What's the etiquette here??

Hector Savage

sligojoek wrote: »

Here's the one I put up before. Worth another look.

fair play to him for typing all that out on SMS!!

sligojoek

Hector Savage wrote: »

fair play to him for typing all that out on SMS!!

That was an email

Hector Savage

Brendan Bendar wrote: »

Spray a bit of glitter on her, into the freezer, very asssseptable.

ah jaysus ! not putting shight into the freezer again now !!!

gerrybbadd

dulpit wrote: »

Does anyone else experience an increase to the volume, frequency and urgency of emissions and expulsions if you get a lack of sleep?

Any interruption or deviation from my sleep pattern results in a wild dose of the trots. And increase in the pant gales. Some F5 level storms abrewing right now in fact.

Bad nights sleep, coupled with last night's chili (lovingly curated over a periood of about 3 hrs, complete with espresso shot, stout, piles of finger & birds eye chillis, peanut butter and a wild variation of hot sauces and spices), have me goose stepping on the regular. The leather cheerio is feeling bruised at the minute, and its taking a fair bit of paperwork at cleanup time

NeinNeinNein

Hector Savage wrote: »

ah jaysus ! not putting shight into the freezer again now !!!

Well there is half price sale at Iceland.

Hector Savage

NeinNeinNein wrote: »

Well there is half price sale at Iceland.

Shrimp on sale too ?

Brendan Bendar

Hector Savage wrote: »

Shrimp on sale too ?

Ooooh...... stay away from shrimp Heco.....coated many a unit in ripe runny foul-smelling midden after an intake of those bad boys.

Had to dispose of a set of accessories - seat, handles, cistern lid after a particularly explosive discharge which went into every nook and cranny and left a rank foul bang in the dunny like a fcuking guillemots nest.

Hector Savage

Had a lovely satisfying dump there this morning after a large cup of coffee.... one of those that just slides out effortlessly and goes on and on, looked like a python coiled up and sleeping in the bowl afterwards.

If only (as another poster suggested) I had a little Irish flag to plant in it !!!

Actually, Irish flag wouldn't be a good idea, since there is only 2 of us paddies in the office!!

mfceiling

Viz nailing it again.

CantGetNoSleep

Brendan Bendar wrote: »

Ooooh...... stay away from shrimp Heco.....coated many a unit in ripe runny foul-smelling midden after an intake of those bad boys.

Had to dispose of a set of accessories - seat, handles, cistern lid after a particularly explosive discharge which went into every nook and cranny and left a rank foul bang in the dunny like a fcuking guillemots nest.

Who prepared them for you? Wasn't a lad with a clogged sink by any chance?

Fireball81

Massive dump in Lemon & Duke earlier, was in for a 6 Nations rugby launch sponsored by Guinness.

Lovely quality (of my ****e), clean getaway too.

Hector Savage

Fireball81 wrote: »

Massive dump in Lemon & Duke earlier, was in for a 6 Nations rugby launch sponsored by Guinness.

Lovely quality (of my ****e), clean getaway too.

Thought that didn't start till med Feb ?

Fireball81

Hector Savage wrote: »

Thought that didn't start till med Feb ?

Starts a week on Saturday (1 Feb).

Some noxious fumes this morning from a few visits while trying to 'work' today.

JohnnyFlash

Hector Savage wrote: »

Thought that didn't start till med Feb ?

It’s never too early for a load of rugby bores to start talking shïte about the Six Nations.

Hector Savage

One thing I like about the six nations is it's a sign of springtime - couldn't care about the fat men running into each other aspect....

Slideways

Glorious **** this morning. In from a cycle and the seat had been helping hold the barrage back.

Barely had the Lycra down and plop plop plop.

Looking into the pan after and it brought me back to the time when Gateaux, the neighbours chocolate lab had 6 puppies in our turf shed. Unlike that time, there was minimal fuss and two sheets of Double velvet had the badge gleaming

Brendan Bendar

Slideways wrote: »

Glorious **** this morning. In from a cycle and the seat had been helping hold the barrage back.

Barely had the Lycra down and plop plop plop.

Looking into the pan after and it brought me back to the time when Gateaux, the neighbours chocolate lab had 6 puppies in our turf shed. Unlike that time, there was minimal fuss and two sheets of Double velvet had the badge gleaming

Get that Lycra washed rapido, Mr S, could be well bronzed and ‘bet in’.

Not good for the hoop.

NeinNeinNein

Slideways wrote: »

Glorious **** this morning. In from a cycle and the seat had been helping hold the barrage back.

Barely had the Lycra down and plop plop plop.

Looking into the pan after and it brought me back to the time when Gateaux, the neighbours chocolate lab had 6 puppies in our turf shed. Unlike that time, there was minimal fuss and two sheets of Double velvet had the badge gleaming

So that's why cyclists are always in a hurry.

I'm feeling a bit unsettled this afternoon. I tried a meatless burger on my lunch earlier. It tasted good, but didn't remotely taste like a burger should. Anyway, I've been belching ever since, really long low hot belches that bring up the flavour of Tayto Waffles (which I haven't eaten in ages) and leave the windpipe scalded. I'm not sure what the next trip to the throne will be like if this is anything to go by. The fent is probably going to be woeful. Not looking forward to it to be honest.

Nevin Parsnipp

Bunted out a nice thick cobbe of fleshy sour smelling midden this aft.

Had to light two candles in the bang box or her indoors would be complaining and banning my usual Friday nite feast consisting of a tray of Porter followed by smoked cod and chips from the local spic shop.

Blew out an ar$efull of bad air on egressing from the bus...instead of my usual polite thank you to the driver...

Pintman Paddy Losty

Nevin Parsnipp wrote: »

Bunted out a nice thick cobbe of fleshy sour smelling midden this aft.

Had to light two candles in the bang box or her indoors would be complaining and banning my usual Friday nite feast consisting of a tray of Porter followed by smoked cod and chips from the local spic shop.

Blew out an ar$efull of bad air on egressing from the bus...instead of my usual polite thank you to the driver...

Letting off a noxious puff of gas getting orf the bus is poor form Nevin. Ignorant behaviour.

fuerte1976

Can't quote both of the above posters on this gadget..

Get a room ye 2 ffs...

Pintman Paddy Losty

fuerte1976 wrote: »

Can't quote both of the above posters on this gadget..

Get a room ye 2 ffs...

Excuse me. I am just calling Nevin out on his ignorant behaviour. This thread is as much about education as it is support.

Thank'ee very much sir.

JohnnyFlash

Had 18 oysters, a feed of scampi and chips, and 9 pints of porter for the dinner last night. Couple of absolutely wretched low seepers emerged circa 8.30am this morning.

Lots of grumbling and rumbling from the stomach and lower digestive system now. I’ve sent the dollybird down to the shop for the paper and a dozen sausages. Expecting a very loose and violent evacuation in the next 15 minutes.

I’ll be bringing a can of Dettol Neutra Air in with me. And have resigned myself to extensive brush and paperwork.

Not good.

Fireball81

Good few pints of the black stuff on Friday night washed down with Burger King part way through proceedings.

The gas is still coming out this morning, toxic fumes on the can too as the darkest of cables are layed.

Thank fook for these bad boys

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Pre-Poo-Toilet-Freshener-Fruity-Scents/dp/B075CHMJWM/ref=mp_s_a_1_1_sspa?keywords=vip+poo+toilet+spray&qid=1580035757&sprefix=vip+poo&sr=8-1-spons&psc=1&spLa=ZW5jcnlwdGVkUXVhbGlmaWVyPUEzNFZCUVpLTTFFSzZPJmVuY3J5cHRlZElkPUEwMzMzMjA1MzhKNlQyS0ZXU0xGRCZlbmNyeXB0ZWRBZElkPUEwODAzNDk2MjNSSThNWFAzWlpNRyZ3aWRnZXROYW1lPXNwX3Bob25lX3NlYXJjaF9hdGYmYWN0aW9uPWNsaWNrUmVkaXJlY3QmZG9Ob3RMb2dDbGljaz10cnVl

JohnnyFlash

Fireball81 wrote: »

Good few pints of the black stuff on Friday night washed down with Burger King part way through proceedings.

The gas is still coming out this morning, toxic fumes on the can too as the darkest of cables are layed.

Thank fook for these bad boys

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Pre-Poo-Toilet-Freshener-Fruity-Scents/dp/B075CHMJWM/ref=mp_s_a_1_1_sspa?keywords=vip+poo+toilet+spray&qid=1580035757&sprefix=vip+poo&sr=8-1-spons&psc=1&spLa=ZW5jcnlwdGVkUXVhbGlmaWVyPUEzNFZCUVpLTTFFSzZPJmVuY3J5cHRlZElkPUEwMzMzMjA1MzhKNlQyS0ZXU0xGRCZlbmNyeXB0ZWRBZElkPUEwODAzNDk2MjNSSThNWFAzWlpNRyZ3aWRnZXROYW1lPXNwX3Bob25lX3NlYXJjaF9hdGYmYWN0aW9uPWNsaWNrUmVkaXJlY3QmZG9Ob3RMb2dDbGljaz10cnVl

Never heard of that stuff before.


Poo Pride
Stop avoiding bathroom visits because you're embarrassed to have a satisfying but smelly bowel movement. With V.I.Poo toilet spray handy you'll have new-found confidence in every BM no matter where or when you have to go. Make every poo sweet-smelling and confidence-boosting with V.I.Poo.

No matter where or when you have to go sounds a bit ominous. Like I was desperate to lay some cable at a christening a few weeks ago, but had to resist the urge to head into the sacristy to leave a brown loaf in the bishop’s mitre.

recyclebin

Was on stag over the weekend. Is there anything worse than the fent of your own sh1t after two days on Clonmels finest?

Also learned a new phrase from the lads on the stag. Any of ye ever hear of The HOP? Apparently it's the hangover poo. The first HOP give somes brief respite while the body recovers from the night before.

Brendan Bendar

JohnnyFlash wrote: »

Never heard of that stuff before.


Poo Pride
Stop avoiding bathroom visits because you're embarrassed to have a satisfying but smelly bowel movement. With V.I.Poo toilet spray handy you'll have new-found confidence in every BM no matter where or when you have to go. Make every poo sweet-smelling and confidence-boosting with V.I.Poo.

No matter where or when you have to go sounds a bit ominous. Like I was desperate to lay some cable at a christening a few weeks ago, but had to resist the urge to head into the sacristy to leave a brown loaf in the bishop’s mitre.

Filthy kernt- probably dab water over yer hoop out the holy water font.

Bullocks

Brendan Bendar wrote: »

Filthy kernt- probably dab water over yer hoop out the holy water font.

His hole would probably burst into flames if he put holy water near that unholy region

Bobblehats

Bullocks wrote: »

His hole would probably burst into flames if he put holy water near that unholy region

Holey unholy.