When to move baby to their own room?

John_Mc

Hi,

Our first born is 4.5 months old and is a thriving and strong little fella.

Myself and the wife have been discussing when we should move him to another room as his thrashing and mid-sleep crying/grunting are waking us up many times during the night.

The SIDs guidelines say 12 months but I've been told by many parents of multiple children that we should get him into his own room as soon as possible.

Any thoughts on this? Thanks in advance.

sReq | uTeK

John_Mc wrote: »

Hi,

Our first born is 4.5 months old and is a thriving and strong little fella.

Myself and the wife have been discussing when we should move him to another room as his thrashing and mid-sleep crying/grunting are waking us up many times during the night.

The SIDs guidelines say 12 months but I've been told by many parents of multiple children that we should get him into his own room as soon as possible.

Any thoughts on this? Thanks in advance.

Had the 3rd child in the room next door and baby monitor after 3-4 weeks I think

Shes 18 months now and in the 99th percentile

fits

I could not have relaxed with them in a different room at that age. I needed to have them close by.

Guidelines say to wait until six months for SIDS reasons.

bee06

The general recommendation is from 6 months on is OK. Link is from the lullaby trust in the U.K who are a SIDS charity.

https://www.lullabytrust.org.uk/safer-sleep-advice/room-sharing/

Midnight_EG

Had my Son in his own room at 4 months, but if he woke and cried then we just took him into our room and into the travel cot. By 8 months he was sleeping through the night in his own room. He's now 15 months and sleeps sound from 8pm until 10:30am

partyguinness

TBH we had both our kids in separate rooms from the start save maybe the first night. Both 3 and 7 now.

Never ever in the bed with us.

Our eldest slept on his stomach. Yes all the rules say on back but he just would not settle so stomach it was. The rules in our parents day was on the stomach. He woke every 2-3 hours for the first 18 months and ruined my sleep forever but he had a lot of naps during the day.

The girl by contrast took no naps during the day (stubborn cow) but slept through until around 4.30- 5 for a small bottle and then another 2-3 hours sleep.

I would be concerned about overheating in a room with 3 people all sleeping.

shesty

Between 6 & 8 months in our house for all three kids.All slept in their own cot pulled up beside our bed for the most part, apart from when they were newborns and being breastfed-they came into the bed at times in the night then.

Milly33

As normal everyone is differant i know the recommendations is between 6 - 12mths but to me that was just malarky, do they ever want ye to get a good nights sleep and also think they longer you wait to do something the harder it is.. If ye think and the baby is ready for it, go for it...

We moved out little one into her big cot for naps pretty much in the first couple of weeks but for night time, we had her in a Moses basket in our room for 3mths.. Then moved her into her cot and slept in that room with her for maybe 2 weeks. We would not sleep in that room until she woke up during the night really. Worked perfect she settled in grand..

But just think, if ye are ready for it go for it do what feels best for ye..

lashes34

We moved ours at 7 months, I personally wouldnt before 6 months but easy to say when little baby snores arent keeping me awake!

seamus

shesty wrote: »

Between 6 & 8 months in our house for all three kids.All slept in their own cot pulled up beside our bed for the most part, apart from when they were newborns and being breastfed-they came into the bed at times in the night then.

This on both of ours.

First a bit longer than the second because the bedrooms were on different floors. We actually had a full sized cot in our room for 3 months on the first.

Tbh, go with what works for you. The primary driver in our case was practicality. Once the child is rolling over and sitting up, you can no longer use a moses basket and the co-sleeper only works for sleeping at night.

So in our case we were putting her down for her daytime naps in her own bedroom, it just made sense to put her down there at night too.

Any earlier than six months would have been more hassle because they were exclusively breastfed until then.

partyguinness

I have to admit to being a little skeptical about these guidelines.

While nobody wants to consider the notion of SIDS happening but if you think about it is having the infant in the room with you really going to make any difference? Not unless you are wide awake staring at them to make sure they are breathing.

Otherwise you are just going to fall sleep and having them next to you or down the hall is not going to make any difference.

SIDS is extremely rare.

bee06

partyguinness wrote: »

I have to admit to being a little skeptical about these guidelines.

While nobody wants to consider the notion of SIDS happening but if you think about it is having the infant in the room with you really going to make any difference? Not unless you are wide awake staring at them to make sure they are breathing.

Otherwise you are just going to fall sleep and having them next to you or down the hall is not going to make any difference.

SIDS is extremely rare.

SIDs is extremely rare but it does happen. I personally know someone who’s baby died of SIDs.

Some information on a study showing how much it reduces the risk in the link below for anyone who’s interested.

https://www.basisonline.org.uk/room-sharing/

fits

partyguinness wrote: »

SIDS is extremely rare.

It is rarer now, but it used to be quite common.

catrionanic

I also know someone whose baby died of SIDS.

I have two small children, and moved them at six months and 7.5 months. I wouldn't have slept well if they were in another room younger than six months. I just couldn't forgive myself if anything did happen.

Ms2011

10 weeks with both.
Angelcare monitor with the sensor mat gave us great piece of mind, once I could hear that tick tocking away I knew both babies were fine.

jlm29

partyguinness wrote: »

SIDS is extremely rare.

it’s rarer now than it used to be because certain things have changed? We know better than generations gone by, so we do better. People in general don’t prone their babies now putting them to sleep, people don’t smoke around babies, we’re not wrapping them up like onions putting them to bed. All risk factors that have been modified (by and large) by the general population.

detoxkid

Our daughter still wakes up twice a night and I breastfeed her so for handyness sake I won't be moving her untill she's at least six months and not waking for feeds.

shesty

There was a handiness element for us too.Moses basket beside bed for a coupke of months, then full size cot beside our bed til about 7 months (varying for each child, 6-8 months anyway).It was so handy to just roll over and soothe them at night if needed.We dealt with any sleep regressions easily.I found at 5/6 months it began to be noticeable that we were disturbing them and they disturbed us at night.Once they moved we all slept fine but if I am honest, I cannot complain too much about their nightime sleep because they are all quite good, compared to some of what I hear.It took some work to achieve that though!

SIDS guidelines are what they are for a reason.They are not arbitrary, and I would not go with the train of thought that because it's now rarer, it is ok to stop doing what is recommended.

facehugger99

About 3 months ago OP.

OctoberMammy

Our fella was a little over 6 months. We had him in the cot beside our bed for a couple of weeks, then moved the cot into his own room (where I slept on the sofa bed for a few more nights). Even now, I still wake up in a panic to check the monitor in the middle of the night - don't think that'll ever go away! But he's been happy enough, for the most part.

lazygal

Our fella outgrew his cosleeper at six months so we transitioned him into his cot. We were waking him up getting ready for bed in our room too. Our first was four months going into her room, second was also about six months. We took all the risks and benefits into account.

razorblunt

Moved our fella out at 3 months, he's just shy of 5 months now and there's been no issues.

evil_seed

I think people here are confusing SIDS with cot death. SIDS isn't the same as far as I'm aware

iamwhoiam

evil_seed wrote: »

I think people here are confusing SIDS with cot death. SIDS isn't the same as far as I'm aware

They are the same thing . The sudden death of an infant

https://www2.hse.ie/wellbeing/child-health/cot-death/overview-of-cot-death.html

It used to be known as cot death but was confusing as it does not always happen in a cot .

charlietheminxx

evil_seed wrote: »

I think people here are confusing SIDS with cot death. SIDS isn't the same as far as I'm aware

SIDS is the same as cot death, it's just the proper name for it.

BarryD2

Ours shared the same room for varying amounts of years, not months. Ne'er a problem. Different strokes for different folks

OP, do what feels right for your wife, your child and you - more or less in that order!

Sheepdish1

It is a personal choice OP. Check out safe sleep guidelines, there are recommendations on how long they should stay in room.

Apart from above guidelines do what ever works for you. I keep mine in room longer than most people I know, First kid outgrew the cot ( yes cot ) before moving into own room, second may be the same depending the same, i'll see what happens and go with flow.

I like them sleeping near me when small. people are often surprised how long they stay in room but it is just normal to me. A few people over the years have told me I shouldn't do that but it works for me so I don't really care what they think There are pros and cons having cot in my room but I find the pros out weight the cons ( for me :- D )

Cakerbaker

My first was nearly 2.5 moving into their own room. He was moved cos baby was on the way and we knew he’s be woken a lot at night if we were all in the same room. Baby 2 is over a year now and won’t be moving any time soon. Her cot is sidecared onto our bed. I just prefer having them nearby when small and it’s easier to not have to move when they wake at night.

awec

Jaysus, no idea how you put up with it for 2.5 years!

Our 18 month old has been out of our room for a year and it's the best thing we ever did, was always an excellent sleeper but going to her own room was even better. She has to sleep in our room when we visit grandparents and it's a total nightmare. Having to tip toe into bed, having to tip toe to the toilet in the middle of the night, being woken by baby when she decides to have a chat with herself at 3am or stands up in the cot like a meerkat to see where we are.

There's no benefit to keeping them in your room for so long. Between 6 and 8 months then it's time for them to graduate to sleeping on their own, so both they and you get a better night's sleep IMO.

Sheepdish1

awec wrote: »

Jaysus, no idea how you put up with it for 2.5 years!

Our 18 month old has been out of our room for a year and it's the best thing we ever did, was always an excellent sleeper but going to her own room was even better. She has to sleep in our room when we visit grandparents and it's a total nightmare. Having to tip toe into bed, having to tip toe to the toilet in the middle of the night, being woken by baby when she decides to have a chat with herself at 3am or stands up in the cot like a meerkat to see where we are.

There's no benefit to keeping them in your room for so long. Between 6 and 8 months then it's time for them to graduate to sleeping on their own, so both they and you get a better night's sleep IMO.

There is benefit depending on what works for a family. I find there are more pros than cons sleeping in same room for longer.

There is no tip toeing around. My house is busy and loud....they are used to the noise and once fallen asleep it would take a lot to waken them. I am in and out of my room all the time....opening and closing door, making phone calls, speaking normally, tidying stuff away into wardrobes, moving furniture etc and it wouldn’t waken them.

A lot of cultures don’t have separate rooms the way we have, it really depends on what works for a family imo and everyone is different

Sheepdish1

awec wrote: »

Jaysus, no idea how you put up with it for 2.5 years!

Our 18 month old has been out of our room for a year and it's the best thing we ever did, was always an excellent sleeper but going to her own room was even better. She has to sleep in our room when we visit grandparents and it's a total nightmare. Having to tip toe into bed, having to tip toe to the toilet in the middle of the night, being woken by baby when she decides to have a chat with herself at 3am or stands up in the cot like a meerkat to see where we are.

There's no benefit to keeping them in your room for so long. Between 6 and 8 months then it's time for them to graduate to sleeping on their own, so both they and you get a better night's sleep IMO.

There is benefit depending on what works for a family. I find there are more pros than cons sleeping in same room for longer.

There is no tip toeing around. My house is busy and loud....they are used to the noise and once fallen asleep it would take a lot to waken them. I am in and out of my room all the time....opening and closing door, making phone calls, speaking normally, tidying stuff away into wardrobes, moving furniture etc and it wouldn’t waken them.

A lot of cultures don’t have separate rooms the way we have, it really depends on what works for a family imo and everyone is different

Sheepdish1

I can also turn lights on off etc, the thing that would wake me and little ones is day light. Nothing else really. I have black out sheet and I still waken at 5 with the tiny amount of light that comes in!

fits

I couldn’t sleep in a different room to one of my boys before he turned two and now I can’t sleep in the same room as him! Still room in with the other boy for half the night. They are all different. Agree with the poster that says to do what suits wife and baby first.

awec

Sheepdish1 wrote: »

There is benefit depending on what works for a family. I find there are more pros than cons sleeping in same room for longer.

There is no tip toeing around. My house is busy and loud....they are used to the noise and once fallen asleep it would take a lot to waken them. I am in and out of my room all the time....opening and closing door, making phone calls, speaking normally, tidying stuff away into wardrobes, moving furniture etc and it wouldn’t waken them.

A lot of cultures don’t have separate rooms the way we have, it really depends on what works for a family imo and everyone is different

Like what?

iamwhoiam

Sheepdish1 wrote: »

There is benefit depending on what works for a family. I find there are more pros than cons sleeping in same room for longer.

There is no tip toeing around. My house is busy and loud....they are used to the noise and once fallen asleep it would take a lot to waken them. I am in and out of my room all the time....opening and closing door, making phone calls, speaking normally, tidying stuff away into wardrobes, moving furniture etc and it wouldn’t waken them.

A lot of cultures don’t have separate rooms the way we have, it really depends on what works for a family imo and everyone is different

In my opinion everyone including children deserve a quiet space to sleep in . Away from doors opening and people talking in the room and moving furniture .
Our brains need to rest from daily noise and we all need it . Children need deep sleep to rest so they can grow and learn

bee06

awec wrote: »

Like what?

Not having to get out of bed when they wake up is the main one for me.

Cakerbaker

bee06 wrote: »

Not having to get out of bed when they wake up is the main one for me.

This was the main one for me too. We all slept well in the one room so I just didn’t see any advantage to moving him in on his own. I appreciate it may not work for everyone if someone is a light sleeper or if you can’t fit a cot in your room but I think once the guidelines of 6 months is followed then after that it’s what suits each family.

And as to having to tip toe to the toilet at night when baby’s in the room, well I tend to do that even if there isn’t a baby in the room as I try not to wake my husband too.

fits

bee06 wrote: »

awec wrote: »

Like what?

Not having to get out of bed when they wake up is the main one for me.

Me too. I realised very quickly that getting out of bed post c section to lift twins out of cots multiple times a night was not my thing.

angeldelight

I like to follow the safe sleep guidelines so it will be six months for us. I’m already looking forward to being able to have my lamp on to read when I go to bed we did the same with our first. It is a lot more of a pain to have to properly get out of bed to soothe them though

awec

bee06 wrote: »

Not having to get out of bed when they wake up is the main one for me.

Ok, so to clarify there are no benefits for a child sleeping in their parents bedroom, just benefits for mum and dad not having to get out of bed.

I get all this "do whatever works for you" stuff, but sometimes this forum has some seriously whacky advice, and IMO, a 2 year old that still doesn't have their own bedroom for a peaceful night's sleep is a bit nuts.

partyguinness

A lot of the posters here seem to focus on what works for the parents as opposed to the child/infant.

On of the most obvious concerns I had was the idea of having 3 individuals sleeping in one warm bedroom. Personally we were uncomfortable with that and felt it better for the children to have their own room and space. Bar the first few nights it was into their own room which in reality meant they were only 10-15 feet away.

SIDS while of course happens is extremely rare but likewise you have to careful not to be a slave to guidelines- they are just guidelines. Be sensible and mother's know best.

I know nurses in children's wards who (on the quiet) will rubbish a lot of the official guidelines on a wide range of matters and don't even follow it with their own personal child rearing.

We slavishly sterilized old eldest's bottle every day. He was often sick with tonsillitis and stomach bugs from nursery- lived on Calpol which we hated giving him (guidelines, guidelines guidelines). He is now a perfectly healthy rugby playing 7 year old.

By contrast we never once sterilzied our girl's bottle- just a quick rinse with boiling water. Guess what? She has never been sick- not even once. Now there are many factors. But some people will think we are the worst parents in the world for that.

You do get more relaxed with the second and third child.

Cakerbaker

awec wrote: »

Ok, so to clarify there are no benefits for a child sleeping in their parents bedroom, just benefits for mum and dad not having to get out of bed.

I get all this "do whatever works for you" stuff, but sometimes this forum has some seriously whacky advice, and IMO, a 2 year old that still doesn't have their own bedroom for a peaceful night's sleep is a bit nuts.

But he did get peaceful nights sleep, as did we. I’m not sure why you’re so convinced we wouldn’t. You’re basing your presumptions on your circumstances which is fine but that doesn’t mean that doing something an alternative way is”whacky advice” if it works for the people involved. To me it’s whacky advice to suggest moving a baby into their own room but as long as it’s after 6 months and works for the parents involved then work away!

bee06

awec wrote: »

Ok, so to clarify there are no benefits for a child sleeping in their parents bedroom, just benefits for mum and dad not having to get out of bed.

I get all this "do whatever works for you" stuff, but sometimes this forum has some seriously whacky advice, and IMO, a 2 year old that still doesn't have their own bedroom for a peaceful night's sleep is a bit nuts.

Having a mother who doesn’t crash her car on the way to work from exhaustion is quite a benefit to the child, I find. And we all sleep very peacefully together.

fits

awec wrote: »

Ok, so to clarify there are no benefits for a child sleeping in their parents bedroom, just benefits for mum and dad not having to get out of bed.

I get all this "do whatever works for you" stuff, but sometimes this forum has some seriously whacky advice, and IMO, a 2 year old that still doesn't have their own bedroom for a peaceful night's sleep is a bit nuts.

There are huge benefits to a baby being in close proximity to their mother. And it is certainly not wacky to suggest it.

To be fair some of you suggesting otherwise were saying it was perfectly normal for young children to vomit to get their parents attention recently enough -so never the twain shall meet. But that doesn't sound like a restful night to me.

lazygal

Bottles don't need to be sterilised, the formula does to kill dangerous bacteria. So hardly a valid point. Feeding a baby safely isn't the time to cut corners though.

partyguinness

lazygal wrote: »

Bottles don't need to be sterilised, the formula does to kill dangerous bacteria. So hardly a valid point. Feeding a baby safely isn't the time to cut corners though.

You have missed my point completely!

Plenty of advice and 'guidelines' out there saying bottles using formula should be sterilized every time for the first 4 months.

It's not the formula that contains dangerous bacteria but bottles with formula tend to attract more bacteria when made up which is why 'guidelines' say it must be thrown away if more than a few hours old. Suits C&G to get us using more of its product! Not all bacteria is bad.

Humans have evolved over thousands of years and billions of us have quite successfully grown up without the barrage of guideline out there.

They are there to reassure nervous parents. It's like Googling a pain in your arm. Before you know it you have convinced yourself you have Ebola.

Be sensible- you are hot wired to raise a child without the constant need for instructions. The animal kingdom do it quite successfully.

lazygal

Humans do all sorts of crazy ****.
Bottle feeding is a pain in the arse. But we followed the guidelines when we did it occasionally with our first.

pwurple

The animal kingdom has a massive mortality rate, wouldn't be reverting to that.

But to answer OP, babies are all different, and parents are too. My eldest was a very noisy sleeper. Snuffled and flapped, whimpers and mewls all the time in her sleep. I am a very light sleeper and could not sleep myself with her beside me. Our bedroom wasn't big enough to have her a few metres away in the same room. It was jammed up against our bed, or into another room. We moved her to another room after about 6 weeks.

Second baby was a quieter sleeper, so it was later.


Do whatever is more practical for your family.

awec

fits wrote: »

There are huge benefits to a baby being in close proximity to their mother. And it is certainly not wacky to suggest it.

To be fair some of you suggesting otherwise were saying it was perfectly normal for young children to vomit to get their parents attention recently enough -so never the twain shall meet. But that doesn't sound like a restful night to me.

Like what?

These benefits have been mentioned a few times now, but nobody has been able to specify a benefit for a child sleeping in the same room as their parents at 2 years old. We're talking about toddlers here, not babies.

Can you link me to something that outlines the benefits of a child sleeping in their parents bedroom post-12 months? Genuine question.

awec

bee06 wrote: »

Having a mother who doesn’t crash her car on the way to work from exhaustion is quite a benefit to the child, I find. And we all sleep very peacefully together.

This is bizarre. You have to wake up to the child either way. You are saying if you wake up, but stay within your bedroom, you don't get tired the next morning, but if you've to wake up, and walk to another bedroom in the house, you are exhausted?

Cakerbaker

awec wrote: »

Like what?

These benefits have been mentioned a few times now, but nobody has been able to specify a benefit for a child sleeping in the same room as their parents at 2 years old.

Much like you haven’t been able to specify any disadvantage other than your own dissatisfaction with the set up and your incorrect assumption that it means worse sleep for the baby.