Suspended sentence for sexual assault of four cousins

Dravokivich

splinter65 wrote: »

Sorry for being sexist. As ever on boards being PC is by far the most important thing.

The issue you're pushing isnt being countered by political correctness. It's the arrogance you are showing which is being argued. But sure lump it under "PC" becuase there's so many willing to disagree with your nonsense.

fineso.mom

splinter65 wrote: »

You go ahead and leave your little kids to be babysat by their 14 year old cousin. Their your kids after all. I’m just giving you my standard, which was always pretty high.
14 year olds of either sex aren’t suitable babysitters, but it’s up to you.

But you said 14yr old or 'any other male relative'. The vast vast majority of male relatives wouldn't dream of hurting a child.

splinter65

Plumbthedepths wrote: »

Feel free to report my comment, but your op is disgusting and seeks to portray every male as a potential pederast. I stand by how I described yours and your fellow travellers comments.

So you don’t agree that it’s a good idea to make sure that every single child knows for 100% sure that no one has permission to touch them in a way that makes them feel sad or scared?
Because that is the core of my post.
It’s interesting that you don’t agree with that.

meeeeh

splinter65 wrote: »

50 years ago incest wasn’t mentioned above a very private whisper and mostly raised eyebrows and winks and nudges. Now we all know (or at least we should know) that we don’t put our children in the way of possible danger.
Your child needs to know from very small without question or hesitation that their little body is very very precious and nobody NOBODY should touch them in anyway that makes them feel sad or scared.
That it doesn’t matter what ANYONE says to them that if they feel sad or scared by someone it doesn’t matter who it is they must immediately find mammy and tell her and she will make it better.
As a parent it is your duty to know where your child is who they are with and what they are doing. This is not very hard. It just requires your child to be your absolutely no 1 priority all of the time relentlessly.
14 year old male cousins if behaving completely naturally do not want nor should not want to mind younger female cousins.
Nor should they be asked.
If the 14 year old male cousin or any other male relative is the only babysitter you can find then don’t bother going out.
Use the information we have now wisely.

Thanks for the parenting tips... I'm not sure I asked for them or have any idea what you are on about but thanks anyway.

eviltwin

splinter65 wrote: »

So you don’t agree that it’s a good idea to make sure that every single child knows for 100% sure that no one has permission to touch them in a way that makes them feel sad or scared?
Because that is the core of my post.
It’s interesting that you don’t agree with that.

The core of your posts is that young men are not safe around children and aren't to be trusted. Don't try and backtrack now. It's quite obvious how you view men in relation to children.

Dravokivich

splinter65 wrote: »

So you don’t agree that it’s a good idea to make sure that every single child knows for 100% sure that no one has permission to touch them in a way that makes them feel sad or scared?
Because that is the core of my post.
It’s interesting that you don’t agree with that.

Your post is very heavily slanted that kids are only safe with women. Whatever the pretence that you suggest kids should be aware of what is safe. The womens statements referenced in the article said they were aware the abuse was improper when it happened. I've never read a victim's statement that suggested otherwise.

splinter65

fineso.mom wrote: »

But you said 14yr old or 'any other male relative'. The vast vast majority of male relatives wouldn't dream of hurting a child.

Of course I know that. As a parent it is your job to try if at all possible to avoid situations where there is the potential for your child to be in danger.
If that means that you can only leave your kids with a very select few adults then so be it. If one of those select adults aren’t available then you can’t leave them.
If you have to be the bad guy and refuse sleepovers right up to age 15/16 then that’s what you have to do.

Plumbthedepths

splinter65 wrote:

If the 14 year old male cousin or any other male relative is the only babysitter you can find then don’t bother going out. Use the information we have now wisely.

The above in my view is disgusting but thankfully individuals like you and with a warped mindset like yours are in the minority.
Noone has an issue with a child of any age or gender being told their body is sacrosanct and no one has a right to touch it without the child's permission.
The majority of your post is misandry, now by all means report me but you and you cohorts in my view are disgusting pathetic individuals whom I am happy to say I only encounter in arenas such as this.

meeeeh

splinter65 wrote: »

So you don’t agree that it’s a good idea to make sure that every single child knows for 100% sure that no one has permission to touch them in a way that makes them feel sad or scared?
Because that is the core of my post.
It’s interesting that you don’t agree with that.

I think you are intentionally provoking to derail discussion about sentencing to some other unrelated toppic. Why are you so eager to change the subject of the thread?

ldy4mxonucwsq6

splinter65 wrote: »

You go ahead and leave your little kids to be babysat by their 14 year old cousin. Their your kids after all. I’m just giving you my standard, which was always pretty high.
14 year olds of either sex aren’t suitable babysitters, but it’s up to you.

I can't see it in the OP article where does it say he was babysitting??

splinter65

Plumbthedepths wrote: »

The above in my view is disgusting but thankfully individuals like you and with a warped mindset like yours are in the minority.
Noone has an issue with a child of any age or gender being told their body is sacrosanct and no one has a right to touch it without the child's permission.
The majority of your post is misandry, now by all means report me but you and you cohorts in my view are disgusting pathetic individuals whom I am happy to say I only encounter in arenas such as this.

No you described my post as disgusting. Now that I’m asking you to point out what parts of the post offend you you’re backpedalling and making a General observation of misandry while failing to point out any specific examples.

Peatys

Mrs OBumble wrote: »

Actually it would.

A male who is unable to get his needs met by same-age peers is likely to look for sexual action with younger more vulnerable children.

Jesus fúcking christ

Peatys

splinter65 wrote: »

You go ahead and leave your little kids to be babysat by their 14 year old cousin. Their your kids after all. I’m just giving you my standard, which was always pretty high.
14 year olds of either sex aren’t suitable babysitters, but it’s up to you.

Nice reversal.

Plumbthedepths

splinter65 wrote:

No you described my post as disgusting. Now that I’m asking you to point out what parts of the post offend you you’re backpedalling and making a General observation of misandry while failing to point out any specific examples.

I have dealt with your disgusting post and will do so no further. No back pedalling at all I stand by my description of your comments and those of your cohorts.

Peatys

Plumbthedepths wrote: »

I have dealt with your disgusting post and will do so no further. No back pedalling at all I stand by my description of your comments and those of your cohorts.

The only backpedaling is found from "14yr old cousin or any male relative", to "14yr old cousin of either sex".

If it wasn't quoted, it would have been edited by now

Boggles

splinter65 wrote: »

I’m just giving you my standard

That all males in your family are potential rapists.

I feel sorry for your family.

splinter65

Plumbthedepths wrote: »

I have dealt with your disgusting post and will do so no further. No back pedalling at all I stand by my description of your comments and those of your cohorts.

And I stand by my comment that your post is pathetic. If you don’t need to make an argument to support your position then neither do I. Good night.

splinter65

Boggles wrote: »

That all males in your family are potential rapists.

I feel sorry for your family.

My standard is that I never left my daughter with anyone other then my mother or her father. So shoot me.

splinter65

Peatys wrote: »

The only backpedaling is found from "14yr old cousin or any male relative", to "14yr old cousin of either sex".

If it wasn't quoted, it would have been edited by now

Your accusing me of editing my post to correct it?

Boggles

splinter65 wrote: »

My standard is that I never left my daughter with anyone other then my mother or her father. So shoot me.

Hopefully your daughter is lucid enough to learn outside the home and not be warped by her mother's startling ignorance.

Peatys

splinter65 wrote: »

Your accusing me of editing my post to correct it?

Where did i say that?

Peatys

splinter65 wrote: »

My standard is that I never left my daughter with anyone other then my mother or her father. So shoot me.

But how long have you known her father? All rapists and peados are someone's relative. What makes him so special?

splinter65

A lot of people here who apparently have a rather casual approach to babysitting and supervision of children and are in some denial now as a result of the emerging reality of the sheer volume of children who were abused by family members while their parents were elsewhere.
There are no paedophiles in our immediate family as far as I know.
I moved heaven and earth and we made huge sacrifices as a family so that I could care for my own child myself. I’m not the only one who has done this.
My instinct was and remains that children need to be looked after by their parents and that parents need to know where their children are and who they are with at all times.
It beggars belief to me that anyone would leave small girls with a 14 year old male cousin with special needs.
The carelessness is unbelievable to me especially with what we know now.

splinter65

Peatys wrote: »

But how long have you known her father? All rapists and peados are someone's relative. What makes him so special?

How long have I known my husband? 30 years. Why?

Peatys

splinter65 wrote: »

How long have I known my husband? 30 years. Why?

You're quick enough to say that posters shouldn't go out of they can only find a make relative to babysit.

Just pointing out your hypocrisy

splinter65

Boggles wrote: »

Hopefully your daughter is lucid enough to learn outside the home and not be warped by her mother's startling ignorance.

My daughter is 22 and living and working independently of us in another city. She has a wonderful life with a huge circle of friends.
She’s very happy and secure in herself mostly because she has known all her life how cherished she is and she has a very high regard for her own personal space.
It’s well worth making the sacrifices to have a well adjusted adult in the end.
You’re running out of insults now. “Ignorant” LoL !

splinter65

Peatys wrote: »

You're quick enough to say that posters shouldn't go out of they can only find a make relative to babysit.

Just pointing out your hypocrisy

You’re not giving any examples of my supposed hypocrisy in this post though.

ldy4mxonucwsq6

splinter65 wrote: »

A lot of people here who apparently have a rather casual approach to babysitting and supervision of children and are in some denial now as a result of the emerging reality of the sheer volume of children who were abused by family members while their parents were elsewhere.
There are no paedophiles in our immediate family as far as I know.
I moved heaven and earth and we made huge sacrifices as a family so that I could care for my own child myself. I’m not the only one who has done this.
My instinct was and remains that children need to be looked after by their parents and that parents need to know where their children are and who they are with at all times.
It beggars belief to me that anyone would leave small girls with a 14 year old male cousin with special needs.
The carelessness is unbelievable to me especially with what we know now.

Thankfully, I'd like to think that most children are well informed about these things nowadays from a young age by their parents and through the school stay safe programmes.

Realistically speaking though if you were visiting TRUSTED friends or relatives, or vice versa would you follow your child around not letting them out of your sight for a second?

Open to correction but I don't see any indication in the article to say that the guy in this case was left in charge of or babysitting his cousins when this happened. You are assuming this is what happened.

We don't have all of the information, I really don't think it's very fair to lay blame on the parents who I am sure have been heartbroken by this.

Awful case and I wish these girls and their families strength and courage.

ldy4mxonucwsq6

splinter65 wrote: »

My standard is that I never left my daughter with anyone other then my mother or her father. So shoot me.

Of course you did leave her with others, surely she attended school and maybe played sports or had hobbies? What about playdates with friends growing up?

Peatys

splinter65 wrote: »

You’re not giving any examples of my supposed hypocrisy in this post though.

Is English your first language?

splinter65

Peatys wrote: »

Is English your first language?

You can’t show me an example of hypocrisy but instead of just leaving it well enough alone you head off down a blind alley.
Well... no, English is not my first language.
My grasp of English is tragically deficient.
I suffer from a severe exiguity of perspicacity in the field of spoken English.
So maybe it would be indicative of great kindness on your behalf if you spelt out in bullet points the hypocrisy that so offends you.

Mrs OBumble

Mrs OBumble wrote: »

Actually it would.

A male who is unable to get his needs met by same-age peers is likely to look for sexual action with younger more vulnerable children.

Did you find any credible research to support this ridiculous claim yet? I mean actual data driven research, not Graces idea of research which seems to be ‘I read it from various sources on the internet’, or are you prepared to acknowledge your claim is pure tripe?

Your post is bang out of order O’Bumbles, but your silence now when challenged to defend what you said isn’t helping cast you in a good light either. It’s rotten stuff to write about boys. Rotten altogether.

Thelonious Monk

So when I was 14/15 I would babysit parent's friends/neighbours kids who may have been 7 or 8 while they went to the pub for a few hours. I had the same thing when I was young, neighbours would babysit me sometimes, male and female.
Most people don't molest children, and I don't want to live in a world where I have to worry about this kind of thing. I can't believe what I'm reading here.

Plumbthedepths

JayZeus wrote:

Your post is bang out of order O’Bumbles, but your silence now when challenged to defend what you said isn’t helping cast you in a good light either. It’s rotten stuff to write about boys. Rotten altogether.

It's not just O'Bumble or Graces 7 posting disgusting commentary about boys, Splinter has made a more concerted effort. Particularly vile stuff tbh.

splinter65

Plumbthedepths wrote: »

It's not just O'Bumble or Graces 7 posting disgusting commentary about boys, Splinter has made a more concerted effort. Particularly vile stuff tbh.

If you can’t point to anything specific in my posts that’s “vile” then I feel totally free to say that your posts in this thread directed at me are just baseless nonsense, the ravings of a nincompoop.

eagle eye

I just read all of this thread and for the most part I'm in agreement with splinter.

Dtp1979

splinter65 wrote: »

If you can’t point to anything specific in my posts that’s “vile” then I feel totally free to say that your posts in this thread directed at me are just baseless nonsense, the ravings of a nincompoop.

“14 year old male cousins if behaving completely naturally do not want nor should not want to mind younger female cousins.
Nor should they be asked.
If the 14 year old male cousin or any other male relative is the only babysitter you can find then don’t bother going out.
Use the information we have now wisely.“



I don’t know about vile, but that’s pretty fcuking ignorant

Plumbthedepths

splinter65 wrote:

If you can’t point to anything specific in my posts that’s “vile†then I feel totally free to say that your posts in this thread directed at me are just baseless nonsense, the ravings of a nincompoop.

I could care less as to what you think of any comment I have directed to your posts, other than what you have said is the vile misandry of an ignoramus.

Plumbthedepths

eagle eye wrote:

I just read all of this thread and for the most part I'm in agreement with splinter.

Can't say I'm surprised.

Peatys

splinter65 wrote: »

You can’t show me an example of hypocrisy but instead of just leaving it well enough alone you head off down a blind alley.
Well... no, English is not my first language.
My grasp of English is tragically deficient.
I suffer from a severe exiguity of perspicacity in the field of spoken English.
So maybe it would be indicative of great kindness on your behalf if you spelt out in bullet points the hypocrisy that so offends you.

I'll be at the laptop later, bullet points won't be necessary.

Boggles

splinter65 wrote: »

She’s very happy and secure in herself mostly because she has known all her life how cherished she is and she has a very high regard for her own personal space.

Good.

Still does not make it any less fúcked up raising a child with the knowledge that her cousins or uncles could rape her if they got half a chance.

Mrs OBumble

mike_ie wrote: »

Mod: I'd really like to see a source for that before you continue that line of discussion.

Here's a general resource about sexual abuse by children: https://www.stopitnow.org/sites/default/files/documents/files/do_children_sexually_abuse_other_children_0.pdf

I'm having difficulty tracking down more links: I know I've seen them in a specialist library in a previous job. But either my Google-fu is slipping or (more likely) they're not published to the general public to avoid alarming parents.

But in general:

Every teenager has developing sexual desires.

Ones with average intelligence can easily enough be educated to respect other people and to find ways to explore their developing desires either by themselves or with similar-age peers.

But ones with lower intelligence or learning difficulties will be more difficult to educate. Teens with poor communication skills and social anxieties will find it harder to express their needs, and are likely to not have a peer group to explore with. They often feel safer playing with younger children who are more accepting. Where this comes unstuck is that teenage sexual desires are very different to those of the younger children - and it can lead to totally, tragically, age-inappropriate behaviours, as in this case.

Parents and teachers have a responsibility to ensure that that both young children and also developmentally-delayed reason teens are protected. Depending on the family situation, this can mean bedroom-visit bans, 100% adult supervised play, adult chaperoning of the teenager, etc - there's no one rule about what will work.

Mrs OBumble

Dtp1979 wrote: »

“14 year old male cousins if behaving completely naturally do not want nor should not want to mind younger female cousins.
Nor should they be asked.
If the 14 year old male cousin or any other male relative is the only babysitter you can find then don’t bother going out.
Use the information we have now wisely.“



I don’t know about vile, but that’s pretty fcuking ignorant

Do you know many 14 year old boys? Do any of them volunteer for baby-sitting jobs?

eagle eye

What I'd love to have is information on the average age of parents of victims. I notice younger parents are very eager to hand off kids to other people while older parents spend very little time away from their children.

splinter65

Plumbthedepths wrote: »

I could care less as to what you think of any comment I have directed to your posts, other than what you have said is the vile misandry of an ignoramus.

You couldn’t care any less then me . You keep replying with the same rubbish over and over. I’ve no idea why.

splinter65

eagle eye wrote: »

What I'd love to have is information on the average age of parents of victims. I notice younger parents are very eager to hand off kids to other people while older parents spend very little time away from their children.

I was 32 when my only child was born. I’d already had a great social life and plenty of leisure time for 14 years, say, since I left school.
So I was well ready to mind my own child myself and not bother with babysitters or anything like that.
I see very young parents who are going it alone spending a lot of time trying to find someone to leave their kids with because they quite naturally want to go out with all their friends.
Some are determined that they’re not going to miss out on anything despite having become a parent.

I see small kids being brought to house parties when they should be tucked up in bed.
It’s not wickedness it’s just extreme immaturity and for a lot of them now it’s the way they were reared themselves so it’s second nature.

Dtp1979

Mrs OBumble wrote: »

Do you know many 14 year old boys? Do any of them volunteer for baby-sitting jobs?

Yes, plenty do. Usually for relatives more often than not. I did it myself when I was younger. I knew plenty of guys too that did it back in the day. And I know a few these days too.

meeeeh

Did Iona Institute Family Planning Committee take over this thread?

Anyway there are a lot of generalizations and nonsense written without any foundation and especially without any information. I must admit though I find it entertaining how posters who think every man with tanned skin is a potential rapist suddenly get outraged when tanned skin s left out. I guess generalizations aren't pleasant when they affect you. They are always stupid though.

splinter65

meeeeh wrote: »

Did Iona Institute Family Planning Committee take over this thread?

Anyway there are a lot of generalizations and nonsense written without any foundation and especially without any information. I must admit though I find it entertaining how posters who think every man with tanned skin is a potential rapist suddenly get outraged when tanned skin s left out. I guess generalizations aren't pleasant when they affect you. They are always stupid though.

? Iona Family Planning Unit? What’s that got to do with 14 year old boys sexually abusing small girls? If it’s an attempt to deflect the attention away from the fact that over 90% of child sex abuse victims are abused by family members and not “outsiders” then you really should be ashamed of yourself.

eagle eye

Meeah I think you posted in the wrong thread.