What's the etiquette here??

Arthur Fent

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121756423#Comment_121756423

Sounds like the lad, Parsnip....

Brendan Bendar

Nah, that fcukker would have been releasing noxious fumes which would have lifted the Formica off the floor and the walnut veneer off the bar.

Crotch of the jocks would have been ‘perished’ with the acidy bang of cheap East European 8.5 rotgut.

Baba Yaga

had a major incident in the job this morning...around 10-ish was just thinking of going for the breakfast when i got a code red on the radio to the executive floor,rushed up,found one of the cleaners slumped against the wall outside the executive crappers,gasping for breath,hardly able to speak,go look,go look was all she could say,i thought...ah crap,one of them has croaked,the fookin paper work is going to take days on this...anywho,rushed in in full life-saver mode only to be met with the worst stench ever!even worse then the fart spray i used downstairs awhile back! first thought was...fcuk,the body has been here all weekend!...pushed open all the stall doors...what i found can only be described as modern art sprayed on the walls and shitter in black/brown/yellow liquid shite...the poor cleaner is still in shock and im no great myself...had to call in a bio hazard team and them lads arent cheap!! and the surprising part is only about 15 people have access to that floor...suspicion is pointing towards one exec in particular,big rugby fan...

blade1

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121759063#Comment_121759063

You done the right thing coming on here and sharing it.

We've got your back, no need to carry that burden on your own.

Baba Yaga

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121759179#Comment_121759179

much appreciated...seems the bio hazard guys found a set of jocks in there...the facilities team is keeping them for evidence,doesnt ber thinking about!! never thought an arse could spray that much shite!!! fcuk!!! i need a drop of brandy i think...

blade1

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121759322#Comment_121759322

I'm surprised the culprit got away unnoticed.

Surely with a blast of that magnitude he would had to take some of the hit himself.

No sign of any walking wounded leaving the premises on camera, no?

Baba Yaga

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121759397#Comment_121759397

no...no cctv on that floor(executive privelege) plus they all keep a spare suit or two in a small meeting room,shower room on that floor too,im sure there was splash back/collateral damage,had to have been...maybe the jocks will tell the tale,out of my hands now thank jayzus! facilities crowd are looking into it now,rather them then me!!!

Bobson Dugnutt

2 ply, so very much aimed at those on a budget or with a very healthy diet.

blade1

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121765924#Comment_121765924

Just drove past Lidl about 15 minutes ago.

Wondered what the stampede was all about.

Slideways

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121765924#Comment_121765924

Wouldn’t be much use to me at the minute Bob

For the sake of some minors reading this fine educational thread I shall depict my 18 spoke using a piece of fruit. Maybe if I ate more in the last few days I wouldn’t be in such a predicamento

Brendan Bendar

Uhmmmm………….keep an eye on that…… fcuker looks a bit abused.

NewbridgeIR

This court report from today's Irish Times

Urination

Defecation

Swearing on the graves of relatives

blade1

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121768007#Comment_121768007

Which one of the Connors was that?

Was it Pa, Pa or Pa?

NewbridgeIR

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121768035#Comment_121768035

Haha

James!

blade1

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121768043#Comment_121768043

Ah, that would be Pa's James! 😁

Baba Yaga

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121768063#Comment_121768063

must be james shite in the park related to the other lad shite in a bucket...

Hotblack Desiato

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121768007#Comment_121768007

Sounds like quite the catch.

In other news, the mrs and I shared a massive Chinese takeaway earlier and a bottle of Cremant, I'm now in the oval office about to take a seat at the president's desk, while finishing off the Cremant. Doesn't get more romantic than that really

Bobson Dugnutt

Will you be sticking on a bit of Barry Manilow on the smart speaker and getting down for some love making later?

Montage of Feck

Jesus lads, ye need more fibre in your diets!

You the man

A bevy of otters about to disembark the riverbank Hotblack?

EmmetSpiceland

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121768739#Comment_121768739

Good to have you back, HD.

Hotblack Desiato

It was a case of mistaken identity!

Brendan Bendar

jeez .. just atter pumping two full cheeks of arse muck into the 'downstairs' -real scutthery drittle.

Had to cancel the golf, blaming the jumbo bag of Bombay Mix and a feed of St Omer

Have a pair of Tesco lounge strides on and the fcukers are butthered already.

Not a good outlook.

Liverpool win Sunderland loss didn't help either.

blade1

I'm on the opposite side of the spectrum at the moment.

I had a virus and a chest infection for over a week and was on a few different meds.

Not sure if it's the meds or the virus but my dumps have taken a serious turn for the worse.

With the last 5 days each dump consists of 3 or 4 releases each one containing 10 to 15 pellets.

On the plus side toilet paper usage is almost at 0.

Even picked up this a few days ago but as of now no change.

Bobson Dugnutt

I don’t drink wine very often, but does anyone find that even a few sips of it has them goose stepping to the nearest privy to flush the pipes? It’s like the most effective laxative know to mankind for me. Haven’t a quarter of the glass drank and I feel everything starting to loosen, 2 minute countdown to disaster scenario.

https://www.popularmechanics.com/flight/airlines/a45038480/delta-diarrhea-plane-what-happened/

Any of the posters here on board that plane?

Looks like a dose of cholera except for the colour. Pax would have needed to be placed on a cholera bed as below.

dulpit

Reminds me of this story:

https://www.vice.com/en/article/gq8zdb/someone-did-a-****-so-bad-a-british-airways-flight-had-to-turn-around-and-land-475

barneygumble99

https://youtu.be/O_33YgkoLaE?feature=shared

apologies if posted before

easygoing39

@ barney,that should read"apologies for posting this!!"

Grouptherapy

I was in Deutschland recently on important business. Has anyone encountered the toilets there where you're effectively logging out on a shelf??

First time I wasn't even sure which direction to sit! Skids marks like a Clondalkin roundabout. On the plus side - no danger of Neptune's kiss.

Picture below from d'internet but more or less identical.