Would you allow your teens to use drugs/alcohol?

noubliezjamais

I'm posting here after the thread in AH about how one poster seem to know that his well of 16yr old niece/nephew and their friends used coke, alcohol and ecstasy every weekend.

Maybe it's just the social circle I'm in but my parents are non-Iris (from Africa) and I'd say they'd be pretty much against using drugs of any kind. Even despite being 21. It seems though that in general, they aren't in to the "pub culture" of Ireland. Their African friends also share similar sentiments.

I'm not against or for drugs but I wonder if most parents you'd know are okay with their teens using drugs/alcohol. It seems for most, alcohol is the limit and anything illegal isn't acceptable but according to some posters and friends I know irl, using ecstasy and cocaine is rampant even among adults!

Then again it might be confirmation bias.

Cabaal

Vast majority are not ok with it by far,

It's not rampent, but like everything if you are involved in a group and everyone in that group does something you think everyone does that thing.

neris

Depending on age Id say alcohol would be more acceptable amongst parents I know but drugs would be a definite not. I think our views on alcohol here are alot more relaxed then they would be towards drugs.

mordeith

Whatever your views on drugs are the fact is that using illegal drugs is funding criminal gangs which are destroying neighborhoods. Alcohol is no less devastating a drug for some people but it's legality makes it a lot more acceptable for obvious reasons.

Fall_Guy

noubliezjamais wrote: »

I'm posting here after the thread in AH about how one poster seem to know that his well of 16yr old niece/nephew and their friends used coke, alcohol and ecstasy every weekend.

Maybe it's just the social circle I'm in but my parents are non-Iris (from Africa) and I'd say they'd be pretty much against using drugs of any kind. Even despite being 21. It seems though that in general, they aren't in to the "pub culture" of Ireland. Their African friends also share similar sentiments.

I'm not against or for drugs but I wonder if most parents you'd know are okay with their teens using drugs/alcohol. It seems for most, alcohol is the limit and anything illegal isn't acceptable but according to some posters and friends I know irl, using ecstasy and cocaine is rampant even among adults!

Then again it might be confirmation bias.

I don't really have a problem with recreational drug use among adults. It has its pitfalls obviously and some people are more vulnerable to them than others, but I reckon adults should be free to use drugs providing they aren't impinging on the well being of others.

Teenagers brains are still developing however, and drug use at a young age has been shown to be detrimental to development of those brains and can have a far greater long term negative effect on a teenage user than an adult recreational user who never took drugs as a teenager.

I'd be liberal in my views towards drug use, but wouldn't particularly be delighted for my children to use them as adults, and would absolutely not allow them to use them as teenagers.

witchgirl26

I wouldn't be ok with illegal drugs being used but can see why parents may allow alcohol. As teenagers from 16 years old, we were allowed to drink at home. By that I mean we were offered a glass of wine with Sunday dinner when my parents were having it or were allowed a beer or alcopop if there was an occasion. Honestly it just meant that that alcohol was de-mystified for me so it didn't hold the same intrigue for me. I never drank in a field or anything like that because there was no need to. And to this day I'm not a big drinker. I think I will follow a similar attitude for my kids.

Drugs on the other hand are just a straight no-no for me. I don't know anyone who does drugs (apart from a couple of people who may have the odd joint but even that's quite rare).

Big Bag of Chips

I'd be very surprised at any "normal" parent allowing their 16 year old to use cocaine. They might allow their 16 year old drink, but I can't really see them giving their blessing to go off and take cocaine or ecstacy.

That doesn't mean 16 year olds aren't doing it.

The_Honeybadger

Big Bag of Chips wrote: »

I'd be very surprised at any "normal" parent allowing their 16 year old to use cocaine. They might allow their 16 year old drink, but I can't really see them giving their blessing to go off and take cocaine or ecstacy.

That doesn't mean 16 year olds aren't doing it.

The only situation I could see drug use being permitted among teens is if the parents are users themselves. I actually know a single mother who allowed her son use drugs and drink alcohol freely in the house when underage, she actually bought it for him. She is quite respectable on the face of it and has a good job etc but loves a line of coke on a session and they actually go on benders together semi often now. It’s really really bizarre in my eyes.

He is in his early twenties now and has been in serious trouble with the law a few times, nothing malicious, just stupid drunken / drugged up behaviour. It’s hard not to imagine that his upbringing was a factor in this.

AndrewJRenko

Fall_Guy wrote: »

I'd be liberal in my views towards drug use, but wouldn't particularly be delighted for my children to use them as adults, and would absolutely not allow them to use them as teenagers.

I agree with your views, but unless you're going to lock them up in an ivory tower, you can't guarantee that teens won't experiment. Once their out of your sight at a disco or a sleepover, there is a chance that someone somewhere will get access to alcohol - possibly using these services.

witchgirl26 wrote: »

I wouldn't be ok with illegal drugs being used but can see why parents may allow alcohol. As teenagers from 16 years old, we were allowed to drink at home. By that I mean we were offered a glass of wine with Sunday dinner when my parents were having it or were allowed a beer or alcopop if there was an occasion. Honestly it just meant that that alcohol was de-mystified for me so it didn't hold the same intrigue for me. I never drank in a field or anything like that because there was no need to. And to this day I'm not a big drinker. I think I will follow a similar attitude for my kids.

This isn't an unusual approach, but I understand the research shows that this really isn't the best approach - that keeping them away from alcohol all together makes it more likely that they will stay away from it longer and drink less.

noubliezjamais

Fall_Guy wrote: »

I don't really have a problem with recreational drug use among adults. It has its pitfalls obviously and some people are more vulnerable to them than others, but I reckon adults should be free to use drugs providing they aren't impinging on the well being of others.

Teenagers brains are still developing however, and drug use at a young age has been shown to be detrimental to development of those brains and can have a far greater long term negative effect on a teenage user than an adult recreational user who never took drugs as a teenager.

I'd be liberal in my views towards drug use, but wouldn't particularly be delighted for my children to use them as adults, and would absolutely not allow them to use them as teenagers.

Funnily enough though there was an article that said teenagers who smoke weed are more "intelligent"/better performing academically than those who smoke cigarettes.

witchgirl26

AndrewJRenko wrote: »

This isn't an unusual approach, but I understand the research shows that this really isn't the best approach - that keeping them away from alcohol all together makes it more likely that they will stay away from it longer and drink less.

Really? I would have thought it was the opposite. Most people I know who were kept away from alcohol and whose parents never drank in front of them etc (not getting drunk btw, but just having a drink) were the ones who went a bit mental on drink at about 16 as a rebelling thing. Realistically I had nothing to rebel against when it came to alcohol because it was available to me.

Big Bag of Chips

I think it is very much a personal thing. Neither of my parents have ever drank. We certainly weren't given glasses of wine or alco-pops at home. I'm not a huge drinker, could take it or leave it. I have 2 siblings who don't drink at all, and 2 others who enjoy a drink, have had the odd 'over did it night', probably had a few cans in a field in their time but nothing major.

Edit: my husband's parents would be moderate drinkers. Wouldn't see anything wrong with a 15 year old having a can or 2 etc. 3 of his siblings are functioning alcoholics (actually one of them isn't even functioning).

I grew up in the country, he grew up in working class Dublin. Maybe that had a bigger influence.

pwurple

As a parent, and an ethical human being, I would make sure my children knew about the damage "recreational" illegal drugs do to the world around them. Poverty, criminality, violence, tax evasion, corruption, war etc. I'd also discourage them from consuming anything which was potentially smuggled into the country up someone's ass in a condom, and is not regulated in terms of safety or purity, for their own health.

I don't have those same ethical difficulties with alcohol.

Fall_Guy

noubliezjamais wrote: »

Funnily enough though there was an article that said teenagers who smoke weed are more "intelligent"/better performing academically than those who smoke cigarettes.

As a former weed-smoking teenager that sure didn't pan out in my case

noubliezjamais

witchgirl26 wrote: »

Really? I would have thought it was the opposite. Most people I know who were kept away from alcohol and whose parents never drank in front of them etc (not getting drunk btw, but just having a drink) were the ones who went a bit mental on drink at about 16 as a rebelling thing. Realistically I had nothing to rebel against when it came to alcohol because it was available to me.

I think this is true. It's apparently why if you look at different cultures (European vs American) the U.S. has a problem with binge drinking than here. Granted, there isn't much a problem with socializing and alcohol like here, but it seems in general, European nations have better attitudes towards alcohol because the "taboo" is taken away.

Big Bag of Chips

I think it is too simple to put it down to exposure to alcohol/limiting alcohol. We have a drink culture in Ireland. Everything revolves around drink. When I first started going out with my husband I went to his niece's first birthday party. It was a birthday party for a 1 year old baby. All his family arrived with bags of cans. I couldn't believe it. Drink wasn't a thing in our house because my parents don't drink. I'd never been at a child's party that was a piss up for adults.

Every occasion in his family involves drink. And now his nieces and nephews are adults and they are continuing on the example learnt from their parents. His niece recently had a baby. Her Christening was a few weeks ago. The invitations were a photograph of the baby with a can of lager photoshopped into the baby's hand. The night before the Christening she put up a similar photo of the baby with the caption "Can't wait to get my bag of cans for my big day tomorrow".

These are people that drink was never taboo for them. Maybe they'd be better off if it had been.

AndrewJRenko

witchgirl26 wrote: »

Really? I would have thought it was the opposite. Most people I know who were kept away from alcohol and whose parents never drank in front of them etc (not getting drunk btw, but just having a drink) were the ones who went a bit mental on drink at about 16 as a rebelling thing. Realistically I had nothing to rebel against when it came to alcohol because it was available to me.

noubliezjamais wrote: »

I think this is true. It's apparently why if you look at different cultures (European vs American) the U.S. has a problem with binge drinking than here. Granted, there isn't much a problem with socializing and alcohol like here, but it seems in general, European nations have better attitudes towards alcohol because the "taboo" is taken away.

Research suggests the opposite;



https://www.thejournal.ie/alcohol-children-protection-3824754-Feb2018/


https://eu.usatoday.com/story/news/2018/01/25/study-parents-who-give-their-teenagers-alcohol-inviting-trouble/1067481001/


https://www.thedrinksbusiness.com/2018/11/would-you-give-your-children-alcohol/