What's the etiquette here??

sligojoek

EmmetSpiceland wrote: »

Couldn’t condone that sort of thing at all, P. Would certainly be grounds for a “case”, especially in this post #metoo world.

Can’t say I could call the outcome if the scumbags involved told a different story. Even if they didn’t I’m sure one of our, esteemed, judges would only give them a “slap” on the wrists.

I did hear a tale during my college days of a set of twins who, when one would bring a girl home, the other would get her for “round” two. Twin #1 would make an excuse to use the bathroom and in the hall Twin #2 would be waiting. A quick boxers swap and that would be that. Twin #1 would head off to bed.

Now, I only heard this “story”. I didn’t know the twins involved but I had very little reason to doubt the veracity as the person telling me wasn’t one to over-embellish things.

From what I was told, none of the girls involved in the fraternal “swap” were ever made aware that they’d been “done” twice.

They probably were "esteemed, judges".

EmmetSpiceland

padd b1975 wrote: »

Yes.

For a more sporting experience, the regular participant can introduce a stopwatch to the event in the style of the bucking bronco nights that may have been popular for a short time some years back.

“Bucking Bronco” is a very different “game” to what your boys were getting up to, P. Very different.

Calling your girl’s sister’s name and trying to hang on for as long as you can is, to some, a bit of “fun”. Personally, I think it’s a surefire way of ending the “activities” there and then.

There’s still a definite “grey area” about the withdrawal of consent but I’m not sure how long the average “Bronco” ride lasts.

The other “act” is fairly straight forward, in that there is no consent. Best avoid that one altogether. It’s for the best.

Slideways

Back on topic. Have been on anti-inflammatories and it’s blocked me right up.

Feel rather slow in the guts and fear there’s a major blockage in the guts...

Will give it another 24hours before I make for the syrup of figs

Slideways

Some utterly utterly base and obnoxious farts silently eeking out of the whale eye today, brown town might have a travelling bear passing through shortly

Tikki Wang Wang

Slideways wrote: »

Some utterly utterly base and obnoxious farts silently eeking out of the whale eye today, brown town might have a travelling bear passing through shortly

I’m eating my breakfast, Kate

JohnnyFlash

Slideways wrote: »

Some utterly utterly base and obnoxious farts silently eeking out of the whale eye today, brown town might have a travelling bear passing through shortly

What have you been eating? Lots of pork scratchings and those chicken ‘snitty’ things I’d imagine. Will be like passing a rolling pin when things finally get moving.

Slideways

I had a packet of these just the other night. Glorious things washed down with a Peroni

EmmetSpiceland

Can’t see them “washing out” as easily. Reckon you’ll be dealing with a load of turgid “gloop”.

Good luck with it, rather you than me.

padd b1975

JohnnyFlash wrote: »

What have you been eating? Lots of pork scratchings and those chicken ‘snitty’ things I’d imagine. Will be like passing a rolling pin when things finally get moving.

A rolling pin with several boxes of carpet tacks half nailed in.

That lad is either crazy brave or stupid.

EmmetSpiceland

padd b1975 wrote: »

A rolling pin with several boxes of carpet tacks half nailed in.

That lad is either crazy brave or stupid.

A quick glance at his posting “history” and you’ll see that he can only be the latter, P.

Still, he does try.

Lil Sally Anne Jnr.

Prawn vindaloo last night, with chips, rice, and two litres of geuze. Exceptionally hot. This wouldn't have been one of the fancier establishments where you'd have cubes of potatoes or other fibrous materials sitting in the mix, neither was it of the kind where you'd have a rich brown colour due to cumin or other dried spices. No coriander sitting on top either. Not even the pretence of quality. It was a deep tub of bright red liquid with orange froth the consistency of milk, with eight miniature prawns floating atop, like the ill fated French armada of 1796. Painfully hot liquid acid. We were watching Evita afterwards and I was folded up sideways on the couch. I can feel something now that I can only describe as a hot iron being placed and held on my anus lips. I may be feverish, but I can almost hear my balloon knot whimpering and whispering in pain to me. The omens are not good my friends, and I'm expecting a real storm.

fuerte1976

This just sounds catastrophic!

Lil Sally Anne Jnr. wrote: »

Prawn vindaloo last night, with chips, rice, and two litres of geuze. Exceptionally hot. This wouldn't have been one of the fancier establishments where you'd have cubes of potatoes or other fibrous materials sitting in the mix, neither was it of the kind where you'd have a rich brown colour due to cumin or other dried spices. No coriander sitting on top either. Not even the pretence of quality. It was a deep tub of bright red liquid with orange froth the consistency of milk, with eight miniature prawns floating atop, like the ill fated French armada of 1796. Painfully hot liquid acid. We were watching Evita afterwards and I was folded up sideways on the couch. I can feel something now that I can only describe as a hot iron being placed and held on my anus lips. I may be feverish, but I can almost hear my balloon knot whimpering and whispering in pain to me. The omens are not good my friends, and I'm expecting a real storm.

Brendan Bendar

Slideways wrote: »

I had a packet of these just the other night. Glorious things washed down with a Peroni

Check your fillings after a feed of those, nearly blew out a plate on those fcukers.

Upper deck couldnt take the hit , not to mention the rasper left wallowing in the bend flecked with diced turnip and potato skins.

Whiff off the fcuker nearly lifted the tiles off the wall.

Like pushing out a bag of broken slates.

JohnnyFlash

Brendan Bendar wrote: »

Check your fillings after a feed of those, nearly blew out a plate on those fcukers.

Upper deck couldnt take the hit , not to mention the rasper left wallowing in the bend flecked with diced turnip and potato skins.

Whiff off the fcuker nearly lifted the tiles off the wall.

Like pushing out a bag of broken slates.

Did you have to get a new set of delph down at the dentist?

Brendan Bendar

JohnnyFlash wrote: »

Did you have to get a new set of delph down at the dentist?

Just a half set John, there’s a fcuking warning on the bag about these kernts.

Might have swallowed a grinder though, she disintegrated after engaging a particularly robust bit of crackle, love the fcukers, always keep a ‘bench of subs’ washed and ready in case of.. erm.... disaster.

Never too far away with those fcukers top end and lower end.

Slideways

Progress report:

Despite the malodorous farts there has been little movement.
What I did strain out today resembled Cadbury’s Curlywurly squirlies. Lots of efforts for such little outcome. The sphincter must be tensed right up in fear of the fallout from the pork scratchings..

Hector Savage

Jaysus lads!!!

Lads lads lads!!!
I'm away for a few days and I come back to dick dick dick posts!
Christ! - way off track here! - but while we are touching on it, I agree with "The Horn" being the ONLY way to measure , whats the point otherwise, some flaccid small mickeys grow exponentially when "The Horn" is applied, other long swinging dicks only grow marginally.....

anyway, back on track ..
The other night ~ 3am, I woke up feeling the need to crap, I was seriously constipated though, just sat on the throne and nearly gave myself a brain aneurysm only to have a peanut or two drop out of the balloon knot.

Thankfully though by ~10am I dropped a nice nest of baby eels, it is funny though how the texture changed so much in the space of a few hours without eating or drinking anything...

Brendan Bendar

Currently getting the main shytter gutted lads.

Hopefully the back up can take the load, blew out a skein of dark green midden into the main pot for the last time this morning,loosened her up with good blast of piss and bang, last load out of that pot gone.


Saw a few hammers in her day.
“
Adieu adieu my trusty pot
You gobbled up the fcuking lot
Dispatched it safely,down the bend
To pipe it’s way, down to Ringsend “


Bit sad here.

Slideways

Brendan Bendar wrote: »

Currently getting the main shytter gutted lads.

Hopefully the back up can take the load, blew out a skein of dark green midden into the main pot for the last time this morning,loosened her up with good blast of piss and bang, last load out of that pot gone.


Saw a few hammers in her day.
“
Adieu adieu my trusty pot
You gobbled up the fcuking lot
Dispatched it safely,down the bend
To pipe it’s way, down to Ringsend “


Bit sad here.

It’s legacy will carry on through the eons

What brand have you gone with for it’s replacement?

Brendan Bendar

Slideways wrote: »

It’s legacy will carry on through the eons

What brand have you gone with for it’s replacement?

Now I don’t know, will be installed on Thur, it’s a full gut out job.

Will advise , I just specified comfort height,good wide solid throat, quiet closing.

Hopefully all will be good and the change will be worth it.

Slideways

A soft close seat? One of the ones that slowly lowers itself?

Can’t imagine that would be ideal if the first 2 inches were cold and you came in to the delivery suite to find you’d left the seat up and pissed all over the edge of the bowl when you got up with a semi at 3am

Hector Savage

I'd love to hear from the lad with the broken toilet, is he actually bringing in his shyte in a tupper to work ???
Thats the burning question here ....

Bullocks

Brendan Bendar wrote: »

Slideways wrote: »

It’s legacy will carry on through the eons

What brand have you gone with for it’s replacement?

Now I don’t know, will be installed on Thur, it’s a full gut out job.

Will advise , I just specified comfort height,good wide solid throat, quiet closing.

Hopefully all will be good and the change will be worth it.

I'm getting ready to move into a new place myself. I'm putting in a fully shrouded, back to wall toilet. Good lump of a yoke that won't shift under me no matter kinda manoeuvring I do.
I think most seats are soft close nowadays, I don't see the point and I'm sure my young fellas will still find a way to hop them noisily off the cistern

gerrybbadd

Jesus I nearly abandoned ship there after that chat the weekend.

I never thought i'd be as happy to see a return of literal Shyte talk.

At it hard over the weekend with the chicken lads. Saturday, consumed a 20 box of McDonalds new Spicy Chicken Nuggets, and 3 of their Chicken Selects. Grand.

No movement yesterday to report. However, the farts were wild and free, and smelled exactly the same as the nuggets did. Which was oddly satisfying, and a little worrying.

However, last night, i took to making a KFC Double down, which is basically a burger, but in place of the bun, it's 2 half chicken breast fillets, breaded, with a sriracha mayo, bacon and cheese.

So had one of those - glorious. And 2 half fillets of regular KFC style breaded chicken also. Zbigniew will be raging when i'm done in the jacks later

Deebles McBeebles

Hector Savage wrote: »

I'd love to hear from the lad with the broken toilet, is he actually bringing in his shyte in a tupper to work ???
Thats the burning question here ....

If I had to do that I'd be going with a dog sh*t bag and dropping it in a public bin on the way.

Deebles McBeebles

Brendan Bendar wrote: »

Currently getting the main shytter gutted lads.

Hopefully the back up can take the load, blew out a skein of dark green midden into the main pot for the last time this morning,loosened her up with good blast of piss and bang, last load out of that pot gone.


Saw a few hammers in her day.
“
Adieu adieu my trusty pot
You gobbled up the fcuking lot
Dispatched it safely,down the bend
To pipe it’s way, down to Ringsend “


Bit sad here.

Must have been some load, Brendan.
https://www.thejournal.ie/irish-water-ringsend-odour-4772128-Aug2019/

Brendan Bendar

Deebles McBeebles wrote: »

Must have been some load, Brendan.
https://www.thejournal.ie/irish-water-ringsend-odour-4772128-Aug2019/

Pretty hefty but lightly buttered.

The new shytter will be a fully shrouded unit as the lad said earlier.

Don’t like that description, to be honest, as if you are trying to hide something.

All good so far.

JohnnyFlash

Go for a Shanks or American Standard unit, Brendan. Stay well clear of any Italian or French made garderobe - tiny little throat on them, or even worse, the ledge. Don’t want to spend the rest of your dotage making toilet in a substandard shît closet.

padd b1975

Brendan Bendar wrote: »

Pretty hefty but lightly buttered.

The new shytter will be a fully shrouded unit as the lad said earlier.

Don’t like that description, to be honest, as if you are trying to hide something.

All good so far.

Not skimping on lumbar support, that's good.
I'd suggest a similar lack of frugality with extraction/ventilation.

Have you requested a bookshelf in the design spec?

A few Wilbur Smiths, Dean Koontz, various gentleman's periodicals and a compendium of Irishman's Diary (00's edition).

JohnnyFlash

padd b1975 wrote: »

Not skimping on lumbar support, that's good.
I'd suggest a similar lack of frugality with extraction/ventilation.

Have you specified a bookshelf in the design spec?

A few Wilbur Smiths, Dean Koontz, various gentleman's periodicals and a compendium of Irishman's Diary (00's edition).

Viz Annuals as well - especially the The Council Gritter from 2010, The Bear Trapper’s Hat from 2005, The Turtle’s Head from 98, and the seminal The Rusty Sherrif’s Badge from 92.