What's the etiquette here??

YellowLead

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120002235#Comment_120002235

Is this a sponge you use once and bin? Or do I read people having a pooey sponge at loose in the bathroom, hopefully nobody else in the household gets caught out and uses it on the face!

cj maxx

Had a submarine just now. No splash, just a ripple and sunk from sight. Not a mark on me hole

Sgt Hartman

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120005734#Comment_120005734

Jaysus no!! I wouldn't stoop so low as to have a poop sponge 😅 I have expensive bamboo toilet paper delivered from whogivesacrap.com. I rinse a good lump of it under the tap to create a "poop poultice" for cleansing the ring after passing a viscous stool.

Brendan Bendar

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120005734#Comment_120005734

Pack it away discreetly and it can be used again in the event there is a large ‘footprint’ around the muzzle.

Lad gave me a great tip….. rinse the sponge well and put in a plastic bag.

If needed wet in tepid water and put in the microwave at a low setting for a short time.

This will loosen any ‘deep seated winnitts’, rinse again and wipe out the microwave .

Result he claimed is a lovely heated sponge which would clean even a hoop that was in the ‘Deepcrust Pepperoni’ class.

He suggested that one could get at least three cycles from that manoeuvre.

Hope that helps.

YellowLead

Jesus Christ. Now we are putting pooey sponges in the microwave. I’ve heard it all 🤣 Got to love the inventiveness I guess :) would you not just hop in the shower for two minutes?

How come women have no issue with this arse wiping business? Why is it that men use a whole roll of toilet paper yet women need two sheets.

mfceiling

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120006908#Comment_120006908

You obviously don't have women in your house.

I've 4 in my house and I reckon they are eating the stuff because I seem to spend half my life in Tesco buying it.

flatty

Have you thought of buying more than one roll at a time?

Larbre34

Women use way more bog roll for the ring, because they don't have knowledge of the hacks that men have for a deep and thorough clean.

For instance, if I need to evacuate at an away venue, I'll always use the handicapped closet, because a difficult eviction almost always needs the additional measure of TP soaked in warm water from the wee sink right alongside the pan. Thats just not possible in a setup with traps and can result in a massive wastage of roll and an inflamed sheriff's badge from endless wiping with low grade hospitality industry paper.

While I think of it, the finest public bathroom I was ever in, was in the Dublin Airport Platinum Services reception area recently. I highly recommend it before boarding the Falcon 8X.

Slideways

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120006908#Comment_120006908

What nonsense. If they would just give a bit of a shiver or a shake after a Jimmy Riddle it would save thousands of trees every year

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120007429#Comment_120007429

“Wet the beard”

Slideways

Shake the dew off the lilly

Larbre34

No not really. Depending on what way the flaps are set for touchdown, that stuff can go everywhere, they do need a bit of a rub down.

Just had the first Brussels Sprouts and canned Guinness combo fart of the season, and, as expected, it was absolutely fücking horrific. Could pin a medal on it.

Larbre34

Merry Christmas Doc!

Nevin Parsnipp

Just backed out a tube of sticky fudge which required deep cleaning.....delighted on my larst Lidle visit I invested in a new ar$e sponge for swabbing out the cleft.

Did a brilliant job with a little tepid warter...should give me an extra 24 hrs in the current skiddies ......makes a huge difference when there is no gusset crust and everything is nice and fresh...

The sponge is your only man ....will save you from all that rootin and tearin at yourselves from itchy barse syndrome ....trust me.

Nev.

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120016905#Comment_120016905

You on the cooking lager a bit early, pal?

Brendan Bendar

Heard the green bin is up to the gills in Argus 8.1 cans in casa Parsnip..

My Freakin washing machine ‘blew up’ last week and there’s a build up of ripe skiddies lining up.

You can tell what was on the menu by the whack off them.

Big bang off the Wed.and Thur units, whack of Big Al’s spicy rissoles off the fookhers.

Hope the new machine comes before Xmas.

Slideways

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120016960#Comment_120016960

hang them on the line, the seagulls will pick the heavy staining off them Bren

Just a warning for anyone heading West from the Pale - the M4 Westbound Service Area have closed their toilets and installed a fücking portacabin of shïtters in the playground. Wet seats, no hand dryer, wojus bang of scutter off the place. Wasn’t helped by my contribution - Bombay mix and red wine to excess last night.

Brendan Bendar

If I was confronted with that scenario a big sluice of watery scutther would put at least one porto out of commission.

As Preston Smith said “You gotta protect yourself..on and off the field”

Lewis_Benson

Lads just a heads up for the next week.

A lot of us will be on an overindulgence of wine, cheeses of many types, stuffing, ham n turkey sambos, cheap beer and chocolate.

Keep the wet wipe in the back of the fridge, make sure to have plenty if Gaviscon about the place, have your phone on charge for those long throne sessions.

And over all, have a merry and not too painful Christmas, enjoy the yule log, not the other log.

Have this beside the shïtter for some light reading over the Christmas.

Brendan Bendar

Good call Dr. I had me first ‘Xmas Drop’ earlier this am.

Nice buttery batton which blew out like a four man bob.

Reckon anything after that will have a bit of ‘scatther’ about it.

Back page of the ‘Sindo’ might be pressed into action!

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120030739#Comment_120030739

The back page of the Sindo is a cure for constipation and can be used to protect the white furniture. Maybe Kerrigan does have a purpose.

Nevin Parsnipp

Indeed ! I find the festive season is a little more fraught than usual in matters lavatorial.

A little more social interaction requires a certain amount of pre sh1te planning as you don't want to have a loose load in the dropping bay on a visit to the in laws...

Always try for an early drop on Christmas morn and fire up the scented candles in the "upper" and put out the cat out well in advance of the projected ETA.

It's only good practice and manners and avoids a scene what occured in a rellies house larst xmas when I had the misfortune to follow a visit from Uncle George to the traps and be confronted with a noxious log like the saddle of a Tour De France bike .

Blew a generous plume of scaldy runnell over it and sent the lot down to Ringsend as an early present for the sh1temen there.....

It is the season of giving you know ....

Count Dracula

Fairly emotionally unrewarding pebble dash, reeking of Sprouts, KP roasted peanuts, Stout, Drambuie and last nights Boiled Ham. I could not get the entire midden fully out, so I am left farting peanut pellets all morning. My sister's dog is giving me really strange looks atm.

I got an almighty scowl from my niece just after. She has never done that before.

It is going to be a long day no matter what happens now. Mild dry retching as well, I am afraid to eat. Pushed a few cocktail sausies down about an hour ago, god bless my gag reflex, they were hard to get down. Currently nursing a West coast cooler mixed with Southern Comfort and blackcurrent, not too bad.

May all your Khasi ventures be enjoyable this Christmas. Have a good one.

tgdaly

Lads in Ringsend going on red alert right about now

Larbre34

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120033448#Comment_120033448

Live from the Poolbeg Peninsula

spacetweek

A feast of dry turkey, overdone ham and underdone spit roasted piglet (we have Croatian in-laws who are mad for the stuff) left my earthen-toned outputs in a semisolid state last night. I had two heavy-duty visits to the lav in the space of an hour - the second preceded by a few close calls in the shart department. Thankfully Mrs. Spacetweek had retired to bed and my nephew was chatting loudly on his phone auf Deutsch in the attic so I had the facilities to myself.

Count Dracula

No release yet and I am meeting the public in about 2 hours. I think she is clogged altogether, I am stuck literally.

If I have 3 cans and few whiskey chasers now, there is every chance that once I hit the fresh air it will send out the 3 minute warning, that could be catastrophic if I am half way between the local and my sisters. I don't fancy the 10 minutes of arse clenching either.

If that doesn't work I will have to pan face my way around the local all afternoon, slipping out the nastiest of silent but deadly's it may have witnessed since 2021. If I get talking with any old flames it is a sure fire way to get the traps open. I sense a distinct possibility of a follow through as well...