Confessions

Boom_Bap

I've pee'd on my cat.













































Twice.








































Both times by accident.

the beer revolu

Boom_Bap wrote: »

I've pee'd on my cat.


Twice.


Both times by accident.

One of my cats deserves this.
He's peed on my wife.
On several of my shoes/boots.
On my wife's shoe, once.
On my guitar leads.
On our laundry.
Random spots around the house.

I should plss on him!

Deebles McBeebles

Piss on a cat once, shame on you. Piss on a cat twice, shame on the cat.

Tikki Wang Wang

Rubberlegs wrote: »

Anyone old enough to remember Peig, the hated Leaving Cert novel? I could never admit it, but I loved it, absolutely lapped it up. Still have my copy 29yrs later

Edit to add I defaced it to make her look like a hooker to be cool

I’d fap to that tbh !

branie2

kave2 wrote: »

I hate religion.

not me, with the exception of militant Islam

Boom_Bap

Boom_Bap wrote: »

I've pee'd on my cat.

[...]
Twice.

[...]
Both times by accident.

To paraphrase Oscar Wilde, peeing on one's cat once would be unfortunate, but peeing on one's cat twice is probably carelessness.

My cat spies on me in the bathroom. He thinks I don't know.

nthclare

FFred wrote: »

On my morning walk on Monday I listened to Ghosts of War by Slayer, immediately followed by Always Remember Us This Way by Lady Gaga :pac:

Just don't listen to Bucks Fizz "Piece of the action"

It'll really get into your head and you'll have nightmares of redcoats in Mosney or Butlins....

It's a horrific song but very cheezy....

nthclare

Deebles McBeebles wrote: »

Piss on a cat once, shame on you. Piss on a cat twice, shame on the cat.

Love it

Junkyard Tom

nthclare wrote: »

Only a small percentage of people are capable of putting the effort in, but addiction is real believe you me it's real.

And it's very often as a result of something - some trauma or other. Got talking to a fella, he was looking for change, and he had been a Teacher in Scotland who had gotten in a fight resulting in the other guy being killed - he ended up in prison, couldn't cope with what had happened, and turned to the bottle - everyone has a story.

Ragnar Lothbrok wrote: »

I feel really frustrated when I post something in boards that I think is hilarious, then I only get 1 or 2 thanks

I think the funniest posts don't get thanked much - often the reaction to them is even funnier. This for example. Check out the response. That's just bloody funny.

Boom_Bap

The same cat stood by the door wanting to go out. I opened the door, he went out, I closed the door and sat down. The little f*cker turned back around and wanted to come in.
I refused to get up to let him back in. I went to bed and forgot to let him back in.
He disappeared for a few days after that.

If someone uses multiple emojis and frequent - often multiple - exclamation marks on a more than occasional basis, I will assume they're dim.

Now and then, fine.

All the time???:D No!!! It's just not necessary!!!!!!! :D:D:D:cool:

It's annoying!!!:mad::mad:

Multiply the annoyance by a billion if it's that rolleyes fella. He's a powerful little weapon, he needs to be used sparingly and with caution.

Strumms

branie2 wrote: »

I watched Bosco when I was a teenager

Just to watch him die

freshpopcorn

I sometimes pretend to be on my phone to avoid people!

decky1

Deleted User wrote: »

It turns out I do have a few that I can share.

I'm petrified of being an old lady
Sometimes when I need to poo I'm like "nah not bothered right now I'll wait till later".
I don't visit my mam as often as I should.
I've chucked glass bottles in to the regular bin
I don't believe there is such a thing as an addictive personality.
I used to be crazy
Now and then I feel like I still am.
Like when I'm driving and let out a big scream.
I don't see the world through a lens of men and women but people.

glass bottles in the regular bin, good man/ woman keep it up.:cool:

Boom_Bap

I sometimes 'sorry can you repeat' that a few times although fully knowing what was said.
I have a response ready, but there is generally just a kink in it I'm trying to iron out and buying time to do so.

Deebles McBeebles

The time it takes me to complete a task in work depends on if I like the person who requested it.

Febreeze

Deebles McBeebles wrote: »

I shot a man in Reno.

Did you watch him die?

Fiftyfilthy

I sprayed the toilet seat, the wall behind it and the upper porcelain part of the toilet where it can’t flush with my diarrhea in work today


Huge mess to clean up. I think I did but unsure if some left in the toilet seat hinges


I have never sat on a toilet seat since I was about 9

the beer revolu

Fiftyfilthy wrote: »

I have never sat on a toilet seat since I was about 9

Serious question.
Why?

Fiftyfilthy

the beer revolu wrote: »

Serious question.
Why?

Spent a week in a caravan park outside Glasgow

the beer revolu

Fiftyfilthy wrote: »

Spent a week in a caravan park outside Glasgow

No one has ever caught anything from a toilet seat.

Ragnar Lothbrok

the beer revolu wrote: »

No one has ever caught anything from a toilet seat.

But some of them are covered in p!ss and sh!t from the previous occupants, surely?

I have little crushes on a couple of posters.

I won't mention names, but I think people would be surprised.

the beer revolu

Ragnar Lothbrok wrote: »

But some of them are covered in p!ss and sh!t from the previous occupants, surely?

Who shlts on a toilet seat?
Oh, yes annoying people who won't sit down!

Ragnar Lothbrok

the beer revolu wrote: »

Who shlts on a toilet seat?
Oh, yes annoying people who won't sit down!

Bravo! Hadn't thought of that

FFred

Candie wrote: »

I have little crushes on a couple of posters.

I won't mention names, but I think people would be surprised.

*Blushes

Blueshoe

I don't like or trust eastern European men.

But would fall in love with an eastern European woman on their accent alone. I'd listen to them talk all day

decky1

decky1 wrote: »

glass bottles in the regular bin, good man/ woman keep it up.:cool:

I'm a real maverick.

Autecher

Deleted User wrote: »

I'm a real maverick.

Never mind that Persepoly, you are absolutely playing with fire with this confession of yours.

Deleted User wrote: »

Sometimes when I need to poo I'm like "nah not bothered right now I'll wait till later".

Are you mad woman? When you gotta go, for the love of all that is sacred to you GO!!!

Autecher

Candie wrote: »

I have little crushes on a couple of posters.

I won't mention names, but I think people would be surprised.

This is me awaiting your follow up to this

Autecher

Autecher wrote: »

Never mind that Persepoly, you are absolutely playing with fire with this confession of yours.



Are you mad woman? When you gotta go, for the love of all that is sacred to you GO!!!

I know!! The thing is though when I gotta go I don't actually gotta go. I mean it can wait and then well erm its extra ready. Kind of like cooking it. *embarrassedface*

Like Candie I also have Boards crushes. I imagine what they look like in my head. In fact I imagine what all of you look like.

ChippingSodbury

Deebles McBeebles wrote: »

I shot a man in Reno.

Reno must be the murder capital of the world

Hercule Poirot

Sometimes, just for a laugh, I make up a series of occurrences and possibilities to ensure that the wrong person is convicted of murder

FFred

Deleted User wrote: »

In fact I imagine what all of you look like.

Well were you close to what you imagined I look like ?

RMAOK

Hercule Poirot wrote: »

Sometimes, just for a laugh, I make up a series of occurrences and possibilities to ensure that the wrong person is convicted of murder

Very apt username.......

FFred

FFred wrote: »

Well were you close to what you imagined I look like ?

Oh. I'm afraid I haven't imagined you Fred. Yet.

Sebastian Dangerfield

Skill Magill wrote: »

I have never used a toilet brush in my life, I use the blast it off with p/ss method. Over to you

9 out of every 10 times Ive used a toilet brust have been to clean someone elses sh1te off the toilet, usually in work, in case someone thinks its mine.

Purple Mountain

I'm a woman under 5 ft 5 but I can out belch any man any day.
I used to win little challenges back in my college days

FFred

Deleted User wrote: »

Oh. I'm afraid I haven't imagined you Fred. Yet.

I imagine you look like this :pac:

Blueshoe

Purple Mountain wrote: »

I'm a woman under 5 ft 5 but I can out belch any man any day.
I used to win little challenges back in my college days

Jaysus that is manky. Impressive though

FFred

Purple Mountain wrote: »

I'm a woman under 5 ft 5 but I can out belch any man any day.
I used to win little challenges back in my college days

That’s fighting talk !
What about bum belches

RMAOK

Purple Mountain wrote: »

I'm a woman under 5 ft 5 but I can out belch any man any day.
I used to win little challenges back in my college days

Good digestive system at work there.

FFred

FFred wrote: »

I imagine you look like this :pac:

Apart from the wings I look exactly like that!

I went to boarding school and for the last two years, along with *all* the other girls, I was totally addicted to Eastenders.

It was the highlight of our evenings.

Taiga

Coopaloop wrote: »

Hmm it varies, they just have to be nice, well defined arms. Not like body builder type definition. If I had to give an example I would say maybe George Clooney in his ER day scrubs :P, and and example of not so nice arms would be Fr. Dougal from Father Ted .......

I love the Supervets arms. And thighs. Now there's a confession!:D

So serving up the spag bol for the fam this evening, I realised I was using the spoon I use for the dog's food to dish it up but kept going until I got to my plate, then I got a fresh one. It had been washed, but still...

Filmer Paradise

I think anyone who would vote for the Greens should receive Instant Death.

Also I don’t believe in man made climate change and all the hysteria surrounding it.
Still, tis a great way for vested interests to make a few bob though.
People can be very gullible really.

Franz Von Peppercorn II

Candie wrote: »

I have little crushes on a couple of posters.

I won't mention names, but I think people would be surprised.

*** blushes ***

My confession is I like Ed Sheeran. Both the music and the man. I will strongly deny this in real life.

0gac3yjefb5sv7

Filmer Paradise wrote: »

I think anyone who would vote for the Greens should receive Instant Death.

Also I don’t believe in man made climate change and all the hysteria surrounding it.
Still, tis a great way for vested interests to make a few bob though.
People can be very gullible really.

LoL. Anyone who didn't vote for the greens deserves that.

No point in jobs if we don't have a planet.

Strumms

freshpopcorn wrote: »

I don't always feel sorry for people with a sob story!

It seems to be a phenomenon of this fûcking decade that every second cûnt that you ask ‘how are you ?’ Or ‘how’s it going ?’ , purely out of politeness or a term of greeting... They take it literally and 30 minutes later you are listening to the fact that they can’t find the receipt for the leaky kettle, that was probably leaking before they dropped it, almost scalding the cat and the vet has put her prices up, the weather isn’t the same as this time last year and they’ve gone off cornettos... all I fuçking said was.... H E L L O !!!