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What's the etiquette here??

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    #9632
    Bobson Dugnutt
    Registered Users Posts: 1,665 ✭✭✭Bobson Dugnutt


    Golf Ireland rates available, Brendan. Makes things more affordable.
    Maybe give them a buzz and tell them you are the President of the Dublin Taxi Driver Pitch and Putt and Pigeon Racing Club for 2024 and see if they can do you a special price.



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    #9633
    Bobson Dugnutt
    Registered Users Posts: 1,665 ✭✭✭Bobson Dugnutt


    IMG_1706.jpeg

    State of this fücking thing. Fancy spot as well. Combines the worst of the Northern European and Mediterranean toilet designs. Say what you like about the Brits, but the lads in Armitage Shanks knew how to design a toilet to get rid of the heftiest shïte a pintman could lodge in it.



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    #9634
    CorneliusBrown
    Registered Users Posts: 71 ✭✭CorneliusBrown


    I may have done the tiling there. Dead serious. Lot of families around the city have me doing those tiles. On the toilet, I’ve a generous sized arse (wife calls me the snowman when I strip off) and I’d like to sit on that. I often find my arse is creeping over the sides of regular toilets like a damp heavy sponge perched on an egg cup. Do you have me? Did you sit on her?



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    #9635
    Brendan Bendar
    Registered Users Posts: 19,399 ✭✭✭✭Brendan Bendar


    Filthy kerntt



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    #9636
    Grouptherapy
    Registered Users Posts: 117 ✭✭Grouptherapy


    https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122228574#Comment_122228574

    Could be the photo angle - but looks like the seat is off centre. Wouldn't take much to block that yoke. Bonus points for being clean with decent looking 2-ply though.



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    #9637
    Brendan Bendar
    Registered Users Posts: 19,399 ✭✭✭✭Brendan Bendar


    https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122228574#Comment_122228574

    Could spray a generous gout of arse muck into that bad boy for sure.

    Would prefer if the pot was Landscape though iso Portrait…take care of rimshots and stuff.

    Most of the fizz goes sideways from the muzzle I'm told.



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    #9638
    Baba Yaga
    Registered Users Posts: 525 ✭✭✭Baba Yaga


    https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122228574#Comment_122228574

    looks well enough appointed,be quite happy to take a relaxing dump on that…


    "They gave me an impossible task,one which they said I wouldnt return from...."

    ps wheres my free,fancy rte flip-flops...?



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    #9639
    Bobson Dugnutt
    Registered Users Posts: 1,665 ✭✭✭Bobson Dugnutt


    https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122231665#Comment_122231665

    Be ok if it was just a standard porridge for breakfast and plenty of vegetables sort of shït. If you’ve drank half a keg of stout over the preceding 4 days with the fried breakfast the next morning then it’s just not suitable. At all.



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    #9640
    Slideways
    Registered Users Posts: 2,010 ✭✭✭Slideways


    https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122232417#Comment_122232417

    Well Bob you sound like you could do with some leafy greens in your diet.

    Maybe start by eating that sprig of parsley that comes out on the belly buster fry and go on from there



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    #9641
    Brendan Bendar
    Registered Users Posts: 19,399 ✭✭✭✭Brendan Bendar


    https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122232944#Comment_122232944

    Two chances they’re S…. Fcukker is on a diet of carvery’s and warm stout.

    He has Mr Big an Tall down in Goatstown on speed dial.

    As Christopher said in The Sopranos ‘ Go fchuk yerself you fchukking parade float.



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    #9642
    CorneliusBrown
    Registered Users Posts: 71 ✭✭CorneliusBrown


    I know I’m new to the community lads but have ye thought about a meetup?

    Dropped a scutterly load of rock-hard, ebony-coloured globules into the pot there. Bit light headed afterwards like a hare after a plate of cat food and a dose of ketamine. Asked the wife to take a peek but she wasn’t having it.



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    #9643
    Brendan Bendar
    Registered Users Posts: 19,399 ✭✭✭✭Brendan Bendar


    https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122234383#Comment_122234383

    You have promise Con, lads here wouldn’t be ready for any meet-up..

    There was one tried in 2023 but three of the 5 attendees blew sludge in the back seat of a taxi to Portobello on the way home.

    Took a ‘Go a go fund me’ campaign to take care of the damage.



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    #9644
    Hotblack Desiato
    Registered Users Posts: 34,648 ✭✭✭✭Hotblack Desiato


    https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122219563#Comment_122219563

    The medical profession will claim that anything between twice a day and twice a week is "normal" but I certainly would not like to be living at either of those extremes.

    A nice slippery well lubricated one on a 24h basis does the job, more clean up but is ultimately less stressful on the colon and hoop.

    Fingal County Council are certainly not competent to be making decisions about the most important piece of infrastructure on the island. They need to stick to badly designed cycle lanes and deciding on whether Mrs Murphy can have her kitchen extension.



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    #9645
    Hotblack Desiato
    Registered Users Posts: 34,648 ✭✭✭✭Hotblack Desiato


    https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122219636#Comment_122219636

    Good jaysus.

    How am I going to raise such a delicate question with my wife of almost twenty years?

    Fingal County Council are certainly not competent to be making decisions about the most important piece of infrastructure on the island. They need to stick to badly designed cycle lanes and deciding on whether Mrs Murphy can have her kitchen extension.



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    #9646
    Hotblack Desiato
    Registered Users Posts: 34,648 ✭✭✭✭Hotblack Desiato


    https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122222954#Comment_122222954

    That's something I've had cause to worry about while visting some of our larger county towns, B.

    Where do they buy their jocks?

    I've spent many a pleasant week in Clifden for instance, but there's nowhere that sells pants. There's an Aldi and a Lidl but their keks are not the best, and obviously cannot be relied upon in a crisis, as they're only available on rare occasions.

    Having to navigate the N59 all the way into Galway city in desperate search for emergency kaks does not bear thinking about tbh.

    Fingal County Council are certainly not competent to be making decisions about the most important piece of infrastructure on the island. They need to stick to badly designed cycle lanes and deciding on whether Mrs Murphy can have her kitchen extension.



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    #9647
    Hotblack Desiato
    Registered Users Posts: 34,648 ✭✭✭✭Hotblack Desiato


    https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122234383#Comment_122234383

    Asked the wife to have a look at it?

    Freak.

    Fingal County Council are certainly not competent to be making decisions about the most important piece of infrastructure on the island. They need to stick to badly designed cycle lanes and deciding on whether Mrs Murphy can have her kitchen extension.



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    #9648
    padd b1975
    Registered Users Posts: 10,742 ✭✭✭✭padd b1975


    https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122229350#Comment_122229350

    Everything but net.



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    #9649
    Murt2024
    Registered Users Posts: 150 ✭✭Murt2024


    got some of That kitten soft 12 pack toilet paper in supervalue for 4 euro on special offer. Usually just buy the cheapest bog roll available, it’s amazing, super smooth and cleans more effectively. Will never go back to a generic brand again tearing my arse hole again and takeing ages to wipe. It’s actually a luxury.

    the thickness of it and comfort from wiping and the clean up job is quite frankly amazing.



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    #9650
    Hotblack Desiato
    Registered Users Posts: 34,648 ✭✭✭✭Hotblack Desiato


    It's too important to be skimped on, Murt.

    Fingal County Council are certainly not competent to be making decisions about the most important piece of infrastructure on the island. They need to stick to badly designed cycle lanes and deciding on whether Mrs Murphy can have her kitchen extension.



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    #9651
    Murt2024
    Registered Users Posts: 150 ✭✭Murt2024


    https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122237074#Comment_122237074

    It really is, not sure how I never gave myself that luxury. Can't wait for my next scutter!

    I'm like a man who tasted Steak for the first time!



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    #9652
    You the man
    Registered Users Posts: 111 ✭✭You the man


    Easy on the quantity being used. You don't want to be getting the poker out to agitate the rising tide in the pot ...

    Trust me...



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    #9653
    Hotblack Desiato
    Registered Users Posts: 34,648 ✭✭✭✭Hotblack Desiato


    That feeling of terror as the scuttery yellow water just keeps rising and rising… not pleasant.

    Although I am told that if the correct cistern and pot combination are used, the latter will accept one full flush without overflowing - just.

    I've had it rise to an alarming level on occasion and then a massive sucking noise followed by the detritus heading towards Ringsend at express speed.

    Fingal County Council are certainly not competent to be making decisions about the most important piece of infrastructure on the island. They need to stick to badly designed cycle lanes and deciding on whether Mrs Murphy can have her kitchen extension.



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    #9654
    DialecticAspirations
    Registered Users Posts: 59 ✭✭DialecticAspirations


    Word to the wise - make sure you get adequate fibre in your diet.

    Recently I've neglected this and things have gone so far as to even affect the nocturnal activities of myself and my dear wife.

    It was the first time (in a long while) that I've accidently left a Cleveland Steamer on her, and she was none too pleased to say the least…



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    #9655
    Lewis_Benson
    Registered Users Posts: 1,975 ✭✭✭Lewis_Benson


    Poor woman



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    #9656
    EmmetSpiceland
    Registered Users Posts: 10,720 ✭✭✭✭EmmetSpiceland


    https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122238170#Comment_122238170

    Dragging down the tone of a respected and, indeed, esteemed thread.

    “It is not blood that makes you Irish but a willingness to be part of the Irish nation” - Thomas Davis



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    #9657
    blade1
    Registered Users Posts: 12,307 ✭✭✭✭blade1


    This lad belongs here.

    FB_IMG_1717952654339.jpg



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    #9658
    Lewis_Benson
    Registered Users Posts: 1,975 ✭✭✭Lewis_Benson


    https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122238361#Comment_122238361

    You Mean "E-steamed"



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    #9659
    Grouptherapy
    Registered Users Posts: 117 ✭✭Grouptherapy


    https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122238002#Comment_122238002

    Just looked that up. Ah here.



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    #9660
    Bobson Dugnutt
    Registered Users Posts: 1,665 ✭✭✭Bobson Dugnutt


    Food for thought.

    IMG_1750.jpeg



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    #9661
    Baba Yaga
    Registered Users Posts: 525 ✭✭✭Baba Yaga


    had the post-breakfast dump awhile ago up in the 10th floor shitters,5 stalls,all empty,its a sort of chill out area for staff so its usually quiet up there mid-morning and to my delight it was,anywho i was contemplating life in general while in position and a thought occured…im up on the 10th floor,the connection to the main sewer is in the basement carpark so thats 11 floors in total from arse to mains with a sharp bend several feet before the mains,was just thinking…how fast would the turd be travelling before impact with the side wall of the mains?normal size round,about the size of the old ruc baton rounds,reasonably solid…


    "They gave me an impossible task,one which they said I wouldnt return from...."

    ps wheres my free,fancy rte flip-flops...?



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