Nice turn of phrase you've heard

sligojoek

I'd eat the leg of the lamb of god.

Dick phelan

Money won't make you someone your not, it allows you to be who you really are.

Never step on anyone's toes to get ahead, in the future they may lead to the ass you need to kiss

God doesn't take a check (Meaning your money's no good to you when you die)

Feisar

storker wrote: »

One of my dad's...

"There's great freedom in having no choice."

Really like that one!

Feisar

Oh I'd say they'd cut yer hair with yer hat on.

Referring to a cute hoor.

A good pun is its own reword.

amber2

It’s like rubbing lard to a fat pigs arse.

After a gatherer comes a scatterer.

boombang

Cool as a breeze

branie2

He'd rob you of a decade of the rosary

I've seen more fat on an oven chip.

He'd rob the eye out of your head and come back for your eyelashes.

He'd get up on a cracked plate.

sligojoek

She's a pair of legs on her that would kickstart a JCB on a frosty morning.

Stop moaning ffs

He Should be shot with balls of his own shyte

* self explanatory I hope

Strumms

We used to have a teacher and when he’d want to give you a dressing down would get you to stand up, deliver his ‘talking to’ then finish with...”now sit down there like a good lad and take the weight off the floor”

FMG

He'd ate a picture of the Last Supper .

Sharp MZ700

I could ate the back feet of a low flying duck. (I'm starving)

DrPhilG

He couldn't even lay straight in the bed.

*dishonest

moonage

That's about as suspicious as a nun doing squats in a cucumber field.

Seanieke

"Flat out like a badger on a bypass"

El_Duderino 09

Seanieke wrote: »

"Flat out like a badger on a bypass"

Couple of variations of the same one.

Flat-out (pause to sound like you're actually busy) like an egg in a pan.
Flat-out... Like a lizard drinking


Hungover
"how are you after last night"?
"sick as a hospital" or "sick as a bus to Lourdes"

Stop moaning ffs

If it was raining soup he’d be out with a fork

BENDYBINN

A lucky man..
If he threw up **** it would come down as chocolate...

sligojoek

^^^^^^^^

The opposite.

If he fell into a barrel of tits he'd come out sucking his thumb.

skooterblue2

This is my Aunts favourite phrase and funnily enough it applies to herself.

(After hearing someone had passed away)... "Hell won't be full without him/her!"

DrPhilG

BENDYBINN wrote: »

A lucky man..
If he threw up **** it would come down as chocolate...

If he fell in the river he'd come up with a salmon in his mouth

Seanachai

Guy I worked with told me about a fella where he's from used to say, 'Burst pipe and phuck it!' a lot when he was under pressure.

Another one is, 'I never met the baytings of him', in other words I never met anybody like him.

'She'd turn the milk sour', pretty self explanatory

NoteAgent

"That's about as useful as Anne Frank's drumset"

rainbowdrop

"I've seen better legs hanging out a snack box"
"Better legs hanging out a nest"

When my Dad wanted us to do something for him when we were younger, and we complained:

" No good in having a dog and barking yourself"

Private Joker

I'd eat the back wheel off a menstrual cycle

Private Joker

i wouldn't ride her into battle

sligojoek

He thinks he knows it all but he doesn't know enough to know that he knows nothing.

Tweeter

A sniper wouldn't take her out

She's seen more helmets than Hitler

You've a neck like a giraffe

Captain Red Beard

sligojoek wrote: »

He thinks he knows it all but he doesn't know enough to know that he knows nothing.

If he had two brains he'd be twice as stupid.

If he had a brain cell it would die of loneliness.

Stop moaning ffs

Private Joker wrote: »

i wouldn't ride her into battle

I genuinely am laughing out loud. This is gas
Thank you

the14thwarrior

a few fries short of a happy meal

elevator doesn't go all the way to the top floor

yo yo knickers

more meat on a butchers apron (skinny)

relax the cax (and give me sex)

trashcan

Stop moaning ffs wrote: »

He Should be shot with balls of his own shyte

* self explanatory I hope

Never quite understood this one. I mean, if I have to be shot with balls of Shyte, I'll take my own rather than someone else's, thanks

trashcan

He/she has a face like a bulldog licking p1ss off a nettle

Captain Red Beard

Same soup, just reheated.

Rows Grower

trashcan wrote: »

Never quite understood this one. I mean, if I have to be shot with balls of Shyte, I'll take my own rather than someone else's, thanks

I think it means nobody else in the world would give a **** for ya.

Up Donegal

You've a face on ye like a bulldog chewing a wasp!

passremarkable

Cute hoor
No flies on him, and if there was they be paying rent

Domestos wouldn’t shift her( wouldn’t kiss an ugly girl)

Water always find its own level
(Someone been perceived in a certain way and duly acting that way)

wizardman

Rotten with the poke

Translation: loads of money, wealthy etc

"See him he's rotten with the poke"

garra

A sniper wouldn't take her out

He has a neck like a jockeys boll0x

I've seen better legs hangin out of a bird's nest

He hasn't a rashers

1o059k7ewrqj3n

It's not exactly a well established phrase, but the "do, do" people say from time to time really is endearing.

Not a classic example, but in this Pingu video at 1:40.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qNxXego2D8A

JustAThought

Had forgotten tgis one but reading the fabulous Ross O Carroll Kelly today reminded me:

That will really snap her crayons for her.


Dying laughin!

sligojoek

Heard a lad on Liveline today giving out about lack of wheelchair facilities in modern buildings.

"Architects and engineers have too much education and not enough common sense."

sligojoek

JustAThought wrote: »

Had forgotten tgis one but reading the fabulous Ross O Carroll Kelly today reminded me:

That will really snap her crayons for her.


Dying laughin!

I've read a good few f them but never came across this. Is it something that will make her angry?

ZV Yoda

When I was a kid, if my dad sent me to the shop for something, he’d say “don’t be there till you’re back... and if you fall, don’t wait to pick yourself up”. In other words - hurry up.

“He/she wouldn’t get a wave at Dollymount” - I.e, not exactly a good looking person.

“Marry a man with a short cough and long pockets” - I.e, marry a rich man who’s close to death.

“He/she wouldn’t spend Christmas” - they’re stingy

“Never mind the cat... I wouldn’t put the light out on a night like that” - bad weather outside.

sligojoek

You wouldn't put a milk bottle out in that rain.

Stop moaning ffs

What was the one when you were a kid where if you stick you tongue out and it’s black you’re lying

Anyone remember?

jimgoose

That fella is the two ends of a mule's tool.