What's the etiquette here??

DEFTLEFTHAND

Sitting on the sh1tter as I type this. Woke up close to five this morning with a pain in the gut and shove on the badge.

I'm very stressed at the moment, work issues.


I think this is impacting on my shoiting patterns.


No solids being layed. Just nervous watery scutter for the past few days.

Obrieski

DEFTLEFTHAND wrote: »

Sitting on the sh1tter as I type this. Woke up close to five this morning with a pain in the gut and shove on the badge.

I'm very stressed at the moment, work issues.


I think this is impacting on my shoiting patterns.


No solids being layed. Just nervous watery scutter for the past few days.

Bad news that DLH, when the job impacts normal life like this it's usually a foreboding sign, as the old gods say "The asre always knows" ... wishing you all the best in both your professional and private matters. The members of Boards will always help a fellow sh*tter in distress

DEFTLEFTHAND

Obrieski wrote: »

Bad news that DLH, when the job impacts normal life like this it's usually a foreboding sign, as the old gods say "The asre always knows" ... wishing you all the best in both your professional and private matters. The members of Boards will always help a fellow sh*tter in distress

Arse is red raw at the moment. Copious amounts of jacks paper used.

Sitting here now in the kitchen with a coffee and Pall Mall Red in hand.


Hands are trembling and the arse is quaking again. Fcking nerves and tobacco.

Bullocks

DEFTLEFTHAND wrote: »

Obrieski wrote: »

Bad news that DLH, when the job impacts normal life like this it's usually a foreboding sign, as the old gods say "The asre always knows" ... wishing you all the best in both your professional and private matters. The members of Boards will always help a fellow sh*tter in distress

Arse is red raw at the moment. Copious amounts of jacks paper used.

Sitting here now in the kitchen with a coffee and Pall Mall Red in hand.


Hands are trembling and the arse is quaking again. Fcking nerves and tobacco.

I'm a couple of years off the fags but I'd love one after mention of the red pall malls. Good strong smoke, maybe a bit nasty. Camel blue used to be fairly strong and not as hard on the body I found.
Throw a few bananas into you deft, might firm up the works

Obrieski

Quiet Monday morning here...was expecting a few tales after a heavy weekend that some men may have had.

Had a very heavy Saturday myself which was washed down last night with a 4n1 from a 'dodgy' local Chinese.
No overly volatile eruptions to report however, except for a few toxic gas emissions during the day.
A previous poster's advice to go with the 'crop dusting' technique was used to great effect

gerrybbadd

I'm still on the solid path. Was full sure after last night's Thai Red Curry with Turkey/Lime Meatballs & Coriander & Lime Rice, that i'd be unleashing all forms of hell today.

But no - 3 trips into the wheelhouse today, each more joyous than the last

JohnnyFlash

gerrybbadd wrote: »

I'm still on the solid path. Was full sure after last night's Thai Red Curry with Turkey/Lime Meatballs & Coriander & Lime Rice, that i'd be unleashing all forms of hell today.

But no - 3 trips into the wheelhouse today, each more joyous than the last

I’m telling you that Thai food is the finest. You’d be eating it thinking that it’s going to be hotter flowing out of you than it is is going into you, but no, everything tends to be perfect. You can’t say the same with Chinese or Indian food.

Pintman Paddy Losty

gerrybbadd wrote: »

I'm still on the solid path. Was full sure after last night's Thai Red Curry with Turkey/Lime Meatballs & Coriander & Lime Rice, that i'd be unleashing all forms of hell today.

But no - 3 trips into the wheelhouse today, each more joyous than the last

Not sure if three movements all by the early afternoon is necessarily a good thing gerry. A solid evacuation at 1030 should see a man through til the early evening.

gerrybbadd

Pintman Paddy Losty wrote: »

Not sure if three movements all by the early afternoon is necessarily a good thing gerry. A solid evacuation at 1030 should see a man through til the early evening.

Paddy - all torpedoes. I'll certainly take them over the runs any day.

Brendan Bendar

Pintman Paddy Losty wrote: »

Not sure if three movements all by the early afternoon is necessarily a good thing gerry. A solid evacuation at 1030 should see a man through til the early evening.

Have to agree there PPL, lodged a solid tube of floury khaki coloured midden into the pot circa 1045 hrs UTC.

Like a well struck four iron, just left a small ‘shallow divot’ after contact and hopped solidly at her target.

Muzzle a bit ‘stretched’ after the round was fired, but the ‘drawstring’ held up nicely, nice and springy, not perished and slack from pushing and pulling.

Regained her shape quanto rapido as Pancho might say after a two-layer Burrito in Mama Rosa’s.

JohnnyFlash

You strike me as a man who eats a lot of Mexican food, Brendan, especially if over Stateside.

fuerte1976

JohnnyFlash wrote: »

You strike me as a man who eats a lot of Mexican food, Brendan, especially if over Stateside.

And the 'ol paddies carcass' can't handle that foreign stuff like a native of where the nosh originally came from...

Brendan Bendar

JohnnyFlash wrote: »

You strike me as a man who eats a lot of Mexican food, Brendan, especially if over Stateside.

If you are ever in the Minneapolis , Bloomington area,near the airport, try Don Pablo’s for some good enchiladas, roast the hole off ya.

I was blowing boiled mince the next day.

Hector Savage

Brendan Bendar wrote: »

Have to agree there PPL, lodged a solid tube of floury khaki coloured midden into the pot circa 1045 hrs UTC.

Like a well struck four iron, just left a small ‘shallow divot’ after contact and hopped solidly at her target.

Muzzle a bit ‘stretched’ after the round was fired, but the ‘drawstring’ held up nicely, nice and springy, not perished and slack from pushing and pulling.

Regained her shape quanto rapido as Pancho might say after a two-layer Burrito in Mama Rosa’s.

Speaking of 1030 evacs, I just machine gunned the pewter in trap #1 here - and trap #2 was occupied - but as said before thankfully the cubicles here are separate sealed off rooms - no gap at the floor or ceiling nonsense.

Problem is when the other is occupied and at the washing hands stage if someone else comes in, they need to use the trap you were just in - and the stench - thats another disadvantage of sealed cubicles - the smell hangs around.

Obrieski

Hector Savage wrote: »

Speaking of 1030 evacs, I just machine gunned the pewter in trap #1 here - and trap #2 was occupied - but as said before thankfully the cubicles here are separate sealed off rooms - no gap at the floor or ceiling nonsense.

Problem is when the other is occupied and at the washing hands stage if someone else comes in, they need to use the trap you were just in - and the stench - thats another disadvantage of sealed cubicles - the smell hangs around.

Speaking of stench, proud moment for myself earlier. Unleashed a monster load in the early afternoon and the smell was something shocking. As I'm wiping up, I hear the bathroom door open and audibly head a gasp and a mumble of "fcking hell" before said person leaves without even taking care of his own business.

Waited a few moments before washing the hands and exiting stage left.
The works are in fine order it would seem

Woke Hogan

JohnnyFlash wrote: »

I’m telling you that Thai food is the finest. You’d be eating it thinking that it’s going to be hotter flowing out of you than it is is going into you, but no, everything tends to be perfect. You can’t say the same with Chinese or Indian food.

I could never poison myself with any of that ****e.

mfceiling

Woke Hogan wrote: »

I could never poison myself with any of that ****e.

Wow...Chinese, Indian and Thai cuisine just wiped out with that statement. Have you tried any of the aforementioned or you're happy to label them all as sh*te?
Spuds, gravy, carrots and a pork chop...Food of champions.

Woke Hogan

mfceiling wrote: »

Wow...Chinese, Indian and Thai cuisine just wiped out with that statement. Have you tried any of the aforementioned or you're happy to label them all as sh*te?
Spuds, gravy, carrots and a pork chop...Food of champions.

Ask the average China-man (or -woman) if pouring half a jar of sesame oil into a pan full of rice is authentic Chinese cuisine and they'd laugh their arses off at you.


They're about as close to real Chinese food as McDonald's is German.

tgdaly

Woke Hogan wrote: »

Ask the average China-man (or -woman) if pouring half a jar of sesame oil into a pan full of rice is authentic Chinese cuisine and they'd laugh their arses off at you.


They're about as close to real Chinese food as McDonald's is German.

Can't beat an aul McBratwurst

gerrybbadd

I'm genuinely pissed off now, and you'd imagine that some would understand etiquette by now.

I'm in trap 1, letting off a few scud missles, when an ape lands in beside me to trap 2. A dose of tutting and disapproving sighing didn't hurry them along.

Anyhow, it's a 2 trap facility. Another client lands in looking to use a trap. And just stands there. So i let off a few "warning shots" to startle him away. Seemed to have worked. 2 minutes later, he's back, tutting himself, no doubt with the turtles head staining the cloth of his jocks. Naturally, i let a tut myself in a show of solidarity, but not before firing off another loud warning shot, just to let them know who's boss.

Wouldn't mind, there's at least 10 other bathrooms in the building

Lil Sally Anne Jnr.

gerrybbadd wrote: »

I'm genuinely pissed off now, and you'd imagine that some would understand etiquette by now.

I'm in trap 1, letting off a few scud missles, when an ape lands in beside me to trap 2. A dose of tutting and disapproving sighing didn't hurry them along.

People are different, I always prefer to go into a cubicle where there is someone next to me. I'm very often in the central cubicle for that reason. Never occured to me that there could be a problem.

mfceiling

Woke Hogan wrote: »

Ask the average China-man (or -woman) if pouring half a jar of sesame oil into a pan full of rice is authentic Chinese cuisine and they'd laugh their arses off at you.


They're about as close to real Chinese food as McDonald's is German.

So I'll ask again...


Have you tried any authentic Indian, Chinese or Thai food? Not the sh*t in a tray you get from the "Golden Palace" or "Mr Chen".
When you have you can come back here and tell us that their entire food offerings are sh*te.

EmmetSpiceland

Lil Sally Anne Jnr. wrote: »

People are different, I always prefer to go into a cubicle where there is someone next to me. I'm very often in the central cubicle for that reason. Never occured to me that there could be a problem.

A “middle stalwart”, had one in my office for a year or two. It was extremely “disconcerting”, after having been forced into the middle stall, having to come face to face with this very odd “character” upon exiting.

He would, patiently, wait for as long as it took. Wouldn’t go for either of the other cubicles if they “freed” up.

You’d know he was still there by his burps and very loud “sniffing”.

JohnnyFlash

EmmetSpiceland wrote: »

A “middle stalwart”, had one in my office for a year or two. It was extremely “disconcerting”, after having been forced into the middle stall, having to come face to face with this very odd “character” upon exiting.

He would, patiently, wait for as long as it took. Wouldn’t go for either of the other cubicles if they “freed” up.

You’d know he was still there by his burps and very loud “sniffing”.

In a 3 cubicle scenario it’s completely weird to use the middle cubicle. Even if the other two are occupied you should try and wait a few minutes (outside, not hanging around like some weirdo waiting for a stall to become free). The only exception (and this is the subject or passionate debate) is if stall one or stall three have been left reeking of the outputs of a long weekend in Liverpool. Then you might be able to use the middle cubicle. It’s not an ideal scenario though.

Pintman Paddy Losty

Woke Hogan wrote: »

Ask the average China-man (or -woman) if pouring half a jar of sesame oil into a pan full of rice is authentic Chinese cuisine and they'd laugh their arses off at you.


They're about as close to real Chinese food as McDonald's is German.

Jesus you're a sour aul man. You sound bound up.

Woke Hogan

mfceiling wrote: »

So I'll ask again...


Have you tried any authentic Indian, Chinese or Thai food? Not the sh*t in a tray you get from the "Golden Palace" or "Mr Chen".
When you have you can come back here and tell us that their entire food offerings are sh*te.

I'm talking about the muck they serve in restaurants over here, the "four in ones" or whatever the **** it's called. I'm not talking about the food that's actually native to and eaten in India, China or Thailand.

Bobblehats

Now you’re talking. Always better when it’s native to a place instead of the disingenuous muck we tend to get!

JohnnyFlash

Woke Hogan wrote: »

I'm talking about the muck they serve in restaurants over here, the "four in ones" or whatever the **** it's called. I'm not talking about the food that's actually native to and eaten in India, China or Thailand.

You even have a doner kebab after a feed of pints, Hogan?

Woke Hogan

JohnnyFlash wrote: »

You even have a doner kebab after a feed of pints, Hogan?

Never. I haven't had takeaway food in decades. My daughter orders these deliveries all the time and I hate that the people who sling that disgusting slop know where we live.

Pintman Paddy Losty

Woke Hogan wrote: »

Never. I haven't had takeaway food in decades. My daughter orders these deliveries all the time and I hate that the people who sling that disgusting slop know where we live.

Worried that Ahmed is gonna call over and introduce himself to your wife?