Havent had sex/sexual contact in a while with my partner..

clo1

So basically my partner called it out last night after months of no sexual contact between us in eight months.....and it got me thinking as to why we have ended up like this and what can we do to work on it as we have a near perfect relationsip every other way but we havent done anything sexual in a while-To the point where I now feel awkward at the thought and my partner feels unwanted and we are both wondering why this has happened.

It is worth noting that we used to have lots of sex and it has ALWAYS been great but its just the lack of it now thats worring. We said last night how we really dont see any other issues in our relationship but that issue could be the one thing that could end things as we both find it weird and he says he may get frustrated.

Although I cant say myself that I have a high sex drive, or initiate sex very much but I do enjoy it in the moment, I just havent felt 'horny' recently or had a sexual desire. I could probably go without for a while but this is also NOT what I want and I want to make my partner happy because I love him.

Any ideas as to why this is happening or how we can work on it? Anyone had any other similar experiences, Id love to know as it is upsetting me greatly.

baby and crumble

As someone who's been on your BF's side of things, it's honestly one of the worst feelings in a relationship. For my wife, the root cause of her lack of sex drive is a number of different things, but I would encourage you to look into it with a doctor, because there could be a really simple hormonal issue or something.

It may be that you have a low sex-drive naturally, and that's fine, but if your partner isn't happy, and you want to keep them happy then some level of compromise is needed. That may be having to make an effort to feel horny on your own accord - waiting for the feeling to strike obviously isn't working. I'm not saying you should have sex when you don't want it just to keep him happy, but there are lots of things you can do to get things moving, as it were. The fact you guys are talking about it sensibly by the sounds of things is a really good sign.

We found going to a relationship counselor that specialises in sex therapy helpful. Like you, our relationship is great in pretty much every other facet, so it was important for us to work on it. It's a constant work in progress but the key was getting to a point where it was acknowledged and we could talk about it without embarrassment was the crucial factor in keeping us together.

Good luck.

mariaalice

Just go for it, send a txt to your partner while they are in work with a few suggestions of want is going to happen when they come home it might set the mood for both of you a little bit of anticipation and then go for it.

It sounds like you are over analysing it too much.

Like a lot of things in life you might have to work at it.

Airyfairy12

Could it be a hormone problem? Maybe go to the GP and get your thyroid and hormones checked.

If thats not it, you said that you feel awkward about having sex with him, have you lost attraction to him? Do you see him as more like a best friend than a lover?
Some counselling might help you to work through it.

clo1

Yes I am going to both next week