Partner Issues at Work

LegacyUser

My partner works for a large multi-national and last October he had some mental health problems and was off sick for a few weeks. He returned to work and has been doing well since, but over the last couple of days, his manager has sent him to the company doctor TWICE. Apparently, some comments were made about his behaviour at work, and the manager wanted to make sure he was OK. The complaints related to my partner keeping to himself at lunchtime, and a tendency to walk away from conversations – not work-related ones – just social, shooting the breeze type chats. It’s a very silly way to act, but his mental illness is a form of anxiety, and he sometimes struggles with social interactions.

So my partner went to the company doctor yesterday who said you seem to be fine and sent him back to work. His manager, for some reason, decided to ask for a second opinion and is making my partner return to the doctor again at 10 am tomorrow.

To be fair, I only have my partner’s side of the story, so I can’t be sure what happened, but I am slightly incredulous that a manager would refuse to believe the doctor’s opinion. The manager is new to the job, so I am not sure if he is just overreacting. My partner believes there is one other guy in the department that has it in for him and that he might be pushing the manager to do this. But again, I don’t know!

Has anyone got any idea what could be happening here? I just can’t get my head around the manager asking for a second opinion – I find that odd.

When it comes to mental health you can never be too careful. Especially at large companies, people can fall between the cracks. Not to mention the fact that a mental health issue is going to be more difficult to diagnose and monitor than a more visible issue. Going that step further and asking for a second opinion shows that the manager wants to make sure he's okay, that's all.

I'm sure it feels intrusive and almost punishment-like from your partner's viewpoint, as I'm sure he probably just wants to get on with things. But getting sent to the doctor doesn't have a negative effect on your partner's employment. The only possible reason for the second opinion is that the manager wanted more comfort that your partner is doing okay.

rock22

Sending your partner back to the same doctor is not getting a second opinion - it is simply telling the doctor that his opinion is wrong and giving him a chance to change it.
You partner should have a talk with the doctor telling him he is unhappy with his manager second guessing medical matters.

true-or-false

true-or-false wrote: »

When it comes to mental health you can never be too careful. Especially at large companies, people can fall between the cracks. Not to mention the fact that a mental health issue is going to be more difficult to diagnose and monitor than a more visible issue. Going that step further and asking for a second opinion shows that the manager wants to make sure he's okay, that's all.

I'm sure it feels intrusive and almost punishment-like from your partner's viewpoint, as I'm sure he probably just wants to get on with things. But getting sent to the doctor doesn't have a negative effect on your partner's employment. The only possible reason for the second opinion is that the manager wanted more comfort that your partner is doing okay.

Getting sent straight back to the SAME doctor ONE day after first visit is not getting a second opinion ! It’s the same opinion but sounds like the Manager wants it revised ?
I’d be very put out by this! OP’s partner is actually at work and working, so what is this Manager doing by trying to 2nd guess medical opinion ? I often walk away from “shooting the breeze” conversations at work , especially if I’m busy

strandroad

Advicere:CompanyDoctor wrote: »

So my partner went to the company doctor yesterday who said you seem to be fine and sent him back to work. His manager, for some reason, decided to ask for a second opinion and is making my partner return to the doctor again at 10 am tomorrow.

Second opinion usually means another professional, not the same one. Is it the same doctor? I know that you don't have the whole picture, but is it possible that your partner's behaviour is really concerning? It would be very unusual to ask for second opinion unless someone is deemed to be a risk to themselves or others, or their duties.
There is a chance that the manager is on a power trip, but what kind of advantage would sending your partner back give them if his behaviour is not out of the ordinary? They would just get the same opinion again.

AulWan

There is nothing wrong with wanting to keep to yourself at lunchtime or not getting overly involved in "shooting the breeze" conversations while you're at work, once you're partner is not being rude.

It's a workplace, not a social club. Sounds to me like the manager is being a dick.

the_pen_turner

greaat to see managers taking notice of this kind of thing. it can only be a good thing.

what is your partners side of this. why does he keep to himself and walk away from conversations etc.

nothing wrong with keeping to yourself if its for the right reasons . we all need our space.
nothing wrong with walking away from someone that is talking rubbish or talking at you . some people just dont want to hear about love island or last nights soccer match or you horrible kids etc. walking away might be thhe least rude thing he could do.

LegacyUser

OP here, since last week things became a bit clearer. Over the weekend I began to see what the manager was talking about and my partner was acting quite strangely so we ended up in A&E on Saturday night - he isn't supposed to drink but he apparently had been drinking secretly. So it looks like the manager spotted something the rest of us didn't see. He's doing OK now, but will be off for a few weeks. Thanks for the advice.

zoobizoo

I've a slightly different take on this, as someone who has dealt with someone with Mental Health issues.

The manager might just be super sensitive/over cautious - it happens. It could be a specific word that the person with Mental Health issues uses or a specific behaviour that triggers in me the "he maybe having an episode" feeling.


There is nothing wrong with wakling away from a social conversation as long as you're doing it in a "yeah, yeah, oh yeah.... right, I gotta get back to work now" type of way and not just walk away from a chat without going through the motions.


Maybe garner from the manager the exact reason why he wants him to return to the doctor.

Diziet

If we assume positive intent, it may be that the manager noticed a change in behaviour that alarmed him/her and is concerned enough to ask your partner to go back.

Nobody is required to make social small talk at work, but a change in behaviour may be a flag for something not going well.

I hope your partner continues to recover, best wishes.

Augme

Tricky one really. As it is difficult to say without knowing more detail about exactly how your partner is behaving in work.

The main thing is, how does your partner feel about it? You've detailed how you aren't happy but ultimately it doesn't concern you.

If your partner isn't too put out I'd advise him not to rock then boat too much.