Would you date a woman who earns considerably more than you?

Leg End Reject

After posting in the thread where the genders were reversed, and an earlier conversation, I thought I'd ask for opinions.

I've been in a relationship where this was an issue, and have heard Male friends say they'd feel emasculated.

So is this generally an issue?

Grayditch

And be a kept man????


...absolutely.

Leg End Reject

Grayditch wrote: »

And be a kept man????


...absolutely.

How much would it cost to keep you?

Asking for a friend.

Slightly more, that would be annoying... Shìtloads more, yeah could live with that.

Experience_day

Leg End Reject wrote: »

After posting in the thread where the genders were reversed, and an earlier conversation, I thought I'd ask for opinions.

I've been in a relationship where this was an issue, and have heard Male friends say they'd feel emasculated.

So is this generally an issue?

err, so we both have more money as a household? What possible downside is there?

Leg End Reject

[Deleted User] wrote: »

Slightly more, that would be annoying... Shìtloads more, yeah could live with that.

Why the distinction?

banie01

Grayditch wrote: »

And be a kept man????


...absolutely.

Word for fúcking word the reply I had in my head, ready to type when I saw the thread title!

Get
Out
Of
My
Head...

Ya psychic Bollox Grayditch :P

Leg End Reject

Leg End Reject wrote: »

Why the distinction?

A suitably high differential would compensate nicely for my feelings of inadequacy.

Leg End Reject

[Deleted User] wrote: »

A suitably high differential would compensate nicely for my feelings of inadequacy.

And what would consider a suitably high differential to be?

Also, why would you feel inadequate?

Wibbs

Have done. Have been the one earning considerably more too. No problem for me going either direction. I'd only have a problem if they did, again going in either direction.

Arghus

Without a moments hesitation.

Leg End Reject

Leg End Reject wrote: »

And what would consider a suitably high differential to be?

Also, why would you feel inadequate?

50 to €100k pa extra would be nice. Only slightly more, no financial benefit, but lose that "trumps" category.

Wouldn't really feel inadequate.

Leg End Reject

Well all the men here are clearly of a more progressive bent.

ytpe2r5bxkn0c1

Why would it matter? The premise is the same as in the other thread. There's a severe insecurity in anybody, of either sex, who has an issue with an other in the relationship earning more or less than them.

One eyed Jack

No problem with it, would be like anything else though if it became a thing where they constantly brought it up I’d be thinking it’s not going to work out.

anewme

Most households have to have 2 incomes now to keep afloat so its always going to be one earning more than the other, most couples will just want to take home the most they can.

Leg End Reject

The issue seems to stem from an old fashioned view that the man should be the provider. I'd agree that it shouldn't be an issue and does correspond to low self esteem.

The ironic thing is that men i know who have an issue are the gym body obsessed types, so it's probably just another outward appearance issue.

abff

As others have said, it's really only an issue if the one who earns more keeps harping on about it.

buckwheat

Would surely once she was the sharing type:cool:

Wish my wife earned loads. Useless bitch:mad:

One eyed Jack

Leg End Reject wrote: »

The issue seems to stem from an old fashioned view that the man should be the provider. I'd agree that it shouldn't be an issue and does correspond to low self esteem.

The ironic thing is that men i know who have an issue are the gym body obsessed types, so it's probably just another outward appearance issue.

I don’t think that’s an old fashioned view though when it’s still something that a lot of people practice? I’d be of that view, but it doesn’t mean I’d be insecure about it if a woman I was dating earned more than me. The kind of people who have insecurities about these things are fuelled by a different motivation entirely, usually the need to be in control of the relationship and have the other person completely dependent upon them.

There’s nothing wrong IMO with a man seeing himself as the provider and nothing wrong with a woman who wants to be provided for. It’s only ever an issue if one of them feels insecure or unhappy in themselves.

Leg End Reject

buckwheat wrote: »

Would surely once she was the sharing type:cool:

Wish my wife earned loads. Useless bitch:mad:

:pac:

Now, now, caveat emptor, you should have know that before getting hitched.

Leg End Reject

One eyed Jack wrote: »

I don’t think that’s an old fashioned view though when it’s still something that a lot of people practice? I’d be of that view, but it doesn’t mean I’d be insecure about it if a woman I was dating earned more than me. The kind of people who have insecurities about these things are fuelled by a different motivation entirely, usually the need to be in control of the relationship and have the other person completely dependent upon them.

There’s nothing wrong IMO with a man seeing himself as the provider and nothing wrong with a woman who wants to be provided for. It’s only ever an issue if one of them feels insecure or unhappy in themselves.

Wait ... did I burn my bras for nothing? :pac:

On a serious note, I'd have thought it more common for both to work. I understand that one might earn more, but a lot of that is women expected to be the primary carer for children.

Stay at home dads are mocked for a lifestyle choice that suits the couple.

banie01

Leg End Reject wrote: »

Stay at home dads are mocked for a lifestyle choice that suits the couple.

I've done the stay at home dad thing, and the single parent part of parenting, 6 nearly 7 years of just me and my boy

I've never been mocked, and I have been put thru some ferocious slagging and gallows humour from my friends

Even on here, I've never encountered anything approaching a sneer, let alone derision.

But back to the topic in hand

My Mrs earns considerably more than me at present.
There's me, lonely single parent who married upwards :P

Leg End Reject

Banie, you're the stuff of fairytales and legends!

Sheridan81

Not only would I date a woman who earned more than me, but I'd seek her affections purely for that reason, propose to her pronto, marry her without a smidgen of sincere endearment on my part, then covertly bump her off the cruise ship on our honeymoon and put it down to a forceful gale. Honestly OP, have a look at yourself.

Leg End Reject

Sheridan81 wrote: »

Not only would I date a woman who earned more than me, but I'd seek her affections purely for that reason, propose to her pronto, marry her without a smidgen of sincere endearment on my part, then covertly bump her off the cruise ship on our honeymoon and put it down to a forceful gale. Honestly OP, have a look at yourself.

I'm looking Sheridan, what should I be seeing?

One eyed Jack

Leg End Reject wrote: »

Wait ... did I burn my bras for nothing? :pac:

On a serious note, I'd have thought it more common for both to work. I understand that one might earn more, but a lot of that is women expected to be the primary carer for children.

Stay at home dads are mocked for a lifestyle choice that suits the couple.

I genuinely don’t know the stats on how common it is or isn’t now that two people in a relationship are working or not, but according to the Irish Central Statistics Office at least, 98% of stay at home parents in 2016 are women -


Nearly all of the people (98%) who were looking after home or family in 2016 were women although the number of men in this grouping nearly doubled in the ten years up to 2016, rising from 4,900 to 9,200.


Things all go a bit arseways if we get into employment and wage gaps and all that stuff but no, you didn’t burn that bra for nothing... *cough*

Grayditch

Leg End Reject wrote: »

How much would it cost to keep you?

Asking for a friend.

Double pack of Jaffa Cakes per week and my own Netflix log in.

Leg End Reject

Grayditch wrote: »

Double pack of Jaffa Cakes per week and my own Netflix log in.

Cheap at twice the price! Get yer coat, you've pulled. My friend of course ...

BDI

anewme wrote: »

Most households have to have 2 incomes now to keep afloat so its always going to be one earning more than the other, most couples will just want to take home the most they can.

I remember when they told us women need to work to be independent. Now they need to stay in relationships to be able to live comfortably.

Economics eh.

Tikki Wang Wang

Yes so she can pay for my seeds

Roger Hassenforder

banie01 wrote: »

I've done the stay at home dad thing, and the single parent part of parenting, 6 nearly 7 years of just me and my boy

I've never been mocked, and I have been put thru some ferocious slagging and gallows humour from my friends

Even on here, I've never encountered anything approaching a sneer, let alone derision.

But back to the topic in hand

My Mrs earns considerably more than me at present.
There's me, lonely single parent who married upwards :P

Dude, PM me the secret...

Leg End Reject

BDI wrote: »

I remember when they told us women need to work to be independent. Now they need to stay in relationships to be able to live comfortably.

Economics eh.

Where are you getting that from?

Mad_maxx

Does the pope **** in the woods

AllForIt

I'd date anyone who earns more than me - preferably considerably more.

Leg End Reject

Mad_maxx wrote: »

Does the pope **** in the woods

Only if a woman pays for his seeds.

Roger Hassenforder

Leg End Reject wrote: »

Wait ... did I burn my bras for nothing? :pac:

On a serious note, I'd have thought it more common for both to work. I understand that one might earn more, but a lot of that is women expected to be the primary carer for children.

Stay at home dads are mocked for a lifestyle choice that suits the couple.

"Expected" or "want to" though?

Ive no problem either sex in a relationship being the primary care giver, or either being the primary earner.
If my auld doll earned more, if required, I'd pack in work to mind the kids, but I'd prefer not to though. She'd prefer to do more of the minding.

Leg End Reject

Roger Hassenforder wrote: »

"Expected" or "want to" though?

Ive no problem either sex in a relationship being the primary care giver, or either being the primary earner.
If my auld doll earned more, if required, I'd pack in work to mind the kids, but I'd prefer not to though. She'd prefer to do more of the minding.

Fair point, but there is still a perception that mothers are "better" at caring for children. Family law generally favours the mother too.

ILoveYourVibes

If more men did this Irish society would be more stable.

Everyone should aim to date someone who earns more than them.

You won't get it all the time. But i am sure it would stop a lot of families ending up on benefits.

ILoveYourVibes

Roger Hassenforder wrote: »

Dude, PM me the secret...

Just be nice.

ILoveYourVibes

Go Home Paddy Cat!! wrote: »

Yes it would be an issue for me. As a bloke Id feel really insecure and would worry she'd flit off with some other fella as money wouldnt be the selling point for attracting another male.

She won't if you treat her well.

Anyway most other men are not sensible. They are attracted to stupid things like looks or sex. That's just shallow.

I am not saying become an out and out goldigger. That's not it at all.

Its just consider your future finances with this person.

banie01

Roger Hassenforder wrote: »

Dude, PM me the secret...

Ahhhhm I dunno man, I've lucked out twice with my relationship history.
I dunno what they see in me, but I'm happy as hell they saw it

No secret, but my thinking I'm absolutely charming and hilarious apparently has nothing to do with it

Leg End Reject

banie01 wrote: »

Ahhhhm I dunno man, I've lucked out twice with my relationship history.
I dunno what they see in me, but I'm happy as hell they saw it

No secret, but my thinking I'm absolutely charming and hilarious apparently has nothing to do with it

You seem genuine, as much as one can tell by reading text. That'll do it, a genuine, down to earth man with a sense of humour.

Tikki Wang Wang

Mad_maxx wrote: »

Does the pope **** in the woods

I’m eating my breakfast, Kate.

Roger Hassenforder

Leg End Reject wrote: »

Fair point, but there is still a perception that mothers are "better" at caring for children. Family law generally favours the mother too.

I think its because they generaly are tho.

(Family law notwithstanding! )

badabing106

Leg End Reject wrote: »

After posting in the thread where the genders were reversed, and an earlier conversation, I thought I'd ask for opinions.

I've been in a relationship where this was an issue, and have heard Male friends say they'd feel emasculated.

So is this generally an issue?

I would

mfceiling

Date one?

I'm married to one.

jcorr

I just wouldn't date a woman, period. I'm traumatised for life hahaha

Leg End Reject

jcorr wrote: »

I just wouldn't date a woman, period. I'm traumatised for life hahaha

That'll be because of them sisters.

jaxxx

Just throwing it out there, but there aren't any ladies here looking for fellas who earn considerably less than them?? No?? Alright then.. .. ..

jcorr

Leg End Reject wrote: »

That'll be because of them sisters.

Ah yeah...yeah, that's exactly it....