Confessions

FFred

I am a straight married man but I have a man-crush on Brian Justin Crum

Autecher

Deleted User wrote: »

I know!! The thing is though when I gotta go I don't actually gotta go. I mean it can wait and then well erm its extra ready. Kind of like cooking it. *embarrassedface*

What I have just read there is 30% funny and 70% pure gross. I can only suggest you stop doing this, it will quite literally come back to bite you in the ass someday Persepoly and I hope I am not in the vicinity when that happens! :eek::p

ginandtonicsky

Candie wrote: »

Sometimes when people (men) approach me when I'm out, I pretend I don't speak English until they give up.

Sometimes when men approach men when I'm out, I pretend I'm either 1. married or 2. mentally impaired depending on my mood. Yes i know that second one is terrible. But it works.

Hercule Poirot

I can burp on command

Autecher

ginandtonicsky wrote: »

Sometimes when men approach men when I'm out, I pretend I'm either 1. married or 2. mentally impaired depending on my mood. Yes i know that second one is terrible. But it works.

What is it you do to portray this?

ginandtonicsky

ginandtonicsky wrote: »

Sometimes when men approach men when I'm out, I pretend I'm either 1. married or 2. mentally impaired depending on my mood. Yes i know that second one is terrible. But it works.

Oh yes another thing I do. I drop 'my husband' in to conversation. Or not depending on my mood because I like an auld flirt

Autecher

Autecher wrote: »

What I have just read there is 30% funny and 70% pure gross. I can only suggest you stop doing this, it will quite literally come back to bite you in the ass someday Persepoly and I hope I am not in the vicinity when that happens! :eek::p

I've had a doctor's hand up there Autecher. That times has been and gone.

Strumms

Deleted User wrote: »

I've had a doctor's hand up the Autecher. That times has been and gone.

I’d hope :eek:

Autecher

Deleted User wrote: »

I've had a doctor's hand up there Autecher. That times has been and gone.

:eek::eek::eek::eek:
What you get up to in the bedroom is none of my business

Franz Von Peppercorn II

Autecher wrote: »

What is it you do to portray this?

She acts natural?




I jest.

Autecher

Franz Von Peppercorn II wrote: »

She acts natural?




I jest.

Haha! I was thinking she might do this instead

I sometimes have bad thoughts about other people.

FFred

My oul Ma and Da are still alive but besides the mandatory ‘love’ you are supposed to have for them, I don’t really ‘like’ them as people

StinkyMunkey

I like to watch love island with the wife.

The fastest I've driven is 166mph

I hate concerts/gigs/festivals

I miss being able to fap 4/5 times in one day

I hate the new look woman have - fake tan, bubble lips, 2 inches of make up etc etc

I've never voted in a general election

If I won the lotto, I'd make it my life's mission to prove money can buy happiness

I can't stand Irish comedians or the likes of father ted

con___manx1

I hate friends the tv show

FFred

Deleted User wrote: »

Like Candie I also have Boards crushes. I imagine what they look like in my head. In fact I imagine what all of you look like.

Boo ... my thread inspired by this was shut down. Unfair

branie2

why?

Ken.

branie2 wrote: »

why?

2 pages and no pic comparing me to a young brad pitt so that sh!t had to go.:D

FFred

branie2 wrote: »

why?

No reason given ...

Nosnon

Nosnon wrote: »

2 pages and no pic comparing me to a young brad pitt so that sh!t had to go.:D

Now

KungPao

I sometimes listen to some of Gary Glitter’s numbers.

FFred

And for the record I do kinda look like Ryan Reynolds .... (in his dreams)

FFred

KungPao wrote: »

I sometimes listen to some of Gary Glitter’s numbers.

As long as you don’t look at any of his numbers like 9 , 10 , 11 etc :pac:

Ken.

Deleted User wrote: »

Now

Thread reopened. Cheers Per.

Omackeral

I once sh*t my pants on the 39 Bus going past the Phoenix Park.

Yer Da sells Avon

I'm physically incapable of burping.

the beer revolu

ginandtonicsky wrote: »

Sometimes when men approach men when I'm out, I pretend I'm either 1. married or 2. mentally impaired depending on my mood. Yes i know that second one is terrible. But it works.

Just pretend to be a massive Mundy fan. That should see off any suiter!

Roger Hassenforder

ginandtonicsky wrote: »

Sometimes when men approach men when I'm out, I pretend I'm either 1. married or 2. mentally impaired depending on my mood. Yes i know that second one is terrible. But it works.

Hmmmm
*swipes right

Deebles McBeebles

Deleted User wrote: »

Like Candie I also have Boards crushes. I imagine what they look like in my head. In fact I imagine what all of you look like.

I do that too. I wonder if everyone does it or just people with a visual mind.

Mad_maxx

Can hand on heart say that every single major decision point in my life involved my taking the one I view now as the second best one on offer and the funny thing is I do assess things prior to acting, some people have very second rate judgement

Franz Von Peppercorn II

I’m not very good at online security and use simple passwords.

For instance, someone hacked my account yesterday and said I liked Ed Sheeran.

Ragnar Lothbrok

Franz Von Peppercorn II wrote: »

I’m not very good at online security and use simple passwords.

For instance, someone hacked my account yesterday and said I liked Ed Sheeran.

Excellent, Franz. Made me laugh there, even though I'm in pain.

Boom_Bap

When I'm in public bathroom I always try to fart really loud to see how people react.
No high 5's, fist bumps or chest bumps yet.

5star02707

3 minimum concerts / gigs I attend to in a year

pq0n1ct4ve8zf5

freshpopcorn wrote: »

I sometimes pretend to be on my phone to avoid people!

I sometimes have full on fake conversations on the phone in Irish as a way to sell chocolate to Americans.

I have a BARELY conversational level of Irish, if I ever happen to try it with someone who can actually speak it it'll be incredibly embarassing but you know what, so far it's worked fairly well

Ragnar Lothbrok

Ragnar Lothbrok wrote: »

I don't really like dogs.

Sometimes, people with handicaps annoy me.

I hate fascists, but the nazi uniform and flags etc, looked cool as fuk.

I hate women's football. It's just not very good, folks.

I don't find fat women attractive.

Sometimes, at home only, I don't wash my hands after a wee (seldom, but it does happen occasionally).

I don't really want to go to see Mrs. Ragnar's friend and her new baby tonight.

I'm sure I can think of plenty more in time.

I did think of a few more:

I occasionally pee in the shower.

I help other people out all the time, but I really, really enjoy getting the praise for it. Is this the "sin of pride"?

I'm great at looking like I'm always busy at work, but I spend half my day on Boards

I'm really good at my job, so manage to do the required work at a high standard, much quicker than anyone expects (is this the sin of pride showing again?)

If I can't find my spider catcher quickly enough, I will kill the spider (I really hate and fear them ) I know this is wrong, but I have no regrets about it at the time.

A long time ago I had a job as a Security Guard, based in many different sites. I robbed each and every one of them (never anything major, just things like cleaning supplies, stationery, packages of meat, books, etc). In my defence, I never went overboard, and was working very unsociable hours on absolutely terrible pay, so I justified it to myself.

I'm going to take a tea break from 3.00 to 3.30 this afternoon, even though I'm only working 2.30 - 4.00.

Deebles McBeebles

Dogs and spiders, R? You're a monster!

Ragnar Lothbrok

Deebles McBeebles wrote: »

Dogs and spiders, R? You're a monster!

I have never killed a dog :eek:

Deebles McBeebles

Ragnar Lothbrok wrote: »

I have never killed a dog :eek:

Hahaha while I am relieved to hear that, I was just talking about your dislike of both.

Ragnar Lothbrok

Deebles McBeebles wrote: »

Hahaha while I am relieved to hear that, I was just talking about your dislike of both.

I'm a cat person, what can I say!

As for spiders - they are 8-legged, freaky, evil, demon spawn.

Ken.

Ragnar Lothbrok wrote: »

I have never killed a dog :eek:

I have. Guy set his dog on my cat so I killed the dog.

Boom_Bap

I fart around my dog to see how much I can scare her.

Deebles McBeebles

Boom_Bap wrote: »

I fart around my dog to see how much I can scare her.

I looked after a lab cross for a while and she used to fart like a human. Big, loud, full-on farts that you would expect to hear from one of the lads in the etiquette thread.

My confession is that even in my mid-20's I found this way funnier than I should have.

GRACKEA

I'm drunk at 2:30 after a boozy lunch and loving it!

Ragnar Lothbrok

Another confession (I'm beginning to think I'm a Bad Man )

Went home at lunch time and the only cat food left in the cupboard was the particular flavour he doesn't like (I buy big multi packs with different fishy flavours in it and have learnt long ago that he will just not eat the flavour in the red pouch). I put it in his bowl to see would he eat it, but alas no, he just stood there staring at me and meowling like an infant.

For the benefit of anyone that doesn't have a cat, I have to explain that cats are extremely fussy when it comes to food (they are the opposite of dogs, who eat their own sh!te). He's never hungry anyway, as he gets fed pretty much constantly!

So anyway, I couldn't cope with the whining, and I went to the cupboard to see what type of acceptable human food there might be for him. BINGO! A large tin of mackerel in tomato sauce. I poured it into a clean bowl and he attacked it with gusto.

Now for the confession part: The mackerel belongs to my lodger - I'm vegetarian so would never have any of my own food that Shadow would eat.

TLDR: My cat is fussy, but I will steal your food if he wants it.

FatherTed

StinkyMunkey wrote: »

I like to watch love island with the wife.

The fastest I've driven is 166mph

I hate concerts/gigs/festivals

I miss being able to fap 4/5 times in one day

I hate the new look woman have - fake tan, bubble lips, 2 inches of make up etc etc

I've never voted in a general election

If I won the lotto, I'd make it my life's mission to prove money can buy happiness

I can't stand Irish comedians or the likes of father ted

Careful now...

Up Donegal

Boom_Bap wrote: »

If there is someone driving aggressively behind me, I will remain driving careful and safely, but will let every other road user out of junctions, let all pedestrians cross the road and watch their rage boil up.

Me too...and stick rigidly to 50 KPH & 60 KPH speed limits.

freshpopcorn

Sometimes somebody will appear on The Late Late Show/etc and they'll sing a song or read a poem and social media will break be in saying how brilliant they are most of the time I find the person crap/out of tune!

mvl

so - just after getting annoyed at what looks to me a controlling person posting their queries in the wrong forum, i realized i am not following my own rules (and this is my confession): not to post on threads that are opened by ppl with less than 100 posts.