What's the etiquette here??

Obrieski

Utter Consternation wrote: »

Best of luck Obrieski. Hopefully you don't emit a thunderous fart as you're just getting to the business end of things.

Antidote to the horn for even the most discerning conquest.

Thanks UC - can gladly report all went well and the posterior behaved itself.

Must have been under pressure as after the deed was complete and the exit stage left had occurred, a few rebel rousing farts helped me on my way up the road as I strolled home

AndrewJRenko

Hotblack Desiato wrote: »

On a kinda-related note, someone is going around Dublin city centre putting full-colour stickers of a caucasian anus onto lampposts.

It's not the "Art of Lost" fella by any chance? Though he usually does drawings more than photos.

Former Observer

I've a dagger shaped piece of chite stabbing at my underwear all day. Tough little nugget. Won't break down against the cloth. Meeting after meeting, no time to swipe. Powerpoint presentation next.

EmmetSpiceland

AndrewJRenko wrote: »

It's not the "Art of Lost" fella by any chance? Though he usually does drawings more than photos.

Those “Lost” stickers are great.

Asbestos is the artist behind them, don’t know if he’s behind the “behind” ones though.

Pintman Paddy Losty

This thread is becoming quite burdensome and challenging to wade through the scutter being posted by some of the contributors here. I've developed a tiering system in order to help the casual observer to determine which posts are worthy of consideration and which can be ignored and disregarded.

The model is based on a complex system of bayesian inference, machine learning, heuristics, language processing and good old intuition.

Tier 1
Pintman Paddy Losty

Tier 2
-Vacant-

Tier 3
JohnnyFlash, Utter Consternation, dib, Ush1

Tier 4
gerrybbadd, Brendan Bendar, EmmetSpiceLand, Roger Hassenforder

Tier 5
partyguinness, Boom_bap, Doctor Room Ghost

Tier 6
-vacant-

Tier 7
Hector Savage

If your name does not appear on the list you just weren't significant to even consider inclusion.

I will continue to feed the data from this thread in to my complex mathematical model and should the standards improve you may move up the tiers. This should be an incentive to you all to improve your output.

Thanks,

PPL

Deebles McBeebles

****e thread anyway.

Boom_Bap

Tier 5 is where the party is at

JohnnyFlash

Pintman Paddy Losty wrote: »

This thread is becoming quite burdensome and challenging to wade through the scutter being posted by some of the contributors here. I've developed a tiering system in order to help the casual observer to determine which posts are worthy of consideration and which can be ignored and disregarded.

The model is based on a complex system of bayesian inference, machine learning, heuristics, language processing and good old intuition.

Tier 1
Pintman Paddy Losty

Tier 2
-Vacant-

Tier 3
JohnnyFlash, Utter Consternation, dib, Ush1

Tier 4
gerrybbadd, Brendan Bendar, EmmetSpiceLand, Roger Hassenforder

Tier 5
partyguinness, Boom_bap, Doctor Room Ghost

Tier 6
-vacant-

Tier 7
Hector Savage

If your name does not appear on the list you just weren't significant to even consider inclusion.

I will continue to feed the data from this thread in to my complex mathematical model and should the standards improve you may move up the tiers. This should be an incentive to you all to improve your output.

Thanks,

PPL

You on the lash already, pal? Talking complete and utter tarmac.

gerrybbadd

A Tier 4 guy? Jaysus. I always considered myself a Trap 1 guy

Boom_Bap

JohnnyFlash wrote: »

You on the lash already, pal? Talking complete and utter tarmac.

This thread is all about laying tarmac.

Bobblehats

Boom_Bap wrote: »

Tier 5 is where the party is at

Chite party the goth in me wants to strike out from its repressed existence. These guttural rumblings from the depths that cannot be stifled no more.... something moody and lurking, a dark shadow that goes under the radar only to emerge into a rapturous watery ovation with its big breakthrough chit and it’s splosh!!!

Impact. Reverberations, all across the industry debris strewn all across these brown waters.... I’ll leave whatever hardcore survivalist to pick the pine nuts out of that.

JohnnyFlash

JohnnyFlash wrote: »

You on the lash already, pal? Talking complete and utter tarmac.

That will throw them off the scent.

Pintman Paddy Losty

JohnnyFlash wrote: »

You on the lash already, pal? Talking complete and utter tarmac.

Very lucid and coherent today Jonathan. No lip on me at all today as I had a container load of porter at the weekend at my nieces wedding. Whilst the bride herself looked like a bag of cattle feed filled with turf a few of the bridesmaids were looking lovely and caught my eye. Had the ball and chain in tow obviously so had to keep the wandering eye in check.

Arse is not in great condition today. Very soft and sticky product being produced. Like a wet dark rye bread dough. Sludging out my arse on a more frequent than normal basis. Sticking to my cheeks. Doesn't help that I'm fairly hirsute and have a tendency to collect debris in that area. No shower here at work and things have got fairly bio diverse down there. Big build up of flora and fauna. The jocks will be thrown over the back wall when I get home.

Pintman Paddy Losty

[Deleted User] wrote: »

That will throw them off the scent.

Think you need to lay off the jazz fags, pal. Making you paranoid.

Hotblack Desiato

AndrewJRenko wrote: »

It's not the "Art of Lost" fella by any chance? Though he usually does drawings more than photos.

There is no writing on them. Just a sticker 3cm in diameter with a full colour close up of an anus.

EmmetSpiceland

Hotblack Desiato wrote: »

There is no writing on them. Just a sticker 3cm in diameter with a full colour close up of an anus.

And you’re certain it’s an anus, presumably human, and not just an asterisk?

JaimeLannister

SirGerryAdams wrote: »

They should have to play music or something in the jacks. I often need to blast **** and fart out but I always wait until someone else flushes the toilet or the urinals flush. Then all hell breaks loose and I apply as much thrust as I can to get the scour/fart concoction scuttering out the shítchute. There's a limited window of opportunity so it's not enough to just let the pressure build up relieve naturally, you gotta squeeze like you're stepping on a balloon.

The real MVP in these situations is the bloke who stands at the hand-dryer for 20 odd seconds! Great opportunity to rain hellfire down on the bowl knowing any sounds will be drowned out and no judgement will be passed

Former Observer

gerrybbadd wrote: »

A Tier 4 guy? Jaysus. I always considered myself a Trap 1 guy

Wouldn't worry about it. Judging from who placed first I'd say it's an estrogen dominant chart. Willing to bet 50 quid that paddy's nipples lactate when he's pulling his pebble.

Pintman Paddy Losty

Former Observer wrote: »

Wouldn't worry about it. Judging from who placed first I'd say it's an estrogen dominant chart. Willing to bet 50 quid that paddy's nipples lactate when he's pulling his pebble.

A petty and vindictive jibe from a complete non-entity.

Hector Savage

Pintman Paddy Losty wrote: »

Very lucid and coherent today Jonathan. No lip on me at all today as I had a container load of porter at the weekend at my nieces wedding. Whilst the bride herself looked like a bag of cattle feed filled with turf a few of the bridesmaids were looking lovely and caught my eye. Had the ball and chain in tow obviously so had to keep the wandering eye in check.

Arse is not in great condition today. Very soft and sticky product being produced. Like a wet dark rye bread dough. Sludging out my arse on a more frequent than normal basis. Sticking to my cheeks. Doesn't help that I'm fairly hirsute and have a tendency to collect debris in that area. No shower here at work and things have got fairly bio diverse down there. Big build up of flora and fauna. The jocks will be thrown over the back wall when I get home.

The poor neighbours Paddy!

Utter Consternation

Pintman Paddy Losty wrote: »

A petty and vindictive jibe from a complete non-entity.

You strike me as a man with a very sensitive disposition? Do you suffer from 'the nerves?'

padd b1975

EmmetSpiceland wrote: »

And you’re certain it’s an anus, presumably human, and not just an asterisk?

Lad is clearly seeing things.

It's obviously something to do with International Week of Japanese Culture.

JohnnyFlash

Utter Consternation wrote: »

You strike me as a man with a very sensitive disposition? Do you suffer from 'the nerves?'

Very irritable sort as well I’d imagine. Quick to anger.

Boom_Bap

Let me tell you about this morning. Clean as a whistle. Perfect score for that poop.

Deebles McBeebles

JohnnyFlash wrote: »

Very irritable sort as well I’d imagine. Quick to anger.

Could be a description of his hole too.

Pintman Paddy Losty

I see my objective and fair tiering system has upset some of the lesser contributors to this senate of debate.

All I can say is focus your efforts on improving your posting standards rather than taking narrow-minded and venemous jibes at your superior and you too can reach the lofty heights of tier 1.

"Intelligence arouses fear and respect, the lack of it keeps one on the narrow minded road of disrespect, stupidity and inferiority complex"

-Michael Basset Johnson

Hector Savage

Jaysus Tier 7.... pretty bad.

cj maxx

The OP should be grateful he’s not working with a Mexican. Because the plumbing is so inadequate in parts they throw the used toilet roll in the bin . Awful stench it leaves !!

EmmetSpiceland

Hector Savage wrote: »

Jaysus Tier 7.... pretty bad.

There is only one thing in life worse than being “tier rated”, H, and that is not being rated at all.

Brendan Bendar

Pintman Paddy Losty wrote: »

Very lucid and coherent today Jonathan. No lip on me at all today as I had a container load of porter at the weekend at my nieces wedding. Whilst the bride herself looked like a bag of cattle feed filled with turf a few of the bridesmaids were looking lovely and caught my eye. Had the ball and chain in tow obviously so had to keep the wandering eye in check.

Arse is not in great condition today. Very soft and sticky product being produced. Like a wet dark rye bread dough. Sludging out my arse on a more frequent than normal basis. Sticking to my cheeks. Doesn't help that I'm fairly hirsute and have a tendency to collect debris in that area. No shower here at work and things have got fairly bio diverse down there. Big build up of flora and fauna. The jocks will be thrown over the back wall when I get home.

Paddy, you need to think outside the box.

Now,no shower at work and some ‘dry filling’ in the hoop area?


Solution one.. electric kettle + saucepan*

Bring the fcukers in with you..boil up kettle to hot...decant into the saucepan and lodge it in the pewter pot.... it will sit nicely.

Cover the seat up unit with your arse and steam the ballsac, hoop area, and if required,the helmet for as long as you can.

Any drittle, dags, winnits, arse spiders will melt nicely and drip into the saucepan

Then apply good quality arse paper to the ‘damage footprint’ and good to go.

Simples.

* Saucepan may require a bit of a cleaning before returning to normal service.