What's the etiquette here??

gormdubhgorm

I dunno toilet etiquette is strange there seems to be unspoken cultural things in some countries.

I remember going on the internet discussing a breaking bad episode -

But some people's main worry about the episode was not about the intricacies of the plot.
It was how a person had the nerve to have a dump in a toilet that was not thier own. It was viewed as very impolite. I assume they were American's.


You would swear people were actually putting a bomb under the toilet.

Personally I think they should bring back the communal public latrines that the Roman's had so people could have a chat.

Aglomerado

gerrybbadd wrote: »

partyguinness wrote: »

All valid observations but I would query the need to sterilise a fire poker.

Like what else are planning on doing with it that would require sterilisation.

The gentle flame would also be beneficial in the quelling of any potential scents that may arise

It could cauterise the hole closed though....

knockers84

Anyone ever have one that it’s so condensed and thick that a chainsaw wouldn’t cut it in half. Me colon is in pain after it.

If I stood it upright you could use it as a pole for a fence.

padd b1975

knockers84 wrote: »

Anyone ever have one that it’s so condensed and thick that a chainsaw wouldn’t cut it in half. Me colon is in pain after it.

If I stood it upright you could use it as a pole for a fence.

Not enough soft fruit in the diet.

Peaches, white nectarines, plums.

NOT BANANAS.

Blowheads

https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=http://www.londonbabylon.co.uk/anal%2520fissure.pdf&ved=2ahUKEwiJr5mgwsTkAhXnUBUIHT_FAMcQFjALegQICRAB&usg=AOvVaw1AUB3dMXVIWUY9xOhp5_Rm

knockers84

padd b1975 wrote: »

Not enough soft fruit in the diet.

Peaches, white nectarines, plums.

NOT BANANAS.

Just bough a heap of fruit along with a few liters of orange juice.

Hopefully back to normal in a few days.

EmmetSpiceland

knockers84 wrote: »

Just bough a heap of fruit along with a few liters of orange juice.

Hopefully back to normal in a few days.

Whatever you do, do not add “tinned” pears into the mix. Always fresh. Always.

I usually eat two Weetabix most mornings for breakfast but bought some granola for a change. Big bowl of it this morning, tasty stuff indeed. The downside is the farts, mother of God. I've been playing the trumpet all day with no let up in sight. Long, violently loud raspers. A fent afterwards that would knock out a bull.
Back on the Weetabix tomorrow, granolas going in the bin

sligojoek

Ah lads. Breakfast is for wimps. I'm a coffee and fag man. Maybe a slice of toast and out the door. Eat and drink enough the evening before and there'll be enough weight there. Gravity does her job after that.

padd b1975

knockers84 wrote: »

Just bough a heap of fruit along with a few liters of orange juice.

Hopefully back to normal in a few days.

Give the orange juice a few days to develop a bit of spice and you'll be laughing.

In the meantime energy drinks are an excellent accelerant.

Lucozade Sport, blue Gatorade, Powerade etc etc

padd b1975

EmmetSpiceland wrote: »

Whatever you do, do not add “tinned” pears into the mix. Always fresh. Always.

Same goes for prunes.

Lad could end up partially ejecting some intestines.

Sharp MZ700

There's a concrete lorry after pulling in to the site across the road, it's drum swirling slowly and the chute protruding slightly out the back end. A heavy load not fully set just waiting to be spread over a large area.

Exactly how I feel myself, close on turtling here and the heat wafts around the place are something like you'd find in a Budapest bath. I hope I don't tear myself when my time comes.

Voodoomelon

Deleted User wrote: »

I usually eat two Weetabix most mornings for breakfast but bought some granola for a change. Big bowl of it this morning, tasty stuff indeed. The downside is the farts, mother of God. I've been playing the trumpet all day with no let up in sight. Long, violently loud raspers. A fent afterwards that would knock out a bull.
Back on the Weetabix tomorrow, granolas going in the bin

I'm in the same boat, picked up a nutty Granola from Lidl on the way home yesterday, had a bowl before bed. The bedroom was like a gas chamber this morning, all hands on deck to get the windows open. Then went out for 30min walk around the town, leaving a cloud of fent behind me. And they give out about diesels. I should have a €2350 tax disc on my arse.

Sharp MZ700

Just got rid of a chocolate log there have to say I'm not sorry to see the back of the bastard. Was half hoping for that elusive ghostie it had been baking so long, but I haven't nailed down the perfect criteria to expunge such the rare gem yet...
What I can proudly boast is it took two flushes and I had a wet shave straight away to savour the crisp notes lingering in the ensuite. Only then did I wonder would it have been acceptable to leave it in the bowl while I was having the shave or is that bordering on mild obsession? Be interested to hear some replies, one thing to note is the house is empty except for me, or would it matter if the family got to share the heavy fent too?

Utter Consternation

Sharp MZ700 wrote: »

Just got rid of a chocolate log there have to say I'm not sorry to see the back of the bastard. Was half hoping for that elusive ghostie it had been baking so long, but I haven't nailed down the perfect criteria to expunge such the rare gem yet...
What I can proudly boast is it took two flushes and I had a wet shave straight away to savour the crisp notes lingering in the ensuite. Only then did I wonder would it have been acceptable to leave it in the bowl while I was having the shave or is that bordering on mild obsession? Be interested to hear some replies, one thing to note is the house is empty except for me, or would it matter if the family got to share the heavy fent too?

To add my fifty cent, it's a deeply personal thing. It's not something i like sharing. I always feel like i'm over sharing if i subject my family to the over powering stench of my arse emissions.

Lil Sally Anne Jnr.

You should have left that brown baby boy in the bubble bath while you shaved Sharp. Hopefully you'll give birth again soon and you'll get another chance to draw in that powerful bowel odour as you chat to your new best friend.

gerrybbadd

Sharp MZ700 wrote: »

Just got rid of a chocolate log there have to say I'm not sorry to see the back of the bastard. Was half hoping for that elusive ghostie it had been baking so long, but I haven't nailed down the perfect criteria to expunge such the rare gem yet...
What I can proudly boast is it took two flushes and I had a wet shave straight away to savour the crisp notes lingering in the ensuite. Only then did I wonder would it have been acceptable to leave it in the bowl while I was having the shave or is that bordering on mild obsession? Be interested to hear some replies, one thing to note is the house is empty except for me, or would it matter if the family got to share the heavy fent too?

What were you shaving, the arse cheeks and hula hoop?

Utter Consternation

gerrybbadd wrote: »

What were you shaving, the arse cheeks and hula hoop?

Why would you want to shave your arse? Fcuking pointless exercise.

gerrybbadd

Utter Consternation wrote: »

Why would you want to shave your arse? Fcuking pointless exercise.

Aerodynamic qualities. Don't knock it until you've tried it UC. Lather up the cheeks, break out the Mac 5 or whatever the fúck these razors are called these days, and have at it. Can't say i'd reccomend slapping on the cologne after. And be careful of the anal lips.

JohnnyFlash

Utter Consternation wrote: »

Why would you want to shave your arse? Fcuking pointless exercise.

Probably the fashion down the Boilerhouse, UC.

Utter Consternation

gerrybbadd wrote: »

Aerodynamic qualities. Don't knock it until you've tried it UC. Lather up the cheeks, break out the Mac 5 or whatever the fúck these razors are called these days, and have at it. Can't say i'd reccomend slapping on the cologne after. And be careful of the anal lips.

I'll never be trying it. First of all, shaving your hoop is taking vanity too far and secondly i never shave what i can't see. I'm not going to get into a complicated scenario with mirrors placed in various positions so that i can shave my arse without cutting the fcuking ringpiece off myself.

gerrybbadd

Utter Consternation wrote: »

I'll never be trying it. First of all, shaving your hoop is taking vanity too far and secondly i never shave what i can't see. I'm not going to get into a complicated scenario with mirrors placed in various positions so that i can shave my arse without cutting the fcuking ringpiece off myself.

There's always wax. Unless you have an arse like a baboon, you'd be grand. Lie on your back, apply the strips, and whip them off. No more mustangs or dangleberries, and you'd be farting like a chorus of angels, without a "muffler" on top of the anal lips.

EmmetSpiceland

The only reason I’d shave my hole was if I had a 24 year old girlfriend, for the “rimjobs”.

Just trim around the balls, barse and hole. Never, ever, wet shave the “ring piece”. Ever.

gerrybbadd

EmmetSpiceland wrote: »

The only reason I’d shave my hole was if I had a 24 year old girlfriend, for the “rimjobs”.

Just trim around the balls, barse and hole. Never, ever, wet shave the “ring piece”. Ever.

Sage advice as always Em.

Imagine the "Stretching" you'd have to do on the badge to get it sufficiently pulled out for a shave?

Utter Consternation

EmmetSpiceland wrote: »

The only reason I’d shave my hole was if I had a 24 year old girlfriend, for the “rimjobs”.

Just trim around the balls, barse and hole. Never, ever, wet shave the “ring piece”. Ever.

gerrybbadd wrote: »

Sage advice as always Em.

Imagine the "Stretching" you'd have to do on the badge to get it sufficiently pulled out for a shave?

Body image facists. If i want to have a hole hairier that a fcuking gorillas armpit it's not a crime.

Fcuking conformists.

gerrybbadd

Utter Consternation wrote: »

Body image facists. If i want to have a hole hairier that a fcuking gorillas armpit it's not a crime.

Fcuking conformists.

Its not, you're right. Sure it's only yourself you're harming. remeber this in a few years time when you find yourself coughing hairballs out of your leather cheerio

EmmetSpiceland

Utter Consternation wrote: »

Body image facists. If i want to have a hole hairier that a fcuking gorillas armpit it's not a crime.

Fcuking conformists.

I’d say you’ve a face like a baboon’s arse. Too much sun and too many pints of Beamish.

Utter Consternation

EmmetSpiceland wrote: »

I’d say you’ve a face like a baboon’s arse. Too much sun and too many pints of Beamish.

A day in the sun drinking delicious pints of Smithwicks not Beamish is a noble "pursuit" as you would say Emmet.

Only thing wrong with drinking Smithwicks is that your hole smells like something died up there the day after the seesion though.

Hal3000

There’s a new lad in our place. Likes to bring in the left over Sunday roasts for his lunch. Eat it at his desk today then followed it up with a revolting crap in the Jax.

Lil Sally Anne Jnr.

Hal3000 wrote: »

There’s a new lad in our place. Likes to bring in the left over Sunday roasts for his lunch. Eat it at his desk today then followed it up with a revolting crap in the Jax.

Fascinating. But did we ever get the bottom of the Peanut Saga? Was it the wife that squeezed out those half digested peanuts and digestive juices from her large intestine or one of your house guests?