8 month old sleep problems - normal? HELP!

savemysleep123

I know, another sleep thread - how cliched! Frazzled FTM sending out an SOS here.

Our almost 8 month old has been an absolute nightmare when it comes to sleep over the last 6 weeks or so, so I'm hoping someone might have been through similar or can offer some advice? Basically just wondering is this normal. Please forgive sleep-deprived word vomit.

So the last time he slept for more than 7/8 hours without waking up was Christmas Eve (the fact that I remember this so clearly says it all!) After Christmas, his sleep pattern unravelled (normal 4 month sleep regression, I know) but most nights were manageable, save for the odd tearing-our-hair-out nights here and there.

We moved him into his own room around 6 months and feel he coped well enough with the transition (better than we expected, actually).

Up until recently, he would usually wake 2-3 times a night looking for his dodie (please nobody suggest phasing that out, I'm going to pick and choose my battles on this one!), but would generally settle back down easily enough. But the past 6 weeks have been worse than the newborn stage for sleep.

There are a few factors here which I'm sure are affecting his sleep:

1) He started in creche a month ago, but dropped his third (late afternoon) nap and is actually in a more structured routine since starting. He's clearly tired when I collect him at 5.30pm and is usually ready for bed/down by 6.30/7pm most nights. He gets his final bottle in his room and most days will fall asleep on the bottle. I'm now wondering has this created a sleep association for him BUT he goes down for naps during the day without any bottle, no bother.


2) He picked up his first cold virus within days of starting creche and has had it for over a month now (have been to doc several times to get him checked, he's been on an antibiotic that has improved him slightly, but is still a bit snotty and wheezy). He had been coughing himself awake quite a bit, felt so sorry for him, but that's gotten better since antibiotic. Doc basically said it just has to pass.

3) Still gets his last feed at 11pm (usually takes around 4oz/5oz). Spoke to PHN about when to phase this out (she said any time between 7-12 months and to give him something creamy to eat at bedtime (i.e. Milupa Fruity Bedtime porridge). We tried this and he woke in hysterics around 4am and only a bottle would pacify him - so scrapped that idea for now. The 11pm bottle (and more to the point, having to stay up til 11pm on the days we're exhausted) is especially killing my husband.


The days that he's not in creche, I try to keep him to as close to their routine as possible, i.e. same awake time (if he stays down til 6am it's a good day! ), same feeding times, try not to let him take that late afternoon third nap. He usually goes down in the evening no problem, but between 12am and 6am he could wake/stir/screech/cry/look for his dodie as many as 10+ times. Most nights lately, we give up and one of us sleeps in his room with him, which helps a little (but he still wakes) but is not sustainable long-term.

I should add that when we go in to settle him, we don't (and have never) picked him up, unless he's really upset. We try to just pat and shush him, and holding his hand or putting your hand on him USUALLY settles him again (again, is this another sleep association we've created?! But how else to comfort him without holding him? He won't respond to shushing or gentle talking on its own).

I know there's been a lot going on in his little world recently, and it's understandable that something's gotta give. And look, babies cry - I get it! But I guess I'm more concerned about whether there's something deeper at the root of it, and should we address it now? Or is it normal? I really, REALLY don't want to do controlled crying (especially not until he's fully over his cold), but don't know how much longer we can do this constant waking. I'm back at work now too, so I can't bear the brunt of it like I did when I was on maternity leave.

Also, the people who told me 'Oh, he'll sleep better once he's weaned' - liars! (Hi, mum.) He's on 3 meals a day and it's made no difference. Probably actually made him a worse sleeper!

Thanks for reading if you got this far!

maxsmum

savemysleep123 wrote: »

I know, another sleep thread - how cliched! Frazzled FTM sending out an SOS here.

Our almost 8 month old has been an absolute nightmare when it comes to sleep over the last 6 weeks or so, so I'm hoping someone might have been through similar or can offer some advice? Basically just wondering is this normal. Please forgive sleep-deprived word vomit.

So the last time he slept for more than 7/8 hours without waking up was Christmas Eve (the fact that I remember this so clearly says it all!) After Christmas, his sleep pattern unravelled (normal 4 month sleep regression, I know) but most nights were manageable, save for the odd tearing-our-hair-out nights here and there.

We moved him into his own room around 6 months and feel he coped well enough with the transition (better than we expected, actually).

Up until recently, he would usually wake 2-3 times a night looking for his dodie (please nobody suggest phasing that out, I'm going to pick and choose my battles on this one!), but would generally settle back down easily enough. But the past 6 weeks have been worse than the newborn stage for sleep.

There are a few factors here which I'm sure are affecting his sleep:

1) He started in creche a month ago, but dropped his third (late afternoon) nap and is actually in a more structured routine since starting. He's clearly tired when I collect him at 5.30pm and is usually ready for bed/down by 6.30/7pm most nights. He gets his final bottle in his room and most days will fall asleep on the bottle. I'm now wondering has this created a sleep association for him BUT he goes down for naps during the day without any bottle, no bother.


2) He picked up his first cold virus within days of starting creche and has had it for over a month now (have been to doc several times to get him checked, he's been on an antibiotic that has improved him slightly, but is still a bit snotty and wheezy). He had been coughing himself awake quite a bit, felt so sorry for him, but that's gotten better since antibiotic. Doc basically said it just has to pass.

3) Still gets his last feed at 11pm (usually takes around 4oz/5oz). Spoke to PHN about when to phase this out (she said any time between 7-12 months and to give him something creamy to eat at bedtime (i.e. Milupa Fruity Bedtime porridge). We tried this and he woke in hysterics around 4am and only a bottle would pacify him - so scrapped that idea for now. The 11pm bottle (and more to the point, having to stay up til 11pm on the days we're exhausted) is especially killing my husband.


The days that he's not in creche, I try to keep him to as close to their routine as possible, i.e. same awake time (if he stays down til 6am it's a good day! ), same feeding times, try not to let him take that late afternoon third nap. He usually goes down in the evening no problem, but between 12am and 6am he could wake/stir/screech/cry/look for his dodie as many as 10+ times. Most nights lately, we give up and one of us sleeps in his room with him, which helps a little (but he still wakes) but is not sustainable long-term.

I should add that when we go in to settle him, we don't (and have never) picked him up, unless he's really upset. We try to just pat and shush him, and holding his hand or putting your hand on him USUALLY settles him again (again, is this another sleep association we've created?! But how else to comfort him without holding him? He won't respond to shushing or gentle talking on its own).

I know there's been a lot going on in his little world recently, and it's understandable that something's gotta give. And look, babies cry - I get it! But I guess I'm more concerned about whether there's something deeper at the root of it, and should we address it now? Or is it normal? I really, REALLY don't want to do controlled crying (especially not until he's fully over his cold), but don't know how much longer we can do this constant waking. I'm back at work now too, so I can't bear the brunt of it like I did when I was on maternity leave.

Also, the people who told me 'Oh, he'll sleep better once he's weaned' - liars! (Hi, mum.) He's on 3 meals a day and it's made no difference. Probably actually made him a worse sleeper!

Thanks for reading if you got this far!

Is Dodie chained to him? That sorted that issue for our fella.
We also let him at it for a few nights (never in distress or anguish just whining) and he's slept through the night since 7 or 8 months. And not in any way emotionally affected trust me. He's nearly 4 now and a great chap.

iamwhoiam

Try putting his dodie on a chain during the day and as he looks for it guide his hand along the chain and teach him to put dodie in his mouth .It takes a while but then once learned he will do it at night .


This might help /

https://www.jojomamanbebe.ie/elephant-soother-comforter-d4670.html?gclid=Cj0KCQjwrdjnBRDXARIsAEcE5YlAt1j0gess__I4c3DBDwGLW1drHn2Cn4sGnWkpBMvkbGo_N34uMfwaAtbQEALw_wcB

catrionanic

Ah goodness, poor baba and poor mama! It really is so so hard. I have a 7.5 month old and I am right there with you. He's up every 2-3 hours all night every night... has been since he was around 3 months old. I am at the end of my tether with it too. I have a 2 year old who was a poor sleeper, but this guy is even worse.

I've been reading quite a lot of advice from gentle sleep consultants lately, and overtiredness seems to be a massive thing. You said that he is obviously tired at 5.30, but doesn't go down to bed until around 7. This sounds to me like something that needs to be addressed. Could you try letting him have a short nap in the car or buggy on the way home from creche, or else bring bedtime forward to around 6? Try it for a week or so and see how it goes. All the advice I have read seems to say that as soon as they seem tired, that is the time to get them down for a nap or sleep. The very first eye rub or bit of crankiness. Delaying by even 10 minutes can have a big knock-on effect on the night time sleep.

I hope he gets over this virus soon. That could also be having a big effect on his sleep. It's not worth trying to make any major changes until he is better, anyway.

Big hugs! It is so so hard. This morning, I was at such a low ebb that I just wanted to run away.

Anne_cordelia

Ok, firstly it’s completely normal! It’s hard to see the wood for the trees and it’s normal to be completely overwhelmed by everything when you are so tired. Honestly you could try 101 suggestions to get him to sleep and it might not work and you will drive yourself mad.

So you need survival tactics. Firstly the dodie chains at night are not recommended as they are dangerous but there is a teddy called a Snuggle Tot or something that can help with this. You attach 4 dodies to each limb and the baby learns how to get one dodie into their mouth. Wonderbaba sells them. Or you could just place 6/8 dodies around him in the cot and hope he finds one.

Do you and your husband take shifts? You both really need uninterrupted sleep so take turns. Say one person go to bed at 9 and sleep until 3 so that’s 6 hours unbroken (Key is you need unbroken sleep) then that person takes over while the other sleeps. Then swap every second night. Or whatever times work for ye but the key is to get chunks of unbroken sleep. I’m a big advocate of getting sleep by whatever means possible so I’d bring him into your bed if he settles there. It’s such a short time. He won’t be there at 18!

mirrorwall14

We're waiting on the snuggle tot teddy from New Zealand to help the dodo pops. I have an 8 month old who wakes for his. He is also in the middle of dropping the third nap. Our "routine" is currently

Bedtime is between 6-7 depending on how exhausted he is. Generally its as close to 7 as we can make it. We do the biggest bottle of the day (extra oz) at bedtime. Give him breaks to do a story/nappy/sleepsack/wind etc but make absolutely certain he doesn't go to sleep until at least 3/4 if not all of that bottle is in AND he's got his wind up. He has a tendency to keel over before the wind and that will result in him waking screaming several hours later

We pushed the 1130 bottle out. Delay delay delay. That bottle is now any time between 4-6am so we are getting there. Not gonna lie, it's an absolute nightmare to move but its been much better. We sleep in cycles, husband goes to bed between 9-10 and sleep to 5-6am. I'm still on unpaid leave so I do dodo pops until 11 or so then bed for me too (I sleep during his day time naps). I've done the delaying and my husband takes over 5/6ish depending on whether the baby is awake or not. TBH I usually end up in the single bed beside the cot from about 2am on, we're hoping the sleepy tot will fix the dodo issues

Oh and we say a dietician as my lad is Cows milk protein allergy and she said I can change the night bottle to water to move to removing it at this stage which might be an option for you

shesty

Aww OP!!Although to be honest, your post was a little funny, mostly because I have been there and totally identify with it!Unfortunately it is a wait it out.You are doing great, honestly, it's just a phase.(your mantra for the next four years on all fronts, I'm afraid).Our little guy is 13 months now and we had a couple of bad months alright from about 8-11 months, with similar wakings.The 4am thing is standard too, there is something in our sleep cycle that means we enter a lighter sleep at 4am and wake easier.I remember my second being the same, right around my return to work, so she would have been 10 months or so.(have blanked out what my first did from sheer exhaustion at this stage).

I suppose my only thoughts are to keep inserting soother from 4am on (I know it's hell)- we made the mistake of thinking our first was hungry when she woke at 4am and dear god, it took us a good 2.5 years to rectify that one....she still barely sleeps past 6am.You could probably start to drop or reduce that 11pm bottle around now, think we did that on all ours about now.Is he crawling?When they get going it knocks them out a bit too.I found having a cough/cold is weeks of hell....second and third were tag teaming them here for most of feb/mar/april, it takes them ages to get over that coughing at night.To help, try a Calpol plug-in in the room, keep the room coolish, tip up the head of the bed a bit, use kiddie olbas oil on a piece of tissue or something, and a little squirt of saline nasal spray at bedtime.If he is chesty, consider buying a steamer and running it in his room for a few hours at bedtime.

It is totally normal and absolutely horrible,but keep doing what you are doing and one night you will get a good stretch!!!

jlm29

If he’s tired at 5 pm, you could try giving him a very short nap, and making bed time later.
Or you could just try bringing him into bed with you, and not have to be getting up to him during the night, but that isn’t for everyone.

fits

No specific advice but it’s totally normal. Do whatever you have to to get some sleep ( not cry it out). It’s just a phase and you won’t ruin him for life by picking up for a cuddle or taking him to bed with you. One of my twins sleeps all night in his own room now and we co slept until he turned two.

savemysleep123

Thanks for the replies, guys.

Not crazy about the idea of chaining the dodie to him from a safety perspective, but also I don't know if it'd make a difference - he can take it out but hasn't learned to put it back in (the right way around) yet! So that's the scenario most nights - he knocks it out of his mouth, or pulls it out in his sleep, and will even hold it in his hand... then he realises it's not in his mouth and will try to get it back in, which wakes him up fully! You have to laugh (or I'll cry... more!) The annoying thing is that he can (and does) go for long stretches without the dodie when it falls out sometimes, we see him on the monitor. Those teddy things are a good idea but he uses Mam soothers which don't have a loop to thread them through... I might look into other soothers that have a loop.

I will work on teaching him to put it back in himself, too.

Catrionanic - Thanks, hope it gets better for you, too! I love the kid more than life itself, but this whole lack of sleep thing is so much harder than I ever imagined (will be the title of my autobiography),


Anne_cordelia - Thanks a million, we actually do split the night into shifts - from bedtime til 2.30am and then 2.30am to wake-up time, whenever that is. The problem is that the person on the 2.30am - wake-up is usually the one with a raw deal because that's his most unsettled time. You're right though, the early shift person does need to go to bed at 9 or earlier. I've been trying to avoid doing this because I do want to spend time with my husband without the little man taking all our attention, but even if we go earlier some nights... might save our sanity a bit.

Mirrorwall - That's interesting, never even occurred to me to stretch the 11pm bottle the other way - my worry then would be that he starts waking earlier and earlier for the bottle, though, no? We tried him on water before giving in and giving him milk the night of the hysterical 4am wake-up - he was disgusted! Find it hard to get him to take more than a few sips of water any day. Arrgh!

Shesty - If I don't laugh, I'll cry! I know, I'm reluctant to give him a bottle any earlier than 6 (even if he's awake before 6) because I'm afraid that he'll then just start waking earlier and earlier and we're back to square one. We have a Calpol thingy that we used for a few nights that didn't seem to make any difference, but will try it again. Elevated the mattress for a few nights which helped a little with the cough. I will look into borrowing a humidifier to see if that does anything. He's not crawling yet but has come on loads in the last month or so, so I reckon it's developmental too. And teething on top of everything. Oh the joy!

JLM - The rare time he does fall asleep in the car on the way home from creche, but it's only a short 10/15 min journey depending on traffic. I'm wary of letting him sleep that close to bedtime, but yeah, maybe we could push his bedtime back half an hour or an hour. TBH I'm willing to try anything at this point!

mirrorwall14

Yeah we still get the odd mad night but the mad nights are 1-2am now (when I’ve had some sleep) instead of 1130/12 when I’ve just fallen asleep.

I wouldn’t cold turkey personally, I’d do oz for oz water over a week or two. I haven’t tried it yet here because he’s teething/sore throat and I’ve been struggling to get it into him

And we have Mam soothers too, you get a silicone ring that clips around them I’ll see can I find a link

mirrorwall14

Loads of places online have them

CLEAR SILICONE BABY MAM RINGS/DUMMY CLIPS ADAPTER https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B00HIRR7VS/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_FMM9Cb810B950

CheerLouth

We have a Nuby clip and it's great. Not particularly long - it would never wrap around his neck if that is what you are worried about - I panicked about that a bit on No.1. But it's a great job. Clip it on to his bag and then he can find the dodo in his sleep. The nights when we haven't clipped it, he knocks the doody out of the cot and we're scrambling around in the dark on all fours trying to find the blinking thing.

shesty

Two of mine took MONTHS to figure out how to pick the bloody soother up and put it back in themselves...I'd say they were easily 9/10 months before they got it (and my mother assured me they would have it worked out at 4 months!).The youngest copped it at about 4 months, he is well able now.We do still have nights where it gets wedged out of his reach though.....

I have to say though, I would second the winding thing.If he is falling asleep on the bottle, he is not getting wind up I'd say.My trio were all phenomenally windy babies, and particularly on my second, if the wind didn't come up after that bottle, we were in for a disturbed night.She would drop off no bother, and then start up from around 1am on.I can't count how many nights I tried everything to get her back to sleep, then ended up achieving it by lifting her out, holding her upright and minutes later wind would come out, up or down, and she would be asleep again.It can disturb them badly, and nothing but getting them upright gets it out.

savemysleep123

shesty wrote: »

Two of mine took MONTHS to figure out how to pick the bloody soother up and put it back in themselves...I'd say they were easily 9/10 months before they got it (and my mother assured me they would have it worked out at 4 months!).The youngest copped it at about 4 months, he is well able now.We do still have nights where it gets wedged out of his reach though.....

I have to say though, I would second the winding thing.If he is falling asleep on the bottle, he is not getting wind up I'd say.My trio were all phenomenally windy babies, and particularly on my second, if the wind didn't come up after that bottle, we were in for a disturbed night.She would drop off no bother, and then start up from around 1am on.I can't count how many nights I tried everything to get her back to sleep, then ended up achieving it by lifting her out, holding her upright and minutes later wind would come out, up or down, and she would be asleep again.It can disturb them badly, and nothing but getting them upright gets it out.

Thanks for that shesty - you might be on to something there because we had stopped winding him quite as much as we used to, thinking he didn't necessarily need it as he was older and able to get it up himself (and trying to avoid waking him up after the bottle again). I'm going to start winding him properly again from tonight on!

shesty

Yeah I was glad to get rid of that 11pm bottle to be honest because that made the wind worse.At least she could be winded after the bedtime one but I was never that successful after the later one, when she was asleep.

Anne_cordelia

OP, I totally get wanting to spend time together but during these really bad sleep times, something has to give for your own sanity. It’s probably not exactly quality time when you are so wrecked anyways. I promise you it will pass. From when mine were 14 months, I started getting some energy and some of my life back.

Meeeee79

Hugs for you OP. Sleep deprivation is so so tough.

Does he wake looking for a bottle or does the dody generally settle him? I always found with our 10 month old when we had sleep issues with him that going into the room and patting his back/shushing him etc made him so much worse. Some babies get more worked up than anything if they know you are there and aren't picking them up. We started giving him 5 mins when he woke before going in. If he was calming down, we would give another couple of mins and keep judging the situation. If he wasn't calming, we would go in and pick him up, give him a cuddle, let him calm and then put him back in the cot somewhat awake. After about 3/4 nights of this it really became effective and sleep hugely improved.

In hindsight, us rushing in the comfort him when he would wake was actually waking him more than letting him work it out himself for afew mins when he might still be half asleep.

Cash_Q

Been through some bad weeks since about 5/6 months too..apologies I haven't read all the replies as I'm off to bed soon, so some of what I say may have already been said, but I felt I had to reply as we have seen improvements in the last 3 weeks or so, so hopefully the end is in sight for you soon!

My daughter is 8 months old, waking several times a night since about 5/6 months, up for the day at 5/6am.

When I went back to work at 6 months she had already been very well settled in her own room for a few weeks but became very unsettled. This coincided with lots of developmental changes e.g. sitting up, rolling over and her first two teeth.

Bear in mind that some of this could be affecting things for your child and not always dodie falling out, as you say yourself sometimes he is fine and stays asleep with dodie having fallen out. My daughter never took a dodie and still went through all this waking/restless nights.

The 11pm bottle is exhausting for you - why stay up so late yourselves to give it? I go to bed at 8.30pm/9pm, and she might wake at 10.30pm/11pm or might last til 1am/2am. So at least I've had a couple of hours before she wakes, even if it's 11pm, I've had a bit of rest first.

The third nap could still be needed, even if it's only 15 mins. My girl doesn't nap well at all but the days she has a nap somewhere between 4-5pm she is in much better form at bed time.

We were bringing her up at 7pm for a long time, just following the idea of "7 - 7" sleep, but we eventually realised she was so overtired and was so upset by 7pm that she struggled to get asleep and to stay asleep.

We now bring her upstairs at 6pm, depending on her level of calm/grouchy we either give a bath or skip it, and give her last bottle in her bedroom in the dark before putting her down. It can be between 6.30 and 7.30 before she is settled but she's not screaming blue murder for hours like she used to.

After a few days of this earlier bedtime she started staying asleep for longer stretches and this week for example she's only had a feed at 1/2am and otherwise stayed in her cot asleep until 5/6am

I was headed for a breakdown with the lack of sleep, and I had tried dropping feeds, upping feeds, putting her in our bed etc etc but the one thing that made the biggest difference was the earlier bedtime.

Sorry if my reply is rambling and not making sense!

margo321

I think its a bit of luck if they sleep well. I know I tried to never let mine fall asleep on the bottle as knew friends whose babies needed bottles through the night. try keep him even sleepy rather than awake. I'd give weetabix or readybrex before bed as more filling than milupa. I also put a dummy in each hand of my lg she actually would clasp them ans pop one in when she would lose durimg the night. my lb never lost his. The calpol vapour plug in thing helps or your could try saline mist. poor fella has a lot of different things going on and it's all guess work. best of luck. the tiredness is like torture.

savemysleep123 wrote: »

I know, another sleep thread - how cliched! Frazzled FTM sending out an SOS here.

Our almost 8 month old has been an absolute nightmare when it comes to sleep over the last 6 weeks or so, so I'm hoping someone might have been through similar or can offer some advice? Basically just wondering is this normal. Please forgive sleep-deprived word vomit.

So the last time he slept for more than 7/8 hours without waking up was Christmas Eve (the fact that I remember this so clearly says it all!) After Christmas, his sleep pattern unravelled (normal 4 month sleep regression, I know) but most nights were manageable, save for the odd tearing-our-hair-out nights here and there.

We moved him into his own room around 6 months and feel he coped well enough with the transition (better than we expected, actually).

Up until recently, he would usually wake 2-3 times a night looking for his dodie (please nobody suggest phasing that out, I'm going to pick and choose my battles on this one!), but would generally settle back down easily enough. But the past 6 weeks have been worse than the newborn stage for sleep.

There are a few factors here which I'm sure are affecting his sleep:

1) He started in creche a month ago, but dropped his third (late afternoon) nap and is actually in a more structured routine since starting. He's clearly tired when I collect him at 5.30pm and is usually ready for bed/down by 6.30/7pm most nights. He gets his final bottle in his room and most days will fall asleep on the bottle. I'm now wondering has this created a sleep association for him BUT he goes down for naps during the day without any bottle, no bother.


2) He picked up his first cold virus within days of starting creche and has had it for over a month now (have been to doc several times to get him checked, he's been on an antibiotic that has improved him slightly, but is still a bit snotty and wheezy). He had been coughing himself awake quite a bit, felt so sorry for him, but that's gotten better since antibiotic. Doc basically said it just has to pass.

3) Still gets his last feed at 11pm (usually takes around 4oz/5oz). Spoke to PHN about when to phase this out (she said any time between 7-12 months and to give him something creamy to eat at bedtime (i.e. Milupa Fruity Bedtime porridge). We tried this and he woke in hysterics around 4am and only a bottle would pacify him - so scrapped that idea for now. The 11pm bottle (and more to the point, having to stay up til 11pm on the days we're exhausted) is especially killing my husband.


The days that he's not in creche, I try to keep him to as close to their routine as possible, i.e. same awake time (if he stays down til 6am it's a good day! ), same feeding times, try not to let him take that late afternoon third nap. He usually goes down in the evening no problem, but between 12am and 6am he could wake/stir/screech/cry/look for his dodie as many as 10+ times. Most nights lately, we give up and one of us sleeps in his room with him, which helps a little (but he still wakes) but is not sustainable long-term.

I should add that when we go in to settle him, we don't (and have never) picked him up, unless he's really upset. We try to just pat and shush him, and holding his hand or putting your hand on him USUALLY settles him again (again, is this another sleep association we've created?! But how else to comfort him without holding him? He won't respond to shushing or gentle talking on its own).

I know there's been a lot going on in his little world recently, and it's understandable that something's gotta give. And look, babies cry - I get it! But I guess I'm more concerned about whether there's something deeper at the root of it, and should we address it now? Or is it normal? I really, REALLY don't want to do controlled crying (especially not until he's fully over his cold), but don't know how much longer we can do this constant waking. I'm back at work now too, so I can't bear the brunt of it like I did when I was on maternity leave.

Also, the people who told me 'Oh, he'll sleep better once he's weaned' - liars! (Hi, mum.) He's on 3 meals a day and it's made no difference. Probably actually made him a worse sleeper!

Thanks for reading if you got this far!

linpoo

There is a sleep regression around 8 months old....could be that?

I didnt read all the posts but would he be getting enough food during the day? At 8 months he should be having a breakfast dinner and tea.

Maybe he is also unsettled because he missed you while at creche. My little boy acts different in the evenings on the days I work.


On another note its not good for them to fall asleep with a bottle in their mouth as the milk can rot their little baby teeth. My friend is a dental nurse and said the amount of 2 and 3 year olds coming in to get rotten baby teeth pulled from going to bed with milk/juice.

savemysleep123

Meeeee79 wrote: »

Hugs for you OP. Sleep deprivation is so so tough.

Does he wake looking for a bottle or does the dody generally settle him? I always found with our 10 month old when we had sleep issues with him that going into the room and patting his back/shushing him etc made him so much worse. Some babies get more worked up than anything if they know you are there and aren't picking them up. We started giving him 5 mins when he woke before going in. If he was calming down, we would give another couple of mins and keep judging the situation. If he wasn't calming, we would go in and pick him up, give him a cuddle, let him calm and then put him back in the cot somewhat awake. After about 3/4 nights of this it really became effective and sleep hugely improved.

In hindsight, us rushing in the comfort him when he would wake was actually waking him more than letting him work it out himself for afew mins when he might still be half asleep.

Thanks! I guess we go into the room when he starts to stir/cry to try to settle him before he wakes up fully and goes into the 'meltdown' style of crying. I'd be worried that leaving him would make him more upset, but I guess we've never tried this, so it's worth a shot?!

Cash_Q wrote:

Been through some bad weeks since about 5/6 months too..apologies I haven't read all the replies as I'm off to bed soon, so some of what I say may have already been said, but I felt I had to reply as we have seen improvements in the last 3 weeks or so, so hopefully the end is in sight for you soon!

My daughter is 8 months old, waking several times a night since about 5/6 months, up for the day at 5/6am.

When I went back to work at 6 months she had already been very well settled in her own room for a few weeks but became very unsettled. This coincided with lots of developmental changes e.g. sitting up, rolling over and her first two teeth.

Bear in mind that some of this could be affecting things for your child and not always dodie falling out, as you say yourself sometimes he is fine and stays asleep with dodie having fallen out. My daughter never took a dodie and still went through all this waking/restless nights.

The 11pm bottle is exhausting for you - why stay up so late yourselves to give it? I go to bed at 8.30pm/9pm, and she might wake at 10.30pm/11pm or might last til 1am/2am. So at least I've had a couple of hours before she wakes, even if it's 11pm, I've had a bit of rest first.

The third nap could still be needed, even if it's only 15 mins. My girl doesn't nap well at all but the days she has a nap somewhere between 4-5pm she is in much better form at bed time.

We were bringing her up at 7pm for a long time, just following the idea of "7 - 7" sleep, but we eventually realised she was so overtired and was so upset by 7pm that she struggled to get asleep and to stay asleep.

We now bring her upstairs at 6pm, depending on her level of calm/grouchy we either give a bath or skip it, and give her last bottle in her bedroom in the dark before putting her down. It can be between 6.30 and 7.30 before she is settled but she's not screaming blue murder for hours like she used to.

After a few days of this earlier bedtime she started staying asleep for longer stretches and this week for example she's only had a feed at 1/2am and otherwise stayed in her cot asleep until 5/6am

I was headed for a breakdown with the lack of sleep, and I had tried dropping feeds, upping feeds, putting her in our bed etc etc but the one thing that made the biggest difference was the earlier bedtime.

Sorry if my reply is rambling and not making sense!

Thanks for the reply, I think a lot of it might be down to the developmental changes, as you said. He's come on a lot over the past month or so. Plus, the cold virus (he also had conjunctivitis, joy) and he's teething on and off (still no teeth). It's just so frustrating when you don't know exactly what it is so you can try to fix it.

I suppose we give the 11pm bottle because it's his fifth and final bottle of the day and we've been doing that since the start, almost... he never took a middle of the night bottle (small mercies). Our thinking was that if we stayed up to give him one then, then hopefully/eventually he'll sleep through for the rest of the night, we won't have to go downstairs to sort out a bottle with him screaming at 3am, etc. etc... But it hasn't worked out like that in the last 6 weeks!

I get what you're saying about earlier bedtime, it makes sense... if we did this though, my husband wouldn't get to see him at all during the week, apart from a very short time in the morning. As it is, he only sees him for 15/20 mins in the evening when he gets in from work before it's bedtime, so it'd make me really sad to change that for both of them. I'm going to try to encourage him to nap in the car on the way home from creche, I think.

margo321 wrote:

I think its a bit of luck if they sleep well. I know I tried to never let mine fall asleep on the bottle as knew friends whose babies needed bottles through the night. try keep him even sleepy rather than awake. I'd give weetabix or readybrex before bed as more filling than milupa. I also put a dummy in each hand of my lg she actually would clasp them ans pop one in when she would lose durimg the night. my lb never lost his. The calpol vapour plug in thing helps or your could try saline mist. poor fella has a lot of different things going on and it's all guess work. best of luck. the tiredness is like torture.

Thanks. We actually tried the Calpol plug-in thing again last night and I think it made a small difference, he wasn't QUITE as unsettled as he has been other nights.

Another problem is that he won't take ReadyBrek or Weetabix, he's too used to the Sunshine Orange now (which I want to move him off!) - I need to work on this! I'd prefer him to have either of those for breakfast too.

linpoo wrote:

There is a sleep regression around 8 months old....could be that?

I didnt read all the posts but would he be getting enough food during the day? At 8 months he should be having a breakfast dinner and tea.

Maybe he is also unsettled because he missed you while at creche. My little boy acts different in the evenings on the days I work.


On another note its not good for them to fall asleep with a bottle in their mouth as the milk can rot their little baby teeth. My friend is a dental nurse and said the amount of 2 and 3 year olds coming in to get rotten baby teeth pulled from going to bed with milk/juice.

This is definitely something that concerns me, but I feel a bit stuck with this routine now, and I'm reluctant to change it if it's (somewhat) working (in that he goes down to sleep fine most nights straight after his bottle). I do need to address this at some point though, because obviously I don't want him with rotten teeth.

He gets 3 meals a day (he'll eat most if not all of them) and a snack (usually yoghurt) in late afternoon/early evening.

Read about the 8 month regression too, but this has been going on since he was 6 months or so, and hasn't really resolved...!

The creche thing, I don't think so. He's like this on the 4 days that he's in creche and on the 3 he's not. He actually settled in creche more quickly than we expected him to. That's the thing - he's such an easygoing, pleasant and adaptable little man in every other way, but the sleep thing.... aaargh! I suppose there has to be something.

I have myself driven mad with reading stuff that it might be. I feel like the next time I open that bloody 'Wonder Weeks' app, I'm going to bounce my phone off the wall...

shesty

The thing you may have to work on accepting OP is that it is probably not just one single thing with a fix.To be honest, he is doing totally normal 8 month old things, and the likelihood is you will just tinker with changing a few things and one night he will suddenly sleep.But you will probably never know if it is due to what you did!!You are doing fine, once he has a good consistent routine, seriously.I would always wait a few minutes before rushing in to them to settle them, and like another poster, try to wait about five minutes between going in (now if he is absolutely hysterical maybe only wait a minute!!).But if he is having a little wail or a little grump, just leave him for a few minutes....often they are wailing because they find themselves disturbed, and want to go back to sleep, rather than any other reason.

In the meantime, sort out a system with your husband so that you both get some sleep.The only other thing I will say it try to be consistent in your response to him every night.If you are doing one thing one night and a different thing the next night, he will get confused and it will not work.So if you settle for not lifting him out, just patting his tummy, then try to stick to that.Or leaving him for a few minutes, or whatever.

It is so hard, sleep deprivation is a killer.

Meeeee79

savemysleep123 wrote: »

Thanks! I guess we go into the room when he starts to stir/cry to try to settle him before he wakes up fully and goes into the 'meltdown' style of crying. I'd be worried that leaving him would make him more upset, but I guess we've never tried this, so it's worth a shot?!



I have myself driven mad with reading stuff that it might be. I feel like the next time I open that bloody 'Wonder Weeks' app, I'm going to bounce my phone off the wall...

I actually feel like I could have written your posts about 2 months ago when my little fella was 8 months and just a really unsettled sleeper.

We had the exact same thinking rushing in everytime he stirred but the 5 min timing thing really worked a treat for us. Now, we can hear him stir every now and then during the night but within 2/3 mins he will have put himself back to sleep. I actually cant remember the last time we had to go into his room overnight. Its definitely worth a shot.

Im also a strong believer tho that eventually they will just sort it out themselves in their own time and its not a 1 trick will fix it kind of issue for most babies.

Cash_Q

savemysleep123 wrote:

I suppose we give the 11pm bottle because it's his fifth and final bottle of the day and we've been doing that since the start, almost... he never took a middle of the night bottle (small mercies). Our thinking was that if we stayed up to give him one then, then hopefully/eventually he'll sleep through for the rest of the night, we won't have to go downstairs to sort out a bottle with him screaming at 3am, etc. etc... But it hasn't worked out like that in the last 6 weeks!

Yes no harm at all in the 11pm bottle but I would be inclined to go to bed for a while first, 11pm is so so late at night when you're not getting much sleep. You could set an alarm for 11pm to give that feed but the fact he's waking through the night anyway he could be hungry for a bottle then too?

savemysleep123 wrote:

I get what you're saying about earlier bedtime, it makes sense... if we did this though, my husband wouldn't get to see him at all during the week, apart from a very short time in the morning. As it is, he only sees him for 15/20 mins in the evening when he gets in from work before it's bedtime, so it'd make me really sad to change that for both of them. I'm going to try to encourage him to nap in the car on the way home from creche, I think.

Yes I totally understand that, it's so important for all of you that he sees his dad in the evening. You have to do what works for your family. Lucy Wolfe says that sleep difficulties are often down to overtiredness which leads to trouble falling asleep and staying asleep, so a nap on the way home may help him to last until bed time without becoming over tired.

It's so so hard, and this patch for us was the longest rough patch of all, but she's over it now by the looks of things so hopefully you will be too

Bell Eve

I feel your pain! I’m going through something similar with my 9 month old. She used to be an amazing sleeper, and even went through a phase of only waking for 15minutes for a bottle in a 12 hour period!! She lulled us into a false sense of security At 6 months her sleep regress dreadfully and we’re still working on getting her back on track.

Might be good to hear that my health nurse said that if they were able to sleep well before then they can definitely do it again!

Here’s what we’re doing:

We’ve had the same routine since day one of getting her nappy changed, having a last minute play and giggle and then into pjs. Then lights out and bottle time. From birth she would go straight into her cot even if awake and she would fall asleep herself within a few minutes. At 6 months we kept this up but she would just not go to sleep herself, major crying and we’d spend ages pacing around the room rocking and shushing her. It was exhausting for all of us! Then she would wake loads during the night and eventually I would give up and take her into bed with me

Then we bought one of those music playing lights on the ceiling things and it’s been great! So now at bottle time the stars shine on the ceiling and she watches them and listens to the music while drinking. She now usually drops off at the end of her bottle and most nights goes into her cot easily enough. During the night, when she wakes we just turn the music on and most times that puts her back to sleep.

She used to wake for a bottle at 2-4am but the health nurse said to swap it for water and she wouldn’t want it for long! Needless to say she was not impressed but it only took two nights for her to stop looking for a bottle - woohoo!!

We went on a short holiday a couple of weeks ago and I ended up having to take her back into bed with me a few times so that has set us back again! She’s also teething so It’s been another tough few nights at home where I’ve given in and took her in with me.

I’m going to get tough again though and from tonight she’s not getting into our bed!

You’ll get through this, we all will!

savemysleep123

Bell Eve wrote: »

I feel your pain! I’m going through something similar with my 9 month old. She used to be an amazing sleeper, and even went through a phase of only waking for 15minutes for a bottle in a 12 hour period!! She lulled us into a false sense of security At 6 months her sleep regress dreadfully and we’re still working on getting her back on track.

Might be good to hear that my health nurse said that if they were able to sleep well before then they can definitely do it again!

Here’s what we’re doing:

We’ve had the same routine since day one of getting her nappy changed, having a last minute play and giggle and then into pjs. Then lights out and bottle time. From birth she would go straight into her cot even if awake and she would fall asleep herself within a few minutes. At 6 months we kept this up but she would just not go to sleep herself, major crying and we’d spend ages pacing around the room rocking and shushing her. It was exhausting for all of us! Then she would wake loads during the night and eventually I would give up and take her into bed with me

Then we bought one of those music playing lights on the ceiling things and it’s been great! So now at bottle time the stars shine on the ceiling and she watches them and listens to the music while drinking. She now usually drops off at the end of her bottle and most nights goes into her cot easily enough. During the night, when she wakes we just turn the music on and most times that puts her back to sleep.

She used to wake for a bottle at 2-4am but the health nurse said to swap it for water and she wouldn’t want it for long! Needless to say she was not impressed but it only took two nights for her to stop looking for a bottle - woohoo!!

We went on a short holiday a couple of weeks ago and I ended up having to take her back into bed with me a few times so that has set us back again! She’s also teething so It’s been another tough few nights at home where I’ve given in and took her in with me.

I’m going to get tough again though and from tonight she’s not getting into our bed!

You’ll get through this, we all will!

It sounds very similar to our issue, alright. I've never taken him into our bed (mostly because it's too small, and I honestly don't think it'd make a difference to him - he'd be too fascinated pulling my hair, etc!) but one of us will go and sleep in his room with him on the BAD bad nights. That's more for us than for him, I think (i.e. slightly easier than getting out of our bed and go in and out of his room constantly).

His bedtime routine has been pretty consistent since birth also, I'm at a loss to why it's unravelled over the last 6 weeks - but as someone said above, it could be any number of reasons.

I never thought I would fantasise so much about 8 hours of uninterrupted sleep, or the thought of getting into bed with a book at 9pm, knowing that I could go asleep whenever I wanted and won't be woken up....!

It'll pass, it'll pass, it'll pass!