Impromptu Ask Me Anything: Homelessness

Homeless2019

Deleted User wrote: »

if its not a windup its astonishing that youd be homeless on the back of that without even having asked.

Man, it's 3am, pissing rain outside, and maybe the mods can verify that I'm posting from a PC in a well-known Dublin college.



Bit too much work for just a wind-up.



I've been involved in a few societies in college, I know what resources are like here. By all means I'll speak to College support people, but their welfare schemes are well publicised, and they don't pay anyone's rent. Nor would I ask them to.



The point of this thread was only so that people could ask anything they want of a homeless person, if they were curious.

mariaalice

Homeless2019 wrote: »

Man, it's 3am, pissing rain outside, and maybe the mods can verify that I'm posting from a PC in a well-known Dublin college.



Bit too much work for just a wind-up.



I've been involved in a few societies in college, I know what resources are like here. By all means I'll speak to College support people, but their welfare schemes are well publicised, and they don't pay anyone's rent. Nor would I ask them to.



The point of this thread was only so that people could ask anything they want of a homeless person, if they were curious.

You sound very sensible and with your head screwed on, you will be fine its just a tempory stage in your life when you are qualifed and working it will be different its just very hard at the moment. Would you go to the multifaith center in the college and talk to someone even just to talk this our with someone. Good luck.

bodhrandude

Just curious OP, do you use the University showers, I used to lived in accommodation in Galway that had no shower facilities so I used to pop up to the NUIG and use their showers from time to time.

Abba987

Homeless2019 wrote: »

Man, it's 3am, pissing rain outside, and maybe the mods can verify that I'm posting from a PC in a well-known Dublin college.



Bit too much work for just a wind up

I've been involved in a few societies in college, I know what resources are like here. By all means I'll speak to College support people, but their welfare schemes are well publicised, and they don't pay anyone's rent. Nor would I ask them to.



The point of this thread was only so that people could ask anything they want of a homeless person, if they were curious.

Why is everything presumed to be a wind up?

Ok keep studying. Education is the only way out

dartboardio

Does your employment not know about your situation? It doesnt make sense to me

Surely it has come up in conversation with colleagues? Will we go out tonight or where are you living etc

How long are you working there? Would it be an option to tell them the predicament you're in and possibly get an advance?

Surely the college could sort out a lunch for you everyday so you could save a bit each week seen as you're homeless?

m5ex9oqjawdg2i

ahnowbrowncow wrote: »

You're very naive if you think people aren't playing the system just because you and other people you've met are genuinely homeless.

OP never mentioned that people are not playing the system...

kippy wrote: »

Well, you can tiptoe around the issue all you want, but based on the pieces of information we are being given, that is my honest opinion - an opinion that would apply to this specific situation
Harsh or not I think its necessary to be honest.

Opinions are like arseholes, everybody has one...

dartboardio wrote: »

I may be a bit naive at times and wanted to know why OPs college wasnt aware of the homeless situation and also where his or her wages go each week if they are earning 200/250 a week.

Did you not insinuate that the OP spends his money on drugs, drink and loans? Of all the things to pick, you chose those three.

When I was in college I had a friend who was working as a plasterers apprentice I believe, he got paid a decent wage. Nothing crazy, but he had a couple of bob. He wasn't married, but lived with his girlfriend and their child. He had asked me if he could stay on my couch as his girlfriend had thrown a wobbler and kicked him out. She was a little bit mentally unstable. Just like that, he had no place to go.

It must have taken some courage to ask his friend to stay on his couch. He didn't ask for a night or two, or for a little while. He asked if he could stay with us until he got back on his feet. It could have been a couple of weeks or longer. Sound bloke, in a shítty situation. I think he stayed for about 2 months. Paid rent every week which went towards the bills. Every time I seen him after, he would always thank me and said that if it wasn't for our help he would have set up a tent in a field somewhere. I hope I am never in that situation.

If I found myself in that situation, I don't think I would have too many friends I could ask for that kind of help. Not everybody is blessed with a large circle of family and friends who would be happy to help.



OP, looking back over the years, is there anything you could have changed in order to avoid your current situation or was everything out of your control? Could you have made a bigger effort with your family/friends? Could you have saved more? Is there any advice you could give others on how to 1. avoid being homeless 2. coping mechanisms you used to get you through this time.

This is it

dartboardio wrote: »

Does your employment not know about your situation? It doesnt make sense to me

Surely it has come up in conversation with colleagues? Will we go out tonight or where are you living etc

How long are you working there? Would it be an option to tell them the predicament you're in and possibly get an advance?

Surely the college could sort out a lunch for you everyday so you could save a bit each week seen as you're homeless?

What would he do with the cash advance?

And while saving is always good, what would the OP do with this extra €20 a week... They won't rent a room, that's for sure

Foweva Awone

Are you aware that, if you're registered as homeless, if you rent a room/property through Homeless HAP, the council will pay 1.5 times the usual rate and also the deposit and two months rent upfront. You don't even have to rent within the area you're registered for, you can live anywhere in the country. I'd be looking at that option rather than living in a hostel long-term, I know from my own experience that those temporary accommodations can really mess with your head. It's no way to live.

dartboardio

Katalina Full Seismograph wrote: »

OP never mentioned that people are not playing the system...



Opinions are like arseholes, everybody has one...



Did you not insinuate that the OP spends his money on drugs, drink and loans? Of all the things to pick, you chose those three.

When I was in college I had a friend who was working as a plasterers apprentice I believe, he got paid a decent wage. Nothing crazy, but he had a couple of bob. He wasn't married, but lived with his girlfriend and their child. He had asked me if he could stay on my couch as his girlfriend had thrown a wobbler and kicked him out. She was a little bit mentally unstable. Just like that, he had no place to go.

It must have taken some courage to ask his friend to stay on his couch. He didn't ask for a night or two, or for a little while. He asked if he could stay with us until he got back on his feet. It could have been a couple of weeks or longer. Sound bloke, in a shítty situation. I think he stayed for about 2 months. Paid rent every week which went towards the bills. Every time I seen him after, he would always thank me and said that if it wasn't for our help he would have set up a tent in a field somewhere. I hope I am never in that situation.

If I found myself in that situation, I don't think I would have too many friends I could ask for that kind of help. Not everybody is blessed with a large circle of family and friends who would be happy to help.



OP, looking back over the years, is there anything you could have changed in order to avoid your current situation or was everything out of your control? Could you have made a bigger effort with your family/friends? Could you have saved more? Is there any advice you could give others on how to 1. avoid being homeless 2. coping mechanisms you used to get you through this time.

Jayz were awful sensitive in here today.

No i insinuated nothing, i explained MY money would go fast only if i spent it on drink or things similar to it but that id struggle to spend 250 a week on sandwiches.

I just thought maybe OP could chat with a guidance counsellor to maybe have free lunches in the canteen everyday or whatever since his main expenditure seems to be food. Surely he could save 100 a week then towards a room. 500 in 5 weeks. Better than what he has now..

The Real Ramona

OP, I'm very sorry to read about your situation. I hope that finishing your course and getting a full time job afterwards brings you out of this.

My question is, how do you manage to sleep on the floor at your college? Where exactly do you sleep and has nobody noticed?

Wishing you the best of luck in the future.

Teepinaw

When I walk past a person sleeping on the street, with sleeping bag and collecting coins in a cup, I never know if I should give that person money..
Sometimes I do and sometimes I don't.

What's your take on this?

This is it

dartboardio wrote: »

Jayz were awful sensitive in here today.

No i insinuated nothing, i explained MY money would go fast only if i spent it on drink or things similar to it but that id struggle to spend 250 a week on sandwiches.

I just thought maybe OP could chat with a guidance counsellor to maybe have free lunches in the canteen everyday or whatever since his main expenditure seems to be food. Surely he could save 100 a week then towards a room. 500 in 5 weeks. Better than what he has now..

I don't think it's sensitivity but rather surprise at the lack of empathy shown in your posts. Every second sentence is "Surely".

Surely you know that if things were as easy to change as you're making out, the OP would have done so.

Hopefully the information in Foweva Awone post goes some way to helping the OP.

LLMMLL

Deleted User wrote: »

jesus folks if the OP didnt want to discuss their situation theyd hardly have started a bloody thread about it would ye harden up.

OP admits he can save money and hasnt actually gone to his college to avail of supports available.

like. good luck op but cmon. kippy is bang on, if a little direct. you seem levelheaded enough but there is definitely an element of not having done the obvious here.

Ah here kippys solution is for the OP to impose himself on a friend who is in a relationship and try and smooth things over with a few quid. Completely ridiculous.

Anyone who was imposing on a friend long term, possibly having a detrimental impact on that friends relationship should be advised to stop imposing on that friend and to see what the government and support services can do for them. Not the other way round.

By kippys logic anyone who has at least one friend with accomodation is homeless because of "decisions" they have made.

LLMMLL

Are there soup kitchen style places in Dublin where people can get a free meal? If so perhaps eat on that type of place as much as you can.

I don't know if it's still the case but Govindas on Abbey St would give you a massive plate of food for a Euro or two at closing time.

Also try the St Vincent de Paul. I've a family member heavily involved and know they have helped people out with money for college materials which you've listed as a big expense. They'd be only too happy to help a clearly genuine case like yourself.

LLMMLL

LLMMLL wrote: »

Ah here kippys solution is for the OP to impose himself on a friend who is in a relationship and try and smooth things over with a few quid. Completely ridiculous.

Anyone who was imposing on a friend long term, possibly having a detrimental impact on that friends relationship should be advised to stop imposing on that friend and to see what the government and support services can do for them. Not the other way round.

By kippys logic anyone who has at least one friend with accomodation is homeless because of "decisions" they have made.

unfair

the OP has avoided speaking to the institutional supports in place because he presumes theyll do nothing

everything else in the thread, and wishing the OP the best of luck in taking the above step, is absolute fluff

but it raises a very interesting point in the damage done by a constant background noise attacking the institutions and bodies that exist to give assistance to genuine and deserving cases, as this certainly appears to be.

i have to say (and look i have said it, fair enough!) the OP appears to be very passive about meeting their housing need, its a very peculiar contrast to their determination to stay in work and college, which are both hugely laudable efforts we all agree.

jumping on any post that questions whether they need to be in the situation they are in is not a solution either.

dartboardio

This is it wrote: »

I don't think it's sensitivity but rather surprise at the lack of empathy shown in your posts. Every second sentence is "Surely".

Surely you know that if things were as easy to change as you're making out, the OP would have done so.

Hopefully the information in Foweva Awone post goes some way to helping the OP.

Again
That comes down to sensitivity

This is a thread where we ask questions. Not display our feelings for one another.

Were trying to understand OPs situation and offer alternatives. Not tell them how much we feel sorry for them.

LLMMLL

Deleted User wrote: »

LLMMLL wrote: »

Ah here kippys solution is for the OP to impose himself on a friend who is in a relationship and try and smooth things over with a few quid. Completely ridiculous.

Anyone who was imposing on a friend long term, possibly having a detrimental impact on that friends relationship should be advised to stop imposing on that friend and to see what the government and support services can do for them. Not the other way round.

By kippys logic anyone who has at least one friend with accomodation is homeless because of "decisions" they have made.

unfair

the OP has avoided speaking to the institutional supports in place because he presumes theyll do nothing

everything else in the thread, and wishing the OP the best of luck in taking the above step, is absolute fluff

but it raises a very interesting point in the damage done by a constant background noise attacking the institutions and bodies that exist to give assistance to genuine and deserving cases, as this certainly appears to be.

i have to say (and look i have said it, fair enough!) the OP appears to be very passive about meeting their housing need, its a very peculiar contrast to their determination to stay in work and college, which are both hugely laudable efforts we all agree.

jumping on any post that questions whether they need to be in the situation they are in is not a solution either.

Not unfair at all. Kippy kept asking questions until he got a response he felt he could portray as being the OPs decision. He wasn't talking about the OP not going to his college. He kept asking about the OPs family and friends who cannot be expected to fill the gap long term especially given his family circumstances.

It's also ridiculous to concentrate on the OP not going to his University for assistance when he has engaged with other bodies. He has gone to the government for assistance. Not asking his University for assistance doesn't then place him in a category of "oh well he hasn't tried hard enough".

Yes the OP can ask his University for help. They may be able to help a small bit but the body that can help most are official government services. And the OP has engaged with them.

Kylo Ren

I don't frequent many Boards AMA's but Christ, some of these replies to this guy are staggering.

Any time I go to Dublin I am reminded how lucky I have it with the number of people out on the streets in all weather conditions. Fair play to you for sticking with your studies under all of this -- the vast majority (myself included) probably wouldn't be able for it. Best of luck to you, OP.

ogsjw

A lot of people, a lot of Irish people, are extremely narrow minded and I see lots of utterly disgusting hot-takes surrounding homeless people. I work remotely and so I have to stay in hostels; I have been refused rental hundreds of times for being a freelancer. I meet far too many regular joes in these hostels who fell victim to asshole landlords, for a number of reasons. During off-season more than 50% of guests can be working individuals. Many have simply given up looking. I myself gave up many months ago, I couldn't face it anymore. Saves me bus money heading out to these places, saves me the knot in my stomach lining up for an hour prior knowing I'm going to be refused. Things are very serious in Dublin and in many cities around the world now. If you look at any listings on rental Facebook groups, most are single rooms that have had four bunks into them; so that wouldn't even be a lateral move for me; these places are not built for several people, in regard to ameneties. I've seen a lot of people in genuine situations end up homeless on YouTube, a great platform for those who want to really open their eyes to how this issue is changing in an alarming way these days. I recommend the channel 'Invisible People' as a good start.

It saves me the stress of futily looking, but it is still very stressful and not a lifestyle anyone would want. They can be dangerous, and you will be around unsavoury characters. They're noisy places, and this has taken a toll on my anxiety etc.

Best of luck OP. You're fighting for your education, fair play, don't let any sneering, condescending or begrudging people tell you otherwise.

Daz527

If you buy a bike for 100 quid your transport needs are nil for good. How can’t you afford to do this. Surely you could save 20 a week for 5 weeks? I don’t earn much more than that and while a struggle is well manageable

ogsjw

Foweva Awone wrote: »

Are you aware that, if you're registered as homeless, if you rent a room/property through Homeless HAP, the council will pay 1.5 times the usual rate and also the deposit and two months rent upfront. You don't even have to rent within the area you're registered for, you can live anywhere in the country. I'd be looking at that option rather than living in a hostel long-term, I know from my own experience that those temporary accommodations can really mess with your head. It's no way to live.

Good luck finding anyone to accept HAP. I've been refused it in the past, many, many times even though it's illegal to do so. Have a lad doing it on an .mp3 even, he flat out offered me the place then recinded the offer. He refused me inside of his property, so it wasn't even admissable. Should've asked him out in the garden

dartboardio

Daz527 wrote: »

If you buy a bike for 100 quid your transport needs are nil for good. How can’t you afford to do this. Surely you could save 20 a week for 5 weeks? I don’t earn much more than that and while a struggle is well manageable

That is the part i dont understand either.. Instead of being like 'sure where will 20 euro get me that will take ages'

Surely op can afford to save a small amount each week to save for a rented room deposit or like you say, a bike. I dont know how the entire 250 is gone each week and how they can fathom spending every cent of it on food buses and i dunno what college they are in if it requires materials to be bought every single week..

Surely op could very easily get by with 150 or 200 each week for their hostel and food? Then put the rest towards a bicycle at least or rented room deposit? Moving a step forward at least?

LLMMLL

dartboardio wrote: »

Daz527 wrote: »

If you buy a bike for 100 quid your transport needs are nil for good. How can’t you afford to do this. Surely you could save 20 a week for 5 weeks? I don’t earn much more than that and while a struggle is well manageable

That is the part i dont understand either.. Instead of being like 'sure where will 20 euro get me that will take ages'

Surely op can afford to save a small amount each week to save for a rented room deposit or like you say, a bike. I dont know how the entire 250 is gone each week and how they can fathom spending every cent of it on food buses and i dunno what college they are in if it requires materials to be bought every single week..

Surely op could very easily get by with 150 or 200 each week for their hostel and food? Then put the rest towards a bicycle at least or rented room deposit? Moving a step forward at least?

How much does the OP pay for a hostel dartboardio?

kippy

LLMMLL wrote: »

Not unfair at all. Kippy kept asking questions until he got a response he felt he could portray as being the OPs decision. He wasn't talking about the OP not going to his college. He kept asking about the OPs family and friends who cannot be expected to fill the gap long term especially given his family circumstances.

It's also ridiculous to concentrate on the OP not going to his University for assistance when he has engaged with other bodies. He has gone to the government for assistance. Not asking his University for assistance doesn't then place him in a category of "oh well he hasn't tried hard enough".

Yes the OP can ask his University for help. They may be able to help a small bit but the body that can help most are official government services. And the OP has engaged with them.

Look,
My own take on the OP's situation is exactly that - a take on their situation, not on every homeless persons situation.

Personally, I have built up a good network of friends and colleagues over the years and am lucky enough to have supportive parents and a wider family in general.
There is absolutely no way I would see any of these people without a roof over their head if they were to come to me looking for some assistance or I had heard of their plight. And I believe I would be in the same boat with them.
So I am big on connections and support network in general. I think it's a critical aspect to life in general.
If I see others that may not have the same support I have to ask why.
And again, in the OP's specific circumstances it looks like there are and have been obvious personal decisions made that have led to this situation.

There are a lot of people in here to take my stance as overly harsh and unfair to the OP - but again, this is an unverified AMA (Aske me ANYTHING) - I've just attempted to tease out what decisions have been made to get to this point and what set of decisions can be made for the OP to get out of the situation they are in (if they so wish).

kippy

Kylo Ren wrote: »

I don't frequent many Boards AMA's but Christ, some of these replies to this guy are staggering.

Any time I go to Dublin I am reminded how lucky I have it with the number of people out on the streets in all weather conditions. Fair play to you for sticking with your studies under all of this -- the vast majority (myself included) probably wouldn't be able for it. Best of luck to you, OP.

This isn't a verified boards AMA.

Reviews and Books Galore

Homeless2019 wrote: »

I'm sleeping on a floor in College tonight for the second night in a row. I'm pretty homeless if you ask me.

Perhaps you can try sharing a room/dorm bed?

Now you are living with homeless, see yourself as homeless and , worse, the social workers are treating you like a homeless person.

If you have your own bed, you have your own kitchen. You have your own library. You gave a place to smoke, eat, sleep, chat, study, and shower.

You will not be homeless in your head.

College cones out, so tough it out if you gave to, but food for thought.

moonage

OP, how much per week do you spend on

a) Food

b) Transportation

c) Accommodation at a homeless hostel (or is it free?)

Zorya

It's completely understandable how this can happen. I have no solution to offer, except if you can, do maintain your studies and your 25 hours a week job, just to have that bit of leeway.

My thought - a bit weird I know - is that maybe you could afford one night a week or fortnight where you stay in an Airbnb cheap room, just so you can have a bit of a break from the stress, and cook for yourself and have a long bath and a bit of space and comfort. Just for the rest even. And to keep spirits up.

You can specify price range on the site, for a particular date, say choose up to 40 euros.

Then see if there is anything where you can get to for a bit of a break from the mayhem. And talk to the hosts, maybe they know of somewhere, maybe they would do a deal?

Here are 3 examples for May 1st in Dublin city area, all in or around 30 euros.

https://www.airbnb.ie/rooms/24278424?adults=1&toddlers=0&check_in=2019-05-01&check_out=2019-05-02&guests=1&s=Yyy-mVIo

https://www.airbnb.ie/rooms/27055788?adults=1&toddlers=0&check_in=2019-05-01&check_out=2019-05-02&guests=1&s=EtkIuxBk

https://www.airbnb.ie/rooms/24303095?adults=1&toddlers=0&check_in=2019-05-01&check_out=2019-05-02&guests=1&s=EtkIuxBk

Reviews and Books Galore

ogsjw wrote: »

A lot of people, a lot of Irish people, are extremely narrow minded and I see lots of utterly disgusting hot-takes surrounding homeless people. I work remotely and so I have to stay in hostels; I have been refused rental hundreds of times for being a freelancer. I meet far too many regular joes in these hostels who fell victim to asshole landlords, for a number of reasons. During off-season more than 50% of guests can be working individuals. Many have simply given up looking. I myself gave up many months ago, I couldn't face it anymore. Saves me bus money heading out to these places, saves me the knot in my stomach lining up for an hour prior knowing I'm going to be refused. Things are very serious in Dublin and in many cities around the world now. If you look at any listings on rental Facebook groups, most are single rooms that have had four bunks into them; so that wouldn't even be a lateral move for me; these places are not built for several people, in regard to ameneties. I've seen a lot of people in genuine situations end up homeless on YouTube, a great platform for those who want to really open their eyes to how this issue is changing in an alarming way these days. I recommend the channel 'Invisible People' as a good start.

It saves me the stress of futily looking, but it is still very stressful and not a lifestyle anyone would want. They can be dangerous, and you will be around unsavoury characters. They're noisy places, and this has taken a toll on my anxiety etc.

Best of luck OP. You're fighting for your education, fair play, don't let any sneering, condescending or begrudging people tell you otherwise.

Any stories about dishonest renters leading to homelessness? Almost happened to me, but I was able to play the foreigner card ( Irish in foreign country)

LLMMLL

kippy wrote: »

LLMMLL wrote: »

Not unfair at all. Kippy kept asking questions until he got a response he felt he could portray as being the OPs decision. He wasn't talking about the OP not going to his college. He kept asking about the OPs family and friends who cannot be expected to fill the gap long term especially given his family circumstances.

It's also ridiculous to concentrate on the OP not going to his University for assistance when he has engaged with other bodies. He has gone to the government for assistance. Not asking his University for assistance doesn't then place him in a category of "oh well he hasn't tried hard enough".

Yes the OP can ask his University for help. They may be able to help a small bit but the body that can help most are official government services. And the OP has engaged with them.

Look,
My own take on the OP's situation is exactly that - a take on their situation, not on every homeless persons situation.

Personally, I have built up a good network of friends and colleagues over the years and am lucky enough to have supportive parents and a wider family in general.
There is absolutely no way I would see any of these people without a roof over their head if they were to come to me looking for some assistance or I had heard of their plight. And I believe I would be in the same boat with them.
So I am big on connections and support network in general. I think it's a critical aspect to life in general.
If I see others that may not have the same support I have to ask why.
And again, in the OP's specific circumstances it looks like there are and have been obvious personal decisions made that have led to this situation.

There are a lot of people in here to take my stance as overly harsh and unfair to the OP - but again, this is an unverified AMA (Aske me ANYTHING) - I've just attempted to tease out what decisions have been made to get to this point and what set of decisions can be made for the OP to get out of the situation they are in (if they so wish).

Have you ever had a look at the personal issues forum? Where tons of people have had to cut contact with their narcissistic abusive families so they don't lose their mind?

Where one of the most common threads are about loneliness and difficulty making new friends?

Not everyone has a big network like you and it's not because of "decisions" they have made.

Unfortunately people who are very sociable often lack the basic ability to put themselves in others shoes and see that not everyone has the big networks that they do.

You had basically decided that any homeless person is there because of "decisions" they have made and just kept asking be OP questions until you got something you could portray as a "decision". You had your mind made up in advance.

I mean the OP could break into an unoccupied flat and occupy it. Has he made a "decision" in not doing that? Would it be reasonable to chastise him for "deciding" not to this ridiculous thing?

ogsjw

Reviews and Books Galore wrote: »

Any stories about dishonest renters leading to homelessness? Almost happened to me, but I was able to play the foreigner card ( Irish in foreign country)

... I just realized I've not had many decent living situations. Some, but not many. I've rented a 'studio' in a Georgian in Dublin 6 that was infested with rats (as soon as I'd turn the lights off the cracking of the wood would start, and one was waiting for me under my bed when I got home one day, nice thing to come back to after a hard day). Landlord couldn't give a flying one, wouldn't call exterminators, knew it was as an issue before I took the place. Place was in bits, one of the stairs was held in place with a bookshelf hinge; rats must really like chewing wood. Oven didn't work either. Crammed a turkey, ham and trimmings into a slow cooker for my Christmas dinner :P

In another place I've had a knife held to my throat by an Eastern European housemate when I asked him to not turn the house into a rave, landlord couldn't give a damn about that, but was very angry I called the police (???).

I've lived abroad myself, and have had windows leak all winter; resorted to a paper cup taped to my window. Building managers wouldn't do a damn thing. We kept complaining about freezing water in the winter, they wouldn't give us hot water and wouldn't you know it, I come back from work one day and they're replacing pipes on the outside of the buildings because the bloody pipes froze because they were so desperate to prevent us from having hot showers in the morning.

Just in case anyone has any questions about why I gave up looking so easily ;P 'Getting indoors' isn't the end of people's woes in a lot of people's cases.

Even typing that out was upsetting. ****. Why can't some people just let other decent people just live in some semblance of happiness?

i dont think the thread needs to be an in depth investigation into whether or not the OP should or shouldn't have better options out of their personal networks at this stage.

they say they dont.

the reader can draw conclusions out of that if they want.

kippy

LLMMLL wrote: »

Have you ever had a look at the personal issues forum? Where tons of people have had to cut contact with their narcissistic abusive families so they don't lose their mind?

Where one of the most common threads are about loneliness and difficulty making new friends?

Not everyone has a big network like you and it's not because of "decisions" they have made.

Unfortunately people who are very sociable often lack the basic ability to put themselves in others shoes and see that not everyone has the big networks that they do.

You had basically decided that any homeless person is there because of "decisions" they have made and just kept asking be OP questions until you got something you could portray as a "decision". You had your mind made up in advance.

I mean the OP could break into an unoccupied flat and occupy it. Has he made a "decision" in not doing that? Would it be reasonable to chastise him for "deciding" not to this ridiculous thing?

Lets keep the red herrings in the sea, shall we?

I can't put myself in other peoples shoes can I because I lack that basic ability? Grand so.

LLMMLL

kippy wrote: »

LLMMLL wrote: »

Have you ever had a look at the personal issues forum? Where tons of people have had to cut contact with their narcissistic abusive families so they don't lose their mind?

Where one of the most common threads are about loneliness and difficulty making new friends?

Not everyone has a big network like you and it's not because of "decisions" they have made.

Unfortunately people who are very sociable often lack the basic ability to put themselves in others shoes and see that not everyone has the big networks that they do.

You had basically decided that any homeless person is there because of "decisions" they have made and just kept asking be OP questions until you got something you could portray as a "decision". You had your mind made up in advance.

I mean the OP could break into an unoccupied flat and occupy it. Has he made a "decision" in not doing that? Would it be reasonable to chastise him for "deciding" not to this ridiculous thing?

Lets keep the red herrings in the sea, shall we?

I can't put myself in other peoples shoes can I because I lack that basic ability? Grand so.

What red herrings? You have said the OP is homeless because of personal decisions that have led to them not having a support network.

You've used an example of your own large support network to back this up.

Yes that does suggest an inability to put yourself in other people shoes when family difficulties and small friend networks are a common issue for so many people.

kippy

LLMMLL wrote: »

What red herrings? You have said the OP is homeless because of personal decisions that have led to them not having a support network.

You've used an example of your own large support network to back this up.

Yes that does suggest an inability to put yourself in other people shoes when family difficulties and small friend networks are a common issue for so many people.

I tend not to put myself in another persons shoes, without having at least met the person and being aware of all of the facts.
I've not said that is why they are homeless.
I've said there are a multitude of decisions that they have made that have led to this point (based on the information we have been presented with).

The OP has put attending college above having a stable roof over their heads. That is a decision they have made when there are other options that may would have led them to having a roof over their head elsewhere, outside of Dublin and perhaps with a job also until they could get back on their feet.

Reviews and Books Galore

ogsjw wrote: »

... I just realized I've not had many decent living situations. Some, but not many. I've rented a 'studio' in a Georgian in Dublin 6 that was infested with rats (as soon as I'd turn the lights off the cracking of the wood would start, and one was waiting for me under my bed when I got home one day, nice thing to come back to after a hard day). Landlord couldn't give a flying one, wouldn't call exterminators, knew it was as an issue before I took the place. Place was in bits, one of the stairs was held in place with a bookshelf hinge; rats must really like chewing wood. Oven didn't work either. Crammed a turkey, ham and trimmings into a slow cooker for my Christmas dinner :P

In another place I've had a knife held to my throat by an Eastern European housemate when I asked him to not turn the house into a rave, landlord couldn't give a damn about that, but was very angry I called the police (???).

I've lived abroad myself, and have had windows leak all winter; resorted to a paper cup taped to my window. Building managers wouldn't do a damn thing. We kept complaining about freezing water in the winter, they wouldn't give us hot water and wouldn't you know it, I come back from work one day and they're replacing pipes on the outside of the buildings because the bloody pipes froze because they were so desperate to prevent us from having hot showers in the morning.

Just in case anyone has any questions about why I gave up looking so easily ;P 'Getting indoors' isn't the end of people's woes in a lot of people's cases.

Even typing that out was upsetting. ****. Why can't some people just let other decent people just live in some semblance of happiness?[/QUOT

IMO, its a warzone here. I lived in other countries and if you call the cops, they'll handle a landlord pretty sharpish.

I guess life's a battle until you get a mortgage.

ogsjw

Reviews and Books Galore wrote: »

I guess life's a battle until you get a mortgage.

Then the fun 'dodge the recession' game starts :P

Abel Ruiz

timthumbni wrote: »

Aye, there is certainly a lot of billy big balls around here. Bad situations can happen to anyone at any time.

I don't see you offering your spare room/couch/money for a decent night's sleep, or any bit of advice to help the situation.
So get down off the high horse.
The questions haven't been that bad, the op is free not to answer.

ogsjw

Abel Ruiz wrote: »

The questions haven't been that bad, the op is free not to answer.

Some questions may have been genuine and geared towards a way to practice help or understand, but there are a number of users here just looking to poke holes in his story, and they should get a hobby.

And no. It is not acceptable to be kicking someone while they're already down. What an insidious idea. Homelessness has a considerable effect on people's mental health; sociopathic netizens making it worse by piling on with no interest in helping or understanding is just gross.

ashes2014

I'm sorry for your situation OP-I can't imagine the fear and stress being homeless must cause you.

I used to believe that homeless people were unlucky who maybe had no family/addiction issues etc. I think the thousands of people now homeless is due to something else (lack of our Dail putting citizens first is one possible reason).

I would like to ask: When is your course finished? and Is there a chance of you getting a good job-ie 40 hours at a decent rate so that you could afford to rent?

The only suggestion I would have for you right now is, if you were to see a vacant position in an eatery/restaurant I would be inclined to to apply for that as some of these places often include free/reduced food when employed there. You mentioned your current job was not very stable and most of your money goes on food. Not to be adding more work for you to do, but its just a thought.

Abel Ruiz

ogsjw wrote: »

Some questions may have been genuine and geared towards a way to practice help or understand, but there are a number of users here just looking to poke holes in his story, and they should get a hobby.

And no. It is not acceptable to be kicking someone while they're already down. What an insidious idea. Homelessness has a considerable effect on people's mental health; sociopathic netizens making it worse by piling on with no interest in helping or understanding is just gross.

What are you going to do to help other than moan about the questions being asked???
I didn't see anyone try to kick the op. And I'm sure they'd be banned if they did.

ogsjw

Abel Ruiz wrote: »

What are you going to do to help other than moan about the questions being asked???

Sure I'm fecked too. What are you doing? You seem to be very into pointing fingers. What are you doing?

Abel Ruiz wrote: »

And I'm sure they'd be banned if they did.

A point worth exploring, I agree...

Abel Ruiz

ogsjw wrote: »

Sure I'm fecked too. What are you doing? You seem to be very into pointing fingers. What are you doing?



A point worth exploring, I agree...

I am pointing fingers at the folks like you moaning.
Cop on.

ogsjw

Abel Ruiz wrote: »

I am pointing fingers at the folks like you moaning.

In a thread about a user who is trying to reach out to people because he's in a very difficult spot? Sounds like you need to leave the thread.

Paulfitzy

I can't help OP in any way, I wish I could but, unfortunately, I find myself in a similar position. In the last year or so, I have suffered from what I would describe as crippling anxiety and depression.

A quick summary of that backstory is that there was a lot that went on from my early teenage years to my mid twenties (the death of my father as well as other family members and friends, some sudden, some not so sudden) and I never really dealt with it properly. Counselling really helped me and made me realise that things had all just built up on me and came crashing down, and I found myself in a downward spiral. My girlfriend was stellar through all of this, I don't think I'll ever be able to thank her enough! Anyway, I was on the mend when the proverbial sh*t hit the fan.

Long story short, I was renting a room in a house that I shared with others and then I lost my job due to absence (I relapsed and could not find a way to leave my bed most days, never mind leave my room to even make food). Not long after, my girlfriend, who lived at her home house at the time, gave birth to our beautiful baby girl. I had no source of income (social welfare payment was pending due to various reasons) and I was falling behind on my rent and bills. It eventually came to the point where I had to leave the house because I could no longer afford to pay the rent and bills and be able to eat at the same time. I couch surfed for weeks, mostly in my girlfriends sitting room and friends couches, but the relationship she had with her mother, which was poor at best, broke down and her mother had threatened her and the baby and forced them to leave the house in the early hours of the morning with no place to go.

The 3 of us have been going from couch to couch since the beginning of February, waiting for Cope to help us but no word ever came from them. It wasn't until we actually had no place to go one night that I made my girlfriend check in to a refuge so that her and the child would be okay. As soon as that happened, Cope acted quickly and got us a room in a hotel just outside of the town. We've been here 2 days, and the comfort of not having to worry about where we will sleep next is a massive help, but neither of us drive and with no cooking or washing facilities (other than a dry cleaners) and the cost of eating out, buses and taxis to try get things sorted with the council and our belongings etc, our funds have dwindled rapidly.

We spoke to somebody who was in a similar situation before and they advised that Cope can provide laundry tokens, food vouchers and something equivalent to a bus pass, but after scouring the internet, I can't find any information relating to that. I'm wondering if anybody in a similar situation or with a knowledge of the sector can clarify if this is true? Are people entitled to this when availing of the homeless services, is it an "ask and you shall receive" situation, or do they decide this on a case by case basis once queried?

Also, I read through the majority of this post, and just to let you guys know, we have exhausted our options with family and friends on both sides, they were very good to us but we understand that there is only so much they can do. So just want to say that I'm looking for answers, not hassle as we have had enough of that.

Sorry for the life story, but any response with useful info would be much appreciated!

Much love,
All 3 of us!

Annasopra

kippy wrote: »

It's also a decision.
As is placing a college education above a place to stay.
As is a multitude of other things that leave you without wider family support and/or a larger network of friends who can help out in a time of need.

Or maybe the op is thinking longterm that an education will give him better financial opportunities in the future to find a home!

Annasopra

kippy wrote: »

This is an unofficial, unverified AMA in After Hours. You'll forgive me if I question things a bit more than some.

To be honest your posts come across as judgemental and passive agressive

HBC08

dartboardio wrote: »

That is the part i dont understand either.. Instead of being like 'sure where will 20 euro get me that will take ages'

Surely op can afford to save a small amount each week to save for a rented room deposit or like you say, a bike. I dont know how the entire 250 is gone each week and how they can fathom spending every cent of it on food buses and i dunno what college they are in if it requires materials to be bought every single week..

Surely op could very easily get by with 150 or 200 each week for their hostel and food? Then put the rest towards a bicycle at least or rented room deposit? Moving a step forward at least?

Surely you have all the answers surely.

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts

Homeless2019 wrote: »

Both. I can't imagine how anyone can live without working during their studies, unless they are from the city in which they work, or their parents are very well-off.

Very little. Mostly from other homeless people, surprisingly.



I don't. It's apparently quite common among homeless people - a lack of a familial support network.


I thought with my job that I should have been able to afford rent. I was previously unemployed, so my tuition fees are almost free. I really am grateful for that. But even with my job, it's impossible to make ends meet.

The maintenance grant allowed me to only work summers in college. I was not from any city, so had to move away for college and most definitely not from a well-off family. Hence qualifying for the maintenance grant. But that was a decade and more ago, when my monthly rent in a close-to-town, good accommodation area never went above €400pcm. Is it the current rents that are making things so unaffordable now? Have you applied for the maintenance grant?

kippy

Joeytheparrot wrote: »

To be honest your posts come across as judgemental and passive agressive

The OP obviously is thinking long term and believes that an education is better for them than a roof over their head right now.
I can see you you might find some of my posting judgemental - I can't really do much about that. I've no intention of being passive aggressive - wouldn't be in me.