teens selling personal items/possessions??

Nikki Sixx

Is it possible that he sol the items for more than he is saying? Could he have gotten say €500 more than he said he got for them?

weldoninhio

Hannaho wrote: »

Hi! My nephew sold two cameras he had - one basic, one fairly good - he is 16 and has lost interest in photography. It was a hobby when he was 13/14, and he was quite good at it. He also sold a trumpet - he plays the trumpet, and is also really good at it. He sold the initial trumpet that he had age 13. My sister said it was about 500 euros new. He got a new trumpet two years ago, as he has won several competitions. My sister and her hubby really annoyed as it is only when they went looking for the cameras - their son said he would help out with the photography for the TY musical, and would also do work experience with a local photographer for TY, that they realised it was gone. My newphew initially said he didn't know where the two cameras had gone, that they were in the attic, but then when my sister said they had also searched the attic, he said he had sold them both for 550 euros, including two lenses. My sister and her hubby then told my nephew that they couldn't find his old trumpet, and he eventually admitted that he had sold that too, and received 150 euros for it. So in all, he received about 700 euros for items he sold in the last couple of months, but here's the issue for them also, he didn't buy any big items with the money, it's not in his account, and he continually gets 10-15 euros a day from my sister depending if he needs to top up his leapcard as well as buy lunch. My sister is annoyed at the lies, worried re what he actually spent his money on, and is annoyed that they have been working hard to give him money for daily stuff, when he has earned over 700 euros selling stuff in the last few months. Sorry for long post. Wondered what people think here. My nephew is over in ours at the moment, with my sister's permission, as she and hubby are so mad at him.

He needs a kick up the arse and a dose of reality. If I were his father I’d be selling his PlayStation/TV while he is over in yours to teach him a lesson. He’s being mollycoddled by both his parents and yourself. He’s 16, not 6.

Nekarsulm

He is getting 450 a month from his mother ( thats a weeks wages, ffs) and needs to sell musical instruments and cameras as well?
I'd be cutting the pocket money to 5 a day, and let him get a summer job.
If he dosent get work, perhaps an extra 10 on Saturdays.
And he needs to lose the attitude as well, or live at his own house.

thequarefellow

weldoninhio wrote: »

He needs a kick up the arse and a dose of reality. If I were his father I’d be selling his PlayStation/TV while he is over in yours to teach him a lesson. He’s being mollycoddled by both his parents and yourself. He’s 16, not 6.

Well said

Nikki Sixx

I’d be all for a thorough search of his room. It’s the only way you will know what he’s up to. He is hiding something.

Water John

It's a step father, that makes it a bit more tricky.

ted1

Hannaho wrote: »

Nikkisix- it's not private school, but is in the top 400. He would say that the kids with money there took cocaine, and the children whose parents weren't that well off, took cannabis.

Powertowait, he doesn't seem to have new clothes - in fact, his clothes looked so worn out recently, that my sister went and bought him half a wardrobe, as he refused to go shopping to buy clothes, even on his own. Treating a girlfriend - we don't think he has had any girlfriend as such but does have a lot of female friends. His brother is only 15 months older than him, and would usually hear if he had a girlfriend. Other stuff - I don't know - he uses his man's visa debit card to buy games, with her permission. He won't talk, so it's going to take a while to find out. 700 quid isn't a lot of money, but when a family isn't that financially well off, and a child sells significant items that were bought for him, without saying anything, and then refuses to say what the money was spent on - it makes one uneasy, and also rankles - I think this is why my sister is so annoyed.

Top 400? That’s new one, there’s only 723

ShlugEireann

Have you ruled out the drinking/cigarettes prospect?

Hannaho

Hi! thanks for all the replies. I was involved in talking to him, precisely because he would talk to me more about stuff, or maybe listen more to what I have to say than his parents - that's just in recent years since he became a teenager.

Re the money. He denied drugs or gambling - still can't be sure though, but my son has roughly the same set of friends, as in their friends overlap, because they are of a similar age - and my son doesn't think my nephew is doing drugs/cannabis. I am personally very against cannabis use in adolescents, as I work in the addiction services, and have seen lots of teenagers developing psychosis from regular cannabis use, and also developing anxiety or just complete apathy. Re the gambling he just denies it. States that he bought games etc. I asked him to show me the games, but he only had 3 new games - I said this didn't account for 700 euros, but he said he just bought 'stuff' - I asked him what stuff, and he said cinema, food etc. I reminded him that he gets about 15 euros a day - this covers lunch and bus fares during school term - he is in school quite a distance from home.

I think really his parents are angry that he sold the items without telling them, then lied initially when they realised the items were missing, saying the hadn't sol them, and he just kind of squandered the money, when they were already giving htem money, and when they both work really hard. He also sold them at quite a loss - about 50% of their worth. His mother also child minds at home, and my nephew sold a large box of lego, which was originally his lego, but which, for the last several years, my sister has been using it for the children she minds.

shesty

I think Hannaho at this point, there has to stop being conversations about what he spent the money on and the conversation has to be about how it isn't acceptable to do this.

It doesn't matter that the items were "his".The point is that they were bought for him by somebody else.If he feels he needs to sell stuff then the least he can do is go talk to his parents FIRST about whether it is ok to sell items.I do not have teens but frankly I would be raging if my child did that.If he didn't fork out for them in the first place, then he doesn't get to make the decision about whether it's ok to sell them.There is a trust there that has been broken, firstly because he thinks it's ok to just pick and choose stuff to sell (what's to stop him starting to sell his parents stuff on the basis that "they don't use it much" or some such reason??)and secondly because he didn't tell them what he was doing with all that money.There is also a complete disregard for the value of things and the work that goes into being able to afford them.

To me the message has to be here that he has broken the trust with his parents and he has to earn it back.And if I were his parents I would be forking out for nothing extra for a good long time.Nothing.

To be honest, if that message drives home you will probably figure out fairly quickly whether he was using the money for something like drugs.

weldoninhio

Hannaho wrote: »

Hi! thanks for all the replies. I was involved in talking to him, precisely because he would talk to me more about stuff, or maybe listen more to what I have to say than his parents - that's just in recent years since he became a teenager.

Re the money. He denied drugs or gambling - still can't be sure though, but my son has roughly the same set of friends, as in their friends overlap, because they are of a similar age - and my son doesn't think my nephew is doing drugs/cannabis. I am personally very against cannabis use in adolescents, as I work in the addiction services, and have seen lots of teenagers developing psychosis from regular cannabis use, and also developing anxiety or just complete apathy. Re the gambling he just denies it. States that he bought games etc. I asked him to show me the games, but he only had 3 new games - I said this didn't account for 700 euros, but he said he just bought 'stuff' - I asked him what stuff, and he said cinema, food etc. I reminded him that he gets about 15 euros a day - this covers lunch and bus fares during school term - he is in school quite a distance from home.

I think really his parents are angry that he sold the items without telling them, then lied initially when they realised the items were missing, saying the hadn't sol them, and he just kind of squandered the money, when they were already giving htem money, and when they both work really hard. He also sold them at quite a loss - about 50% of their worth. His mother also child minds at home, and my nephew sold a large box of lego, which was originally his lego, but which, for the last several years, my sister has been using it for the children she minds.

Kid has you wrapped around his finger.

skallywag

If he sold lego which his mother was actively using as a child minder then he would be getting a firm clip across the ear if I was his parent.

For starters he would not be getting 15 Euro a day either any more, he would be getting a bus pass and sandwiches to take with him.

Nekarsulm

skallywag wrote: »

If he sold lego which his mother was actively using as a child minder then he would be getting a firm clip across the ear if I was his parent.

For starters he would not be getting 15 Euro a day either any more, he would be getting a bus pass and sandwiches to take with him.

I would agree with this in every way, and if he's 15 or 16, he's well able to make his own sandwiches or whatever lunch he wants to bring.

Dravokivich

skallywag wrote: »

If he sold lego which his mother was actively using as a child minder then he would be getting a firm clip across the ear if I was his parent.

For starters he would not be getting 15 Euro a day either any more, he would be getting a bus pass and sandwiches to take with him.

Mod

Please refrain from such commentary

rainbowtrout

Hannaho wrote: »

Hi! thanks for all the replies. I was involved in talking to him, precisely because he would talk to me more about stuff, or maybe listen more to what I have to say than his parents - that's just in recent years since he became a teenager.

Re the money. He denied drugs or gambling - still can't be sure though, but my son has roughly the same set of friends, as in their friends overlap, because they are of a similar age - and my son doesn't think my nephew is doing drugs/cannabis. I am personally very against cannabis use in adolescents, as I work in the addiction services, and have seen lots of teenagers developing psychosis from regular cannabis use, and also developing anxiety or just complete apathy. Re the gambling he just denies it. States that he bought games etc. I asked him to show me the games, but he only had 3 new games - I said this didn't account for 700 euros, but he said he just bought 'stuff' - I asked him what stuff, and he said cinema, food etc. I reminded him that he gets about 15 euros a day - this covers lunch and bus fares during school term - he is in school quite a distance from home.

I think really his parents are angry that he sold the items without telling them, then lied initially when they realised the items were missing, saying the hadn't sol them, and he just kind of squandered the money, when they were already giving htem money, and when they both work really hard. He also sold them at quite a loss - about 50% of their worth. His mother also child minds at home, and my nephew sold a large box of lego, which was originally his lego, but which, for the last several years, my sister has been using it for the children she minds.

You're fixated on the idea of him spending it on drugs or gambling. Thing is he's a teenager, he probably did spend it on a heap of crap he can't account for. 3 playstation games is the guts of €200 for starters.

He's running rings around you and his parents with his attitude towards stuff in his house. They need to cut his money supply pronto, the amount of money he gets from them daily is ridiculous. Get him a bus pass/leap card. That's his bus accounted for and the money can't be spent on anything else. Then start him with a packed lunch everyday. No money necessary. He might starting learning the value of money when he actually has to earn some.

Then he should work to pay back the money he got by selling all those items/replace the lego.

Cabaal

Have to agree with the above.
15e a day is insane, he'll never learn the value of money getting that.