Overly competitive colleague

cloudatlas

I know this is a minor problem but it's really getting to me. My colleague has always been really competitive, this is her first proper job and she is an only child I think this manifests itself as craving constant affirmation and attention. If my supervisor gives her work she stops what she is doing and does it immediately even though the deadline is weeks away.

She constantly shouts out what work she is doing or has done just like a child. If she could she would just do all the work herself and wouldn't share it so she can say she was the one that did it. I had to ask my boss to draw up a rota so she would stop doing all of the extra tasks i.e. making it look like I wasn't contributing.

I'm not a competitive person but I can feel my personality changing because of the atmosphere of competition this person has created. I know I should just let her get on with it but I feel like my nose is being rubbed in it constantly. I think my boss knows I don't like this and has toned down her behaviour in terms of constantly saying 'good job!' to this girl when she shouts out something.

But it still gets to me because I've noticed sometimes my supervisor gives her extra work to do that she doesn't give me. I can do the work and am fast but if I'm given a task I plan it out with other tasks I'm doing, I don't drop what I'm doing and solely do the new task if it's not required to be done immediately which I think is normal. Another thing she does is if she is sent work from someone else that hasn't been sent to me she lets me know that the work was sent to her, the intention is to cause me upset.

There is no reason for the competition, I'm always polite to her although we aren't friendly because she has created this level of competition (notably she doesn't have any friends just spends her weekends at home with her partner).

There is no point to this as there is no obvious promotion that we have to vye for in fact there isn't much hope of promotion at all but she obviously feels as if she must triumph over me at every turn.

I've put up with this for 2 1/2 years so far and the constant competitive funny behaviour is one of the reasons I'm trying to get another job. Sometimes she will talk over and interrupt me in the office, I'm taking steps to deal with this but she does it to other people as well and they say nothing.

Any tips on how to handle this?

Always Tired

I HATE colleagues like that. Worked with a guy like that once. Turned out he was so productive because he wasnt following procedures and one day he broke an expensive piece of equipment as a result of his cutting corners in order to outdo everyone else. Then when a permanent job came up and he didn't get it, he flipped out because he was adamant he was the best worker but he didn't get it because everyone thought he was annoying, and they then fired him for his outburst (we were contractors).

So try and ignore it and hopefully she'll hang herself. Someone talking over me though I'd have to say something if it kept happening.

homer911

If her manager is any good, they should have picked up on this a long time ago and addressed it - talk to your manager in the first instance

silent_spark

While your colleague sounds a little annoying, it seems like you’re letting her get to you too much. So what if she’s doing extra work, or arranging her workload differently to you? How does that impact on your work? Let her get on with it. Perhaps she is getting extra assignments because she prioritizes them, and that’s what your supervisor wants? If you want to do extra work, or different assignments, have you told your supervisor that you’re interested and available to do that? If I’m doling extra work out, I’m absolutely going to give it to a colleague who delivers, is enthusiastic, and is capable of managing their workload.

Edit: In terms of her being irritating, rude, talking over you etc - every time she does it, highlight it and try to be firm. Hopefully she’ll cop on eventually.

Neames

Like Silent_Spark says, your colleague seems annoying for sure.

But I can't fathom why you need to reference the fact that she's an only child and that apparently she has no friends.

You can't control her but you can try and control how you react to her. I'd advise just trying to not let her behaviour affect you so much.

cloudatlas

silent_spark wrote: »

While your colleague sounds a little annoying, it seems like you’re letting her get to you too much. So what if she’s doing extra work, or arranging her workload differently to you? How does that impact on your work? Let her get on with it. Perhaps she is getting extra assignments because she prioritizes them, and that’s what your supervisor wants? If you want to do extra work, or different assignments, have you told your supervisor that you’re interested and available to do that? If I’m doling extra work out, I’m absolutely going to give it to a colleague who delivers, is enthusiastic, and is capable of managing their workload.

Edit: In terms of her being irritating, rude, talking over you etc - every time she does it, highlight it and try to be firm. Hopefully she’ll cop on eventually.

I do deliver and manage my work load the ‘enthusiasm’ is fake one up man ship but if the boss says I want this done in three weeks time I won’t drop everything and do it the same day. I could ignore if that’s just how they are but a) we are supposed to be a team and b) this person is sneering at me trying to get under my skin.

I absolutely refuse to play the game and start shouting out what I’m doing and cutting my lunches short so I can get the work that is due in three weeks in one day just for petty reasons. I actually have loads of other work to be doing some of which she doesn’t have to do!

I would normally occasionally say I’ve done X but because the atmosphere is so toxic and competitive I’ve opted out because I don’t want to encourage it.

wirelessdude01

cloudatlas wrote:

I absolutely refuse to play the game and start shouting out what I’m doing and cutting my lunches short so I can get the work that is due in three weeks in one day just for petty reasons. I actually have loads of other work to be doing some of which she doesn’t have to do!

Will you be saying the same thing if you get passed over for promotion for the young upstart?

cloudatlas

wirelessdude01 wrote: »

Will you be saying the same thing if you get passed over for promotion for the young upstart?

Ugh we're the same age, there are no promotion opportunities and in fact this person has expressed fear at seeking any kind of employment change that would put them out of their comfort zone so no I don't find them a threat in that regard I just don't appreciate being undermined in my work place. I think some of the folks who are replying to tell me that this is how I should behave are competitive themselves, I work in a small office in a non competitive field, I'm not a lawyer or a journalist there is no reason to try and get one over on anybody at all.

wirelessdude01

cloudatlas wrote:

Ugh we're the same age, there are no promotion opportunities and in fact this person has expressed fear at seeking any kind of employment change that would put them out of their comfort zone so no I don't find them a threat in that regard I just don't appreciate being undermined in my work place. I think some of the folks who are replying to tell me that this is how I should behave are competitive themselves, I work in a small office in a non competitive field, I'm not a lawyer or a journalist there is no reason to try and get one over on anybody at all.

From past experience he/she who shouts loudest get on. Not necessarily in that company but within their profession as Ireland is a small country and each field is smaller still.

cloudatlas

wirelessdude01 wrote: »

From past experience he/she who shouts loudest get on. Not necessarily in that company but within their profession as Ireland is a small country and each field is smaller still.

It’s a good thing I don’t live in Ireland anymore then. There is no job to be promoted to anyway we have to leave our department to be promoted and they are filling those jobs by training current members of staff on how to do our job concurrently with their role so they don’t have to create a position.

So the advice is behave in a childish competitive way then.

Nikki Sixx

Workplaces are a nightmare over all. I long to be self employed. I’m not the arse licking type and one guy at work has his tongue buried in the boss’ hole permanently. Another guy says “getting up at six isn’t early.” Some days I’m like just shoot me! ;-)

silent_spark

cloudatlas wrote: »

So the advice is behave in a childish competitive way then.

No, the advice is to let her get on with her career advancement however she sees fit. If she’s being as unprofessional as you’re suggesting, then it’s not going to get her far. Honestly, it sounds like you have a chip on your shoulder and that you’re the one behaving childishly - that’s just how you’re coming across here. You’re going to come across people you don’t like during your career, you need to learn to live with it to a certain extent. If she starts talking over you or undermining you publicly, then calmly call her out on it, otherwise just keep your head down and leave her to it.

cloudatlas

silent_spark wrote: »

No, the advice is to let her get on with her career advancement however she sees fit. If she’s being as unprofessional as you’re suggesting, then it’s not going to get her far. Honestly, it sounds like you have a chip on your shoulder and that you’re the one behaving childishly - that’s just how you’re coming across here. You’re going to come across people you don’t like during your career, you need to learn to live with it to a certain extent. If she starts talking over you or undermining you publicly, then calmly call her out on it, otherwise just keep your head down and leave her to it.

I haven’t acted on any feelings so no im not behaving childishly. I came here for advice.

cloudatlas

Neames wrote: »

But I can't fathom why you need to reference the fact that she's an only child and that apparently she has no friends.

The only child comment was because I'm just trying to understand why she feels the need to shout out all the time and feels so insecure, someone who is secure in their abilities is fine with casually saying what they've done on occasion and getting on with their work but she needs our boss to constantly be aware of what she is doing and she needs me to know as well because she tells me. I brought up the fact that she has no friends because I'm aware that people may think that I am being unfriendly to her which is why she behaves in this way which isn't the case. The people saying just get over it, I've put up with it for 2 1/2 years we aren't just in the job trying to find our way we are old hands here. She isn't doing it for career advancement a job came up that was withdrawn due to budget constraints and she didn't apply for it.

skallywag

I can see your point to some extent OP.

Constantly shouting out what she is doing, etc., would also get on my nerves. I have also worked with people who are like this during my own career, and have learned that the best way to deal with such folk is just to ignore them and keep my head down. The general consensus among my co-workers was that this person is just an asshole.

That said, I do not see from your description how this person is out to get you in any way. It sounds to me that she is hyper enthusiastic when in the work place, buzzing about from one place to the next, and actually enjoying getting more and more work done. If she decides to do tasks immediately or to take a short lunch to get something done, then just leave her to it, that is her decision to do so. As you go through your career you are going to have to learn how to prevent such things from getting you down. You need to work at a cadence which is comfortable to yourself, and to hell with what anyone else around you is doing (provided of course that you are performing still to a level which is up to par, which I am sure that you are in any case).

Agree with the others that the only child comment leaves your post down in general though, and frankly comes across as childish and insensitive. Is your implication that any only child reading this with the intention of giving advice is craving constant affirmation and attention? I am sure that you do not mean that, but it reads that way.

Always Tired

cloudatlas wrote: »

Ugh we're the same age, there are no promotion opportunities and in fact this person has expressed fear at seeking any kind of employment change that would put them out of their comfort zone so no I don't find them a threat in that regard I just don't appreciate being undermined in my work place.

So there is literally no reason for you to care about her BS other than ego. There's no promotion available and she doesn't want to lose her job so is trying to make herself look indispensable. you have no reason to compete so stop caring about it. or look for somewhere else if she gets your nerves that much. but there's always some complete toolbag at any job I find. In fact you're lucky if there's only one!

cloudatlas

skallywag wrote: »

I can see your point to some extent OP.

Constantly shouting out what she is doing, etc., would also get on my nerves. I have also worked with people who are like this during my own career, and have learned that the best way to deal with such folk is just to ignore them and keep my head down. The general consensus among my co-workers was that this person is just an asshole.

That said, I do not see from your description how this person is out to get you in any way. It sounds to me that she is hyper enthusiastic when in the work place, buzzing about from one place to the next, and actually enjoying getting more and more work done. If she decides to do tasks immediately or to take a short lunch to get something done, then just leave her to it, that is her decision to do so. As you go through your career you are going to have to learn how to prevent such things from getting you down. You need to work at a cadence which is comfortable to yourself, and to hell with what anyone else around you is doing (provided of course that you are performing still to a level which is up to par, which I am sure that you are in any case).

Agree with the others that the only child comment leaves your post down in general though, and frankly comes across as childish and insensitive. Is your implication that any only child reading this with the intention of giving advice is craving constant affirmation and attention? I am sure that you do not mean that, but it reads that way.

Well I’d say the fact that she is an only child is significant in her case as she stated she was happy to be an only child as she didn’t have to share anything and compete for anything which is true of her now.

She smirks at me and makes sure to tell me what work has been sent to her which she doesn’t have to, after two years I know the ‘enthusiasm,’ is competitive she’s the type of person who can’t triumph unless someone else has their face rubbed in it.It would be easy to ignore if it was a larger team but it’s just the two of us.

Anyhoo the prevailing advice is say nothing and try to ignore so I’ll continue to apply for other jobs and ignore it.

Sorry to offend any other only children.

pjdarcy

Life's too short OP. Dust off the old CV and get out of there.

turbbo

homer911 wrote: »

If her manager is any good, they should have picked up on this a long time ago and addressed it - talk to your manager in the first instance

Good managers are few and far between. Counting on them to sort your problems could very much backfire. I worked with people like this before and they usually get rewarded in companies that are badly managed and end up leaving well managed companies. That's my life experience.
I sympathize with the OP but my advice would be to try and not focus on that person and concentrate on your own work instead
- that way it doesn't wear on you.
Also as other posters already mentioned if you have any inkling that your manager is useless - dust off your CV.

nibtrix

I've managed someone a bit like your colleague in the past. Everyone is motivated by different things, and from what you say your colleague isn't interested in progression/advancement but is clearly motivated by recognition and praise. People like that can actually be great to have working for you, as you can send all of the annoying admin tasks their way and know that they'll jump right on them and take care of it for you . The benefit of having them there can outweigh the annoyance!

As others have said, it's not really hurting you, although I can understand why it's annoying you. Why don't you approach your boss and have a talk about your own progression, to see if there are new (possibly more senior) responsibilities that you can take on that are not related to what your colleague does? Even if there is no promotion at stake, showing an interest in progression and looking for new responsibilities is a positive thing, and will be remembered if a new role ever does come up...

If there isn't any opportunity to grow, and provided you do want to progress, then it's past time to move on anyway, even without the annoying colleague.
In the meantime, either ignore your colleague, or else politely tell her you don't really care what she's working on and who has sent her work - you don't seem to have much of a relationship to damage anyway!

The interrupting or talking over you is a different thing though. If you're not able/willing to stop that yourself then you should go to your manager about it and make a complaint, but be willing to detail what steps you have taken to try and resolve it.