What's the etiquette here??

Lil Sally Anne Jnr.

I notice that that revolting congenital-failure who pushes turds down the sinkhole in Spain is looking for advice on preparing prawns for a dinner party. Sick world we live in.

Lil Sally Anne Jnr.

EmmetSpiceland wrote: »

The only time I feel truly at “peace” is when there’s a 24 roll pack under the stairs, 3 rolls in each bathroom, and a full tank of petrol in the car.

Andrex Emmet? Tesco Luxury Soft? I love a 24 spot myself.

Lil Sally Anne Jnr.

Lil Sally Anne Jnr. wrote: »

I notice that that revolting congenital-failure who pushes turds down the sinkhole in Spain is looking for advice on preparing prawns for a dinner party. Sick world we live in.

Tempted to ask on his thread if he got the plumber around to sort out his "problem".

Brendan Bendar

Lil Sally Anne Jnr. wrote: »

I notice that that revolting congenital-failure who pushes turds down the sinkhole in Spain is looking for advice on preparing prawns for a dinner party. Sick world we live in.

Who are we talking about here?

Deebles McBeebles

Lil Sally Anne Jnr. wrote: »

I notice that that revolting congenital-failure who pushes turds down the sinkhole in Spain is looking for advice on preparing prawns for a dinner party. Sick world we live in.

Probably putting them on little skewers and telling his guests to try them with his home-made gackamole.

I wonder if he used the same tupperware container in his meal prep, the dirt.

tgdaly

Lil Sally Anne Jnr. wrote: »

I notice that that revolting congenital-failure who pushes turds down the sinkhole in Spain is looking for advice on preparing prawns for a dinner party. Sick world we live in.

It gets worse, he was also considering serving them "muller rice" for dessert. God knows what he'd do to it

What's the etiquette if his throne is still out of order, would the guests have to use the one "potty" or will he provide individual ones for everyone? Will he mash everybody's turds down his putrid kitchen sink or will his esteemed guests have to bring their own "Tupperware" to bring their midden home to be disposed of there?
Important questions which need awnsers.

EmmetSpiceland

Gentlemen, and ladies, please. For better, or for worse, we are “turning” on one of our “own”.

That is not in the “spirit” of the thread. I would hope that posts of mine, or any of our “contributors”, from other threads will not be dragged in here only to mocked and my character pilloried.

Let us not forget why we are here.

EmmetSpiceland

EmmetSpiceland wrote: »

Gentlemen, and ladies, please. For better, or for worse, we are “turning” on one of our “own”.

That is not in the “spirit” of the thread. I would hope that posts of mine, or any of our “contributors”, from other threads will not be dragged in here only to mocked and my character pilloried.

Let us not forget why we are here.

In fairness Emmet, asking people round for seafood prepared in a kitchen that has been "abused" as described in this thread is a massive breach of all kinds of etiquette. It's only right and proper that such breaches of common decency are called out.

Brendan Bendar

EmmetSpiceland wrote: »

Gentlemen, and ladies, please. For better, or for worse, we are “turning” on one of our “own”.

That is not in the “spirit” of the thread. I would hope that posts of mine, or any of our “contributors”, from other threads will not be dragged in here only to mocked and my character pilloried.

Let us not forget why we are here.

Good call E.

Just sluicing a nicely marbled and ribbed batôn into the Stygian darkness of the S bend.

Would expect that the muzzle would just need a bit of a dab of a rosette of K-soft.

Yes, just some fine tracery and a small ‘splodge’ on one side.

Up with the jocks, strides, wash hands.....and aaaaaawaaaaay.

Portlawslim

I've been an avid follower of this thread from near the beginning and I have to say it's brought me an awful lot of enjoyment. It's something I feel that hasn't been spoken about and needed to be aired!
I salute you Johnny Flash as the OP! And the contributions from the rest of the posters has been a joy to behold.
The pure and unadulterated joy and satisfaction that can be had from a successful visit to the Water Closet is never to be underestimated, from the first stirrings of the bowel, the pre-emptive gaseous releases to the dropping of the trouser and the feeling of the seat gently cupping your hindquarters to the final push and evacuation of the bowel is a very special and not to be sullied experience. And to have it spoken about without the hindrance of social etiquette and PC nonsense is a wondrous thing.
Thank You.

I'm just wondering have any of you experienced what I refer to as the Ghoster , this phenomenon occurs when the length of your fecal masterpiece breaks the waterline before the sphincter has a chance to curtail its ambitions, the result is a near silent discharge and when you lean back to inspect your fecal offspring it is nowhere to be seen. Like an Alpha class submarine it submerges into the murky depths of the u-bend as silently as the flight of a Barn Owl. The only evidence of its passing maybe the slight smudge of the porcelain below the waterline and maybe a slight Poseidon's Kiss. I have mixed feelings about this as it is a rare occurrence which should be celebrated but you also never get to cast your eyes upon your fecal offspring.

Lil Sally Anne Jnr.

Portlawslim wrote: »

I have mixed feelings about this as it is a rare occurrence which should be celebrated but you also never get to cast your eyes upon your fecal offspring.

Most definitely Portlawslim. Very satisfactory awl ropes of chite they are too. A twist of the purse lips and they silently slide away to their watery grave.

Lil Sally Anne Jnr.

EmmetSpiceland wrote: »

That is not in the “spirit” of the thread. I would hope that posts of mine, or any of our “contributors”, from other threads will not be dragged in here only to mocked and my character pilloried.

You're a better man than I Emmet. The image of that individual messing around with spuds and pieces of fish in a sink full of last night's excrement turns my stomach. Then you've to think of him eating the bloody things, pulling away greasy miniature prawn legs and snapping off their little heads as bits of boiled brain and crustacean blood comingle with the dung, slime and half digested bits of cereal he's incubating beneath his nails.

But I'll say no more.

Brendan Bendar

Lil Sally Anne Jnr. wrote: »

You're a better man than I Emmet. The image of that individual messing around spuds and pieces of fish in a sink full of last night's excrement turns my stomach. Then you've to think of him eating the bloody things, pulling away greasy miniature prawn legs and snapping off their little heads as bits of boiled brain and crustacean blood comingle with the dung, slime and half digested bits of cereal he's incubating beneath his nails.

But I'll say no more.

Hmmmm... good thing I had the tea taken.

Pintman Paddy Losty

Lil Sally Anne Jnr. wrote: »

You're a better man than I Emmet. The image of that individual messing around spuds and pieces of fish in a sink full of last night's excrement turns my stomach. Then you've to think of him eating the bloody things, pulling away greasy miniature prawn legs and snapping off their little heads as bits of boiled brain and crustacean blood comingle with the dung, slime and half digested bits of cereal he's incubating beneath his nails.

But I'll say no more.

A vivid and disgusting image. That individual. What's his name? Andreas? Is a minger of the highest order.

Can only imagine what a dinner party there would be like. A pokey apartnent with no natural light and poor air flow. A heavy and undeniable fent of suspended fecal matter in the air. Extremely hot and humid.

Cooking up seafood which is well past its best. Festering in the Spanish heat with bluebottle buzzing around the place. Curious boxes of tupperware stacked up against the front door ready to bring to work the following day.

Not a nice place to dine. A biohazard of a home.

Pintman Paddy Losty

Brendan Bendar wrote: »

Hmmmm... good thing I had the tea taken.

What did you have Brendan? You strike me as a liver, onion, baked beans and oven chips man.

Deebles McBeebles

Lil Sally Anne Jnr. wrote: »

The image of that individual messing around with spuds and pieces of fish in a sink full of last night's excrement turns my stomach.

I wouldn't wash a dog in that sink. Wouldn't even wash Brendan's jocks in it.

Roger Hassenforder

[Deleted User] wrote: »

In fairness Emmet, asking people round for seafood prepared in a kitchen that has been "abused" as described in this thread is a massive breach of all kinds of etiquette. It's only right and proper that such breaches of common decency are called out.

I have to object, I cant remain silent any longer.

He came to our support group for help, a broken husk of a man, and we've turned on him, made an absolute (pardon the pun) shît of the man. It was s cry for help, we've turned a deaf ear to.

We either welcome all without casting judgement, and try to provide support where we can or we have failed in our moral obligation, and indeed our now relied upon function.


For shame on you all.
#JesuisMinger

Roger Hassenforder

Roger Hassenforder wrote: »

I have to object, I cant remain silent any longer.

He came to our support group for help, a broken husk of a man, and we've turned on him, made an absolute (pardon the pun) shît of the man. It was s cry for help, we've turned a deaf ear to.

We either welcome all without casting judgement, and try to provide support where we can or we have failed in our moral obligation, and indeed our now relied upon function.


For shame on you all.
#JesuisMinger

I respect your opinion Roger, but still disagree. He went too far. Flew too close to the sun etc. If I recall plenty of advice was offered but rejected.

EmmetSpiceland

[Deleted User] wrote: »

I respect your opinion Roger, but still disagree. He went too far. Flew too close to the sun etc. If I recall plenty of advice was offered but rejected.

Sound advice, it was, too.

Roger Hassenforder

[Deleted User] wrote: »

I respect your opinion Roger, but still disagree. He went too far. Flew too close to the sun etc. If I recall plenty of advice was offered but rejected.

He was forced by circumstances.
A modern day Icarus, ignorant as to what he was doing, but not too humble to seek help.

Its easy for you not having to shît in a kids potty beside your slumbering auld doll, or put turds into Tupperware, carry them on a bus in the blistering Spanish heat, and dispose of them at work, or worse, force them down a kitchen sink where children might be washing apples the next day. Its easy for you with a functioning porcelain A.Shanks, with a strong hydraulic head to carry your most repugnant stools of to an Irish Water facility.

There but for the grace of God go I stuff, an "I'm all right Jack".

I'm ashamed of you all.

gerrybbadd

I even invented the shït frisbee (patent pending) and he ignored it.

Happy to be stuffing king kongs finger down the kitchen sink with a dish cloth after having it sit all night beside the wife in a potty in the bedroom instead

Roger Hassenforder

gerrybbadd wrote: »

I even invented the shït frisbee (patent pending) and he ignored it.

Happy to be stuffing king kongs finger down the kitchen sink with a dish cloth after having it sit all night beside the wife in a potty in the bedroom instead

TBF Gerry, that was shît advice.
He'd need a mould, or have to either have it very soft to mould an aero shape, or freeze it, and sand it.

fuerte1976

A 'Ghosty' as Kevin Bridges so eloquently described it in one of his shows...

A fantastic submission by yourself may I add.

Portlawslim wrote: »

I've been an avid follower of this thread from near the beginning and I have to say it's brought me an awful lot of enjoyment. It's something I feel that hasn't been spoken about and needed to be aired!
I salute you Johnny Flash as the OP! And the contributions from the rest of the posters has been a joy to behold.
The pure and unadulterated joy and satisfaction that can be had from a successful visit to the Water Closet is never to be underestimated, from the first stirrings of the bowel, the pre-emptive gaseous releases to the dropping of the trouser and the feeling of the seat gently cupping your hindquarters to the final push and evacuation of the bowel is a very special and not to be sullied experience. And to have it spoken about without the hindrance of social etiquette and PC nonsense is a wondrous thing.
Thank You.

I'm just wondering have any of you experienced what I refer to as the Ghoster , this phenomenon occurs when the length of your fecal masterpiece breaks the waterline before the sphincter has a chance to curtail its ambitions, the result is a near silent discharge and when you lean back to inspect your fecal offspring it is nowhere to be seen. Like an Alpha class submarine it submerges into the murky depths of the u-bend as silently as the flight of a Barn Owl. The only evidence of its passing maybe the slight smudge of the porcelain below the waterline and maybe a slight Poseidon's Kiss. I have mixed feelings about this as it is a rare occurrence which should be celebrated but you also never get to cast your eyes upon your fecal offspring.

Pintman Paddy Losty

gerrybbadd wrote: »

I even invented the shït frisbee (patent pending) and he ignored it.

Happy to be stuffing king kongs finger down the kitchen sink with a dish cloth after having it sit all night beside the wife in a potty in the bedroom instead

Not sure whether "cross pollination" of threads is acceptable here. But your carry on in the crisp thread was nothing short of disgraceful. I'm not sure whether you're welcome here anymore gerry. Might need to take a vote. Not sure if I'm comfortable to have tayto crisp enthusiasts here being honest.

Roger Hassenforder

We've an application in for HSE funding for a mens health, resource and support group.
If we draw down funds, and be selective in who we offer support to, we're open to discriminatory litigation...

EmmetSpiceland

Roger Hassenforder wrote: »

TBF Gerry, that was shît advice.
He'd need a mould, or have to either have it very soft to mould an aero shape, or freeze it, and sand it.

Don’t think you’re seeing the “big picture” here, R.

While I agree shítting liquified, acrid, scuttle on to roller out cling film could prove troublesome but if the films was “draped” over the, out of action, toilet bowl it could then be “flattened out” and frozen before any, what I would consider unnecessary, work would be done to it.

Let’s not be too “hasty” before we dismiss these things.

Lil Sally Anne Jnr.

Was a solid idea to be fair. You'd fold over the cling film and just pat them down into warm little pancakes with a protective seal of polyvinyl chloride. Stack them in the freezer until you're ready to dispose. He was never flinging them out the window though, hence the whole idea of bringing them to work.

EmmetSpiceland

Lil Sally Anne Jnr. wrote: »

Was a solid idea to be fair. You'd fold over the cling film and just pat them down into warm little pancakes with a protective seal of polyvinyl chloride. Stack them in the freezer until you're ready to dispose. He was never flinging them out the window though, hence the whole idea of bringing them to work.

Personally, I don’t see the need to “bring them to work”.

Considering the “content” and the heat of the foreign country he could just leave them on top of a “shore” drain. They’d melt fairly quickly, albeit leaving a stinky mess behind.

Maybe they could be “slotted” in?

Lil Sally Anne Jnr.

There was no reason to bring them to work. Maybe he has underground parking and drives straight to the office in the morning, but you'd still find a way to slot the phucking things into a grate, or fuse box, or maintenance shaft or something.