich dziur. Dranie zwierząt - kurwa"

NeinNeinNein

NeinNeinNein wrote: »

Suspicious, you sure they were legit? Might have been installing a hidden camera. Definitely up to no good anyway. Did you check their ids? Were the ladders industrial or the sort that would be on special in Woodies?

If they were putting in a hidden camera they wouldn't be long deleting any footage out of sheer horror I'd say! You'd need industrial eye bleach.

JohnnyFlash

gerrybbadd wrote: »

He's the Eastern European cleaner that comes into the office daily. I haven't a clue what his name actually is, but i assume its Zbigniew. Pleasant fella - not a word of English mind. He does often be heard to say however - "znowu szoruję gówno z wielkich dziur. Dranie zwierząt - kurwa"

You’d presume people thinking of moving to Ireland to do a cleaning job would do some research first and see that stout is a very popular alcoholic beverage amongst some of the populace. And that we love red meat. Never going to be an easy job with those two variables involved.

Ush1

JohnnyFlash wrote: »

You’d presume people thinking of moving to Ireland to do a cleaning job would do some research first and see that stout is a very popular alcoholic beverage amongst some of the populace. And that we love red meat. Never going to be an easy job with those two variables involved.

Not to mention an oul fry up Johnny.

Brendan Bendar

JohnnyFlash wrote: »

You’d presume people thinking of moving to Ireland to do a cleaning job would do some research first and see that stout is a very popular alcoholic beverage amongst some of the populace. And that we love red meat. Never going to be an easy job with those two variables involved.

As a lad who takes the odd swing by the ‘Eastern European ‘ section in a well known Supermarket now taken over by Dunnes, some of the food offerings there would certainly give Zibegniew plenty of experience in dealing with,as they say in the aviation business ‘irregular and out of contour loads’

Some of the sausage product there would surely spawn a bolus the consistency of oven baked mortar and a bang off it that a fcuking African Hunting Dog wouldn’t touch.

Take a belt of the corner of the mobile device to get her to clear the premises.

A floury softish spray of par-boiled scutther, no matter how thinly spread would be no prob for the bould Zib.

Take it in his stride, in this posters opinion.

gerrybbadd

It shows no sign of slowing down anyhow lads. Still drizzling away. And the strangest hue of yellowish brown. Not huge in the scent department (or maybe I'm becoming immune to it). The badge is beginning to get a bit sore now I must admit.

I'm terrified to chance a fart. I'm certain i'd spread a gout of slurry into the jocks that would make Miley from Glenroe proud

EmmetSpiceland

Hotblack Desiato wrote: »

Last time I had a "spicy" pizza I had to put a load of tabasco over it :rolleyes:

A brave man with a ring of steel. Sneering at the “Scoville Scale” while the rest of us sweat just looking at it.

Hector Savage

gerrybbadd wrote: »

He's the Eastern European cleaner that comes into the office daily. I haven't a clue what his name actually is, but i assume its Zbigniew. Pleasant fella - not a word of English mind. He does often be heard to say however - "znowu szoruję gówno z wielkich dziur. Dranie zwierząt - kurwa"

Google translate


I'm scrubbing sh1t out of big holes again. Bastards of animals - f'uck

Brendan Bendar

gerrybbadd wrote: »

It shows no sign of slowing down anyhow lads. Still drizzling away. And the strangest hue of yellowish brown. Not huge in the scent department (or maybe I'm becoming immune to it). The badge is beginning to get a bit sore now I must admit.

I'm terrified to chance a fart. I'm certain i'd spread a gout of slurry into the jocks that would make Miley from Glenroe proud

Small facecloth lined between the ringpiece and the jocks would take care of any
‘Uncontained explosions’ ger.

Jocks just need to be ‘snug’ and hug the ‘cluster’.

Quick dash to the privvy for an inspection and dispose or ‘clear for further service’ as required.

Saved many a lad after a feed of short dated beer.

gerrybbadd

Hector Savage wrote: »

Google translate


I'm scrubbing sh1t out of big holes again. Bastards of animals - f'uck

I always wondered what he was saying! Fair play HS. Beautiful language.

Dr Strange

What a day. Started off with a breakfast of scrambled eggs, toast and copious amounts of coffee. I had five eggs which were slightly past their use by date and thought the best way to use them up would be a scramble. Lots of salt and pepper - tasted okay in the end.

A few mugs of coffee later and a slight rumble behind the belly button suggested something may be up. So to stay on the safe side I decided chicken soup for lunch would be okay. No clear soup in the house so the cream of chicken would have to do. Nice but a bit filling after having 3 pints of it.

Nothing much happened until dinner. A nice bacon and cabbage with spuds mixed with two cold pints of milk and two extra helpings of cabbage juice.

I’ve been banned from the children’s room after one or two discreet vents and I’m sure the missus will follow suit soon.
Have been to the loo twice and it’s quite a pleasant mix of easy to push out scat and a rather obnoxious odour which seems to incorporate not only some of the eggs and cabbage of the day but also some of the taco chips from the night before. This isn’t over by a long shot.

Sharp MZ700

Very low viscosity by the sounds of it Doctor.
Top tip- when you eventually do feel like the head gasket is gonna blow, by all means go in and assume the impact position on the bowl, but definitely hover.
Get that arse gravy off to a nice smooth start or you're gonna have a nuclear pebble dash all over the porcelain! Some lads advise dry lining the bowl with arse paper first, but that's not real living imo.
Finish off abruptly or you'll get leg dribble also, not a nice sensation, assuming you find it before you jump in beside the beloved.

Fireball81

Good few pints with the lads last night, not sure if it was the sambo I had for lunch yesterday (that's all I ate before vintage began) or it was the volume of Guinness consumed but wasn't feeling great earlier.

Woke this morning to a gurgling sound, the rest of the house was asleep so being the nice husband I am, went downstairs to unleash a dump of slurry. Ring piece was unusually sore too, hoping an afternoon on the couch with some lager to watch the rugby will help clear things up.

The only good thing about dumping early in the morning at home is the peace and quiet from cleaners and weirdos who choose the trap beside you when others are free (in the office).

Hotblack Desiato

EmmetSpiceland wrote: »

A brave man with a ring of steel. Sneering at the “Scoville Scale” while the rest of us sweat just looking at it.

It's like any form of bodily training Emmet, what looks impossible at first is attainable, given dedication to a suitable regimen over a sufficient period of time.

But most of what is passed off in this country as "spicy" is bland as fcuk. "Frank's Red Hot Sauce" = Frank's barely warm sauce.

Brendan Bendar wrote: »

Small facecloth lined between the ringpiece and the jocks would take care of any ‘Uncontained explosions’ ger.

His other half may be able to help him out with a suitable sanitary product.

**************

Anyway. None of the above is why I refreshed this thread today. I bring terrible news. Iskander's is closing down :eek:

https://www.irishtimes.com/news/consumer/dublin-s-late-night-kebab-shop-iskander-s-to-close-after-nearly-three-decades-1.4137311

Dublin’s original kebab shop is set to close its doors later this month for a major refurbishment and relaunch following nearly 28 years of providing late-night snacks to hungry city-centre revellers.

Iskander’s Kebab House on Dame Street, which has been in operation since 1992, will close on January 19th to allow for a complete renovation of the premises. The late-night food takeaway was recently bought by the Aydin family who say they are planning to reopen in mid-February as a more upmarket restaurant.

Fecking notions on them. The custom of 4am pint-swiggers isn't good enough for them anymore? Well they can fcuk off with their "more upmarket restaurant". :mad:

Incidentally I never had the dubious pleasure of using one of the traps in there, for the daring or desperate only at a late hour I'd reckon.

Hector Savage

Lately I've been depositing really hard loads, usually the coffee in the morning sorts me out and I have a nice easy creamy cowpat - very satisfying, but over the last few days been having really heavy hard loads - hurts the badge on the way out too ...

Only other difference I can see is I am off the beer this January ...

EmmetSpiceland

Hector Savage wrote: »

Lately I've been depositing really hard loads, usually the coffee in the morning sorts me out and I have a nice easy creamy cowpat - very satisfying, but over the last few days been having really heavy hard loads - hurts the badge on the way out too ...

Only other difference I can see is I am off the beer this January ...

I’d recommend a change in the “diet”, H. Certainly up your intake of “oily” fish and fruit, fresh, never tinned, especially when it comes to pears.

Nevin Parsnipp

Called to the Pavillions Shopping Centre in Swords..the other day ....not a part of the world I am normally in.

Have to say their traps are to be commended...nice and roomy and without the usual grafitti and snot smears on the doors.

Spooled out a nice bhuttery lad at my leisure and then availed of the excellent ablution facilities...well done Pavilions SC.

Brendan Bendar

Nevin Parsnipp wrote: »

Called to the Pavillions Shopping Centre in Swords..the other day ....not a part of the world I am normally in.

Have to say their traps are to be commended...nice and roomy and without the usual grafitti and snot smears on the doors.

Spooled out a nice bhuttery lad at my leisure and then availed of the excellent ablution facilities...well done Pavilions SC.

Bit ‘Public’ for my taste Nevin, lot of traffic both inside and out.

Was there myself recently for the first time and after a fairly hefty intake of rich buns hit for the traps.

Lot of traffic going past for the ladies, kids bawling, Dyson blade driers whining,doors banging,clattering of buckets from cleaners and stuff.

Not conducive for a relaxing release but had to drop, three fingers dilated.

Had just settled above the pot and was building up the N2 pressure when I heard a female voice right outside the trap, foreigner and saw the end of a mop hovering near the door.

Lost control and scattered a load of loose undercooked watery sludge over the unit and surrounds.

Had to wait nearly 25 mins before I could come out to make sure she was gone.

Well crusted up by then.

Never again, in fairness the kids were off school, but never again.

sligojoek

fuerte1976

This 'new year' - 'new me' crap is gonna finish me off..

I've curtailed the red meat & porter consumption and increased the ol' fruit n fibre intake.
I'm a hoor for the red grapes (even more so in their fermented state) and am well aware of the consequences but wolfed a punnet of the darlings earlier.

Dear J3sus, I'm sure I've just torn the coating off a surprisingly clean and well maintained porcelain pot at work. The musket Sh1t blast blew spatters all around the place and now I've a damper rear side than I had before I started with the added bonus of having to tidy up the splatter...
1kg lighter though !

Be careful out there..

fuerte1976

fuerte1976 wrote: »

This 'new year' - 'new me' crap is gonna finish me off..

I've curtailed the red meat & porter consumption and increased the ol' fruit n fibre intake.
I'm a hoor for the red grapes (even more so in their fermented state) and am well aware of the consequences but wolfed a punnet of the darlings earlier.

Dear J3sus, I'm sure I've just torn the coating off a surprisingly clean and well maintained porcelain pot at work. The musket Sh1t blast blew spatters all around the place and now I've a damper rear side than I had before I started with the added bonus of having to tidy up the splatter...
1kg lighter though !

Be careful out there..

It's the sudden drastic dietary changes that cause the biggest disruption to the gastric system imo. Slow changes to the diet over a few weeks. Give the ring piece a chance to acclimatise to the new circumstances and maintain a stable output.

Brendan Bendar

“Tidy up” what’s all that about?

fuerte1976

Brendan Bendar wrote: »

“Tidy up” what’s all that about?

Lets just say, where I've been- I shouldn't have been..
It was also noted I was heading that direction to the location I shouldn't have been..
I can't blame the mess on the cute wan at the reception counter..:o

EmmetSpiceland

fuerte1976 wrote: »

Lets just say, where I've been- I shouldn't have been..
It was also noted I was heading that direction to the location I shouldn't have been..
I can't blame the mess on the cute wan at the reception counter..:o

Good man, F. Always cover your “tracks” when the bloodhounds are on your trail.

partyguinness

In the same boat. No beer or meat or sugar and pretty much no dairy for the past 2 weeks. Even cooked a vegetable curry that lasted me 3 days as no one else would eat it. Cooked lentils, cous cous and sweet potato for the first time ever and taking shots of beetroot juice. Porridge with oat milk.

Regrettably I too am on a heightened state of alert and straddling between amber "Be Prepared" and red "Take Action".

Dropped a peculiar load before leaving for work which is highly unusual and the old toilet brush got a good workout followed by 3 flushes. Very dark- I am putting it down to the beetroot.

Thankfully everyone else was on the school run and the place to myself.

fuerte1976

There could be very strange stories and tales on here over the next few weeks as people 'adjust'...

Could be like the twilight zone :pac:

The thread could well turn into a confession box

Fireball81

Lads, I know a man has to do what a man has to do but after a visit just now (lunchtine) in the office facilities there was a very suspicious noise coming from one of the traps.

Some choking the chicken by the sounds of it - the horror.

Surely people who need to do this during office hours use a private (disabled) trap instead? (and yes, I'm speaking from personal experience here).

EmmetSpiceland

Fireball81 wrote: »

Lads, I know a man has to do what a man has to do but after a visit just now (lunchtine) in the office facilities there was a very suspicious noise coming from one of the traps.

Some choking the chicken by the sounds of it - the horror.

Surely people who need to do this during office hours use a private (disabled) trap instead? (and yes, I'm speaking from personal experience here).

A, very, serious breech of “etiquette”, F. It’s incredibly uncomfortable for the other patrons.

And you’re spot on, this act, along with the “teeth brushers” and those suffering from IBS belongs in the disabled toilet.