Sex and the City author "Truly alone"

kikilarue2

Autumn August wrote: »

kikilarue2 wrote: »

You’ve made a whole series of generalizations about women above... one example being that we don’t realize how quickly our attractiveness diminishes.

Some generalisations are appropriate and some aren't.

It is a correct generalisation to say that people who have an unhealthy diet are more likely to die of heart disease.

Likewise I believe it is correct to say that some women don't realise how fast their attractiveness can diminish. Fairly sure I didn't say all women.

Do you think relationships are based purely on physical attraction? It’s such an immature point of view.

Know who’s attractiveness diminishes over time? Absolutely everyone.

Any relationship based purely or primarily on this is doomed to failure anyway.

Many people become more attractive over time in a much broader sense - they’re more mature, more worldly, their edges have softened over time, they have a stronger sense of self, they’re more compassionate...

This attempt to make women feel panicked about their biological clocks is just a way to try and control us.

We weren’t born to be brood mares.

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts

Harvey Weinstein wrote: »

First of all there's no need for the aggressive tone.

Secondly, you're right, there is an epidemic of men stuck in perpetual adolescence. One of the reasons for this is the fact that in previous generations most people settled down in their 20's and there was a paucity of available Women for a man looking to settle down. Whereas now there's and endless supply of available Women for men on the make. The Tinder age ultimately benefits men, because most men prefer younger Women, thats the reality.
Tinder statistics show that the prime years for a Woman (on Tinder) are her early 20's but with men its much much later.
A Woman at say 37 years of age is not an attractive prospect for a man looking to have a family, when he has the option of younger Women at his fingertips.
A man looks at a 37 year old Woman and thinks, we have to hit it off, then go out for a few years, then live together, then talk about getting married and having kids, you get the picture. By the time they might be trying for kids the Woman might be in her 40's. Why do that when you can meet a 30 year old.

This is where the likes of sex and the city comes in, which in a way encourages Women to waste away their prime years partying, careers, travelling, whatever. Then they end up in their late 30's and find that the men their own age don't want them.

As another poster says..Women have been sold a pup.

And it goes without saying every man knows plenty of good men who have been passed over by Women because they didn't cut the mustard, it works both ways.

SATC acknowledged all this and had episodes and storylines on the topic. I don’t believe you watched the show like you say you did because if you did, you would know that.

metaoblivia wrote: »

But as several posters have pointed out, that's not actually how a lot of women who end up single in their 30s and beyond spend their 20s. I did not spend my 20s partying, traveling or focused on my career and neither did any of the women I know. I do know many women who were in long term relationships during their 20s that fell apart in their early 30s and found themselves single. That's much more common in my experience than the picture you're painting.

Yes, that’s usually what happens!

Harvey Weinstein

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts wrote: »

That might be the case but I don’t think anyone should settle. I can safely say I’d much prefer to be alone than in a passionless union of convenience. Many people choose the latter.

When you have kids though all that goes out the window, the passion for each other (which obviously is still there) changes into a passion for the family you have created. The whole idea of 'the one' becomes kind of meaningless when there are others in the equation. Its a completely different dynamic.

SusieBlue

Autumn August wrote: »

Did anyone actually blame women? Or is it just a conversation discussing the cause and effect and consequences of choices?

A conversation only criticizing women and perusing all the various ways we f*ck up and are to blame for our own misfortunes, with absolutely no responsibility or blame given to men.

Of course, the right answer is that it’s a myriad of issues with both genders and society that are causing these situations, but so far the usual stereotypes of ‘she was too busy focusing on her career’ are being trotted out over and over.
It’s getting really old and tedious.

Assetbacked

lbc2019 wrote: »

Daily Mail pushes its 'traditional' agenda shocker

Encouraging and supporting families is extremely important in our society. Otherwise we would die out.

As for the author of SATC feeling lonely at 60 without kids and a husband, that would be the same for the majority of women as most women do want families. I think SATC was appropriate for its time but has not really aged well. The big reason for this is the entirely unrealistic portrayal of life for normal women in their 30s who do not have financial independence like the SATC girls. To support Charlotte and Sam's lives, they need men in real life.

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts

Harvey Weinstein wrote: »

When you have kids though all that goes out the window, the passion for each other (which obviously is still there) changes into a passion for the family you have created. The whole idea of 'the one' becomes kind of meaningless when there are others in the equation. Its a completely different dynamic.

I don’t really know what you mean by this, to be honest.

Assetbacked

SusieBlue wrote: »

A conversation only criticizing women and perusing all the various ways we f*ck up and are to blame for our own misfortunes, with absolutely no responsibility or blame given to men.

Of course, the right answer is that it’s a myriad of issues with both genders and society that are causing these situations, but so far the usual stereotypes of ‘she was too busy focusing on her career’ are being trotted out over and over.
It’s getting really old and tedious.

That is a stereotypical female argument of trying to blame men for their problems. It's quite old and tedious.

eviltwin

Harvey Weinstein wrote: »

The former Manchester Untied manager Alex Ferguson used to say that he wanted his players to get married and have kids at a young age as it kept them grounded and enforced responsibility and maturity on them, I think he was right in a lot of respects.

Yeah footballers are great examples of domestic bliss aren't they :rolleyes:

I settled down very young and thankfully we are still together. But we are the exception, most of the couples who hooked up at the same time are split leaving a trail of misery in their wake. My husbands best mate realised at 35 he didn't love his wife any more, now he's living in a small flat he can barely afford with kids he sees on set days

Living the dream.

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts

Autumn August wrote: »

There are plenty of women who don't look for "husband material" until it's too late, they spend their youth and attractiveness banging men who aren't husband material. And of course there's nothing wrong with that at all, as a man who doesn't regard himself as "husband material" I'm very thankful for such women But some of these women don't realise how fast their attractiveness to men can diminish, and with it their options to choose a husband. So they might have to marry a man who they don't even fancy or just forget about it.

Ah okay, see what we’re dealing with here. Thanks for the bolded tell.

SusieBlue

Assetbacked wrote: »

That is a stereotypical female argument of trying to blame men for their problems. It's quite old and tedious.

Please quote where I blamed all men for my problems, unless you’re having trouble with reading comprehension?
Just to reiterate I said it’s an issue caused by both genders and the way society in general is.

kikilarue2

Autumn August wrote: »

kikilarue2 wrote: »

Do you think relationships are based purely on physical attraction? It’s such an immature point of view.

Know who’s attractiveness diminishes over time? Absolutely everyone.

Any relationship based purely or primarily on this is doomed to failure anyway.

Many people become more attractive over time in a much broader sense - they’re more mature, more worldly, their edges have softened over time, they have a stronger sense of self, they’re more compassionate...

This attempt to make women feel panicked about their biological clocks is just a way to try and control us.

We weren’t born to be brood mares.

I'm not trying to panick or control anyone, I don't care what a stranger does with their life.

I don't see how it's immature to point out a fsct that women have fewer options to choose men when they hit their 30's.

*everyone* has fewer options in their 30s, men and women. It’s not like there’s a disproportionately high number of single women compared to men.

I get that men have this fantasy where they decide to settle down at 39 and meet a hot 21 yo that’s mad for them, but a fantasy is all that is.

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts

Deleted User wrote: »

Ah, the reality is that a lot of women don't age well.. like, some of them hitting 40 you'd say might have been attractive 10 years ago, but it's faded..

Certain women age well..a lot don't..

As wedded as many menfolk are to the idea of men aging like wine, for many, that isn’t the case.

Assetbacked

SusieBlue wrote: »

Please quote where I blamed all men for my problems, unless you’re having trouble with reading comprehension?
Just to reiterate I said it’s an issue caused by both genders and the way society in general is.

Women making their own choices and ending up feeling sad they missed the boat as a result of those choices is the fault of both genders and society? Definitely not.

eviltwin

kikilarue2 wrote: »

*everyone* has fewer options in their 30s, men and women. It’s not like there’s a disproportionately high number of single women compared to men.

I get that men have this fantasy where they decide to settle down at 39 and meet a hot 21 yo that’s mad for them, but a fantasy is all that is.

Yeah those 20 something girls go wild for bald heads and beer bellies

Harvey Weinstein

DubInMeath wrote: »

Didn't really work out did it.

Well the principle was sound at least.

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts wrote: »

As wedded as many menfolk are to the idea of men aging like wine, for many, that isn’t the case.

Ah, I don't doubt that either..

I still got it though..

(Joke..I never had it.. whatever it is..)

SusieBlue

Assetbacked wrote: »

Women making their own choices and ending up feeling sad they missed the boat as a result of those choices is the fault of both genders and society? Definitely not.

Women aren’t making these choices.
Men on this thread are claiming they are.

I don’t know anyone who has intentionally forgone any type of romantic relationship for over a decade to focus on their career, nor do I know any women with a goal of marriage/babies who spent their whole adult lives f*cking wasters only to remember they wanted a ring & a sprog when it got ‘too late’.

Yet men on this thread are stating these scenarios as facts and I’m expected to just accept that?

anewme

Just wtf is going on around here?

Last week this thread was called how common is it for people to never find an other half and have kids and now, voila, yet again, its back under a different name, but same ****. The posts are the exact same if you read that thread.

Rinse, and repeat again and again.

The jist of it seems to be...women wanting a career leave it to late to find a husband and end up an old hag at 40 alone with 100 moggys.

Then yesterday, the topic was a bloke slowing down his car to ogle women and then wondering why they were glaring at him.

Seriously, theres some real tulips around here.

Their Granny must have pissed in their cornflakes when they were a babby or something.

What is it with all the women hating threads.?

Harvey Weinstein

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts wrote: »

SATC acknowledged all this and had episodes and storylines on the topic. I don’t believe you watched the show like you say you did because if you did, you would know that.

I did watch it, the latter part of the series did focus on this, and was far more realistic in this regard, especially with Samantha and Carrie having to deal with competing with younger Women. Most men who hate it didn't watch it.

Harvey Weinstein

eviltwin wrote: »

Yeah footballers are great examples of domestic bliss aren't they :rolleyes:

I settled down very young and thankfully we are still together. But we are the exception, most of the couples who hooked up at the same time are split leaving a trail of misery in their wake. My husbands best mate realised at 35 he didn't love his wife any more, now he's living in a small flat he can barely afford with kids he sees on set days

Living the dream.

Well thats the consequences of his choices isn't it.

Arghus

anewme wrote: »

Just wtf is going on around here?...


What is it with all the women hating threads.?

There's always a few women hating threads knocking around.

What seems to be stoking it up is that the usual cohort are actually having their half-baked opinions challenged - and they don't like it.

Harvey Weinstein

kikilarue2 wrote: »

*everyone* has fewer options in their 30s, men and women. It’s not like there’s a disproportionately high number of single women compared to men.

I get that men have this fantasy where they decide to settle down at 39 and meet a hot 21 yo that’s mad for them, but a fantasy is all that is.

No, men who want families have more choices in their 30's and beyond.

Assetbacked

anewme wrote: »

Just wtf is going on around here?

Last week this thread was called how common is it for people to never find an other half and have kids and now, voila, yet again, its back under a different name, but same ****. The posts are the exact same if you read that thread.

Rinse, and repeat again and again.

The jist of it seems to be...women wanting a career leave it to late to find a husband and end up an old hag at 40 alone with 100 moggys.

Then yesterday, the topic was a bloke slowing down his car to ogle women and then wondering why they were glaring at him.

Seriously, theres some real tulips around here.

Their Granny must have pissed in their cornflakes when they were a babby or something.

What is it with all the women hating threads.?

You seem stressed and typically of this type of posting, cannot help yourself to seek out a personal attack in order to justify your frustration.

bitofabind

I thought the whole thing about SATC was that it was flying in the face of these age-old stereotypes and narrow-minded ideas society had about women and the ridiculously ageist notion that we'd been putting up with for decades whereby if you're not 30 and married then you're well and truly fooked.

like before SATC there were no shows celebrating female friendship in the same way, where those friendships don't need to take a backseat at a certain age where you're "supposed" to have a husband and kids instead. And that it's ok to be 30 and not have a husband and kids and still be a valid, valuable human being, which is sadly an idea lost on many people even to this day

And also that it's ok to be a woman and have a sex drive, and to celebrate that sex drive and it doesn't need to be a muted, private thing that we have to be demure about because women need sex too. which sadly even 20 years ago was a pretty revolutionary idea.

anewme

Assetbacked wrote: »

anewme wrote: »

Just wtf is going on around here?

Last week this thread was called how common is it for people to never find an other half and have kids and now, voila, yet again, its back under a different name, but same ****. The posts are the exact same if you read that thread.

Rinse, and repeat again and again.

The jist of it seems to be...women wanting a career leave it to late to find a husband and end up an old hag at 40 alone with 100 moggys.

Then yesterday, the topic was a bloke slowing down his car to ogle women and then wondering why they were glaring at him.

Seriously, theres some real tulips around here.

Their Granny must have pissed in their cornflakes when they were a babby or something.

What is it with all the women hating threads.?

You seem stressed and typically of this type of posting, cannot help yourself to seek out a personal attack in order to justify your frustration.

Personal attack, me hole.

Have you anything good to say about women?. Ever? All I see is the same poison.

The other posters are right in that the women basher posters dont like being called out on it.

There was a woman bashing post last week, its here again under a different title this week. And was here again yesterday in a different form.

Change the record.

Raconteuse

How stupid do some men think women are with this "They were sold a pup, they were told they could have it all, they leave it too late" stuff, as if women actually don't know that our fertility has a shelf life?

The delusion is from those guys who pretend we're all ball-busting New York/London career women (including in Tralee and Ipswich) and that we're sneering at every man we meet who isn't an utter adonis, and then suddenly... it hits us - we were wrong all along, and now it's too late...

Whereas the actual reality - not being a TV series - is: most of us lead the standard humdrum life with run of the mill jobs (there are only so many high powered careers), hoping to meet someone to share this life with, but obviously going through stints of being single between relationships, and not being ready for relationships at times because of difficult break-ups and wanting stints alone, and wanting to have a bit of fun. Also waiting until our late 20s at least to start a family because we are living a lot longer (and obviously many many women in their 30s are having healthy babies - it's the standard now, as everyone knows full well; of course women don't have to settle down in their mid 20s) but knowing that by 35 it could be more difficult.

And the men we meet - think the very same as the above. They want to wait until their 30s too.

And then there are the relationships that don't work out, and those women (and men) are single in their 30s but that wasn't the plan, and they did try. And then there are the people (men and women) who choose not to have children, and actually aren't upset by being single or child-free in their 30s.

There is a narrative now that there are all these women who are paying for their mistakes - Sex & The City was seen as the epitome of those women, and this story about the writer is no doubt an absolute delight to some. It is a good opportunity to take pot shots in relation to women's attractiveness and ageing also, because the guys who didn't have luck with the ladies in their 20s very much enjoy the idea of those same women losing their looks and not having the same choices now. That's a hugely important part of this narrative too.

EmmetSpiceland

anewme wrote: »

The jist of it seems to be...women wanting a career leave it to late to find a husband and end up an old hag at 40 alone with 100 moggys.

Then yesterday, the topic was a bloke slowing down his car to ogle women and then wondering why they were glaring at him.

No, sometimes there’s ones about women who settle for reliable “beta” types to basically use as a sperm donor before cutting off sex altogether, through various excuses.

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts

Raconteuse wrote: »

How stupid do some men think women are with this "They were sold a pup, they were told they could have it all, they leave it too late" stuff, as if women actually don't know that our fertility has a shelf life?

The delusion is from those guys who pretend we're all ball-busting New York/London career women (including in Tralee and Ipswich) and that we're sneering at every man we meet who isn't an utter adonis, and then suddenly... it hits us - we were wrong all along, and now it's too late...

Whereas the actual reality - not being a TV series - is: most of us lead the standard humdrum life with run of the mill jobs (there are only so many high powered careers), hoping to meet someone to share this life with, but obviously going through stints of being single between relationships, and not being ready for relationships at times because of difficult break-ups and wanting stints alone, and wanting to have a bit of fun. Also waiting until our late 20s at least to start a family because we are living a lot longer (and obviously many many women in their 30s are having healthy babies - it's the standard now, as everyone knows full well; of course women don't have to settle down in their mid 20s) but knowing that by 35 it could be more difficult.

And the men we meet - think the very same as the above. They want to wait until their 30s too.

And then there are the relationships that don't work out, and those women (and men) are single in their 30s but that wasn't the plan, and they did try. And then there are the people (men and women) who choose not to have children, and actually aren't upset by being single or child-free in their 30s.

There is a narrative now that there are all these women who are paying for their mistakes - Sex & The City was seen as the epitome of those women, and this story about the writer is no doubt an absolute delight to some. It is a good opportunity to take pot shots in relation to women's attractiveness and ageing also, because the guys who didn't have luck with the ladies in their 20s very much enjoy the idea of those same women losing their looks and not having the same choices now. That's a hugely important part of this narrative too.

An eminently sensible post. That will probably be ignored or rubbished.

eviltwin

Funny how these bitter threads are always started by the men who claim to be living the dream. I mean, if you are really having the best life, why do you feel the need to make endless threads picking on women. Happy and content people usually don't feel the need to do this.

On the other hand you never see us old, bitter, unlovable hags with our empty, miserable lives starting threads about how bad the menfolk are. Funny ain't it.

kikilarue2

The gas part is if a woman posted here saying she had made a decision that finding a husband and raising a family were more important to her than progressing in her career, the cries of “GOLDDIGGER” would be heard far and wide across the forum.

If you want a career, you’re wasting your prime husband-catching years.

If you want a husband, you’re a golddigger with no ambition.

There’s no winning for women in AH.

Thank GOD the men I meet in real life don’t hold these attitudes or I’d be so depressed I’d struggle to get out of bed.

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts

Autumn August wrote: »

I really don't think.it should.be controversial to say that some women leave it too late to start a family, does it mean that you supposedly hate women if you state this fact? Nobody has denied tthat there are numerous reasons why women might not be able to start a family.

Yes, that’s all you said.

Assetbacked

anewme wrote: »

Personal attack, me hole.

Have you anything good to say about women?. Ever? All I see is the same poison.

The other posters are right in that the women basher posters dont like being called out on it.

There was a woman bashing post last week, its here again under a different title this week. And was here again yesterday in a different form.

Change the record.

Calling it "women bashing" now, dear God. What is wrong with you? You are wound up tighter than a corset (which you probably wouldn't wear just because you were forced to by "society"). You have hijacked the discussion into your own self-absorbed view that women are constantly attacked and trying to suppress anything which is said that might make women look bad.

kikilarue2

Autumn August wrote: »

kikilarue2 wrote: »

The gas part is if a woman posted here saying she had made a decision that finding a husband and raising a family were more important to her than progressing in her career, the cries of “GOLDDIGGER” would be heard far and wide across the forum.

If you want a career, you’re wasting your prime husband-catching years.

If you want a husband, you’re a golddigger with no ambition.

There’s no winning for women in AH.

Thank GOD the men I meet in real life don’t hold these attitudes or I’d be so depressed I’d struggle to get out of bed.

Word of advice if you haven't digured this out, you'll never please everyone, live your life how you want and don't be a people pleaser.

If you think I’m concerned with being a people pleaser, you’re not paying very close attention to my posts!

Many thanks for the unsolicited advice though, as a lady I find it hard to navigate life without the random instruction of men on the internet!

SusieBlue

Assetbacked wrote: »

Calling it "women bashing" now, dear God. What is wrong with you? You are wound up tighter than a corset (which you probably wouldn't wear just because you were forced to by "society"). You have hijacked the discussion into your own self-absorbed view that women are constantly attacked and trying to suppress anything which is said that might make women look bad.

How patronising. You literally can’t make any points without throwing in snide sexist little digs.

This whole thread is about making women look bad. Sorry that there are women here defending themselves against the vitriol being directed at our entire gender.

Assetbacked

SusieBlue wrote: »

How patronising. You literally can’t make any points without throwing in snide sexist little digs.

This whole thread is about making women look bad. Sorry that there are women here defending themselves against the vitriol being directed at our entire gender.

If you feel it is a personal attack on you then there must be a level of truth in what people are saying.

metaoblivia

Assetbacked wrote: »

If you feel it is a personal attack on you then there must be a level of truth in what people are saying.

You're really doing your best to gaslight Susie here and we all see it.

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts

Assetbacked wrote: »

If you feel it is a personal attack on you then there must be a level of truth in what people are saying.

Well, that’s a steaming pile of shite.

If you’re going to insult people, own it.

kikilarue2

Assetbacked wrote: »

SusieBlue wrote: »

How patronising. You literally can’t make any points without throwing in snide sexist little digs.

This whole thread is about making women look bad. Sorry that there are women here defending themselves against the vitriol being directed at our entire gender.

If you feel it is a personal attack on you then there must be a level of truth in what people are saying.

That’s a BS argument. If someone calls your mother a fat cünt and you get offended it’s not (necessarily) because there’s an element of truth to it (though there may well be, obvs)

SusieBlue

Assetbacked wrote: »

If you feel it is a personal attack on you then there must be a level of truth in what people are saying.

The only person who seems to be taking anything as a personal attack here is yourself.

You are being insulting and patronising in your replies, accusing pretty much anyone who has the audacity to disagree with you of being ‘triggered’, yet you’re extremely defensive and passive aggressive when called out on it.
Quite a double standard you have going on there.

anewme

Assetbacked wrote: »

anewme wrote: »

Personal attack, me hole.

Have you anything good to say about women?. Ever? All I see is the same poison.

The other posters are right in that the women basher posters dont like being called out on it.

There was a woman bashing post last week, its here again under a different title this week. And was here again yesterday in a different form.

Change the record.

Calling it "women bashing" now, dear God. What is wrong with you? You are wound up tighter than a corset (which you probably wouldn't wear just because you were forced to by "society"). You have hijacked the discussion into your own self-absorbed view that women are constantly attacked and trying to suppress anything which is said that might make women look bad.

I asked you have you anything good to say about women.

Ever?

Your answer is very clear.

No you dont.

Your comments about wearing a corset is very weird? Why would society tell me or anyone else to wear a corset.

You are aware this is 2019?

sportsfan90

Harvey Weinstein wrote: »

Well I know a lot of Women in the opposite situation, who focused on careers, partying etc but I get what you're saying.

But similar to yourself I know plenty of people who were in long term relationships and they fell apart.
And this is I think where both Men and Women have been duped, the idea of long term relationships, where people put off having families in their 20's and 30's only for the relationship to end. Back in the day the majority of people would settle down and have kids after 2 or 3 years or even less, not go out for 8 years before even thinking about it. Again, if someone wants a family this is a monumental waste of time. One of my friends went out with a guy for 15 years, had no kids, they broke up and he is now in another relationship and thinking of starting a family whereas its probably too late for her (early 40's) She is devastated.

I'm failing to understand your point here. Why is it a monumental waste of time? What's wrong with making sure that's the person you actually want to have a family with?

Most people have relationships in their 20s that end for whatever reason. Are you suggesting that if two people in their 20s both want a family at some stage in their life and are together for 2-3 years they should just get on with making babies in the hope that theirs isn't one of the majority of 20-something relationships that end and just in case they never get the opportunity again?

Or is it the hope that if they have kids in their 20s that they're more likely to stay together, even if not right for each other? You mentioned "back in the day" like it was perfect, but there are countless couples (particularly in our parents generation when societal norms made it taboo) that live unhappy lives because they had kids young with the wrong person and feel they had no choice but to stick with what they had.

Also, if anything it makes it harder for people who have kids with the wrong person in their 20s who later on find themselves single to find someone later on in life, as shown in recent threads asking would you date someone who already has children.

anewme

metaoblivia wrote: »

Assetbacked wrote: »

If you feel it is a personal attack on you then there must be a level of truth in what people are saying.

You're really doing your best to gaslight Susie here and we all see it.

Trying to gaslight anyone who disagrees with him.

Failing.

Badly.

rafatoni

ToddyDoody wrote: »

Here's one. Does anyone feel sorry for Enya, who never had kids or many relationships?

I've read the odd opinion piece voicing concern that she might regret not raising a family, but uit wasn't tabloid stuff.

think i read an article recently where she said it just all sailed away from her.

rafatoni

rafatoni wrote: »

think i read an article recently where she said it just all sailed away from her.[/quote]

Something something Orinoco flow..

anewme

Arghus wrote: »

anewme wrote: »

Just wtf is going on around here?...


What is it with all the women hating threads.?

There's always a few women hating threads knocking around.

What seems to be stoking it up is that the usual cohort are actually having their half-baked opinions challenged - and they don't like it.

Given that they dont like women and like trying to gaslight women, the next women hating thread should be titled

"Fanny by Gaslight"

Autecher

anewme wrote: »

Just wtf is going on around here?

Last week this thread was called how common is it for people to never find an other half and have kids and now, voila, yet again, its back under a different name, but same ****. The posts are the exact same if you read that thread.

Rinse, and repeat again and again.

The jist of it seems to be...women wanting a career leave it to late to find a husband and end up an old hag at 40 alone with 100 moggys.

Then yesterday, the topic was a bloke slowing down his car to ogle women and then wondering why they were glaring at him.

Seriously, theres some real tulips around here.

Their Granny must have pissed in their cornflakes when they were a babby or something.

What is it with all the women hating threads.?

I do agree on these threads lately, there have been a sad number of them. The problem though is that people respond to them. Actually that's incorrect, the problem is that people repeatedly respond to them. It seems not enough people, be they male, female or other are willing to simply walk away for fear of letting other person/people have the last word. There is the option to unfollow a thread and put users someone doesn't like on the ignore list but they choose to engage instead. It boggles my mind how there are so many people the world over that get involved in these hours/days/weeks/months long fights over on the internet. Why do they care that much? I am talking about adults here, kids would let it go after about 5 minutes because they would realise that it doesn't matter.

Autecher

Or to sum it up in picture form...

s7ryf3925pivug

Sex and the City was a celebration of consumerism and sexual objectification of men dressed up as feminism. Nonsense fantasy where a woman has endless resources (based on her clothes and lifestyle) as a result of doing dear diary type columns at the end of each of her adventures.

But it wasn't about career over motherhood. Hedonism over relationships maybe.

anewme

Autecher wrote: »

anewme wrote: »

Just wtf is going on around here?

Last week this thread was called how common is it for people to never find an other half and have kids and now, voila, yet again, its back under a different name, but same ****. The posts are the exact same if you read that thread.

Rinse, and repeat again and again.

The jist of it seems to be...women wanting a career leave it to late to find a husband and end up an old hag at 40 alone with 100 moggys.

Then yesterday, the topic was a bloke slowing down his car to ogle women and then wondering why they were glaring at him.

Seriously, theres some real tulips around here.

Their Granny must have pissed in their cornflakes when they were a babby or something.

What is it with all the women hating threads.?

I do agree on these threads lately, there have been a sad number of them. The problem though is that people respond to them. Actually that's incorrect, the problem is that people repeatedly respond to them. It seems not enough people, be they male, female or other are willing to simply walk away for fear of letting other person/people have the last word. There is the option to unfollow a thread and put users someone doesn't like on the ignore list but they choose to engage instead. It boggles my mind how there are so many people the world over that get involved in these hours/days/weeks/months long fights over on the internet. Why do they care that much? I am talking about adults here, kids would let it go after about 5 minutes because they would realise that it doesn't matter.

The quality of the After Hours threads in general has gone downhill rapidly. Thats why im asking what the hell is going on.

I said on another thread that I dont even understand many of them anymore as they seem to be digs at people and if you dont know them, you are completely lost.

I might be the only person thinking the made up characters are just not funny and a complete borefest. More infighting.

Theres a clear pattern of these women hater threads also, same people make up names and register to abuse women. Ive seen them deliberately try to wind up and upset people (one particulat thread comes to mind). On another hand, its quite worrying that these nasty people are out there, mind you theyd probably not say boo in real life.

I didnt tbink after hiurs was supposed to be a as narky and negative. Is there a coup taking place or something where the fun posters disappear leaving the same person f8ghting with their three or six personas.

Pity that its going this way.

Wibbs

Raconteuse wrote: »

How stupid do some men think women are with this "They were sold a pup, they were told they could have it all, they leave it too late" stuff, as if women actually don't know that our fertility has a shelf life?

The delusion is from those guys who pretend we're all ball-busting New York/London career women (including in Tralee and Ipswich) and that we're sneering at every man we meet who isn't an utter adonis, and then suddenly... it hits us - we were wrong all along, and now it's too late...

Whereas the actual reality - not being a TV series - is: most of us lead the standard humdrum life with run of the mill jobs (there are only so many high powered careers), hoping to meet someone to share this life with, but obviously going through stints of being single between relationships, and not being ready for relationships at times because of difficult break-ups and wanting stints alone, and wanting to have a bit of fun. Also waiting until our late 20s at least to start a family because we are living a lot longer (and obviously many many women in their 30s are having healthy babies - it's the standard now, as everyone knows full well; of course women don't have to settle down in their mid 20s) but knowing that by 35 it could be more difficult.

And the men we meet - think the very same as the above. They want to wait until their 30s too.

And then there are the relationships that don't work out, and those women (and men) are single in their 30s but that wasn't the plan, and they did try. And then there are the people (men and women) who choose not to have children, and actually aren't upset by being single or child-free in their 30s.

There is a narrative now that there are all these women who are paying for their mistakes - Sex & The City was seen as the epitome of those women, and this story about the writer is no doubt an absolute delight to some. It is a good opportunity to take pot shots in relation to women's attractiveness and ageing also, because the guys who didn't have luck with the ladies in their 20s very much enjoy the idea of those same women losing their looks and not having the same choices now. That's a hugely important part of this narrative too.

'uckin nailed it on a few fronts.