Where do you draw the line with comedy?

Muppet Man

Around 25 years ago in college, after something particularly stupid happened, I quipped to a small group of people - "no brain, no tumour". One of the group chimed in... "I don't think that's funny, my cousin died of a brain tumour", to which I responded, without thinking, "I doubt they are offended"

Stupid off the cuff remark and I Still feel bad about it...

kunst nugget

A Tyrant Named Miltiades! wrote: »

That's quite fair, but I wasn't so much asking about any negative repercussions for you, as someone making a potentially offensive joke, as for them. Sometimes people will be shocked by a particularly outrageous joke, and they might even articulate that shock as revulsion. But soon, being human, it is forgotten about and it causes no residual harm to anybody.

Perhaps I'm reading your post too literally, but you seem to indicate that your reaction to someone else's offence is to apologise. What if that offence is irrational, or is in bad faith?

After all, human beings are not only equal in our capacity to do great things, but in our capacity to be spiteful and nasty.

More often than not, my jokes are terrible. Sometimes they are even offensive or, at least, could be construed as such. Rarely, they might even be maliciously construed as such.

I don't really disagree with a lot of what you are saying, I think you sound very courteous. I'd just be slightly more wary than you, I think, about an encroaching passivity in humour, where we are so preoccupied with being inoffensive that we cease to find joy and laughter in even the darkest aspects of human existence.

I wouldn't be friends with anyone that is perpetually offended and if I was in a pub with my friends and someone came over to give out about the jokes we were making amongst ourselves I'd tell them to do one. I'm just about to sit down to watch the new Anthony Jeselnik's new special on Netflix and I totally love offensive comedy. The thing is if I'm being offensive in my humour, I'd want the people around me to be on board with it. I'll do that with my wife, my family and my friends... they know where I'm coming from.

If I make a joke about a spastic Jesus rimming Mary Magdalene, they'll be on board... more or less. Mary in accounts that's done the Lough Derg pilgrimage three years in a row definitely isn't. And no explaining to her that no topic is off the table in terms of comedy is going to change that. Likewise, I'm not going to make a crack about the Ana Krigel case to a client and then admonish them for being offended because that would be insane.

Humour can be great in dark situations but you have to take the lead from the person going through that dark situation or know them intimately enough that if you make the joke, they'll understand the context for it. A good friend passed away from cancer recently and we joked about her condition anytime we met up but it's a complete hell no to me doing that to a colleague or a client. Not unless I completely and emphatically know that they are sharing that joke with me. The chances are that realistically I'm never really going to be sharing that sort of intimate friendship with a colleague or a client - I didn't choose to actively have these people in my life, my employer did. Don't get me wrong, I get on well with the people I work with and the clients I have but I don't think of them at all once I'm not in the office. I keep a professional distance between them and my family and friends.

Muppet Man

Muppet Man wrote: »

Around 25 years ago in college, after something particularly stupid happened, I quipped to a small group of people - "no brain, no tumour". One of the group chimed in... "I don't think that's funny, my cousin died of a brain tumour", to which I responded, without thinking, "I doubt they are offended"

Stupid off the cuff remark and I Still feel bad about it...

It's that self-victimising cousin I feel sorry for. Doesn't sound to me like you did anything wrong.

Junkyard Tom

I don't like jokes about disabled people, they make me think of my little Sister.




She used to call me a 'spastic'.

Junkyard Tom

Junkyard Tom wrote: »

I don't like jokes about disabled people, they make me think of my little Sister.




She used to call me a 'spastic'.

Stephen Hawking and Christopher Reeves walk into a bar, and...

Oh, wait

Birneybau

A Tyrant Named Miltiades! wrote: »

Junkyard Tom wrote: »

I don't like jokes about disabled people, they make me think of my little Sister.




She used to call me a 'spastic'.

Stephen Hawking and Christopher Reeves walk into a bar, and...

Oh, wait

And was there a joke in there somewhere?

See, there's edgy and then there's literally that, which doesn't even seem like a joke to me.

Junkyard Tom

Birneybau wrote: »

And was there a joke in there somewhere?

Well I was setting it up like I had a little Sister who was disabled but it turned out the joke was on me!

Yeah?

YEAH?

Birneybau

Junkyard Tom wrote: »

Birneybau wrote: »

And was there a joke in there somewhere?

Well I was setting it up like I had a little Sister who was disabled but it turned out the joke was on me!

Yeah?

YEAH?

Sorry, this damn quoting on phone. My comment was in relation to the follow up of yours.

Birneybau

Birneybau wrote: »

And was there a joke in there somewhere?

See, there's edgy and then there's literally that, which doesn't even seem like a joke to me.

i suppose the point of this is that this joke won't really affect your life, shall it?

It doesn't matter a jot whether you're disabled or not, gay or straight, white or black, you'll soon get on with your life. But for some time, however brief (no offence Junkyard Tom), most people will probably have smiled at his joke. Maybe they even laughed. How wonderful!

Let's not be a drag. If you didnt like the joke, move on. I promise, you'll have soon forgotten it.

Junkyard Tom

I think the general unwritten rule is that 'punching down' is the comedian being a cunt.

Birneybau

A Tyrant Named Miltiades! wrote: »

Birneybau wrote: »

And was there a joke in there somewhere?

See, there's edgy and then there's literally that, which doesn't even seem like a joke to me.

i suppose the point of this is that this joke won't really affect your life, shall it?

It doesn't matter a jot whether you're disabled or not, gay or straight, white or black, you'll soon get on with your life. But for some time, however brief (no offence Junkyard Tom), most people will probably have smiled at his joke. Maybe they even laughed. How wonderful!

Let's not be a drag. If you didnt like the joke, move on. I promise, you'll have soon forgotten it.

I just literally couldn't gauge it as a joke.

Birneybau

A Tyrant Named Miltiades! wrote: »

Birneybau wrote: »

And was there a joke in there somewhere?

See, there's edgy and then there's literally that, which doesn't even seem like a joke to me.

i suppose the point of this is that this joke won't really affect your life, shall it?

It doesn't matter a jot whether you're disabled or not, gay or straight, white or black, you'll soon get on with your life. But for some time, however brief (no offence Junkyard Tom), most people will probably have smiled at his joke. Maybe they even laughed. How wonderful!

Let's not be a drag. If you didnt like the joke, move on. I promise, you'll have soon forgotten it.

It was your "joke" I was referring to

Birneybau

Birneybau wrote: »

It was your "joke" I was referring to

In that case I have no defence, but I regret nothing.

prinzeugen

I think the problem is that the definition of a "joke" or "comedy" has been changed. Bob Monkhouse would be in prison if he was still alive!

People get upset about a gay joke yet love ****, alleged "comedy" series like The Office which promotes workplace bullying and find it funny?

prinzeugen

prinzeugen wrote: »

I think the problem is that the definition of a "joke" or "comedy" has been changed. Bob Monkhouse would be in prison if he was still alive!

People get upset about a gay joke yet love ****, alleged "comedy" series like The Office which promotes workplace bullying and find it funny?

maybe I'm misinterpreting this, but are you not just displacing your chosen unecceptable comedy for comedy which may be equally offensive to some, but which you find amusing?

Just let people make jokes, and criticise them if you want to. It seems very simple to me.

grindle

freshpopcorn wrote: »

When I was in sixth class Robert Holohan went missing and when we came back after Christmas the principal gave us this speech about how we must be afraid/erc. All I remember was people telling jokes about it.

This isn't because people are assholes and they hate some rando called Robert Holohan for no reason. Comedy is a coping mechanism and for people who can't fathom outrageous things happening they joke about it to diffuse the tension so it isn't focused harshly on one spot. That's what they think they're doing in their heads anyway, it's hard for a youngster to be aware of how their words can affect others. Being considerate is something most adults are terrible at.

prinzeugen wrote: »

People get upset about a gay joke yet love ****, alleged "comedy" series like The Office which promotes workplace bullying and find it funny?

Ffs. It doesn't promote it, it documents it. It points it out. "Hey hey, this is how to recognise retards and human fallibilities".

The entire point of The Office boils down to "You recognise this, don't you...?" By pointing it out, it makes the people who recognise it less likely to be those types., to be self aware. Good job on missing it though.

Heckler

buckwheat wrote: »

There are limits to my comedy. There are things that I'll never laugh at. The handicapped. Because there's nothing funny about them. Or any deformity. It's like when you see someone look at a little handicapped and go 'ooh, look at him, he's not able-bodied. I am, I'm prejudiced.' Yeah, well, at least the little handicapped fella is able-minded. Unless he's not, it's difficult to tell with the wheelchair ones.

And that people, is how its done. He can be annoying but he can be spot on too.

blade1

Yamanoto wrote: »

Jason Byrne

Be careful not to fall in if you are drawing lines that deep in the barrel!

YFlyer

Charles Ingles wrote: »

What was the joke? Let's hear it .,,,
Also only one topic is off limits when it comes to comedy and that's feminism.
Male comedians use jokes about feminism as a passive aggressive way to mock women.

You can't say what age a lady is?

Homer

I generally try and know my audience when in public and telling what some people might consider edgy/offensive.. it’s not hard to offend someone in 2019 let’s be honest!

suicide_circus

comedy is subjective therefore the position of "the line" is subjective.

i'd be more worried about some pearl clutcher engaging in censorship that a comic making an off colour joke.

YFlyer

Stephen Carr said that one thing about pedophiles hanging outside schools 'their carbon footprint is low.'

MarkY91

For stand up comedy, I don't have a line. Everything is fair game. I love watching vulgar comedians in Netflix.

YFlyer

YFlyer wrote: »

Stephen Carr said that one thing about pedophiles hanging outside schools 'their carbon footprint is low.'

It must be a Sunday thing, my brain is having a time-out... I don't get it?

I assume it's a play on walking/a child's footprint, but mmmnghhh

decky1

I love comedy , the nearer the knuckle the better Frankie Boyle , bernard manning , wish we had more like them , too much talk now about people being offended,it's just a joke to make people laugh and lighten life a bit, relax, if you don't like it why are you listening to it in the first place, 'Never let them stop you laughing'.

strandroad

A Tyrant Named Miltiades! wrote: »

It must be a Sunday thing, my brain is having a time-out... I don't get it?

I assume it's a play on walking/a child's footprint, but mmmnghhh

Staking a place out they don't move much?

Your Face

The OP made a stupid joke at work and someone called them out on it and now they are the offended one.

That's comedy.

Ash.J.Williams

I go to a lot of comedy gigs, lately I've noticed people over 30 seem to have a lot more fun at comedy gigs and the young ones need to confer to see the joke is suitable to laugh at. Kind of the opposite of rebellion.

strandroad

strandroad wrote: »

Staking a place out they don't move much?

Yeah, thought so, as well as a play on a child's footprint.

I've no objection to the material, just seems disappointingly unfunny.

A judge was sentencing a paedophile to prison. How do you plead? says she
Guilty, comes the cry from the box
And how does seven to ten years sound?
Sexy! He replies

Mena Mitty

A Tyrant Named Miltiades! wrote: »

It must be a Sunday thing, my brain is having a time-out... I don't get it?

I assume it's a play on walking/a child's footprint, but mmmnghhh

He is at the school gate waiting for his prey, would be a low carbon footprint. (No emissions)

Driving a diesel guzzling car 40 miles to get to the school gate, would be a high carbon footprint. (Bigger emissions)

...and for 6 marks, what's a medium carbon footprint...

(It's obvious teaching was not my calling in life)

ToddyDoody

All I know is 'sweet statutory' is a very bold thing to say.

wakka12

I am very easy going and unjudgemental, so I would never bring somebody up on their jokes and give out to them about it being hurtful, I dont see the point in making a scene about something that somebody obviously didnt mean to hurt anybody by. Why make them feel bad about the joke?Obviously they were just tyring to get a laugh and they didnt go about it very well. Just dont laugh , that says all that needs to be said, the joke you found distatseful (or the genre)will not be uttered again if nobody is laughing at it, no need to be rude

But having said that, I cant imagine myself finding any jokes about cancer or paedohpilia particularly funny!

Deebles McBeebles

No limits. Frankie Boyle and Anthony Jeselnik do it right.

As a wise man once said; "those was jokes y'all, I was foolin' y'all"

BrokenArrows

In the sand.

BrokenArrows

There is no line.

If comedians make jokes that people find funny then the people who like the jokes will be their audience. If they make unfunny jokes then they won't have a career.

KikiLaRue

BrokenArrows wrote: »

There is no line.

If comedians make jokes that people find funny then the people who like the jokes will be their audience. Of they make unfunny jokes then they won't have a career.

As Joan Rivers found out after 9/11.

She made a joke offensive enough to effectively end her career.

Potential-Monke

KikiLaRue wrote: »

OP are you going to tell us the joke?

After reading this thread, no, I won't bother!

kunst nugget wrote: »

It's a work environment, it's not being down in the pub. You should have the maturity to act in a professional manner in your job and not piss off your colleagues. There's topics I won't bring up or jokes I won't say in work because I'm cognisant of the fact that they could offend.

KikiLaRue wrote: »

For making an insensitive joke and then starting an argument over it.

There's a difference between being at work and being in the pub with your mates, or on stage at a comedy gig. Most workplaces have some kind of dignity and respect policy, employees are expected to maintain a certain standard of decorum.

OP could well face a meeting with HR if he doesn't handle the situation properly.

See, my joke was a follow up to other jokes. There are usually 3 or 4 of us after 6pm, no management (if one could consider it, I'd be 'in charge' but I have no supervisor responsibilities, i'm the next level of escalation). There's literally just us in this entire building, and these are people I socialise with. The person who got upset has made much worse jokes about other topics. I've quite a dark sense of humour, and some of the jokes he made even made me realise that they would seriously offend most people. I still laughed. But then his line is cancer jokes.

I didn't instigate this conversation, it was just my 'turn' to tell a joke. More information would be that the joke I made about cancer wasn't even as funny as the ones I made not 5 minutes beforehand. It's what made me start this thread.

lbc2019 wrote: »

Also, OP, I thought you didn't care? Seems like you do tho.

It may look like I care, but I just wanted to get other peoples opinions on it. I'm ginger, I don't think I can get any more bullying/abuse in my life and I've heard all the insults, and look forward to ones I've never heard before. I cared once upon a time, not any more and I'm healthier for it.

Your Face wrote: »

The OP made a stupid joke at work and someone called them out on it and now they are the offended one.

That's comedy.

Thanks for reading the OP!

I suppose I could have worded it differently, and it wasn't specifically aimed at work place conversations, when it comes to that time in the evening it's like working at one of the lads places, pure relaxed. The friend has since apologised to me for getting upset and realises that it was just a heat of the moment emotional reaction.

KikiLaRue

Potential-Monke wrote: »

See, my joke was a follow up to other jokes. There are usually 3 or 4 of us after 6pm, no management (if one could consider it, I'd be 'in charge' but I have no supervisor responsibilities, i'm the next level of escalation). There's literally just us in this entire building, and these are people I socialise with. The person who got upset has made much worse jokes about other topics. I've quite a dark sense of humour, and some of the jokes he made even made me realise that they would seriously offend most people. I still laughed. But then his line is cancer jokes.

It's about having a bit of cop on.

You might think rape jokes are fine, and that you can make them among people who like dark humour, but unless you're a sociopath you wouldn't make a rape joke if you knew the other person's sister had been raped.

Or if you didn't know, and they said "Dude, my sister was raped" the normal response would be "Sorry man, I didn't know" - not "Well you laugh at other dark jokes so I can make any joke I want".

Who the f**k makes a cancer joke in front of someone who's family are currently going through that? Who makes a dead baby joke to someone who recently lost an infant?

Cop on.

Danzy

Princess Consuela Bananahammock wrote: »

As long as the humour is at observant and not just a sly dig at someone based on race or whatever.

Sometimes you get these really **** jokes that are 90% and 10% humour. That I can personally do without, thank you very much.

Though that may be down to your subjective interpretation of the joke.

Danzy

Ash.J.Williams wrote: »

I go to a lot of comedy gigs, lately I've noticed people over 30 seem to have a lot more fun at comedy gigs and the young ones need to confer to see the joke is suitable to laugh at. Kind of the opposite of rebellion.

There is a significant cohort of people in their 20s who are more puritanical and righteous than we have seen in many, many decades.

Not all by any means.

Ipso

KikiLaRue wrote: »

Who the f**k makes a cancer joke in front of someone who's family are currently going through that? Who makes a dead baby joke to someone who recently lost an infant?

Cop on.

Attention seekers, and most likely of the can give it but can’t take it kind.

KikiLaRue

Danzy wrote: »

There is a significant cohort of people in their 20s who are more puritanical and righteous than we have seen in many, many decades.

Not all by any means.

They won't make fun of the gays.

They won't make fun of religious minorities.

They won't make fun of the blacks.

No craic whatsoever.

Squatter

KikiLaRue wrote: »

They won't make fun of the gays.

They won't make fun of religious minorities.

They won't make fun of the blacks.

No craic whatsoever.

Proof of "their" ability to have a bit of craic is evident from the fact that "they" appointed you as their spokesperson.

Did you not realise that they were taking the p1ss?

Danzy

KikiLaRue wrote: »

They won't make fun of the gays.

They won't make fun of religious minorities.

They won't make fun of the blacks.

No craic whatsoever.

How do you even get there?

Crazy priest.

James Brown

If everyone finds it funny. Know your audience and don't be hateful.

Danzy

Matt Barrett wrote: »

If everyone finds it funny.

That'll be a first.

James Brown

Danzy wrote: »

That'll be a first.

Well, see it's a joke and aren't offended. It could happen!

skallywag

Potential-Monke wrote: »

My joke was about cancer

Depends on the context, but you have already said that you are not willing to let us know exactly what you said.

Making a joke about Cancer itself is one thing, making a Cancer victim the funny part of your joke is a cnut's trick.

Making a joke with senior citizens at their expense as was done more than a couple of times in years gone by on BBC2. Also don't have time for the Chubby guy forget his surname and his sexual humour.

ILoveYourVibes

People say Robin Williams went PC ...he also broke through to Hollywood though.