Drinking wife

TheBoyConor

decky1 wrote: »

'Put her out of the house' jesus if it was only that easy.:rolleyes:

They don't have any children. thank god. So in that case it really is as there aren't kids to be looked after or collected from school or whatever. It amounts to telling her not to return and changing the locks.

A 30 year old fella with no kids or committments should have no problem offloading dead beat girlfriend.
It is different if they are middle aged with kids in school or whatever.

OP, see a solicitor without delay with a view to have the marriage annulled. This needs to be jumped on quickly as there is a limited window of opportunity. If you can get an annullment you basically get out relatively unscathed and avoid the whole clusterfúck of separation and divorce not to mention avoiding the need to pay her spousal maintenance that she will literally piss away every single cent of.

Tell me how

juneg wrote: »

People don't suddenly become alcoholic in their thirties with no underlying cause. I would have my daughter out of there faster than my son for your information.

Really? If your daughter was the alcoholic? You'd advocate your her husband walked away?

juneg

juneg wrote: »

I understand what he meant and I meant that I would support my daughter in her time of need and if she needed to come home out of a broken marraige to rebuild her life then I would support her.

That makes no sense.

You want him to kick her out so she hits rock bottom. Yet if that was your daughter you would welcome her back in and support her?

Why wouldn't you advocate that her husband gives her the support you would offer?

Kurtosis

Mod note

This thread has gone way of course.

TheBoyConor - do not post in this thread again.

To all other posters, please no commenting on previous posters' advice. Posts should relate to the original posters query.

Wannabe6610, this thread may be better suited to the Personal Issues forum. Please let me or one of the other mods know if you would like it moved over there.

juneg

[Deleted User] wrote: »

That makes no sense.

You want him to kick her out so she hits rock bottom. Yet if that was your daughter you would welcome her back in and support her?

Why wouldn't you advocate that her husband gives her the support you would offer?

You must have me mixed up with some other poster. At no point in my two posts in this thread did I say anything about kicking anyone out of anyplace. That is how people end up homeless.

bingbong500

TheBoyConor wrote: »

Sure there are plenty of womens refuges, homeless services she can present to. Council homeless service will put her in a bnb or hotel anyway.

If she is not working she is not contributing to the mortgage.
If she is drunk in the house she is a danger to op - she could set the house on fire or flood it or something.
And why should OP be forced to live with someone as bad as this.

There are not. Womens refuges are for women escaping domestic violence, not for drunk women illegally barred from their own homes by their co owners/renters. Ditto homeless services: she is not homeless. She has a home, and OP has no right at all to keep her from it.
His choice is to leave if he wants to, not to kick her out. Doesn't work like that.

juneg

juneg wrote:

You must have me mixed up with some other poster. At no point in my two posts in this thread did I say anything about kicking anyone out of anyplace. That is how people end up homeless.

Apologies. I mixed you up. Sorry about that

noubliezjamais

One of my friends in the States died from a drug overdose. He came from pretty strict immigrant parents and when he went to college on his own, he went "loose" and started taking alcohol, benzos, ecstasy , painkillers etc... The college recommended he go to a drug programme but when his parents heard, they disowned him and forbade him from going back.

He eventually lost his job, lost his college course, ended up homeless and not surprisingly, died.

unkel

noubliezjamais wrote: »

One of my friends in the States died from a drug overdose. He came from pretty strict immigrant parents and when he went to college on his own, he went "loose" and started taking alcohol, benzos, ecstasy , painkillers etc... The college recommended he go to a drug programme but when his parents heard, they disowned him and forbade him from going back.

He eventually lost his job, lost his college course, ended up homeless and not surprisingly, died.

Very sorry for your loss. Lad I knew also died from an overdose in the States. Many people over there seem holier than us. They criticise us drinking, smoking and using a joint all legally while in their own back yard people are overdosing and dying from far more serious drugs. We will never forget.

Graces7

Seth Brundle wrote: »

Rehab is no use to someone if they don't really want to overcome the illness.

I know but the OP will find great expertise by calling or visiting Whiteoaks as they have huge experience.

trihead

A friend of a friend got into the detox programme at https://cuanmhuire.ie in Athy - they have other venues around. The person has to accept they have a problem though first - which can be the hardest part. Cuan Mhuire did offer some advice on this so might be worth contacting.