Stuck on a scene-advice needed

DeadlyByDesign

So this is my first go at writing a screenplay. I have no idea if its any good, or what I want to happen with it when I am done, but is has been a LOT of fun so far and I am getting a kick out of the whole character creation process.

I am stuck on a scene that i had planned out in my head for months. Thats a lie actually, it is a particular dialogue beat, or more so a particualr emotional dialogue piece that is not landing the "umph" that I wanted on re-reading it. Should i keep kneading this passage out or move on and come back?

Any help is appreciated as I don't want to be hitting roadblocks!

Das Kitty

Keep going and come back to it. Or if you want to post up the thing your stuck on and get feedback, do.

Lorddrakul

What is the issue?

Is it the dialogue or the direction of the scene?

Always try to speak the dialogue, or at the very least imagine people you know with the respective traits of the characters speaking the dialogue. Often hearing the words is enough to decide whether it works or not.

If it is the direction, sometimes speaking it will give you a direction too. Also, with the scene, the dialogue is only one element and the stage directions are just as important.

km85264

If a scene isn’t working, ditch it. Hold onto, you may come back to it, but if it feels wrong, it’s wrong.

DeadlyByDesign

Lorddrakul wrote: »

What is the issue?

Is it the dialogue or the direction of the scene?

Always try to speak the dialogue, or at the very least imagine people you know with the respective traits of the characters speaking the dialogue. Often hearing the words is enough to decide whether it works or not.

If it is the direction, sometimes speaking it will give you a direction too. Also, with the scene, the dialogue is only one element and the stage directions are just as important.

Very much the dialogue I think. There is not much direction needed at this point apart from the emotion that needs to be carried. Thanks a million for the help though

FrancieBrady

Can you muster a crew to act it out? Your local drama group might help.
Always good to see it in 3d, as it were.

DeadlyByDesign

Funny you should say that, I was actually thinking that. Only thing is that it is a 2 person exchange and one of those is a kid (7/8 years of age), but yea i might be able to get one of them to sub in for a 7 year old

FrancieBrady

DeadlyByDesign wrote: »

Funny you should say that, I was actually thinking that. Only thing is that it is a 2 person exchange and one of those is a kid (7/8 years of age), but yea i might be able to get one of them to sub in for a 7 year old

Find the right people and they will love the opportunity.

pixelburp

Think the reading aloud advice is a good, easy-to-do-now approach, hearing your dialogue will give you a much better grounding on how it's all sitting together.