Teach Stranger Danger or no???

Bassfish

Hi, I would like some opinions on this issue. My two and a half year old boy is a very friendly little chap but possibly too much so. He has no boundaries with strangers. He'll happily strike up a conversation with random people in shops and parks, telling them about his dinosaurs and tractors. Our childminder told us recently that when she took him and the other kids to a play centre he was going up to the other adults in there and trying to take them by the hand and show them things or getting them to put him on the slide etc. The childminder said she had to intervene several times and it got quite awkward with the other mums there. She is saying we should start explaining stranger danger to him.
On one hand I totally get where she is coming from and he will have to learn boundaries. On the other hand, I hate the thoughts of instilling fear of people in him. He is such a happy, fun loving kid and he has such a great personality. People are always saying is such a great little character. I fear some of that character will be lost if he's unduly made nervous of people.
The other thing is he is a very sensitive boy and things can bother him for a long time. When my wife was in hospital having our second, himself got very upset and thought Mommy was sick and had to be reassured constantly. I'd just worry about how he would process the whole stranger danger concept.
It's quite likely that I'm completely over thinking this and making too big a deal out of it in my head. Would be interested in what others think.

margo321

i dont think i would. his nature is to be friendly and why change him. he as well as all children needs to be supervised. horrible people exist and i dont think teaching stranger danger helps as such especially he is so young. instead he shoukd be gently told ask me as other adults are busy chatting when you want to show something.

Bassfish wrote: »

Hi, I would like some opinions on this issue. My two and a half year old boy is a very friendly little chap but possibly too much so. He has no boundaries with strangers. He'll happily strike up a conversation with random people in shops and parks, telling them about his dinosaurs and tractors. Our childminder told us recently that when she took him and the other kids to a play centre he was going up to the other adults in there and trying to take them by the hand and show them things or getting them to put him on the slide etc. The childminder said she had to intervene several times and it got quite awkward with the other mums there. She is saying we should start explaining stranger danger to him.
On one hand I totally get where she is coming from and he will have to learn boundaries. On the other hand, I hate the thoughts of instilling fear of people in him. He is such a happy, fun loving kid and he has such a great personality. People are always saying is such a great little character. I fear some of that character will be lost if he's unduly made nervous of people.
The other thing is he is a very sensitive boy and things can bother him for a long time. When my wife was in hospital having our second, himself got very upset and thought Mommy was sick and had to be reassured constantly. I'd just worry about how he would process the whole stranger danger concept.
It's quite likely that I'm completely over thinking this and making too big a deal out of it in my head. Would be interested in what others think.

MiliMe

We are in the same position, our first will happily chat away to anyone and I've only just said to her yesterday that she should never go off with anybody that is not mammy or daddy or somebody that she knows. And she should tell us if anyone asks her to go away with them.
Like you i don't want to stop her from being so friendly but she should know its not ok to wander away with strangers.

AlanG

Generally, but counter-intuitively a child who talks to strangers is far safer. if a child gets separated and talks to a stranger it is 99.9999% likely that person will help them, the chances of them randomly picking an unsafe parson is extremely low. If on the other hand they wont talk to strangers then they are wondering around until a person comes up to them - in this case there is a higher (but still minuscule) chance that they will be targeted by an unsafe individual.
We had a similar case with our youngest - we thought him some rules,especially about taking peoples hands but we never thought them that it is dangerous as such, just inappropriate. We also give them a hierarchy of actions should they et separated that has worked for us so far - stay where they are for 2-3 mins, find a worker, shopkeeper etc. in uniform, if not find a group of 2 parents with kids if possible and so on.

shesty

Yes we have this with our first.She views everyone as a potential person to chat to.She doesn't go up and take people's hands now, but even yesterday we were in a park and a little boy was following her...she went up and butted into a conversation between two women to say there was a boy following her and was he theirs??(morto...).

She is five so like the last poster I have started to say don't ever go with anyone, no matter what they say to you, and things to do if she gets lost...that sort of thing.I will reinforce it more in the next year as she starts JI.2 and a half is quite young to get that concept across, I wonder is there any information out there on simple ways to communicate some basics to very small kids??

I am also constantly telling mine to say "excuse me" before butting into conversations.....and not to just go butt into stranger's conversations.