How is a man supposed to find a woman in the 21st century

OMM 0000

Church on Tuesday wrote: »

It's pretty much the same thing.

This is the wrong attitude about women though.

Like it's a game or complicated.

It's not...

Church on Tuesday

OMM 0000 wrote: »

This is the wrong attitude about women though.

Like it's a game or complicated.

It's not...

I never said it was.

Go over my post history, the re reg posts the ****e about PUA techniques not me.

OMM 0000

Church on Tuesday wrote: »

I never said it was.

Go over my post history, the re reg posts the ****e about PUA techniques not me.

Well you're saying women test you.

I don't believe they do. Unless they think you're lying to them...?

Mister Vain

Doctor Jimbob wrote: »

Find someone else with a head like a smashed turnip. Simple.

I'm half joking, but the fact some people seem to feel entitled to someone objectively more attractive than them is baffling.

Are unattractive people attracted to other unattractive people or are the just settling?

CelticRambler

OMM 0000 wrote: »

Here's a scenario:

Man is not fat. (This is important; lose weight if you're fat).

He grows his hair long, and shaves the back and sides. Think Brad Pitt in Fury.

Stubble.

Casual suit jack (dark colour).

T-shirt (dark colour).

Jeans (dark colour).

Converse or simple vans or sand boots.

He looks good.

Women will be attracted to him.

Now he just needs to not be a weirdo.

Therapy, proper socialisation, meditation, honesty.

It's not rocket science.

It might take 6 months, it might take 2 years, but it's 100% doable for almost every guy.

OMM 0000 wrote: »

Looks are super important, but you can control this too.

Get fit and strong.

Hairstyle.

Good clothes.

Good posture.

You can even hire a photographer to take good photos of you.

You have to make an effort.

Feck's sake ... :eek:

Sounds like way too much effort to put into "being yourself" ... but say yer man gets the boots and the casual jacket and watches a few videos on socialisation and meditation. How the feck is that going to help him if he's such a crap dancer that he ends up propping up the bar while all the women are wrapped around some guy in bare feet and a skirt made out of a bit of old curtain? ( And yeah, I'm talking about the guy wearing the skirt! :pac: )

Because what you're describing is a "look" - essentially a costume - that's only appropriate for guys who are going out to a fleshfest somewhere in the hopes of having women chase after them. That's not at all what the OP or, I would argue, the majority of ordinary men, are looking for.

Church on Tuesday

OMM 0000 wrote: »

Well you're saying women test you.

I don't believe they do. Unless they think you're lying to them...?

Have you ever been teased by a woman for something you where wearing or your height or whatever or some personal interest that she thought was a bit lame?

That's testing, it's to see if you are secure in yourself. An insecure man will get offended and in a huff, a man completley comfortable in his own skin won't give a toss.

Guess which one is the most attractive.

OMM 0000

CelticRambler wrote: »

Feck's sake ... :eek:

Sounds like way too much effort to put into "being yourself" ... but say yer man gets the boots and the casual jacket and watches a few videos on socialisation and meditation. How the feck is that going to help him if he's such a crap dancer that he ends up propping up the bar while all the women are wrapped around some guy in bare feet and a skirt made out of a bit of old curtain? ( And yeah, I'm talking about the guy wearing the skirt! :pac: )

Because what you're describing is a "look" - essentially a costume - that's only appropriate for guys who are going out to a fleshfest somewhere in the hopes of having women chase after them. That's not at all what the OP or, I would argue, the majority of ordinary men, are looking for.

I understand what you're saying.

My angle is this:

Men don't know how to dress. We don't consider our "style" to define us. So just dress well.

Then make an effort to be the best you can be.

OMM 0000

Church on Tuesday wrote: »

Have you ever been teased by a woman for something you where wearing or your height or whatever or some personal interest that she thought was a bit lame?

That's testing, it's to see if you are secure in yourself. An insecure man will get offended and in a huff, a man completley comfortable in his own skin won't give a toss.

Guess which one is the most attractive.

No, I've never been tested.

Church on Tuesday

OMM 0000 wrote: »

No, I've never been tested.

You've never been teased by women at all?

Are you a married man?, does your wife ever tease you over stuff?

OMM 0000

Church on Tuesday wrote: »

You've never been teased by women at all?

Are you a married man?, does your wife ever tease you over stuff?

I'm married. Teasing and testing are totally different.

Teasing is "I like you". Testing is... weird.

Church on Tuesday

OMM 0000 wrote: »

I'm married. Teasing and testing are totally different.

Teasing is "I like you". Testing is... weird.

Well OMM when your wife teases you the next time about something you are indeed being tested.

OMM 0000

Church on Tuesday wrote: »

Well OMM when your wife teases you the next time about something you are indeed being tested.

That's not true.

I feel like you don't understand women.

Infini

Cee-Jay-Cee wrote: »

Thailand..and bring some money.

Sure bring money they said, you'd get laid they said.... then suddenly...

Church on Tuesday

OMM 0000 wrote: »

That's not true.

I feel like you don't understand women.

Why do you think that's not true?

To be honest I thought most men knew this.

OMM 0000

Church on Tuesday wrote: »

Why do you think that's not true?

To be honest I thought most men knew this.

I think it because I know it's not true.

The only people who think this stuff don't understand women and have little experience with women.

Women are not complicated at all.

dd973

Two types of marriage, the first is a dumb luck encounter whereupon a mutual brain melt folie-a-deux occurs and they live happily ever after or split up 10/20 years down the line.

The second type is usually a pact between a pair of usually horrible, cynical types who team up for the social kudos and to get what they want out of life as a duo.

Statistically there probably is 'someone for everyone' but what if this person lives in Chile or New Zealand and you're never going to meet them?

kunst nugget

Church on Tuesday wrote: »

Well OMM when your wife teases you the next time about something you are indeed being tested.

So when the missus is taking the piss out of me, it's actually part of some elaborate test of hers? She must be worn out testing me for the last two decades, considering she hasn't gotten anywhere with me...

Honestly, what a load of poo...

Church on Tuesday

kunst nugget wrote: »

So when the missus is taking the piss out of me, it's actually part of some elaborate test of hers? She must be worn out testing me for the last two decades, considering she hasn't gotten anywhere with me...

Honestly, what a load of poo...

You must be a catch then.

Green Peter

Tell them what they want to hear, easy peasey!

CelticRambler

OMM 0000 wrote: »

I understand what you're saying.

My angle is this:

Men don't know how to dress. We don't consider our "style" to define us. So just dress well.

Then make an effort to be the best you can be.

But again, there's no simple definition of "dressing well" - or being "the best you can be".

If you have a real interest in something - competitive sports, playing music, flying kites, making sculptures out of recycled car-parts, playing video-games, whatever, you will inevitably "be the best you can be" without someone needing to tell you. If you have to be told, then as Wibbs said, you're a target for any snake-oil salesman.

The "dressing well" side of things depends entirely on context. Most of us probably go to more places and activities where you'd be a laughing stock if you turned up in an Armani suit and Versace shoes. Unless you're out on the town looking to pull a bird for a one-night-stand, chances are you won't need to "dress well" until you've already made a connection with someone because of a shared interest. There are plenty of couples who meet at work or in a similar environment where their dresscode is defined by some outside force.

Elisa Warm Ball

Elisa Warm Ball wrote: »

Change about three nouns, leave the general content and tone as it is and you've got you some David Attenborough voiceover right there.

I'm picturing...lizards or some kind of vole.

I thought it would be Sliders with all the phasing going on

kunst nugget

Church on Tuesday wrote: »

You must be a catch then.

Ah, sure I'm fantastic.

Seriously, after twenty years together, what's she going to testing me about when she's teasing me considering we've probably taken the piss out of each other at some point nearly every day since we've known each other.

Church on Tuesday

OMM 0000 wrote: »

I think it because I know it's not true.

The only people who think this stuff don't understand women and have little experience with women.

Women are not complicated at all.

Ah here, cut the bull, women test men all the time; your wife does it with you I can guarantee, my exes did, pretty much every woman does.

Again, there is nothing sinister about it, it's fairly natural, a woman wants to make sure you're the same fella as when ye first met and that your not some wallflower or overly sensitive.

And on that; the courtship never ends you'd want to be keeping it fresh and exciting as much as possible.

Woman are not complicated but they are different to men, again fairly obvious and natural.

OMM 0000

CelticRambler wrote: »

But again, there's no simple definition of "dressing well" - or being "the best you can be".

If you have a real interest in something - competitive sports, playing music, flying kites, making sculptures out of recycled car-parts, playing video-games, whatever, you will inevitably "be the best you can be" without someone needing to tell you. If you have to be told, then as Wibbs said, you're a target for any snake-oil salesman.

The "dressing well" side of things depends entirely on context. Most of us probably go to more places and activities where you'd be a laughing stock if you turned up in an Armani suit and Versace shoes. Unless you're out on the town looking to pull a bird for a one-night-stand, chances are you won't need to "dress well" until you've already made a connection with someone because of a shared interest. There are plenty of couples who meet at work or in a similar environment where their dresscode is defined by some outside force.

Dressing well doesn't mean showing up for the local GAA game in an Armani suit.

I said this in a post many pages back: ask your female friends for help when it comes to your clothes.

I understand many people on boards are nerdy or awkward or on the spectrum, so this stuff may seem difficult (e.g. black and white thinking: looking well means wearing a suit), but you can do this.

Wear dark coloured clothes.

Wear clothes which fit you.

Wear shoes not trainers. Or wear a very limited range or trainers (simple Vans, black Converse).

That's basically it.

Think Keanu Reeves. You won't go wrong with this style.

im gonna drop a bomb here

different women like different things

dont @ me

Church on Tuesday

kunst nugget wrote: »

Ah, sure I'm fantastic.

Seriously, after twenty years together, what's she going to testing me about when she's teasing me considering we've probably taken the piss out of each other at some point nearly every day since we've known each other.

I was being serious with that comment by the way.

It more or less answers your question.

OMM 0000

Church on Tuesday wrote: »

Ah here, cut the bull, women test men all the time; your wife does it with you I can guarantee, my exes did, pretty much every woman does.

Again, there is nothing sinister about it, it's fairly natural, a woman wants to make sure you're the same fella as when ye first met and that your not some wallflower or overly sensitive.

And on that; the courtship never ends you'd want to be keeping it fresh and exciting as much as possible.

Woman are not complicated but they are different to men, again fairly obvious and natural.

Women don't test men unless they (the men) are liars or fake.

You're wrong and you need to change your mentality on this.

I say this with kindness.

Church on Tuesday

Deleted User wrote: »

im gonna drop a bomb here

different women like different things

dont @ me

Nope, you're dead right.

OMM 0000

Deleted User wrote: »

im gonna drop a bomb here

different women like different things

dont @ me

Obviously, but we're not being autistic, we're generalising.

Church on Tuesday

OMM 0000 wrote: »

Women don't test men unless they (the men) are liars or fake.

You're wrong and you need to change your mentality on this.

I say this with kindness.

Someone is WRONG on the internet eh?

You're entitled to your opinion as I am to mine.

OMM 0000

Church on Tuesday wrote: »

Someone is WRONG on the internet eh?

You're entitled to your opinion as I am to mine.

Yeah but I think my experience outranks yours... no offence...

I believe you're a good person btw.

Church on Tuesday

OMM 0000 wrote: »

Yeah but I think my experience outranks yours... no offence...

I believe you're a good person btw.

Well you are an older gentleman...

Tuco88

Whats with all the wear dark colours? Its the summer.

Are you ment to look like the blues brother's or something now???

Put on what you like...rock what you wear

Honestly some of the advise on this, are some of you working for the church? Is this the new recruitment target for Nuns/Priest's?

OMM 0000

Church on Tuesday wrote: »

Well you are an older gentleman...

You're right.

But like... there's more to it than that.

I've kissed probably 500 women. I don't think that's an age thing.

I'm gonna sleep soon.

OMM 0000

Tuco88 wrote: »

Whats with all the wear dark colours? Its the summer.

Are you ment to look like the blues brother's or something now???

Put on what you like...rock what you wear

Honestly some of the advise on this, are some of you working for the church? Is this the new recruitment target for Nuns/Priest's?

It's advice for men who don't know how to dress.

Most men look like ****.

givyjoe

OMM 0000 wrote: »

It's advice for men who don't know how to dress.

Most men look like ****.

Oh wow, generalized nonsense.

OMM 0000

givyjoe wrote: »

Oh wow, generalized nonsense.

We are generalising.

This is not a scientific project.

Church on Tuesday

OMM 0000 wrote: »

You're right.

But like... there's more to it than that.

I've kissed probably 500 women. I don't think that's an age thing.

I'm gonna sleep soon.

Only that? :pac::pac::pac::pac::pac::pac::pac::pac:

givyjoe

OMM 0000 wrote: »

We are generalising.

This is not a scientific project.

Thanks for confirming, as I said above. Nonsense. Though having read back a page, it seems it isn't your first doozey.

OMM 0000

givyjoe wrote: »

Thanks for confirming, as I said above. Nonsense. Though having read back a page, it seems it isn't your first doozey.

Most Irish men dress like ****.

I stand by this generalisation.

Even simply this: how many Irish men wear clothes which fit them? It's not the majority.

Perhaps your definition of "****" is different to mine.

Surely you've seen the threads here about Irish women looking terrible. Well it applies to Irish men too.

givyjoe

OMM 0000 wrote: »

Most Irish men dress like ****.

I stand by this generalisation.

Even simply this: how many Irish men wear clothes which fit them? It's not the majority.

Perhaps your definition of "****" is different to mine.

Where are pulling all these wonderful stats from? Most.. majority... ? Do you literally walk the streets everyday taking notes with a clip board?

OMM 0000

givyjoe wrote: »

Where are pulling all these wonderful stats from? Most.. majority... ? Do you literally walk the streets everyday taking notes with a clip board?

It's called an opinion.

You're allowed have one too.

givyjoe

OMM 0000 wrote: »

It's called an opinion.

You're allowed have one too.

Yes, generalized nonsense.. have you forgotten already?! You're not really giving an opinion when you state most and start quoting how many girls you've kissed. More than once you directly or indirectly tried to 'trump' others with your alleged experience, which is by default statistically insignificant and as I said above, nonsense.

OMM 0000

givyjoe wrote: »

Yes, generalized nonsense.. have you forgotten already?!

Do you understand what boards.ie is?

Shall I go through your post history and find all the occurrences where you gave yoru own opinion, and criticise you for it?

Are we really going to be this autistic about things?

Nikki Sixx

Wanderer2010 wrote: »

That only applies to women who have and want kids. What about the women who love their careers and don't want to have kids?

How many of those are out there?

givyjoe

OMM 0000 wrote: »

Do you understand what boards.ie is?

Shall I go through your post history and find all the occurrences where you gave yoru own opinion, and criticise you for it?

Are we really going to be this autistic about things?

Wow, pot kettle black there. Not sure you understand how opinions work. not rocket science as you said earlier. Fire away on digging through my posts. I don't attempt to trump others with school yard stuff "I've kissed more girls than you" and then insult others who call you out on gibberish posts. All the best now, schooling the singletons of boards.

OMM 0000

givyjoe wrote: »

Wow, pot kettle black there. Not sure you understand how opinions work. not rocket science as you said earlier. Fire away on digging through my posts. I don't attempt to trump others with school yard stuff "I've kissed more girls than you" and then insult others who call you out on gibberish posts. All the best now, schooling the singletons of boards.

You're ridiculous.

I don't care if you're a virgin or inexperienced.

Good luck to you.

Gael23

What about a man that seeks to find a man?

kowloon

bluewolf wrote: »

I thought it would be Sliders with all the phasing going on

The epidode where most of the men have been killed and the remainder are sent to breeding centres?

CelticRambler

OMM 0000 wrote: »

this stuff may seem difficult (e.g. black and white thinking: looking well means wearing a suit), but you can do this.

Wear dark coloured clothes.

Wear clothes which fit you.

Wear shoes not trainers. Or wear a very limited range or trainers (simple Vans, black Converse).

That's basically it.

Think Keanu Reeves. You won't go wrong with this style.

Yes, you can. If your work uniform is a white apron with pink polka dots, then that's what you're stuck with. Wear black and you'll get the sack, and all the flirting opportunities that you might have had at work will disappear.

And again, anyone showing up to any of the dance events I go to, dressed in black "well fitting" clothes and fancy shoes is going to be relegated to the bargain bin, because that style identifies them as someone who doesn't know what they're doing.

But I suppose if you do it deliberately, it could be a converstation starter (what on earth are you wearing? take those shoes off before you ruin them ... :P )