What's the etiquette here??

padd b1975

Pintman Paddy Losty wrote: »

Think padd is more a "dogging" and "cottaging" sort. Word has it his 2001 peugot 308 car van can be found in all the hotpots around the city when he's up on deliveries in the big smoke.

181 Scania S Series these days Pàdraig.

Your Peugeot 407 would be well known in the Poolbeg environs I'd say, whiling away the early hours tipping the brake pedal and turning on and off the interior light.

fuerte1976

padd b1975 wrote: »

Rumour has it a former Welsh rugby international was a gold card member.

Ah no.. No need to go there on here...

padd b1975

fuerte1976 wrote: »

Ah no.. No need to go there on here...

Bit of a low blow right enough.

Apologies for that.

fuerte1976

padd b1975 wrote: »

Apologies for that.

No need to apologise to me brother...

Now back to the pewter predicaments!

Pintman Paddy Losty

fuerte1976 wrote: »

No need to apologise to me brother...

Now back to the pewter predicaments!

This thread is a free market exchange of ideas. A senate of debate and discussion. Every now and again the topics will veer off the main point of discussion to other pressing issues such as amorous clerical advances, tips for adding some zing to the ring piece to tickle the ladies or the intricacies of signalling in the homosexual dogging scenes. That's natural. Let the thing flow dude.

fuerte1976

I'm

Pintman Paddy Losty wrote: »

fuerte1976 wrote: »

No need to apologise to me brother...

Now back to the pewter predicaments!

This thread is a free market exchange of ideas. A senate of debate and discussion. Every now and again the topics will veer off the main point of discussion to other pressing issues such as amorous clerical advances, tips for adding some zing to the ring piece to tickle the ladies or the intricacies of signalling in the homosexual dogging scenes. That's natural. Let the thing flow dude.

Ffs!
Im bunged up.. Maybe that's the issue!

JohnnyFlash

colt45 wrote: »

imgur.com/a/8uC5UVJ
Full support of cultural enrichment is the approved position, no criticism allowed

Go and take a shïte, you cross-eyed racist.

colt45

colt45 wrote: »

imgur.com/a/8uC5UVJ
Full support of cultural enrichment is the approved position, no criticism allowed

What's that got to do with the etiquette around taking a sh*te?

EmmetSpiceland

Don’t soil the “etiquette” thread with unwanted nonsense!

TomSweeney

NeinNeinNein wrote: »

You could always try applying fabreeze at source?

EmmetSpiceland wrote: »

No, no, no. Not going down that “route” again.

As a youth I took aim with a can of “Lynx”, Java, I believe, and opened fire. Direct hit. The sting that took hold was intense.

I ended up, not for the last time in my life, sat over the side of the bath pointing the shower head directly at my hole. The “sting” abated shortly after but lesson learned.

Enjoying this thread immensely!

But can I just warn people about spraying any gas near ANY orifice in the human body, it can cause sudden death.
It's the same phenomena that can kill you if an air bubble is injected with a syringe.

DO NOT SPRAY/PUMP/BLOW ANY GASES NEAR ANY ORIFICE!!!

Bullocks

Brendan Bendar wrote: »

EmmetSpiceland wrote: »

Nah, B. This was when I was a “young buck”. Doubt I could have even imagined getting a “rimmer” back then.

This was just a kid being dumb and thinking a little deodorant “spritz” on the knot would be a good idea after a shower.

Can’t imagine any young one enjoying a “tongueful” of Lynx Java, or Africa, when lapping at the back door.

Live and learn, lads.

Understood lad, understood.

Bye the bye always got a good reaction from the ‘young wans’ if you dabbed your knot with a ...fcuk cant think of the name of them .... the bacon crisps lads with the streaks of bacon through them.

Break a few of them between your cheeks and massage the crumble well in the knot, bit of a sting at first, but the young wans got serious box batter up once they got the whiff of those lads.

Put is this way, you went home with a burnished ringpiece.

Brendan , some poor young lad will read that post and run straight out to buy a 6 pack of "bacon bites "to treat his quare one with . I can just picture his hoop on display , positively reeking and his poor confused head looking out between his legs wondering why herself has legged it instead of gushing with pleasure !
Do not try this at home folks

Brendan Bendar

Bullocks wrote: »

Brendan , some poor young lad will read that post and run straight out to buy a 6 pack of "bacon bites "to treat his quare one with . I can just picture his hoop on display , positively reeking and his poor confused head looking out between his legs wondering why herself has legged it instead of gushing with pleasure !
Do not try this at home folks

Yes, agree, hopefully the young lads don’t read this.

I try to have it removed.

Pintman Paddy Losty

Brendan Bendar wrote: »

I try to have it removed.

Not great grammar there brenners? You indulging on cheap lager?

Brendan Bendar

Pintman Paddy Losty wrote: »

Not great grammar there brenners? You indulging on cheap lager?

Agree, yes ,chugging a slab of Poland’s best.

Might hit the cot, before I do any more damage.

JohnnyFlash

Brendan Bendar wrote: »

Agree, yes ,chugging a slab of Poland’s best.

Might hit the cot, before I do any more damage.

Do you keep your bedpan underneath the foldout bed?

Hal3000

Lads sorry id like to wade in on the seating issue. There’s a guy in our place, retired a few years back. Enjoyed his egg salad sandwiches. If you pressed down on his chair you’d still get a decent reading on a Geiger Counter. He had one of those arses that was well hidden by loose chinos. Cant begin to imagine what he unleashed on that poor seat throughout his career.

JohnnyFlash

Hal3000 wrote: »

Lads sorry id like to wade in on the seating issue. There’s a guy in our place, retired a few years back. Enjoyed his egg salad sandwiches. If you pressed down on his chair you’d get a decent reading on a Geiger Counter. He had one of those arses that was well hidden by loose chinos. Cant begin to imagine what he unleashed on that poor seat over his career.

Civil servant?

Hal3000

JohnnyFlash wrote: »

Civil servant?

Yeah.

Aglomerado

JohnnyFlash wrote: »

Hal3000 wrote: »

Lads sorry id like to wade in on the seating issue. There’s a guy in our place, retired a few years back. Enjoyed his egg salad sandwiches. If you pressed down on his chair you’d get a decent reading on a Geiger Counter. He had one of those arses that was well hidden by loose chinos. Cant begin to imagine what he unleashed on that poor seat over his career.

Civil servant?

I used to work with a big smelly fcuker of an Executive Officer in the civil service who wore the same clothes from Monday to Friday. Shirts covered in sweat stains, egg down the tie, big greasy head on him.
He had an arse the size of a small country which must have been unleashing hell into his seat which was coming apart at the seams and the light coloured fabric was mostly black with sweat from his arse and other suspicious stains. Never smelt farts from him but I think the other smells emanating from him covered them up!

Bullocks

Brendan Bendar wrote: »

Bullocks wrote: »

Brendan , some poor young lad will read that post and run straight out to buy a 6 pack of "bacon bites "to treat his quare one with . I can just picture his hoop on display , positively reeking and his poor confused head looking out between his legs wondering why herself has legged it instead of gushing with pleasure !
Do not try this at home folks

Yes, agree, hopefully the young lads don’t read this.

I try to have it removed.

Don't worry about it horse. Sure it will teach young lads not to swallow everything they read off the Internet. Valuable lessons could be learned haha

Hector Savage

stuck in a bloody online meeting again and have a turtle's head poking on my jox.
This happens me way too much..

Gonna have to bail out ... maybe i'll take the laptop into the cubicle

sligojoek

Hector Savage wrote: »

stuck in a bloody online meeting again and have a turtle's head poking on my jox.
This happens me way too much..

Gonna have to bail out ... maybe i'll take the laptop into the cubicle

Make sure to disable the webcam and mic.

Hotblack Desiato

Hector, do let us know if it's a compact 12 inch, a more hefty 13.3", a man-sized 15.6" or the go-for-broke 17-incher.

Hector Savage

Hotblack Desiato wrote: »

Hector, do let us know if it's a compact 12 inch, a more hefty 13.3", a man-sized 15.6" or the go-for-broke 17-incher.

It was a ****ing long one.... some satisfaction in getting rid of it for sure

Voodoomelon

Is there a worse feeling than sitting down to lunch or dinner and 5 minutes in you suddenly get the urge to pinch a loaf.

With every bite, the pressing urge increases and you get more enraged with yourself for not sorting it out earlier. A nice hot meal in front of you and you know its not going to be same when you return 10 minutes later.

Happened me last night, was disgusted with my rookie mistake, fajitas and all that don't stay hot for long, absolutely raging. You could always do a Usain Bolt up the stairs, whipping the jacks off as you climb but not worth the risk of a crack of the noggin off the top step. You always feel like a dirty beggar sitting back down then to eat the dinner, picking up a fully loaded fajita with the very same fingers that's just been polishing the sheriffs badge.

Demoralising stuff.

NeinNeinNein

Hector Savage wrote: »

It was a ****ing long one.... some satisfaction in getting rid of it for sure

Such a beautiful specimen; the thickness, texture, colouring, shineyness, visable strength. Was it expensive?

Hotblack Desiato

What's worse is when you get the urge when you have approximately 2 minutes left to leave the house for work and you know you can't hold this one off until you get there. Always finishes up with an endless wipe, too. Feckin' arse.

Went into the traps at work for some company time earlier, three out of four full. Head in and get down to business. A few minutes in and there were some strange noises emanating from the neighbouring trap. I mean some seriously loud hacking and coughing, mixed with what might have been vomiting and some heavy duty flatulence/splashing/shuffling around. I've never heard anything like it before. It was actually disturbing, horror movie sounding stuff.
I was torn between asking if the dude was alright and if he wanted me to call an ambulance, or as I believe interrupting someone on the throne is a terrible breach of etiquette thus leaving him to die a horrible sounding death in a work toilet.
He finished up anyway and exited the trap, I stayed put as I did not want to see this guy face to face. If it was someone I knew, it would actually change the way I thought of them, it was that bad.
I don't think I'll be able to use that trap again, traumatising stuff.

Deebles McBeebles

Better to let a man die in that situation, Niall. Less embarrassing for all involved.

JohnnyFlash

Niall shouldn’t have gone into the 4th trap in the 1st place. Etiquette breaches everywhere. Must be civil servants.