How is a man supposed to find a woman in the 21st century

OMM 0000

eviltwin wrote: »

Not sure that makes sense. If a woman tells you she's happy with her life and doesn't regret not having children who are you to tell her it was a bad decision?

If she's being genuine, of course it's not a bad decision. The problem is, and deep down you know this, a lot of women put their career first, then realise they've run out of time to have kids, and regret it. And many will try to hide the fact they regret it.

Can you at least admit that does happen?

Again I'm not talking about women who can't have kids, or who's children died, or anything along those lines.

Wanderer2010

OMM 0000 wrote: »

If she's being genuine, of course it's not a bad decision. The problem is, and deep down you know this, a lot of women put their career first, then realise they've run out of time to have kids, and regret it. And many will try to hide the fact they regret it.

Can you at least admit that does happen?

Again I'm not talking about women who can't have kids, or who's children died, or anything along those lines.

How old are you?

eviltwin

OMM 0000 wrote: »

If she's being genuine, of course it's not a bad decision. The problem is, and deep down you know this, a lot of women put their career first, then realise they've run out of time to have kids, and regret it. And many will try to hide the fact they regret it.

Can you at least admit that does happen?

Of course it does but that's life. What can you do about it?

B0jangles

OMM 0000 wrote: »

Hang on. You're not being reasonable.

Let's try to compromise. Can you at least admit the majority of women have children?

What does that tell you about whether or not they actively wanted to have them though? In the last 50 or so years we've seen irish women's options with regard to contraception, pregnancy and careers after marriage change beyond all recognition. In that same timeframe, the birthrate has dropped, has it not?


So it would appear that given other choices, a large proportion of the female population will choose either not to have children, or to have far fewer than their mothers and grandmothers had.

OMM 0000

eviltwin wrote: »

Of course it does but that's life. What can you do about it?

I think a start would be better education. A lot of women don't realise it becomes quite difficult to have children after 35ish. I think we need to do a better job educating women about when is the best time to have kids. I don't agree with the current trend of making people believe their career is the most important thing. It's really not.

OMM 0000

B0jangles wrote: »

What does that tell you about whether or not they actively wanted to have them though? In the last 50 or so years we've seen irish women's options with regard to contraception, pregnancy and careers after marriage change beyond all recognition. In that same timeframe, the birthrate has dropped, has it not?

So it would appear that given other choices, a large proportion of the female population will choose either not to have children, or to have far fewer than their mothers and grandmothers had.

OK. Just so we're clear:

My opinion is most women want to have children, and most women have children.

You're saying you don't think that's necessarily true?

ancapailldorcha

OMM 0000 wrote: »

OK. Just so we're clear:

My opinion is most women want to have children, and most women have children.

You're saying you don't think that's necessarily true?

Have you any stats?

OMM 0000

OMM 0000 wrote: »

. I don't agree with the current trend of making people believe their career is the most important thing. It's really not.

A career is just a glorified job. We all know those utterly one dimensional boring people who can only talk about their work.

eviltwin

OMM 0000 wrote: »

I think a start would be better education. A lot of women don't realise it becomes quite difficult to have children after 35ish. I think we need to do a better job educating women about when is the best time to have kids. I don't agree with the current trend of making people believe their career is the most important thing. It's really not.

I'd tell anyone the best time to have kids is when you are mentally and emotionally ready for it

OMM 0000

ancapailldorcha wrote: »

I don't think it is. Have you any stats?

I don't have stats. You're welcome to provide some.

ancapailldorcha

OMM 0000 wrote: »

I don't have stats. You're welcome to provide some.

You made the point so the onus to do so is on you.

OMM 0000

eviltwin wrote: »

I'd tell anyone the best time to have kids is when you are mentally and emotionally ready for it

In a perfect world...

OMM 0000

ancapailldorcha wrote: »

You made the point so the onus to do so is on you.

It's not that important to me.

Let's agree to disagree.

I think most women want to have children, and most women have children, you disagree. That's fine.

B0jangles

OMM 0000 wrote: »

OK. Just so we're clear:

My opinion is most women want to have children, and most women have children.

You're saying you don't think that's necessarily true?

No, I don't think thats necessarily true. I believe, (though I don't have the data to hand) that it has been recorded in many countries, that as soon as women get access to contraception and increased recognition of their human rights, the birthrate drops.

Which would suggest that having children isn't so much a choice as an inevitable consequence of reaching adulthood for most women.

You seem to be asserting that nearly all women want to have children, and those that don't want to have children are lying. It's almost like you cannot comprehend people having motivations that are fundamentally different from your own.

It's extremely odd - google Theory of Mind, you might find it interesting.

OMM 0000

B0jangles wrote: »

No, I don't think thats necessarily true. I believe, (though I don't have the data to hand) that it has been recorded in many countries, that as soon as women get access to contraception and increased recognition of their human rights, the birthrate drops.

Which would suggest that having children isn't so much a choice as an inevitable consequence of reaching adulthood for most women.

You seem to be asserting that nearly all women want to have children, and those that don't want to have children are lying. It's almost like you cannot comprehend people having motivations that are fundamentally different from your own.

It's extremely odd - google Theory of Mind, you might find it interesting.

I'm not saying birthrates aren't dropping. I'm specifically saying:

Most women want to have children, and most women have children.

I never said women are lying. I said they're making a mistake. There's no need to make up things about me so I have to defend things I don't believe.

I believe I've stated that sentence multiple times now.

Wanderer2010

OMM 0000 wrote: »

I'm not saying birthrates aren't dropping. I'm specifically saying:

Most women want to have children, and most women have children.

I never said women are lying. I said they're making a mistake. There's no need to make up things about me so I have to defend things I don't believe.

I believe I've stated that sentence multiple times now.

You are only one person, you don't have the power to state such a fact as "most" women want to have children. What kind of a mindset would even think that? Here is a good assignment for you- why don't you go and interview every single woman on the planet and ask them two questions 1. Do you have children? 2. If not, do you want them?.
Then go away and collate your replies and come back to this thread with your findings.

OMM 0000

Wanderer2010 wrote: »

You are only one person, you don't have the power to state such a fact as "most" women want to have children. What kind of a mindset would even think that? Here is a good assignment for you- why don't you go and interview every single woman on the planet and ask them two questions 1. Do you have children? 2. If not, do you want them?.
Then go away and collate your replies and come back to this thread with your findings.

This isn't a good argument.

Obviously I'm allowed, on boards.ie, to state most women want to have children.



I seriously wonder who I'm talking to sometimes.

If people aren't allowed state their opinion here, on boards.ie, the site wouldn't exist.

eviltwin

OMM 0000 wrote: »

I'm not saying birthrates aren't dropping. I'm specifically saying:

Most women want to have children, and most women have children.

I never said women are lying. I said they're making a mistake. There's no need to make up things about me so I have to defend things I don't believe.

I believe I've stated that sentence multiple times now.

You cannot possibly say it's a mistake for a woman not to have a child, that's reducing a woman down to her ability to reproduce and ignoring everything about her and her life and desires that makes her a unique individual. We are people, not livestock.

OMM 0000

eviltwin wrote: »

You cannot possibly say it's a mistake for a woman not to have a child, that's reducing a woman down to her ability to reproduce and ignoring everything about her and her life and desires that makes her a unique individual. We are people, not livestock.

Jesus, that's not what I'm saying. Obviously not what I'm saying.

The responses are getting crazy now (this is obviously a very emotive topic for some people) so I'm going to drop out now.

eviltwin

OMM 0000 wrote: »

Jesus, that's not what I'm saying. Obviously not what I'm saying.

The responses are getting crazy now (this is obviously a very emotive topic for some people) so I'm going to drop out now.

"I never said women were lying, I said they were making a mistake"

You posted the above.

pq0n1ct4ve8zf5

Wanderer2010 wrote: »

You are only one person, you don't have the power to state such a fact as "most" women want to have children. What kind of a mindset would even think that? Here is a good assignment for you- why don't you go and interview every single woman on the planet and ask them two questions 1. Do you have children? 2. If not, do you want them?.
Then go away and collate your replies and come back to this thread with your findings.

Sure a man can't even find the one woman in the 21st century how's this fella supposed to find ALL of us?

:pac:

I don't want kids, seems like sh1te craic. So naturally I assume everyone who has them regrets it and lies about it. Oh sure they may say they're happy, they may say I can't read their minds, they may say feck off talking sh1te you know nothing about but come on, I think deep down we all know the truth. And if anyone has any well reasoned arguments why I might be mistaken there, let's just agree to disagree so I don't have to pull my head out of my hole, ok?

anewme

OMM 0000 wrote: »

I'm not saying birthrates aren't dropping. I'm specifically saying:

Most women want to have children, and most women have children.

I never said women are lying. I said they're making a mistake. There's no need to make up things about me so I have to defend things I don't believe.

I believe I've stated that sentence multiple times now.

You said I wasn’t being honest. Which is the same as lying.

I find it ignorant and narrow minded that you find yourself qualified to state women who don’t want children are making a mistake. You don’t know anyone’s life yet you feel you can dictate to others about their lifestyles and choices.

Do you know women better than they know themselves?

Where did you gain this mind reading quality? You should ask them for a refund as it’s a bit whacky.

Odd as bejaysus and certainly something the OP should not align himself with if he is looking for a partner as women run a mile from controlling men.

most fellas end up having kids and in my experience most of couldnt have given much less of a feck about the little darlings til they laid eyes on them

people are funny

anyway

women. 21st century. meeting em. how

Natures trick was for people to desire and need sex, as a result of that children would be born. Once a child was born there is a bond (especially with the mother) that usually lasts a lifetime or at least until the child is old enough to fend for itself. But anyhow humans are too clever and invented contraception, so they get the joys of sex without the unintended consequences.

Wanderer2010

OMM 0000 wrote: »

This isn't a good argument.

Obviously I'm allowed, on boards.ie, to state most women want to have children.



I seriously wonder who I'm talking to sometimes.

If people aren't allowed state their opinion here, on boards.ie, the site wouldn't exist.

You see, that's always your comeback when challenged. Here, I will break it down for you so that you can understand it:

You make a sweeping statement like "most women want children" or "most women who don't have children regret it later in life".

You are challenged on the above to back it up. You backtrack slightly and try the age-old counter attack of "Well...at least admit that MOST of what I said is true?".

When directly challenged to back up your view or your precious opinion, you attack the poster with weak retorts like "Well that's a stupid view/example" then your hurt comes to the surface with statements like "Honestly, you have to wonder who you are talking to here". Classic emissions from a person who cant argue properly.

I could write the book on your methodology. The irony is you would get a sliver of respect if you just admitted your statements weren't backed up by fact and are instead a personal view. But of course you wont do that.

Hamza Some Restaurant

Hamza Some Restaurant wrote: »

Natures trick was for people to desire and need sex, as a result of that children would be born. Once a child was born there is a bond (especially with the mother) that usually lasts a lifetime or at least until the child is old enough to fend for itself. But anyhow humans are too clever and invented contraception, so they get the joys of sex without the unintended consequences.

Lots of women go gaga over babies in the way that lots of men don't. Sex or no sex lots of women want babies.

We will evolve towards a society where men will have sex dolls and women can have babies on their own.

Was talking to a good looking successful 30 something man on Friday. He has no problem getting sex but huge problems getting a woman who wants a relationship. Another 30 something in the group had major problems getting women full stop. He wasn't as fortunate in the looks department but he wasn't hideous either and also had a good career, and was good craic. Would have thought he would have found someone.

Something very strange is going on.

From watching people I know I think it's quite possible that many women don't want babies, marriage etc ever, maybe even a majority of them.

Church on Tuesday

Everyone has their own life path laid out for them of their own choosing.

Some women want a career and not have kids. Some women want to have kids.

Not everyone is paternal be they either man or woman. women who focus on a career are hardly defective for wanting that.

It's simple really; if you're a man who may wants kids later in life (as I may do) then be with a woman who wishes to have the same.

Mister Vain

anewme wrote: »

How does OP apply this to his dilema as hes not a rapper or rock star?

Become a coder. Coders are the new rock stars apparently.

anewme

Brau hof deleted his response.

Probably for the best.

Mister Vain

Deleted User wrote: »

anyway

women. 21st century. meeting em. how

Yoga classes?

leahyl

I hate dating sites....I’m literally on them just because “everyone else is” but it just doesn’t feel right. I would prefer to meet someone in real life, like having the banter in a pub or whatever but this doesn’t seem to happen anymore. Just turned 34 and I think I’m just destined to be single lol. It’s a shame the way dating has changed. People have become way too picky also, I’m as guilty of it myself ffs - it’s all based on a picture at the end of the day because most people (on tinder anyway) don’t write anything about themselves.

ancapailldorcha

leahyl wrote: »

I hate dating sites....I’m literally on them just because “everyone else is” but it just doesn’t feel right. I would prefer to meet someone in real life, like having the banter in a pub or whatever but this doesn’t seem to happen anymore. Just turned 34 and I think I’m just destined to be single lol. It’s a shame the way dating has changed. People have become way too picky also, I’m as guilty of it myself ffs - it’s all based on a picture at the end of the day because most people (on tinder anyway) don’t write anything about themselves.

Apps and sites are just dire to be honest.

The main place I meet women is work which carries the usual set of caveats. There is one I get on with who pops down from Cambridge every other month or so I thought about asking out today but I bottled it.

Anyway, being single isn't so bad. Travel, drink, socialize and layabout when you want and there's nobody to stop you adopting several cats.

_blaaz

ancapailldorcha wrote: »

Apps and sites are just dire to be honest.

The main place I meet women is work which carries the usual set of caveats. There is one I get on with who pops down from Cambridge every other month or so I thought about asking out today but I bottled it.

Anyway, being single isn't so bad. Travel, drink, socialize and layabout when you want and there's nobody to stop you adopting several cats.

Tbf the advantages of being single far outweigh the disadvantages

Church on Tuesday

ancapailldorcha wrote: »

Apps and sites are just dire to be honest.

The main place I meet women is work which carries the usual set of caveats. There is one I get on with who pops down from Cambridge every other month or so I thought about asking out today but I bottled it.

Anyway, being single isn't so bad. Travel, drink, socialize and layabout when you want and there's nobody to stop you adopting several cats.

Just ask her the next month sure

anewme

ancapailldorcha wrote: »

leahyl wrote: »

I hate dating sites....I’m literally on them just because “everyone else is” but it just doesn’t feel right. I would prefer to meet someone in real life, like having the banter in a pub or whatever but this doesn’t seem to happen anymore. Just turned 34 and I think I’m just destined to be single lol. It’s a shame the way dating has changed. People have become way too picky also, I’m as guilty of it myself ffs - it’s all based on a picture at the end of the day because most people (on tinder anyway) don’t write anything about themselves.

Apps and sites are just dire to be honest.

The main place I meet women is work which carries the usual set of caveats. There is one I get on with who pops down from Cambridge every other month or so I thought about asking out today but I bottled it.

Anyway, being single isn't so bad. Travel, drink, socialize and layabout when you want and there's nobody to stop you adopting several cats.

Go for it.

leahyl

ancapailldorcha wrote: »

Apps and sites are just dire to be honest.

The main place I meet women is work which carries the usual set of caveats. There is one I get on with who pops down from Cambridge every other month or so I thought about asking out today but I bottled it.

Anyway, being single isn't so bad. Travel, drink, socialize and layabout when you want and there's nobody to stop you adopting several cats.

Yeah I’ve been single a looooong time though so it’s starting to get a bit boring now, wouldn’t mind spending some time with someone I fancy like mad but is also sound :-D ah well, I’ve got my health and that’s all that matters :-P

Icemancometh

anewme wrote: »

Brau hof deleted his response.

Probably for the best.

He's a rereg. That post was the usual cut and paste job, which is why it made less sense than normal.

ancapailldorcha

Church on Tuesday wrote: »

Just ask her the next month sure

anewme wrote: »

Go for it.

Aye. Was debating it. Will have to wait until next month. Not sure about the workplace thing though. Meant to be unprofessional, no?

leahyl

ancapailldorcha wrote: »

Aye. Was debating it. Will have to wait until next month. Not sure about the workplace thing though. Meant to be unprofessional, no?

I matched with two guys from work on tinder and neither worked out - in both cases they didn’t want anything to happen even though they swiped for me? The first one he said he doesn’t have relationships with people at work....so his game was what exactly? Lol. He has left since

The second guy is still there but he had come out of a relationship and didn’t want anything serious. I had put on my profile that I wasn’t after anything casual and he still swiped for me?! Wtf!!

I’m not trying to turn you off btw, just saying what my experience was with people in work - my workplace is predominantly female too, so it probably looked like I was coming onto the only single males in there and that I’m mad to nab a man haha - I’m actually the complete opposite and it took a lot to actually make a move cos I’m shy enough when it comes to these things.

anewme

If it comes to something, one shoukd leave, if not, its a fling.

Only you can decide if its worth it snd whats more important to you.

Ive had an 8 year relationship through work. Ultimately, it failed, nothing to do with work, as one had left once it was v serious.

Thats life, id do it again.

ancapailldorcha

leahyl wrote: »

I matched with two guys from work on tinder and neither worked out - in both cases they didn’t want anything to happen even though they swiped for me? The first one he said he doesn’t have relationships with people at work....so his game was what exactly? Lol. He has left since

The second guy is still there but he had come out of a relationship and didn’t want anything serious. I had put on my profile that I wasn’t after anything casual and he still swiped for me?! Wtf!!

I’m not trying to turn you off btw, just saying what my experience was with people in work - my workplace is predominantly female too, so it probably looked like I was coming onto the only single males in there and that I’m mad to nab a man haha - I’m actually the complete opposite and it took a lot to actually make a move cos I’m shy enough when it comes to these things.

I'd be fairly shy as well.

I've no idea if she's single though I think she might be or if she'd even be interested. I wouldn't even consider it if she were regularly in the building I work in.

The Tinder lads you mentioned might have swiped right accidentally perhaps? London has a lot of people so I'm certainly guilty of that though I've never found anyone at work on it.

Church on Tuesday

ancapailldorcha wrote: »

Aye. Was debating it. Will have to wait until next month. Not sure about the workplace thing though. Meant to be unprofessional, no?

You're not working with her week in week out though, so I see no harm.

leahyl

ancapailldorcha wrote: »

I'd be fairly shy as well.

I've no idea if she's single though I think she might be or if she'd even be interested. I wouldn't even consider it if she were regularly in the building I work in.

The Tinder lads you mentioned might have swiped right accidentally perhaps? London has a lot of people so I'm certainly guilty of that though I've never found anyone at work on it.

Wow thanks a lot ;-) don’t think it was accidental, well at least not for the second guy anyway as he told me he found me attractive and we get on well, maybe he thought I’d change my mind and he’d have a nice little fling for himself...nope, that’s not for me lol

Yeah it was a pretty big step for me in both cases to swipe right on someone from work, when I think back on it now I’m kind of glad I did it even if it did kind of upset me at the time when it didn’t work out. I think I was just exhausted from it all and it was just another failure.

ancapailldorcha

Church on Tuesday wrote: »

You're not working with her week in week out though, so I see no harm.

Not too worried about that at all. Just more about not making a tit of myself in the workplace. And HR.

leahyl wrote: »

Wow thanks a lot ;-) don’t think it was accidental, well at least not for the second guy anyway as he told me he found me attractive and we get on well, maybe he thought I’d change my mind and he’d have a nice little fling for himself...nope, that’s not for me lol

Yeah it was a pretty big step for me in both cases to swipe right on someone from work, when I think back on it now I’m kind of glad I did it even if it did kind of upset me at the time when it didn’t work out. I think I was just exhausted from it all and it was just another failure.

Didn't mean it like that at all, L. I just meant that if these fellas saw you they might have swiped no as ye're colleagues and they did say they didn't want workplace romances.

leahyl

ancapailldorcha wrote: »

Not too worried about that at all. Just more about not making a tit of myself in the workplace. And HR.



Didn't mean it like that at all, L. I just meant that if these fellas saw you they might have swiped no as ye're colleagues and they did say they didn't want workplace romances.

Haha I know you didn’t, I was only messing with ya :-)

jcorr

Well don't use Tinder anyway. Online dating sites are a bit better but still hard to find a compatible match.

Well don't worry OP, there's always MGTOW.

But don't and definitely double don't date an Asian woman. You will suffer longgggg and harrrrrrd.

Wibbs

anewme wrote: »

Brau hof deleted his response.

Probably for the best.

Well when anyone starts going on about alpha/beta/gamma/lamda/theta/whatever one can be pretty sure of a few things. 1) they have zero clue how these terms apply to social animal interactions in general, never mind humans and 2) they've bought into the whole Yank PUA nonsense monetised by largely aiming at and taking advantage of mostly young unsocialised, often on the spectrum men. Men looking for "cheat codes" for sociosexual interactions. Some of these outfits online use cult like marketing techniques. I can fully understand why they appeal to their demographic, but jaysus can't they see they're being sold snake oil with a tiny hint of truth? Homeopathic type stuff.

Answer to the OP's question? Fcuked if I know and how long as a piece of string comes into it, but a few have touched on the basics. Rather like finding a new job, it's wise to look inwards and ask would I hire me? Ditto for dating. If you don't find yourself attractive, who else will?

Interesting, sociable men with their sh1te together are more attractive to women. Genuine True Fact™ right there. Get more interesting. For your own sake. And you can. The usual stuff about joining clubs and the like is usual because it's bloody good advice. Avoid solitary activities. You can't catch fish with your nets in the boat. The invisible man isn't going to get the leg over anytime soon. Become more visible.

Do looks matter? Yes. Are there broad "leagues" in play? Yes. Hollywood, well meaning people and the like often sell the notion that it doesn't but that's because it's an appealing idea for so many so makes bank and makes us feel better about ourselves. For the "pickup artist" fans out there anyone who claims a guy like this;

can with their "Game System 3000", get a woman like this;

is - unless his personality and charisma and bank balance were forged by Zeus himself for the lulz on humanity - peddling the purest strain of certified organic bullshite.

However men can make a difference here. They can improve their appearance with styling and fitness. Yer man in the above pic would look much better with more styled glasses, a decent haircut, maybe a bit of a beard and by relegating the kids tee shirt to the bin or as ironic night wear.

Inner world wise, try to be more sociable. Doesn't need to be full on clown extrovert either, just normal level oh how ya, being interested in people social. Fitness ditto. You don't need to be able to do an Ironman, but you don't want to gas out walking a hundred yards either. Money? Sure, rich is great, but generally you need to have enough that you're not worrying that you have to walk five miles home because you can't spring for a taxi.

Avoid tinder and the like in my humble. The odds are stacked agin you unless you're photogenic. Women get more swipes on same(though they have to filter the dick pics and propeller head fcuknuggets, so it's not all gravy there, by any means). Photogenic women will get stacks of swipes and the feeling of abundance, so hard to stand out in that queue of drooling blokes hungrily doing tricks like a performing seal for her attention. So try to engage face to face socially, better yet in a social circle maybe based around a common interest. Far better odds.

If you do get a date, don't go full Hollywood grand gesture with flowers and expressions of love before the menu is read. It doesn't work and puts Women™ right off. Leave that guff to Hallmark films and Mexican soap operas. Dial back the emotionals in general. Women™ will often say the want a man with a sense of humour and a emotional man, but they don't want a clown or a therapy patient.

Go somewhere low key, maybe have a coffee date. Pubs can work if they're more suburban/local/quiet. Don't get sloshed. A glass or three of vino may grease the wheels of rapport, but a bottle just makes you greasy. An open air walk through the city can work, if you're in a city, with stops for areas of interest and sit downs along the way. Cinema is generally a big no no. The flic you watch replaces talk. Let them talk. Don't go all weird and just natter on about yourself, or ask questions without waiting for answers. Avoid politics, religion, what your therapist thinks about your bed wetting and any of that heavy shite and for christ's sake, don't talk about exes. Indeed if she does or runs through any of the other topics, be cool, but flick the Next button in your head. Ditto if she's asking about how many kids you want and how much do you think an engagement ring should cost. Feign a sudden case of airborne and virulent ebola at that point.

And if one date doesn't go well, genuinely think and feel wishing her the best of luck with her quest, even if she was a thundering cow. It was a learning experience for you both. Realise that women make up 50% of the population, they're not going out of fashion anytime soon. There will be another, indeed others who you will gel with.

Now maybe a lady will pipe up and tell us this is all BS and that she has the man she loves and he's a one legged, Star Trek collecting, 5ft high hermit. And if so great. Though I'd bet she didn't fall through his window one night. Out of the blue. But again, great, so what's your excuse? If your goto response starts with "oh I could, if only", you're bullshitting yourself because it's safer to do so. TL;DR? Don't bullshit yourself. You'll know it, or should.

My 3cents anyway.

ancapailldorcha

Wibbs wrote: »

Well....

Wibbs

leahyl wrote: »

I matched with two guys from work on tinder and neither worked out - in both cases they didn’t want anything to happen even though they swiped for me? The first one he said he doesn’t have relationships with people at work....so his game was what exactly? Lol. He has left since

The second guy is still there but he had come out of a relationship and didn’t want anything serious. I had put on my profile that I wasn’t after anything casual and he still swiped for me?! Wtf!!

Maybe it's a tactic for some blokes? With Tinder it seems generally speaking women have the upper hand on quantity of matches and they then sift for quality. If I were on it as a bloke and not looking like 6'4" Clint O'Rockjaw, captain of the GAAAAAH Team, I'd swipe on every single woman that looked close enough to my range of what I found attractive. Throw a wide net and see what comes up.