Washing a child's mouth out with soap.

Der Stier

Mrs OBumble wrote: »

You'd be better off addressing the problem of your kid's foul mouth. To get that sort of reaction they must have been pretty bad, not just messing.

What nonsense!
Very serious issue, this is POISON!
This stuff can cause cancer, OP take this to the law!!

OldMrBrennan83

Don't do anything except going to whatever body runs this group and the Gardai about it.

_Brian

Mrs OBumble wrote: »

You'd be better off addressing the problem of your kid's foul mouth. To get that sort of reaction they must have been pretty bad, not just messing.

I’d agree somewhat in getting to the root of what exactly was going on. Not that what happened is an acceptable reaction but I’d be coming down hard on the kid too for misbehaving and letting themselves down too.

Zorya

_Brian wrote: »

I’d agree somewhat in getting to the root of what exactly was going on. Not that what happened is an acceptable reaction but I’d be coming down hard on the kid too for misbehaving and letting themselves down too.

A nine year old cursing? Coming down hard? Letting themselves down? It's only some curse words that they have probably heard hundreds of times around them on streets, media, other kids. It's not a calamity! It's natural for children to imitate and be inappropriate. Just tell them do not curse (or there will be some reaction, such as no games access etc). Or at least tell them do not curse aloud!

I can't believe some people think there is any possible justification for pushing a noxious object/substance into a child's mouth. Yikes.

FishOnABike

_Brian wrote: »

I’d agree somewhat in getting to the root of what exactly was going on. Not that what happened is an acceptable reaction but I’d be coming down hard on the kid too for misbehaving and letting themselves down too.

There's a balance to be struck between educating them not to curse because people find it offensive and educating them that it is not OK for someone to assault them.

In this case I think it is more important to educate them that it is not OK for someone to assault them and be more concerned that further punishing them would make them afraid to report any inappropriate action in future.

I would be furious at this adult's inappropriate actions and concerned about the level of oversight and child protection policies + practices in the organisation as a whole.

There are far better ways of dealing with a bit of swearing without resorting to assaulting children.

The children have already been (more than) disciplined. It may provide a valid opportunity to show them it is not OK for someone to assault them, they don't have to accept being mistreated and that there are consequences for adults who misbehave too.

It is important that a child has someone they can trust and feel safe to report any mistreatment to and that it will be taken seriously. Abusers often use fear of further punishment to control and silence their victims.

I don't think the adult in question here should be in any position of authority with children or allowed to work with children. That they were so gormless as to practically boast about it to the OP's wife only shows how clueless they are about how unacceptable their actions were.

I would not be happy unless they were removed from the organisation.

Widdershins

No. Just No.

Pretty sure that was meant to be a figure of speech even in the old days.

spurious

Widdershins wrote:

Pretty sure that was meant to be a figure of speech even in the old days.

That's what I thought too. OP was this in a country with quite different cultural attitudes to European ones?

simongurnick

spurious wrote: »

That's what I thought too. OP was this in a country with quite different cultural attitudes to European ones?

No, not all. We are in Canada. Appreciate the responses here as it has given me a few ideas. Seriously thinking of going to the local law.

flexcon

My own mother did this to my Brother and myself when we were 12. We both lied about something and had that lovely soap rubbed on our mouths - 2002

Can't remember when I lied again....

jam_mac_jam

Yeah it abusive, especially for something like a curse. Pathetic parents. If you can’t discipline a child by speaking to them then there is something very wrong. I can understand a smack, I wouldn’t do it but can understand why you might. Anybody who does this to a child has problems. Never justified.

Immortal Starlight

Revolting disgusting and horrifying that any grown adult would even imagine it was ok to subject a child to this. This person should never be allowed to be in charge of children.

Neyite

It's assault. I don't physically discipline my child so I would be furious if someone else decided to physically discipline my child.



I think I would just contact the local police to investigate. Someone who uses physical punishment should not be put in charge of children activities, and it seems like an ott reaction to what is a fairly normal behaviour amongst 9 year old boys.

daheff

so here is what you should do imo


1- check with your local dr as to what steps if any you should take to ensure child is medically ok. It might be none, it might be dr takes it as a serious issue. most of us are not medical professionals and not competent to properly assess this issue.

2-Take the child out of the organisation. No more going to these events where the organisers treat children like this. Its not acceptable.

3-Report the incident to the local authorities. God knows what else this individual has done to other children as 'discipline'

4-Talk with your child. Let them know what happened to them isn't acceptable. EVER. Ask them to explain what happened as best they can.

Also talk with them about bad language (especially in front of adults) isn't really acceptable as its upsetting for some people. There are boundaries and they need to know when they need to use a little more cop on. I have no problem with bad language but i don't want to hear my kids curse at me (or hear me curse).

branie2

Jo Frost dealt with this in an episode of Super Nanny

Pawwed Rig

I have been thinking about this all morning and have to say I would be livid. I am not sure what my response would be as it would depend on the exact circumstances but there would definitely be a response.

jam_mac_jam

I didn't see that this was an organisation. I would go mad if somebody did that to my kid. Yeah obviously shouldn't be cursing but that is not an appropriate response. Disgusting.

I am actually amazed that this is a thing. Thought it was just a saying or a threat.

Sardonicat

branie2 wrote: »

Jo Frost dealt with this in an episode of Super Nanny

Did she say " This is not ass-ceptable?
What did she deal with? Kids swearing or adults forcing them to rinse their mouths put with soapy water?

OP, am I right in thinking the boys were in their tent saying 'bad' words and were overhead by someone outside the tent?
Talk about an over reaction to little boys behaving like little boys. I've worked with that age group of kids and if I'd passed the tent and heard that I would have found it funny and turned a deaf ear. I would only have acted on that if they were swearing openly or being verbally abusive. It's really not that big a deal. And to commit an assault on the children as a response is appalling. You must take this further because the organisation responsible must review it's child protection policies, training and staff. I mean, if the person who did this can openly admit doing it what else could she be capable of that she would be less inclined to disclose?

Lulz @ all the millennial parents threatening to stab anyone that tells their child to Stop being bold.

Sardonicat

Bam Bam Mickey wrote: »

Lulz @ all the millennial parents threatening to stab anyone that tells their child to Stop being bold.

No one is doing that. Would you care to quote the posts where people object to children being asked to behave?

jam_mac_jam

Bam Bam Mickey wrote: »

Lulz @ all the millennial parents threatening to stab anyone that tells their child to Stop being bold.

Lulz not a millennial lulz
Objecting to the abuse. Not threatening to stab anyone.

branie2

Sardonicat wrote: »

Did she say " This is not ass-ceptable?
What did she deal with? Kids swearing or adults forcing them to rinse their mouths put with soapy water?

OP, am I right in thinking the boys were in their tent saying 'bad' words and were overhead by someone outside the tent?
Talk about an over reaction to little boys behaving like little boys. I've worked with that age group of kids and if I'd passed the tent and heard that I would have found it funny and turned a deaf ear. I would only have acted on that if they were swearing openly or being verbally abusive. It's really not that big a deal. And to commit an assault on the children as a response is appalling. You must take this further because the organisation responsible must review it's child protection policies, training and staff. I mean, if the person who did this can openly admit doing it what else could she be capable of that she would be less inclined to disclose?

The latter, but the soap was from a dispenser bottle

Glass fused light

simongurnick wrote: »

Interested to hear some views on this....thanks

The adult gave three children a noxious substance?
As previously posted that is child abuse.
Contact the other 2 parents to make sure that they know what happened.
This adult should know that this is unacceptable (on so many levels), make a complaint to the Canadian police and the child protection services.
Also make a complaint to the organisation you trusted your child to.
If this is seen as "acceptable" to the other adults on the trip I would also check out another organisation's child protection awareness, that your child attends.

This is not a dig at you but if you were not sure on what to do, I would suggest reading parenting books on what are acceptable disiplinary measures.

simongurnick

Update.
The scouts (regional safety team) got back to me at 930 am this morning. Leader in question has been identified, put on suspension and an investigation commenced. They have also reported to the police and child services.
We have also reported to the police and are waiting for an officer to come by.

Still livid on so many levels. I will deal with my boy for his part but also let him know this morning that what happened to him is unacceptable and me and his mum were dealing with it. He said " yeah I know, that's what I told the other boys". It ruined his whole weekend and has probably totally put him off scouts. For the record, our experience with that group has been fantastic, but now one gob****e has tarnished it all. I have 5 kids and wouldn't even dream of doing something like this. I am not perfect and have lost the rag on them from time to time but something like this is so degrading, as well as dangerous to swallow. I coach under 8 soccer too and wouldn't dream of doing anything physical to someone else's kid.

Again, thanks for the responses. My normal response would be to go absolutely ballistic but I wanted to get some objective views first.

SCOOP 64

Op just curious did all the other parents whos kids were involve back you?

simongurnick

SCOOP 64 wrote: »

Op just curious did all the other parents whos kids were involve back you?

Haven't been in direct contact with them but I know the investigation is involving 3 kids and their parents, so assuming we are all on the same page.

Mrs OBumble

Mrs OBumble wrote: »

You'd be better off addressing the problem of your kid's foul mouth. To get that sort of reaction they must have been pretty bad, not just messing.

Yeah..... kids that using their mouths to make noises that make other people feel sad deserve to be doused with sickening chemicals that aren't intended to be consumed.

Is this what your type call.... victim blaming?


I'd tell you what I think of you, but you'd probably blame my parents and not realise that in fact I am right.

daheff

simongurnick wrote: »

Haven't been in direct contact with them but I know the investigation is involving 3 kids and their parents, so assuming we are all on the same page.

Don’t assume they know. Make sure they do. A lot of these Organisation tend to forget to tell people what’s happened....try to bury it.
I know if this happened to one of my kids i’d want to be told about it.

Odyssey 2005

Nothing wrong with it.

Musefan

Report to Tusla via their online system or standard report form. If this is a form of discipline they thought it okay to share with a parent imagine what they don’t tell the parents.

Tombom1

Denatonium I use it to keep certain animals away from the garden but a small bit works a charm https://youtu.be/zbJjNIRSZQk. Completely harmless unlike soap.