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2yr old sleep regression and newborn jealousy

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  • 30-06-2019 12:28am
    #1
    Family Gal
    Registered Users Posts: 23 ✭


    Hi

    My 2 yr old girl has gone from a contented sleeper (7pm to 8am) to climbing out of cot and waking a few times at night and ready for the day at 6:30 am.
    Also refusing daytime nap even though obviously tired

    Other changes:
    -extreme mood swings and never seen before screaming tantrums
    -lack of appetite and refusing normal meals which would normally enjoy
    -refusing ,normally enjoyed , ‘bubbly bath’.
    - only wants me , her mum to help her when before she would love her dad or grandmother to do so.


    This all happened over night and as co-insides with speech and physical ability developments can be attributed to a normal age relAted cognitive leap but as it also co- insides with a newborn baby sister arriving a week before her 2 nd birthday I believe jealousy , insecurity and frustration are also core to this behavioral change.

    As I am breast feeding baby is very dependant on me and therefore always in my harms which doesn’t help matters .

    She is mentally going through massive developmental changes which are unfortunately co-insiding with her mum not having empty arms to focus on her due to this new baby.

    The main fallout from this is that she is frustrated , angry , aggressive towards new baby and those close to her.

    Any advise to
    -help restore peaceful sleep for her
    -stop seeing new baby sister as a threat
    -help with reducing developmental frustration
    -what to do / say when she has a tail spin tantrum

    Thank you for any suggestions,


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    #2
    scarepanda
    Registered Users Posts: 3,452 ✭✭✭scarepanda


    I've an almost 3 year old who was 2yrs and 8mths when my 10 week old arrived.

    -help restore peaceful sleep for her

    Routine routine routine. Try stick to it as much as possible. If you used to do bedtime, is there anyone who can mind baby while you do it? Maybe add in something new where she can get extra comfort like a couple minutes of a cuddle session? As usual though it's probably just a phase. If she's getting out of the cot then maybe it's time for a bed? Be warned though, they like the novelty of being able to get up out of bed!

    -stop seeing new baby sister as a threat

    Involve her as much as you can with 'helping' to look after baby like getting the nappy ready, handing you wipes stuff like that that she is able to do.
    Have conversations with her and sister along the lines of 'your my best big girl, X is my best small girl' stuff like that. Big girl/little girl goes over my girls head, but she loves having little chats with me over her sister now and has also started to have her own conversions with the baby so we give the baby a 'voice' when she's taking to her.
    My girl also likes sitting on the arm of the couch when I'm nursing the baby. It's 50/50 for me because sometimes I'm very touched out, but when I'm not it's lovely being able to cuddle when the baby is feeding.
    If she's being too rough a time out is used. We usually only need to give her a countdown and she makes the right decision so timeouts are not common.

    -help with reducing developmental frustration

    Time and patience and understanding. We're going through a leap here at the moment as well as toilet training and it's tough at times, so you have my sympathies.

    -what to do / say when she has a tail spin tantrum

    Not sure what the best thing to do is tbh as the tantrum is the culmination of all of the above. What we try do is to ignore the bad behaviours but acknowledge the feelings, it's a fine line though tbh.


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    #3
    shesty
    Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 6,909 Mod ✭✭✭✭shesty


    Normal, unfortunately.
    Good advice above.I would also recommend spending time with her when the baby is asleep.Sit and colour with her or read her a book or something.Just give her your undivided attention for half an hour or whatever, and let your house fall asunder around you.

    As regards the tantrums, they will be a feature for the next year or so.Try to head them off before they become a full pitched screaming fit because once that happens, you cannot reason with it and you are almost better to let it run it's course.Some ways to help are to firstly not let her get too tired or hungry (if she is not napping and up at 6:30, I would insist on the nap.Their sleep goes funny at 2, but if you stick firmly to your routine and insist on the nap everyday, she will get back into the habit), offer her a choice when you can (only of two things -this yoghurt or that yoghurt;this book or that book - that kind of thing).Most of all I would not give the tantrums too much attention and hold whatever line you are trying to enforce-without losing it yourself if you can!!!Don't be afraid of the trantrums.


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