Girlfriend's nude

Big88jay

We have been dating for quite some time now ( about 2years) and in every way she made me feel I'm the only one until recently I found out she has been cheating on me with different guys, apparently one of her one-nighters got in his feelings, tried to date her and her refusal to date the guy whom is a hacker/developer, infiltrated her phone just to get back at her.

I got a mail addressed to me from someone using with the subject, " lost but found" , with anxiety I clicked open the email and behold several nudes of my girl with different guys, the sender did not leave a name but with a short message, "you've been a fool all along" and a contact that led to a <SNIPPED> should incase I have questions.

In no time I reached out to the contact , at first I thought it was a blackmail scheme to extort me but at that point I actually do not give a **** so I bumped the question, who are you and what do you want? After minutes of back and forth conversation, he revealed a lot of truth about my girl he found out on her various social media accounts and he was only trying to save me from future heartbreak.

I’m still looking for a perfect way to call this quit , I truly love my girl but this is not acceptable.

368100

Perfect way is to call her out on it and walk away. Don't lower yourself to any kind of revenge or showing her up in public. She obviously doesn't have an ounce of respect you so It might be hard but try and move on and find someone who does.

antix80

Tell her you're breaking up with her and don't say why. She'll either be honest with you, or she'll act dumb in which case you'll know you made the right decision.

bigpink

This a scam?

Dtp1979

She sounds like quite the little sociopath. Dude, you’ve a tough few months ahead of you. There’s nothing anyone can say that’ll make this better for you right now.
I’d personally pack her bags, maybe have a few holes cut in her best stuff, leave them at the door with a note attached, telling her you know the story. Then block her.
Best of luck.

Arrival

First of all you must realise that confronting them and letting them know you know and that it's hurt you is pointless, absolutely pointless. It may seem like a good idea to do, but it is not, it will not give you the closure you think it will but only make you regret how you behave from the moment you've discovered this. So listen to this advice. When it comes to vile people who behave like this and you discover it you break up by not actually breaking up, you just ghost them. Don't tell her you're ending things, if you see her just act like she's not even there, turn off your read receipts on any messaging apps they'll contact you through and never respond. Basically never interact with this person again, ever. Leave them wondering about what's going on and whether or not it's because you found out about their **** behaviour and then they'll continue wondering about how you found out, but they'll never truly know how or why. That's your closure. That's how you hold onto your last bit of pride and self respect and some semblance of power. I'm seriously warning you, listen to this or you'll feel even worse over the coming tough months you've to go through. The alternative will lead to some sort of pathetic emotional grovelling, do not ****ing do that. Be strong.

Unfortunately there are people like this who blend in amongst the rest of us. Don't be an idiot and allow another second of your time to be wasted on them. If you don't do exactly what I'm saying here you're going to look back in a few months time and regret not listening, I'd bet every cent I have on that.

Big Bag of Chips

Surely first stop is talking to her. This fella seems fairly handy with tech, are you sure that all these nudes of your gf with other fellas are actually real? There's every chance she has cheated on you. There's also every chance this is a very angry bloke with a grudge.

He's being the big brave man behind anonymous usernames. She's the person you have been going out with for 2 years. Talk to her. It may all unravel, and if it does then so be it. But it might not be as it seems right now either. He seems to be going to an awful lot of trouble to produce dirt on her. If he had slept with her, he could simply have told you that and showed you proof, texts whatever.

It may all be true. She may deny it, at first. But at least tell her you've been contacted by someone and what they've told you.

Roen

If she is what's she's portrayed to be then be prepared for you being painted as the bad guy in this.

Tired Gardener

I'd caution against any rash decision, talk to her about it and see if she can prove that it is a false accusation. Her initial reaction will be a good indication of whether it is true or not.

My first thought about the photos, is how do you know they are recent? Could they be from previous relationships/encounters?

Some people here have spoken about damaging her favourite clothes, I'd strongly advise against that, it is criminal damage and she could use that against you.

If the allegations are true and she confesses, I'd recommend leaving the relationship, get tested for STD/STIs, and move on with your life

Big Bag of Chips

Dtp1979 wrote: »

... maybe have a few holes cut in her best stuff....

Cop on.

zapper55

Did you find out she was cheating and then this guy sent pics or is this the first youve heard of it?

If the latter then I'd make bloody sure she cheated first. Could just ad easily be an ex with a grudge. An ex that hacked her phone.

Also this type of revenge porn is or will be illegal very soon. You could find yourself in jail if you circulated the pictures any wider.

The perfect revenge? Live a happy life without her. Any type of revenge will make you look deranged and could eat you up more than you realise.

Lackadaisical

It's very possible that those photos have been faked or there's some explanation.

It's quite possibly revenge porn, which isn't all that unusual and can be designed to do maximum damage to her or your relationship.

It's very strange for someone to approach with images like that in the way you've described. There could be a motive. It might be a person with a grudge against her. It could be a psycho ex. It could also be someone trying to destroy your relationship for some reason.

Think about it for a moment: where would someone even get those images? It doesn't make a whole lot of sense that they'd have just stumbled upon them. Something very odd about it.

You need to take a deep breath and decide to approach this in a very calm way and just sit down and explain what happened and be prepared to listen.

Don't simmer and ponder it either. You need to get to the bottom of something like that fast and so does she, regardless of what the facts are.

Put the facts on the table and see what happens. That's really all you can do.

My first instinct would be that you're dealing with revenge porn or extortion though.

Dtp1979

Big Bag of Chips wrote: »

Cop on.

Yea, I’d be the first person to think that after a spouse cheated on them

Big Bag of Chips

Dtp1979, regardless of what you think, your comments are a breach of the forum charter.

Read it and familiarise yourself with it before posting in PI or RI again.

Thanks

LegacyUser

zapper55 wrote: »

The perfect revenge? Live a happy life without her. Any type of revenge will make you look deranged and could eat you up more than you realise.

+ 1 this all the way OP. If you are sure the images are genuine then just end it and walk away. Look after yourself and get an STI test.

Don't respond to the guy sending the pictures anymore, honestly he's got his own issues if his reaction to someone rejecting him is to break into their phone (regardless of the GF cheating, that's between her and OP, this guy could easily have just emailed the OP and told him about the cheating without the photos) If he feels you aren't reacting enough ie trashing her stuff, making photos public etc he may take matters into his own hands and as others have stated revenge porn like this is a hot legal issue you want to be no where near.

Calypso Realm

Agree with the posters who advised not making any rash decisions, avoiding knee-jerk reactions before establishing the authenticity of all these claims. There's something not quite right about them IMO.

I have to add though since it crossed my mind on reading through your post I find it very strange that if she actually was cheating, you never had any inkling whatsover in all that time together. Two years is a long time and you're bound to have had some suspicions before now. How often did/do
you see each other? Does she or you, for instance frequently travel abroad for work etc? Of course some of your answers may help to shed more light upon the situation.

blue note

Make sure not to send the photos to anyone, you'll end up being the bad guy if you do. Hang onto them for yourself if you like though. You certainly don't owe her anything, so I wouldn't feel guilty about keeping them if you think you might like to revisit them in the future.

Rocket19

blue note wrote: »

Hang onto them for yourself if you like though. You certainly don't owe her anything, so I wouldn't feel guilty about keeping them if you think you might like to revisit them in the future.

What does that even mean? Creepy AF.

Kidchameleon

All I can say is that it does look bad but.... some of the deep fake vids I have seen look like reality and these are just PICTURES. Very easy to fake. So I would suggest you somehow find out for sure that they are real before you say anything to her.

Jurgen Klopp

blue note wrote: »

Make sure not to send the photos to anyone, you'll end up being the bad guy if you do. Hang onto them for yourself if you like though. You certainly don't owe her anything, so I wouldn't feel guilty about keeping them if you think you might like to revisit them in the future.

Jaysus

Jurgen Klopp

As well as a possible deepfake could they be nudes she had in her cloud from before ye met?

LegacyUser

Calypso Realm wrote: »

Agree with the posters who advised not making any rash decisions, avoiding knee-jerk reactions before establishing the authenticity of all these claims. There's something not quite right about them IMO.

The more I think about it the more odd it sounds. Why would she take nudes of herself with different guys? is this something she's done with you? if it's a kink of hers fair enough, maybe she gets off on the exhibition side of it but if this isn't something you know she's into then it seems really odd for someone who is cheating to take a nude WITH the guy each time and have it on their phone. ignore the guy who stole the images, you could have stumbled upon by mistake at any time. I could understand if she had nudes of herself alone on her phone that she was sending to someone but to take a photo nude with what is pretty much a one night stand just seems rather strange.

GooglePlus

Check the properties on the image, you'll know if they were taken directly from her phone camera or if they were manipulated in anyway then.

wiggle16

I think you need to remember that the kind of person who is going to send you stuff like this is NOT doing it to help you. They're doing it for themselves, to get at her or to get back at her for something. These are not the actions of someone who is looking out for you.

If there was any truth to it, why not send screenshots of conversations? Why be anonymous? Has this person ever actually sent you anything to show they've ever interacted with her?

And think about it... why and how would some guy have nudes of her with OTHER men? Why would she have pictures like this in her media? Why would he care?

It doesn't ring true. I think you should talk to her and then to the Gardai.

GooglePlus

wiggle16 wrote: »

I think you need to remember that the kind of person who is going to send you stuff like this is NOT doing it to help you. They're doing it for themselves, to get at her or to get back at her for something. These are not the actions of someone who is looking out for you.

If there was any truth to it, why not send screenshots of conversations? Why be anonymous? Has this person ever actually sent you anything to show they've ever interacted with her?

And think about it... why and how would some guy have nudes of her with OTHER men? Why would she have pictures like this in her media? Why would he care?

It doesn't ring true. I think you should talk to her and then to the Gardai.

A good perspective on it all.

Very easy to let emotions take over and I'd be lying if I said I wouldn't be losing my mind in the same situation.

Probably best to take a step back, breath and involve your girlfriend. Even if she did do what she's being accused of, these photos are of her and nobody deserves to have something like that in the ether.

wiggle16

Also: This person has also gone to great lengths to be anonymous and hide their identity. Why hide if you've nothing to hide? The only thing these pictures are "proof" of is that someone has it in for her, and doesn't want either of you to know who they are.

Go to the Gardaí before this person can cover their tracks any further.

Lackadaisical

Given that someone's gone to the trouble or hiding their tracks using untraceable Telegram messaging, they're probably fairly tech savvy and photographs can be very seriously photoshopped to the level that you really would not know the difference.

It could be an ex who took photos of them or something like that too.

It really does sound like revenge porn or some attempt to damage or blackmail your GF.

You need to talk to her and get to the bottom of this as she's quite possibly the victim of a very nasty crime.

strandroad

Can you tell by her hair, appearance etc if the photos are recent? It could be her exes, and someone with a grudge revenge porn-ing her having hacked her phone. Far more likely that she was taking such photos with exes than with random one night stands?

con___manx1

She cheated with an absolute gobshiite stalker nerd.
Take some consolotion in that at least.
Little bitchh nerd.
He could of photo shopped those pics with his nerdy knowlege and just did stuff over the pics and now he is trying to get you out of the picture.

Victor

Might the messages actually be from your girlfriend?

Make sure that all your passwords are changed and give your girlfriend the same advice.

CiboC

Don't jump to conclusions OP, the one thing that sounds very off about this is that you were sent pictures of her with a variety of other men.

How would this guy have had access to those images? It's possible they may be old pictures that she had stored over the years but then she would look different from one picture to another (as above, hairstyles/colour etc.) If taking pictures of herself nude with men is her 'thing', has she done this with you over the last 2 years?

Last year my wife was sent an email implying that she had been in a threesome with some guy and his wife, and asking did she want to do it again. I know it's completely untrue mainly because I trust my wife but also because we were abroad together at the time this was supposed to have happened! She showed it to me straight away, and we've no idea what the purpose behind the email was, we never responded.

There are plenty of weird people out there, maybe this is just some guy who was spurned by your partner or is a bitter ex and wants to screw up her relationship with you.