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Need desperate advice

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  • 13-07-2019 12:30pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Hi
    Totally going unreg for this but would welcome any advice as I honestly don’t know what to do and also if anyone has been in this situation, I’d really welcome some feedback.
    I’m working in a public service job for 12 years.
    I got a new boss 3 years ago and from day 5 maybe, he has inundated me with text messages not related to work (I’m his PA). They started as jokey, but always after my finish at 5pm so they’d take up most of my evenings.
    He was so good to me otherways, time off no questions asked, always so laid back and relaxed about time keeping. I never used it badly but I’ve small kids so he was always so good about Dr. appointments and school stuff.
    I really thought we had a great working relationship. Bar the texting, they freaked me out. I showed my husband and he though they were so weird also but we felt if I ignored them, he would be difficult. Which I found out later he would be if I didn’t reply.
    Everyone in work kept saying he fancied me which was so uncomfortable for me.
    I asked him on 3 occasions to stop texting me as I was happily married and both me and my husband were uncomfortable with them. He would stop for a while.
    One day out of the blue, he was going on about how “good” he was to me and he was sitting beside me at my desk. He said you owe me a kiss and I nervously laughed it off.
    He then pulled my face towards his and kissed me so quickly on the lips then literally ran away!
    I was so shocked, and really upset.
    He is notorious for womanizing and I feel because I replied to him “jokingly” every time, that I somehow led him on.
    I told my husband, he could see how upset I was. I took a month off work on stress leave. I told HR and they were pushing me to do all sorts of things which really freaked me out and brought on extreme anxiety. I don’t want to go to court or deal with anything extreme like that.
    I decided to confront him myself before returning to work and we had a really nice chat and agreed to put it behind us. All was good for a while.
    BUT, he has since found out I spoke with HR and is now making my life heel in work. Being an absolute contrary and snappy person. Asking me every few minutes what I’m doing!!
    Please tell me what I should do 😢


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