What's the etiquette here??

Brendan Bendar

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121126691#Comment_121126691

Hope you were in the office not working from home.

cj maxx

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121127265#Comment_121127265

No at home. Alot of toilet cleaning had to be done 😡

mfceiling

Who was in the powerscourt centre recently?

LeBash

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/109866546#Comment_109866546

As he was hanging around on his phone...

blade1

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121146602#Comment_121146602

No one from here.

If it was it would look like a Jackson Pollock.

Brendan Bendar

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121146616#Comment_121146616

Hmmm fairly pristine shítter there, pal.

Lad who left a burst of thin arse gruel in trap three down the club, could do a job on that.

Fcukker left more on the cistern than the pot.Like a fcuking shotgun blast.

Hotblack Desiato

Some people just have no sense of decency or decorum, it's sad to see and within the confines of a cubicle, unobserved by any other, they feel free to act as if animals. As anyone who's had the unfortunate job of cleaning up the ladies' at a late bar or nightclub can no doubt relate.

blade1

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121147880#Comment_121147880

I went into a cubicle early one evening in a pub in Cork.

It was quiet enough so you'd expect the shitter to be in a half decent state.

Well, the guy before me must have been allergic to paper or something because he used his hand and wiped shît all over the wall.

If the authorities ever wanted to find the culprit they could have gotten his fingerprints of any of the numerous shît stains on the wall.

Killing part was as I exited someone else was entering.

Now the dilemma, whether to say something or not.

I said it, but I could tell he thought it was me.

Fûck sake!

barneygumble99

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121146602#Comment_121146602

Even the water in the bowl is laughing

Has anybody noticed toilet rolls are becoming ever more measly, like the chicken wings in offer about which I considered opening up a thread. In a hotel you have little control, except to bring your own extra. I have an ileostomy, you empty standing up, you need an excellent landing pad and plenty of cleanup tissue. With an ileostomy you need to empty with every pee, no bother except when confronted by an empty bog roll, which is happening every more often.

Hotblack Desiato

Well that sounds awful. Those of us with the usual rectum function have a hard enough time given the parsimonious nature of the average Irish hotel or public bar owner. One has to take advantage of a decent landing pad where one can, if you know what I mean.

spacetweek

I had to bear witness to a painful birth in the work toilets today. As I stood draining my own tank some unfortunate in cubicle number three was huffing and puffing his way through a difficult delivery. F***er needed a Caesarean by the sound of it.

“Uhhhh…. Hurhhhhh…. hunghhhh…”

And with one final near orgasmic “hawwwww” a healthy brown baby was given a water birth. “Congratulations”, I muttered, “you must be very proud. Doesn't he look exactly like his father…”

Hotblack Desiato

Reminiscent of the cubicle fight scene in Austin Powers.

Imagine the strain on the drawstring bag though, has to cause long-term damage if it's anything more than a temporary dietary lapse. Should probably go on the Guinness for a bit.

Brendan Bendar

Pear cider is your man, partook of a generous quantity last Friday after being a little bit 'bound' for a day or two.

Was limbering up adjacent to the first tee on Sat morning and the movement must have triggered the bilges.

Straight into trap one, ankled the the strides, and hosed out two full arse-cheeks of watery fizzy scutther which left a large footprint.

Fuuherking relief was enormous, as was the damage to the pot..must leave a tip for Magdalena next time I see her.

Sawbuck should take care of it.

Lewis_Benson

Just back from a week in Salou lads.

The rich foods and spanish lager have done wonders for the movements.

Grouptherapy

Calmed down now but very busy morning in the oval office. All 5 traps in the main jacks and the 2 in the smaller one were flat out until about mid morning. Between the rugby and the fine weather some lads seemed to have done the dog.

Lewis_Benson

Been eating curries fairly regularly as of late.

The output is something to behold.

Baba Yaga

started off the morning as usual...wee pot of Italian coffee and a pan of warm millk,perfect! the usual pressure on the bomb bay,grand says i,toddle off to the crapper,phone in hand to check the news,pressure building nicely...seated comfortably then...pressure seemed to build too much,more pressure that didnt feel right,bit like a pressure cooker building...then,like a whoosh! hardly any splash,almost like one of them high divers that cut clean into the water,followed by a long fart like one of them trumpet players going from a low to a high note,had to have a look at the damage,twas embedded into the bottom of the bend like a dud missle,good solid round though...think what happened was the seal between the doors and the round was too good and the fart couldnt escape...100% lighter after though it did take a few good flushes to clear the target area.

Brendan Bendar

Uhmmmm!

Arthur Fent

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121250421#Comment_121250421

What's wrong Bren ? A bit bound up are we ???

Brendan Bendar

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121250673#Comment_121250673

Ehh…not ‘holding on’ Arthur, Just …well ,..a wee bit critical of too much ‘mulch’

Grouptherapy

Was on a site earlier following up on an order and had cause to use their facilities. Big enough site (multinational client) with good welfare facilities.

I opened stall door and was greeted with carnage... Puddle of loose midden on the floor that had been discharged under pressure judging by the splashes on the skirting and wall - and the pan looked like someone had tipped compost bin into / over it.

I backed out and decided I could wait till later!

Jesus, many cleaners must suffer with PTSD.

Hotblack Desiato

They must have had more than one trap surely?

Brendan Bendar

Working off a few lieu days today, took a stroll along a North Dublin seaside walk.

Knew I had a bigg’un marinating in the pipes but thought the shïtter waypoints were adequate for the stroll.

Unhh. after I passed the second …round dropped into the chamber and was primed.

Barely made it to waypoint three ,a public shïtter, where I blew a solid blast of bright loose midden into the pan.

fNext thing into the stall beside me a ‘Genuine Doob’ talking to his mate outside, drops what sounded like a sack of entrails on a butchers floor.

They we’re still roaring and shouting when I exited rapidly with the head down.

Baba Yaga

reminds me...we cured the new furkhead from finance,allways yapping on the phone in the shithous,one of the co-workers had gotten hold the the most foul smelling fart spray,waited till he went in,talking to his mate on speaker,gave him a minute and gave several sprays of that stuff...fukcer exited fairly rapidly coughing and sputtering,more then a green shade too,muttering to his pal fintan he wont be using that crapper in future...i think that was a solid days work done...

Hotblack Desiato

I would have saved the cash and just continually played fart noises on the phone as loud as possible (bluetooth speaker for added points) any time he tried to strike up a conversation. With any luck his oppo would think it was him making the music

Bobson Dugnutt

Back since Wednesday from a week in Spain. Drank a savage amount of Rioja and the local beers, as well as numerous cheese and meat platters, fried fish, patatas bravas etc. Plenty of late night pizza slices as well.

Still have a serious dose of the shïts 2 days later. Visiting the can at least 8 times a day and it’s just liquid fudge at this stage. No major farting going on but every build up of pressure down at the scour valve is a sign it’s time to visit the small room.

Not good at all.

CGI_Livia_Soprano

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121291990#Comment_121291990

Remember to drink plenty of fluids, and that Lucozade is no substitute for water when you have dehydration from diarrhoea.

EmmetSpiceland

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121292008#Comment_121292008

They used to have that warning written on the bottle but changed it quite recently. Instead of diarrhoea it now just says “upset stomach”.

Guess they decided it was best not to have the word “diarrhoea” on, what’s technically, a foodstuff.

Hotblack Desiato

Flat 7up for the win.

Bit surprised at that outcome Bobson, I'd have thought the sudden return to the Irish diet would have produced a case of eggbound combined with burning on the 'limited edition releases' due to embedded chili particles chafing against the exit, but I'm no doctor.