What's the etiquette here??

Slideways

Sober Crappy Chemis wrote: »

Affirmative action? Lol.

Did you actually LOL or did you sit staring stoically at the screen. Your wispy moustache moving fractionally?

Brendan Bendar

Sober Crappy Chemis wrote: »

Affirmative action? Lol.

What are your insinuations dude.

Let’s not drop this thread into petty disputes .

So far you are the first one to try to fcuk up an interesting discourse.

Let’s hear your reasons for this attempt.

Sober Crappy Chemis

Slideways wrote: »

Did you actually LOL or did you sit staring stoically at the screen. Your wispy moustache moving fractionally?

Green Bay Packers FTW.

Who are you btw? You weren’t even referenced in my posts?

EmmetSpiceland

Brendan Bendar wrote: »

What are your insinuations dude.

Let’s not drop this thread into petty disputes.

I fear the thread has been “infected” by, unwelcome, ratty types who are just looking up interrupt the discourse and drag, esteemed, contributors into heated interactions which could then be “reported” to the mods.

Best just let them “spew” out whatever hateful little things they have to say and, quite simply, ignore them, as they are very little worth.

Let’s get back to discussing the more “important” things in this life.

Brendan Bendar

EmmetSpiceland wrote: »

I fear the thread has been “infected” by, unwelcome, ratty types who are just looking up interrupt the discourse and drag, esteemed, contributors into heated interactions which could then be “reported” to the mods.

Best just let them “spew” out whatever hateful little things they have to say and, quite simply, ignore them, as they are very little worth.

Let’s get back to discussing the more “important” things in this life.

Let’s see how this pans out Emmett, not going to stand back and have insinuations thrown out .

Had enough of that.

Rest assured there will be happenings if it continues .

Sober Crappy Chemis

EmmetSpiceland wrote: »

I fear the thread has been “infected” by, unwelcome, ratty types who are just looking up interrupt the discourse and drag, esteemed, contributors into heated interactions which could then be “reported” to the mods.

Best just let them “spew” out whatever hateful little things they have to say and, quite simply, ignore them, as they are very little worth.

Let’s get back to discussing the more “important” things in this life.

Are you “content” that your life has become this? Sitting in a little southside housing “estate” before your bland job tomorrow and using words like “discourse” thinking that makes you sound clever, whilst smiling across your tiny sitting room at your “wife”.

Weird.
Just plain “weird”.

JohnnyFlash

Brendan Bendar wrote: »

Let’s see how this pans out Emmett, not going to stand back and have insinuations thrown out .

Had enough of that.

Rest assured there will be happenings if it continues .

Does the happenings involve a well polished tip of a brogue into the ballsac?

Sober Crappy Chemis

JohnnyFlash wrote: »

Does the happenings involve a well polished tip of a brogue into the ballsac?

Lol. The kitchen seller is back.

Sober Crappy Chemis

Brendan Bendar wrote: »

Let’s see how this pans out Emmett, not going to stand back and have insinuations thrown out .

Had enough of that.

Rest assured there will be happenings if it continues .

Happenings?

Whatcha gonna do son, ring Joe Duffy? Or set the Green Bay Packers on me?

Grow the fcuk up.

Woke Hogan

Sober Crappy Chemis wrote: »

Happenings?

Whatcha gonna do son, ring Joe Duffy? Or set the Green Bay Packers on me?

Grow the fcuk up.

That’s the second time you’ve mentioned that team. It’s more than a little homoerotic. Do you often fantasise about American football teams being “set” on you?

Sober Crappy Chemis

Woke Hogan wrote: »

That’s the second time you’ve mentioned that team. It’s more than a little homoerotic. Do you often fantasise about American football teams being “set” on you?

Hi. I have no argument with you.

There is a “link” on boards between at least two users who follow the same American football team, are big on “radio stuff” and are obsessed with faeces.

Take care.

Urethral Buttercup

To the lad who mentioned he's a 'folder' rather than a 'schruncher' earlier in the thread, no disrespect, but do you not find 'padding up' a bit emasculating? You've also got less ridges, creases and rough ends on the paper to scrape off caked on pebbledashing or excrement smeared on your glutes.

EmmetSpiceland

Urethral Buttercup wrote: »

To the lad who mentioned he's a 'folder' rather than a 'schruncher' earlier in the thread, no disrespect, but do you not find 'padding up' a bit emasculating? You've also got less ridges, creases and rough ends on the paper to scrape off caked on pebbledashing or excrement smeared on your glutes.

That was me, U. Hands up. But I will not apologise as I am not a child. I’m a grown man.

Only a child would “bunch” up a handful of paper then scrape it across their butthole, sawing it forwards and back before scrunching another “wad” and going at it again.

Folder provides excellent cover for the initial “tamp”, removing the majority of the outlying faecal matter. Much better than dragging a ball of crumpled paper across the “area”, like a child wiping chocolate ice cream from their mouth with the sleeve.

No, the folder is far more civilised and an, ultimately, more mature way of “cleaning” things up.

Rufeo

Does anyone on here get gas from fig rolls?

Hotblack Desiato

Hego Damask wrote: »

I hope ye don't use the blooy kettle for making the tea later!

He's like the male version of yer wan Gwyneth Paltrow and her fanny steaming antics.

Hotblack Desiato

mfceiling wrote: »

Not sold on the bidet tbh. No one washes their car using water only. You will still need a sponge or brush to get the dirt off. Must be the same as the sheriff's badge. Surely just directing a stream of water at the badge won't do much. You're still going to have to do some sort of extra cleaning to get it ready for the road again.

A good oul scrub with the left hand is the way to go, once the suds are no longer brown then scrub your fingertips on the left thigh and you're good to go

Silly Gilly

Seeing as the thread has taken a more risque turn in the past few days and I've had slightly too much wine I'll ask for some advice.

Ever since I was a child I've been fascinated by poo. As I reached puberty and matured into a young lady this fascination took on a sexual aspect. I find the process of being "unloaded" upon extremely erotic.

I've been in a great relationship with a lovely guy for the past year. I want to bring up the idea of some dirty play with him but I am afraid of frightening him off. However, the thought of him squatting above me while his puckered balloon knot releases it's warm brown goodness between my breasts is making me moist as I type and I can't hide this facet of my personality forever.

I'm pretty sure that most, if not all, posters here engage in such practices with their significant others, or prostitutes in the case of Pintman, so how did you broach that difficult first conversation when you asked them to defecate on you? Did they require much persuasion?

Thanks for any and all advice.

Hotblack Desiato

Just say you want a Cleveland Steamer and he can look it up on urban dictionary if he doesnt get it.I'm quite sure that men will be queueing up to sh*t on you. Bonne chance.

sligojoek

Silly Gilly wrote: »

Seeing as the thread has taken a more risque turn in the past few days and I've had slightly too much wine I'll ask for some advice.

Ever since I was a child I've been fascinated by poo. As I reached puberty and matured into a young lady this fascination took on a sexual aspect. I find the process of being "unloaded" upon extremely erotic.

I've been in a great relationship with a lovely guy for the past year. I want to bring up the idea of some dirty play with him but I am afraid of frightening him off. However, the thought of him squatting above me while his puckered balloon knot releases it's warm brown goodness between my breasts is making me moist as I type and I can't hide this facet of my personality forever.

I'm pretty sure that most, if not all, posters here engage in such practices with their significant others, or prostitutes in the case of Pintman, so how did you broach that difficult first conversation when you asked them to defecate on you? Did they require much persuasion?

Thanks for any and all advice.

1850 715815

Direct line to the top psychologist / psychiatrist in the country.

You're welcome

tgdaly

Jaysus lads only catching up on the thread now, I see there were a few attempts by trolls over the weekend to try and de-rail things, hopefully normal service has now been resumed

Brendan Bendar

tgdaly wrote: »

Jaysus lads only catching up on the thread now, I see there were a few attempts by trolls over the weekend to try and de-rail things, hopefully normal service has now been resumed

Time will tell Tee, hopefully the usual sensible moderation will be in evidence and things will get back on track.

Would be a shame if one or two scrotes tried to de-rail things.

A lot of useful advice being disbursed on this important thread.

Ush1

EmmetSpiceland wrote: »

That was me, U. Hands up. But I will not apologise as I am not a child. I’m a grown man.

Only a child would “bunch” up a handful of paper then scrape it across their butthole, sawing it forwards and back before scrunching another “wad” and going at it again.

Folder provides excellent cover for the initial “tamp”, removing the majority of the outlying faecal matter. Much better than dragging a ball of crumpled paper across the “area”, like a child wiping chocolate ice cream from their mouth with the sleeve.

No, the folder is far more civilised and an, ultimately, more mature way of “cleaning” things up.

Far less risk of a soiled finger nail with folding also.

Woke Hogan

tgdaly wrote: »

Jaysus lads only catching up on the thread now, I see there were a few attempts by trolls over the weekend to try and de-rail things, hopefully normal service has now been resumed

If you’re referring to me, I assure you I was being entirely serious. I suspect some of the bandiers of terms such as “troll” and “tool” should take a look at themselves first before throwing slurs around.

JohnnyFlash

Woke Hogan wrote: »

If you’re referring to me, I assure you I was being entirely serious. I suspect some of the bandiers of terms such as “troll” and “tool” should take a look at themselves first before throwing slurs around.

No offence, Hogan, but you strike me as the sort of man who doesn’t get enough fibre in his diet. You seem like a very ‘bound up’ sort of individual.

Wasn’t it Hippocrates himself who spoke at length about the need for a regular bowel movement to keep the humours in balance.

EmmetSpiceland

JohnnyFlash wrote: »

Wasn’t it Hippocrates himself who spoke at length about the need for a regular bowel movement to keep the humours in balance.

I believe it was the Cynics, Diogenes’ crew, who had a fairly strict diet that revolved mainly around “pulse” foods. Although, I’m not sure the man himself ate that way.

It was joked about, possibly based on truth, that they had the “richest” soil for growing vegetables due to their diet keeping them “regular”.

Or maybe that was the Stoics? Or both?

dulpit

Ush1 wrote: »

Far less risk of a soiled finger nail with folding also.

Surely all grown ups fold, no?

gerrybbadd

Attended a "curry night" with some of the neighbours on Friday night, and was quite disappointed to be met with potato & cauliflower, and some form of chickpea curry with standard rice. Copious cans of "Karpackie" were on tap however.

Jonesing for a bit of meaty spice, on Saturday night I made a wonderful Aloo Keema, recipe pilfered from the Cooking forum, served up with a wonderful cardamon/saffron rice. I love a bit of spice. Had the leftovers for dinner again last night.

Anyhow, all that spice does not agree with the consititution at all. The Non Assessable Spouse was less than happy with some of the scents arising from the duvet Sunday morning. She was less happy with the continued and sustained low howlers that were emitting from deep within. I think the straw that broke the camel's back however were the multitude of visits to the spare room jacks to dispense with the liquid contents of my gut. With Storm Dennis blowing outside and me blowing inside, a window couldn't be opened to assist with the clearing of scent.

She wasn't talking to me at all yesterday evening. It's a good thing she hasn't beared witness to some of the atrocities i've laid down this morning in work. Poor Zbigniew will surely resign....

Zbigniew is the unsung hero of this thread. That man has seen some s**t.

Pintman Paddy Losty

Brendan Bendar wrote: »

Time will tell Tee, hopefully the usual sensible moderation will be in evidence and things will get back on track.

Would be a shame if one or two scrotes tried to de-rail things.

A lot of useful advice being disbursed on this important thread.

Less of your whining Brendan. This place doesn't need moderation. The last thing this thread needs is some spotty-faced dweeb in here handing out yellow cards and throwing his weight around.

I happen to think that Hogan chap was genuine in his pursuit of truth regarding his whale of a daughter. Given the amount of hefty Leitrim nurses that you've done the beast of two backs with over the years, I had imagined that you would be in a good position to offer the man some insight in the the bowel movements of larger ladies who love their chippers? Hmmm?

tgdaly

Woke Hogan wrote: »

If you’re referring to me, I assure you I was being entirely serious. I suspect some of the bandiers of terms such as “troll” and “tool” should take a look at themselves first before throwing slurs around.

No it was that other lad Sober Crappy Chemis I was referring to. Very valid contributions from yourself