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What's the etiquette here??
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Aglomerado wrote: »Breached etiquette myself today.
I ambled into the workplace trap 2 for a big wee. Feeling some pressure building up, I decided to open the valves and I almost took the enamel off the bowl with a deeply satisfying, thunderous fart.
I sat there smirking until the (until now, totally silent) occupant of trap 3 decided to complete their paperwork. I had to allow her to leave and waited five more minutes before I could show my face again.
I was gone from my desk so long I bet my colleagues suspected I'd been for a sh1t!!!!!!
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Jaysus lads.....I haven't experienced a plot twist like that since "The Sixth Sense"............."I hear women farting".
For better or worse, I was raised in an era when the mere notion of female flatulence was spoken of in the same hushed tones as ghosts and/or religious apparitions.
Did Mary Robinson ever let one rip in the Aras??
Did Mary Harney or Mary O'Rourke ever launch an airborne toxic attack from the front row of the Dail??
Does Miriam O'Callaghan rise out of the leaba only after a morning thunder event???
:D:D Curry loving pint drinking woman here.
I'd say the above mentioned women could strip wallpaper with their emissions given their diets of (f)artichokes, foie gr(ass). Their logs would have Michelin stars.0 -
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Aglomerado wrote: »:D:D Curry loving pint drinking woman here.
I'd say the above mentioned women could strip wallpaper with their emissions given their diets of (f)artichokes, foie gr(ass). Their logs would have Michelin stars.I respect that it can be shocking to the erstwhile and earnest male when they first learn the shocking truth and reality of female flatulence. It can literally be an earth mover.
The shocking reality is that women have been farting for a lifetime, with the tenacity and tactfulness of a subversive underground terrorist movement. Their farts move like whispers in the breeze. Silent but deadly and with the impact of a well trained Guerilla taskforce. Their emissions are regrettably very real and thus far one of the most forgettable things in modern society, the entire concept makes me feel ill.
As a final word on this matter, I think all you can really do is be as vigilant as possible. I used to hoover the changing rooms in Arnotts as a teenager, I know what those animals are capable of. Never ever be fooled by their wide range of perfumes and Eau de Toilettes, this is quite literally a smoke screen. Try not to think too deeply about the deep and dark foul which lies within, we are talking about creatures that give life to the world, don't live in fear for ever, they are beasts of the warmest nature. When they knock out a few farts while ramming their size 14 arses into a pair of Levi's... you will feel thunder and sense smells that will change your life for ever and ever.
Don't live in denial please everyone, please, be brave.
This is all very disconcerting here. Not something one wants to contemplate with the weekend just ahead.0 -
The shocking reality is that women have been farting for a lifetime, with the tenacity and tactfulness of a subversive underground terrorist movement. Their farts move like whispers in the breeze. Silent but deadly and with the impact of a well trained Guerilla taskforce. Their emissions are regrettably very real and thus far one of the most forgettable things in modern society, the entire concept makes me feel ill.
How covert was this?
“You’re lucky you only got battery”. Not sure it was a reference to the texture or the assault on the senses but battery it most certainly was!0 -
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Bobblehats wrote: »How covert was this?
“You’re lucky you only got battery”. Not sure it was a reference to the texture or the assault on the senses but battery it most certainly was!
Her explanation is even worse ...
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The concept of women farting was definitely a rite of passage for me. Like the Queen or the Pope taking a dump. Apparently they do. Who'd have thunk huh?
Genuinely, my youth was blissfully ignorant to such possibilities, despite 2 sisters. To have a woman talking about it like this, sorry, but she might as well get up and have a sh1t on the bonnet of my car. It's a step too far for me and thank Christ we don't have Sharon Ní Bheoláin explaining the what's and wherefores of how she handles body gas. Sweet Jesus Almighty.:D
Sorry for sha(r)ttering the illusion of Feminine Mystique.0 -
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JohnnyFlash wrote: »I hope none of you dimwits and deviants are thinking of taking part in the Eggplant Challenge.
Brendan has been pretty quiet for the past few days so he might have already attempted it......
The doctors should have kicked it about a mile more up his hole when he came in with that complaint. Clown, sure the thing is nearly as big as his head.0 -
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