Advertisement
If you have a new account but are having problems posting or verifying your account, please email us on hello@boards.ie for help. Thanks :)
Hello all! Please ensure that you are posting a new thread or question in the appropriate forum. The Feedback forum is overwhelmed with questions that are having to be moved elsewhere. If you need help to verify your account contact hello@boards.ie

What's the etiquette here??

Options
1…174175177179180…327

Comments

  • Options
    #5282
    Rodney Bathgate
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,445 ✭✭✭Rodney Bathgate


    Sober Crappy Chemis wrote: »
    Tupperware is better than a jar I hear....

    Only if you plan to freeze it. Maureen wants to display it for all to see.


  • Options
    #5283
    sligojoek
    Registered Users Posts: 25,420 ✭✭✭✭sligojoek


    Vacuum pack.


  • Options
    #5284
    EmmetSpiceland
    Registered Users Posts: 10,747 ✭✭✭✭EmmetSpiceland


    I’d fear the formaldehyde would “compromise” the bolus, itself.

    I would recommend a lacquer, one that can hold in the “water weight”. If that sucker dries out you’re going to lose a lot of its “splendour”.

    The next step would be to make a mould of it so you can prepare a “cast”. It’s best not to display the original, that should be kept in an airtight safe, both for protection and for the air quality within your home.

    If you’re going to go down the “freezing” route be sure that it’s freeze dried. You don’t just love such “magnificence” into a freezer and expect it to maintain its shape and impressiveness.

    Plus if you’re using a “household” freezer you may be forced to “coil” the beast instead of displaying it as it was hooked.

    Best of luck with your endeavours.

    “It is not blood that makes you Irish but a willingness to be part of the Irish nation” - Thomas Davis



  • Options
    #5285
    Bullocks
    Registered Users Posts: 5,890 ✭✭✭Bullocks


    MaureensFry wrote: »
    What's the best way to preserve a **** in a large jar

    24 incher this morning and would like to display it on the mantle piece.

    You're talking about 2 foot long???? What kinda jar do you think you will get that into?
    What was the girth on her?
    Be worth talking to a taxidermist on something like that.......


  • Options
    #5286
    fuerte1976
    Closed Accounts Posts: 692 ✭✭✭fuerte1976


    Bullocks wrote: »
    You're talking about 2 foot long???? What kinda jar do you think you will get that into?
    What was the girth on her?
    Be worth talking to a taxidermist on something like that.......

    Ffs, lol


  • Advertisement
  • Options
    #5287
    Sober Crappy Chemis
    Closed Accounts Posts: 461 ✭✭Sober Crappy Chemis


    Bullocks wrote: »
    Be worth talking to a taxidermist on something like that.......

    Or a mortician; maybe embalm the arse-cadaver for optimum public 'display' ?


  • Options
    #5288
    Rodney Bathgate
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,445 ✭✭✭Rodney Bathgate


    I think we need to make an exception to the no photo rule for this...


  • Options
    #5289
    EmmetSpiceland
    Registered Users Posts: 10,747 ✭✭✭✭EmmetSpiceland


    Rodney Bathgate wrote: »
    I think we need to make an exception to the no photo rule for this...

    Take it to PM for that “carry on”.

    “It is not blood that makes you Irish but a willingness to be part of the Irish nation” - Thomas Davis



  • Options
    #5290
    JohnnyFlash
    Registered Users Posts: 7,055 ✭✭✭JohnnyFlash


    EmmetSpiceland wrote: »
    Take it to PM for that “carry on”.

    I’d have to agree. As a Boards legend and creator of this thread I’d hate for it to be closed down. That would be a victory for the extremely ‘bound up’ individuals who hate this thread and want it closed.


  • Options
    #5291
    Bullocks
    Registered Users Posts: 5,890 ✭✭✭Bullocks


    Sober Crappy Chemis wrote: »
    Or a mortician; maybe embalm the arse-cadaver for optimum public 'display' ?

    Could probably use a stitch or two from a gynaecologist after heaving out a two footer as well while we are calling on professionals


  • Advertisement
  • Options
    #5292
    Sober Crappy Chemis
    Closed Accounts Posts: 461 ✭✭Sober Crappy Chemis


    Bullocks wrote: »
    Could probably use a stitch or two from a gynaecologist after heaving out a two footer as well while we are calling on professionals

    True, and finished off with a bit of reconstructive surgery on the brown 'labia majora' by a reputable plastic surgeon.


  • Options
    #5293
    Bullocks
    Registered Users Posts: 5,890 ✭✭✭Bullocks


    Sober Crappy Chemis wrote: »
    True, and finished off with a bit of reconstructive surgery on the brown 'labia majora' by a reputable plastic surgeon.

    This could turn into one helluva expensive ****e


  • Options
    #5294
    sligojoek
    Registered Users Posts: 25,420 ✭✭✭✭sligojoek


    We're gonna need a bigger bowl.


  • Options
    #5295
    Hotblack Desiato
    Registered Users Posts: 34,854 ✭✭✭✭Hotblack Desiato


    Rodney Bathgate wrote: »
    And even then only for the 1 in 100 massive headed babies.

    Giving birth to twins, I call it.

    MaureensFry wrote: »
    What's the best way to preserve a **** in a large jar

    24 incher this morning and would like to display it on the mantle piece.

    I'm more of a metric kinda guy.

    sligojoek wrote: »
    Vacuum pack.

    Sous-vide.

    Fingal County Council are certainly not competent to be making decisions about the most important piece of infrastructure on the island. They need to stick to badly designed cycle lanes and deciding on whether Mrs Murphy can have her kitchen extension.



  • Options
    #5296
    Bullocks
    Registered Users Posts: 5,890 ✭✭✭Bullocks


    Hotblack Desiato wrote: »
    Giving birth to twins, I call it.




    I'm more of a metric kinda guy.




    Sous-vide.

    We are talking about a 600mm long king turd if you want it in metric HD !


  • Options
    #5297
    Hotblack Desiato
    Registered Users Posts: 34,854 ✭✭✭✭Hotblack Desiato


    You mean you didn't weigh the beast? :D

    Fingal County Council are certainly not competent to be making decisions about the most important piece of infrastructure on the island. They need to stick to badly designed cycle lanes and deciding on whether Mrs Murphy can have her kitchen extension.



  • Options
    #5298
    Rodney Bathgate
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,445 ✭✭✭Rodney Bathgate


    Paddy is fairly quite since Maureen started posting. She seems to be cramping his style.


  • Options
    #5299
    padd b1975
    Registered Users Posts: 10,750 ✭✭✭✭padd b1975


    MaureensFry wrote: »
    What's the best way to preserve a **** in a large jar

    24 incher this morning and would like to display it on the mantle piece.

    Cling film the barsterd, liquid nail to some polished wood and park it on the mantle piece.


  • Options
    #5300
    MaureensFry
    Closed Accounts Posts: 48 ✭MaureensFry


    So with people been home more because of the virus are any family members giving out at all from the smell in the jacks, especially after a large scuttery one with the smell oozing from the bathroom to the rest of the house making their eyes water?

    Anyone try the VI-POO products are similar?


  • Options
    #5301
    Brendan Bendar
    Registered Users Posts: 19,475 ✭✭✭✭Brendan Bendar


    MaureensFry wrote: »
    So with people been home more because of the virus are any family members giving out at all from the smell in the jacks, especially after a large scuttery one with the smell oozing from the bathroom to the rest of the house making their eyes water?

    Anyone try the VI-POO products are similar?

    Problems are usually caused by ‘hatching’ the drop.

    That is sitting on the pot,perhaps thumbing through a ‘Gardeners Catalogue’,while the load steeps underneath.

    This allows the fent to rise up and seep through the building like a cloying fog.

    Antidote of course is as soon as the load splashes,hit the flusher, and while the freckle will get a bit of splatther the rest of the House will thank you.


  • Advertisement
  • Options
    #5302
    Dardania
    Registered Users Posts: 3,612 ✭✭✭Dardania


    Brendan Bendar wrote: »
    Problems are usually caused by ‘hatching’ the drop.

    That is sitting on the pot,perhaps thumbing through a ‘Gardeners Catalogue’,while the load steeps underneath.

    This allows the fent to rise up and seep through the building like a cloying fog.

    Antidote of course is as soon as the load splashes,hit the flusher, and while the freckle will get a bit of splatther the rest of the House will thank you.

    Ah, a sympathy flush. Get your point, but sometimes you just want to remind yourself of what you can do...


  • Options
    #5303
    JohnnyFlash
    Registered Users Posts: 7,055 ✭✭✭JohnnyFlash


    Dardania wrote: »
    Ah, a sympathy flush. Get your point, but sometimes you just want to remind yourself of what you can do...

    That’s fine if you’re living the bachelor lifestyle, or if you’re house sharing and want to use the unmistakable scent of ‘eau de arse’ to express displeasure with your housemates. Let it stew there.

    It isn’t realistic though when you’re living with herself. ‘Hey babe, come in here and take a look at the length of this shït monster’ is highly unlikely to get a positive response from herself. Especially if she’s being a bit emotional and tetchy anyway. Which is common enough when dealing with the more dangerous sex.


  • Options
    #5304
    Slideways
    Registered Users Posts: 2,017 ✭✭✭Slideways


    Not always the blokes to blame and in modern times it’s important to remember the fairer sex can drop nukes too.

    Indeed I was house sharing with a nurse from Mauritius for a few years, stocky lass and I never was tempted to stray into the other room in my time there.

    She was fond of the creole style cooking and often let a squeaky fart out when she thought I wasn’t within earshot.

    Anyway, got up in the middle of the night for a slash and walked squinty eyes to the throne so as not to wake fully from my slumber. Was pissing like a race horse aiming by pure sound in the dark when it hit me. Like a sledge hammer to my olfactory system. Stopped mid-stream and turned on the light. Sweet mother of god. It was like someone had mixed paella with an Easter egg and melted it over a stove. The flow had broken it up and all hell had been awoken. Had a stern talking to her, she claimed it must have mis-flushed


  • Options
    #5305
    Nevin Parsnipp
    Registered Users Posts: 832 ✭✭✭Nevin Parsnipp


    had a nice juicy steal yestiddy...."residue" began to knock on the door this aft.

    Scampered up to the main bang box and got set up :

    Door..closed and secured......belt off....jox....down.....hoop....in the position !

    Held her on the clutch...like a Ferrari at the lights.

    Lights go GREEN....gave her full throttle !

    Unloaded both cheeks of vile scutther...big foot print...intense bang .....scalded nipsy.

    Thank fcuck she exited at flush 1...I had grave doubts she would nav the bend.

    All I can say is I hope the pumping stations are working as if this bad boy floats up on some beach...it's sayonara to the Blue Flag !

    Sayonara ...for sure ...for sure ....


  • Options
    #5306
    Brendan Bendar
    Registered Users Posts: 19,475 ✭✭✭✭Brendan Bendar


    Nevin Parsnipp wrote: »
    had a nice juicy steal yestiddy...."residue" began to knock on the door this aft.

    Scampered up to the main bang box and got set up :

    Door..closed and secured......belt off....jox....down.....hoop....in the position !

    Held her on the clutch...like a Ferrari at the lights.

    Lights go GREEN....gave her full throttle !

    Unloaded both cheeks of vile scutther...big foot print...intense bang .....scalded nipsy.

    Thank fcuck she exited at flush 1...I had grave doubts she would nav the bend.

    All I can say is I hope the pumping stations are working as if this bad boy floats up on some beach...it's sayonara to the Blue Flag !

    Sayonara ...for sure ...for sure ....

    Don’t fret Nevin, gave the shït farm a bell to get the big knives out.

    Fcukin mackerel will be like Zambezi wall-eyes when they get a feed of that bad boy.

    Fcukers shoalin’ for two hours at the stand pipe atter she were cut up.

    Fat as butchers pups.


  • Options
    #5307
    Lewis_Benson
    Registered Users Posts: 2,002 ✭✭✭Lewis_Benson


    Nevin Parsnipp wrote: »
    had a nice juicy steal yestiddy...."residue" began to knock on the door this aft.

    Scampered up to the main bang box and got set up :

    Door..closed and secured......belt off....jox....down.....hoop....in the position !

    Held her on the clutch...like a Ferrari at the lights.

    Lights go GREEN....gave her full throttle !

    Unloaded both cheeks of vile scutther...big foot print...intense bang .....scalded nipsy.

    Thank fcuck she exited at flush 1...I had grave doubts she would nav the bend.

    All I can say is I hope the pumping stations are working as if this bad boy floats up on some beach...it's sayonara to the Blue Flag !

    Sayonara ...for sure ...for sure ....

    Did you mean steak?


  • Options
    #5308
    JohnnyFlash
    Registered Users Posts: 7,055 ✭✭✭JohnnyFlash


    Lewis_Benson wrote: »
    Did you mean steak?

    I’d say Nevin cracked the skull open on his first can of gut rot lager after the porridge this morning.


  • Options
    #5309
    Brendan Bendar
    Registered Users Posts: 19,475 ✭✭✭✭Brendan Bendar


    JohnnyFlash wrote: »
    I’d say Nevin cracked the skull open on his first can of gut rot lager after the porridge this morning.

    Probably bet into a slab of Linden Village.

    Hear he’s a cider lad, cheaper the better, piss soaked ‘comfort’ Blue Harbours’ hanging off him.

    Crotch rotted off the fcukers.


  • Options
    #5310
    Nevin Parsnipp
    Registered Users Posts: 832 ✭✭✭Nevin Parsnipp


    Lewis_Benson wrote: »
    Did you mean steak?

    Yeah...thanx Lewis....meant steak...for sure ..for sure.


    Bye ...bye .bye ...bye ...bye ..by....b .....:D


  • Advertisement
  • Options
    #5311
    Nevin Parsnipp
    Registered Users Posts: 832 ✭✭✭Nevin Parsnipp


    Brendan Bendar wrote: »
    Probably bet into a slab of Linden Village.

    Hear he’s a cider lad, cheaper the better, piss soaked ‘comfort’ Blue Harbours’ hanging off him.

    Crotch rotted off the fcukers.

    Admit to being partial to a slab o cider pal ...Woodgate from Lidle is to be recommended .

    No Blue harbor gear nor rotted crotch neither ....

    Top o the range Okanui shorts if you must know...nothin bogan about "The Nev" !


Advertisement