thinking of number 2

hoareni

Currently have a 21mth old who has started the terrible two's early and giving us a hard time but am still thinking of number 2! Im 37 so if were gonna do it, it will have to be soon. My son had severe reflux and has a dairy, egg and soy allergy and is still on neocate milk for the CMPA allergy. Not quite sure what Im asking here but I guess anyone any experience with that kind of age gap and managing all those food allergies.......am I mad to be thinking of number 2???!

shesty

Em...no. You aren't! My first was 21 months when my second was born.My second was 25 months when no. 3 was born.(we were lucky to be able to concieve easily)
You just manage it.I can't really say it any other way.I don't really know how the food allergies impact your decision to be honest. They just are what they are. The first 8 months/year is hard, and then it gets a bit easier. My thinking was I couldn't imagine anything worse than getting the first out of nappies and independent and then going back for a second to start all over again when the first was 4 or 5. But it's personal choice. If you feel you are thinking of going again and are ready for it, then go for it.Also be aware that no. 2 could be a completely different child and have no issues at all. It happens.

lazygal

We had a 15 months gap between our first two. Looking back, I was a zombie for a large part of the first six months. This was because my first was an 'easy' baby and I had expected the same with number two, but he was just a very different personality. After a year or so it was fine. We had number three when they were five and six and it's different again. There's no right or wrong age gap. I will say that you have to factor in delays in getting pregnant. It took me much longer at 35 than it did at 30.

hoareni

I suppose cause my little boy had allergies from day 1 and didnt sleep at all for the first 6 weeks until we changed the milk, and then ended up changing it 3 more times, the severe reflux and massive pukes coming out his nose and gasping for breath, then the 5 mths of severe bottle aversion and weaning was difficult with all the food allergies. Ideally I would have liked a bigger gap but not the way it has worked out! Im just constantly sick at the moment, think its tiredness and sickness from creche. I guess im just having a chat out loud about what I should do!!

Digs

There’s similar gaps between my 3. Youngest is 6 months today and eldest just turned 6. Lady in between is 3 next month.
My eldest was the most high maintenance out of them all and honestly we found it infinitely easier when the second came along. For numerous reasons but mainly because we knew what to expect, our expectations were lower and we knew that every phase wasn’t going to last forever. I was better prepared, more relaxed and more confident and I really think that had a knock on for the whole family. It may sound odd but we are a way more relaxed and chilled family with three compared to one!! Except the noise and the shouting

The second baby also had a really positive affect on my eldest. She craved attention and still does so having a sister (or sibling) close in age was the best thing for her. They’re great friends now.... that is when they’re not killing each other.

Like the others have said there are so many factors to consider but in my experience the age gap you describe is absolutely fine.

For what it’s worth my older two are like night and day in every single way. Eldest had a dairy intolerance, mild eczema and the second has no issues like that, third is the mirror image of the second so it isn’t guaranteed medical issues will be replicated.

drunkmonkey

Do it and the closer the better, they can entertain themselves. Maybe try breastfeeding with the next if you can. We had no issues with 3 but all breastfed from anything from 6mts to 9mts.

mitresize5

get it done,

not from the lack of trying our first was 5.5 when number two arrived.

Right back to square one, how easy you forget.

Your as well to get it all out the way in one go

hoareni

"get it done"

annoyedgal

Yep agree with all the others, just go for it! Took me longer second time round at 37 than my first at 35 so wouldn't wait too long.
2 and a half year gap and was very manageable. Sounds like you had a rough time of it but baby no 2 could be total opposite. My second had silent reflux ( breastfed) and still a very windy baby with digestive issues and gets every cold or viral infection on the go! My son was so rarely sick and a dream feeder so you just can't tell!

shesty

I have been known to say "just rip the bandage off and do it" I admit.
We are like Digs. No.2 gives you a heap more perspective. No.3 is mostly running his own show :-) It involves a lot of muck.
They are best of frenemies and it's lovely to watch.Takes the pressure off you in it's own way,
just expect the first few months to be a lot of work