What's the etiquette here??

Baba Yaga

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122819284#Comment_122819284

oh god aye…well remember trying to kick-start the one i had into life if the timing was a wee bit off,when it did finally start the backfires and farts out of it were great! (jabus,hope my own ignition timing isnt gone off?)

walking across the reception yesterday morning,was grand and quiet,the battle-axe receptionist was on,let one off,twas like louis armstrong hitting one of those long,high notes…

Utter Consternation

A minor work irritant, but one i think i may need to discuss with my union representative in work, the jacks are fcuking freezing since the turn in the weather. Cheap cnuts in work must have turned off the heat in the sh1tters.

Have to wear me fcuking coat in when i'm going in to take a dump. Very disconcerting trying to catch up on my social media apps dressed up like fcuking Scott of the Antarctic, whilst taking a scalding sh1te.

JIdontknow

You could hover your hands over the bowl after you make your drop off to heat your hands up a bit before going back to work. Can be good heat off a sh1ite like a lump of turf, just like holding your hands over the fire.

Utter Consternation

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122837787#Comment_122837787

Jesus Christ, i'm not a fcuking animal.

Brendan Bendar

Opportunity missed as the Shinners might say!!

Next time you are in the Supermarket …. Veggie area ,,,, small plastic bag for the loose veggies .ok.?

Position yourself over over the pot at work …two hands holding the bag over the muzzle.

Discharge the first round into the bag….. remove and use the load as a hand warmer while the ‘peleton’ usually a bit loose, follows through.

Bit drastic yes, but needs must …… eeeeh

JIdontknow

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122838053#Comment_122838053

Not a fan of the "Hillbilly Handwarmer" as Brendan mentions then?

Baba Yaga

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122837639#Comment_122837639

definitly go to your union rep,hr too! surely in this day and age in the 21st century tis a basic right to have a dump in comfort in the work place! could near stand in the election on that point alone…

Hotblack Desiato

We could have a constitutional amendment on the matter, it'd make more sense than some which have been proposed. #Right2Dump

Lewis_Benson

Since the news that Donald Trump has been elected, my movements have been very unstable, going from being badly bound up to spraying a full on muckspreader into the porcelain.

The future is not bright.

Hotblack Desiato

Happy World Toilet Day! 🚽🎉🎈✨

It's also International Men's Day, not sure how coincidental that is…

Baba Yaga

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122858036#Comment_122858036

didnt know it was world toilet day or mens day but id a very leisurely,comfortable dump in the top floor "quiet space" jacks earlier,so yeah happy toilet day and international mens day! 😎

Brendan Bendar

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122858036#Comment_122858036

Yes, I blew out a solid fletch of well marbled midden shortly after daybreak this am in celebration.

She looked like a shirehorses hoof sitting there, a fitting tribute, may I say, to the day in question.

Left her in situ to marinade.

spacetweek

TG for MacDonalds Kylemore, once again winning an award from me for providing a much-needed public service.
Getting the Luas red line in from Tallaght, I realised only a few minutes into the journey I’d made a big mistake rushing out the door to work instead of taking the time to clean out my pipework. A few mini farts heralded the beginning of increasing pressure down below.

Hastily making an exit at Kylemore I impatiently waited to get across the road before powerwalking to the door of McDonald’s dodging cars headed for the drive-thru. Inside there were no security staff to make sure you were going to buy something and the toilets were gloriously empty, warm and clean. I gratefully cleared out my closet in time to the Muzak.

It wasn’t all good news though. No toilet paper in either cubicle although one of them had a wet roll on the floor which I assume had been dunked briefly in the bowl as if it was a teabag, and deposited on the floor. Pocket tissues ahoy.

Slideways

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122864406#Comment_122864406

A McShït to go

Lucky you had the tissues to hand or you may have been a day in the office with only 1 sock on. I was that soldier once, decided to ditch the other sock and just roll with it. It would have been an orphan sock anyway.

barneygumble99

😎😎

Hoop66

Reminds me of my dad's favourite joke:

Why are turds tapered at one end?

So your arse doesn't shut with a bang.

EmmetSpiceland

Henry McKean, from Newstalk, reckons Bewleys on Grafton St, Dublin, has the best toilets.

They’re talking about how long people spend in the jacks on Moncrieff now. Talking Japanese toilets too.

Getting a lot of audience “engagement”, as you’d expect for such a topic.

Hotblack Desiato

Newstalk talk shît every day, just usually not literally

Baba Yaga

learnt a new word today…enshitification…the enshitification of newstalk is truly shite..

Lewis_Benson

Thos video is very relatable to this thread.

Sgt Ducky is a great man for the laughs.

https://youtu.be/nXCKABBwCpw?si=co_ft3Jm7OZmZoBI

FCTwenteBenson

No movements in this thread in nearly 2 weeks, lads must have severe cases of constipation going on

tgdaly

The calm before the Xmas storm I'm sure.

Be plenty of lads on this thread digesting copious amounts of Brussel sprouts, Guinness straight from the can, and 3 day old turkey leftovers during the holidays. The 42 inch chinos will be struggling to hold it all in.

The resulting fallouts would blow the side off a horse trailor

Brendan Bendar

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122945957#Comment_122945957

Pity they wouldn’t “hold it all in” Tee.

Discharged a thick viscous slipper of midden like wet mortar into the pot this am.

Completed the ‘repair’ to ground zero and was casually ‘pulling up’ all layers when the I-phone leapt out of the pocket and landed up to side buttons in the load in the pot.

Pulled her out by the toes so to speak…..still working thank God, but was a bit shaken by the incident.

spacetweek

Good God. Steve Jobs will be rolling in his grave.

Slideways

I brought a Tupperware pot to work with leftover pumpkin, green beans, sprouts and broccolini. Trying to be healthy like..

Somewhere along the 1.5hr flight and bus journeys I fear my frightfully healthy lunch became slightly toxic.

I wolfed that bad boy down but two hours later there was some ominous rumblings and I have been crop dusting the most wojus and clingy farts in years. You could pin the tail of a donkey to them. On the bus ride back from work if I had let the building pressure release I would have surely been reported to the ICC

cj maxx

I left a tuŕd in the loo 3 days ago . Ìt only flushed today.

Brendan Bendar

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122947962#Comment_122947962

You are the kind of dude who will get on well here, cj …

Baba Yaga

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122947962#Comment_122947962

that was well marinated!

JIdontknow

Like a ribeye steak, well "marbled" I would say.

RMAOK

Long time reader, first time poster on this noteworthy thread.

Was organising a family event last weekend and the stress was building. Herself said to get ready to go to the function, so naturally, the first port of call was the facilities. Proceeded to "empty the tank" and left, what can only be described as a type 6 on the Bristol stool scale in the bowl. Flushed the evidence, but the odour lingered despite using large quantities of deodorant and an open window to cover up the odour.

Herself was none too pleased when she went to use the facilities to apply some make-up afterwards. Was in the doghouse for a number of hours afterwards, but, as the saying goes, "a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do".....