What age should young adults leave the home?

riclad

Depends on where you live, can you find a place to live,
thats not too expensive, comfortable to live in.
Do you want to save for a deposit for a house, apartment .
Are you working ,.going to college .
Thats part of the housing crisis, theres not enough good quality rental
units for the people who need it.
Student housing is good but its expensive.
Bedsits provided provided a basic place to live for those who wanted
to live close to college or work but they were banned .
Finding a house share is not easy and its not cheap.
and it does not suit everyone .

The simple answer is as soon as you can afford to do so leave .
Theres something special about living in your own space ,
buying your own food, its part of the process of growing up.
And when you go home you appreciate it more .
If you live close to home , or college ,
i understand it may be easier to stay at home for a few years,
If you do so its a good chance to save money for the future.

griffin100

I plan on retiring and moving to the sun when I’m about 60ish. My youngest will be 22 then. If I can afford to keep the house the kids can live in it (whilst paying rent). If I need to sell it they’ll be heading out on their own, but with a few bob each from the sale. That’s the dream anyway.

ChikiChiki

31 and back and home. I'm not renting in that sham of a market. The mother is happy with the company and few bob. Will continue to put a few quid away for a mortgage.

I've rented here and abroad for most of my twenties. It's tough to give up that bit of independence but it's only when I came home and seen the state of the market the best option was back to mammy.

Richard Hillman

I live at home. I am in my early-mid 30s. I have a low paying job and no career prospects.

My options are to live at home, in a tent or live in one of those 27 man squats with some Costa Rican rickshaw drug dealers.

I will never be able to get a mortgage. My friends are all coupled up, so I can't share with friends. Will never find a partner due to my living/earning situation. I pay my way around the house, do all of my own cooking, cleaning etc. And do not cause any problems in the house.

My life situation is ****e, but I'm living here until I get chucked out and have to pick between a fine selection of beaches I can pitch a tent on or a one of those industrial bins. I like the privacy of the bin but the beach is more scenic. Choices

knockers84

Kauai’s just because your on low income doesn’t mean you will never get a woman, my friend is on minimum wage and gets his pick of women, I earn around four times what he gets with my own place and barely any woman will touch me, unless greater than 15 stone

Kamu

Mid-20's and live at home with the folks and sister, and realistically will only leave if I emigrated or when I can afford my own house.

The family are happy to have me here, and for the most part I'm happy to be here.

I pay my share, do all my own chores, get my own food, etc, etc.

Best of all, I live in Dublin City Centre; I'd just be paying ridiculously more, for much, much less.

So long story short, I'm here for the considerable future, and have no issue with it.

SEPT 23 1989

Left home at 20 easy then 200 quid a month

Can’t see my 18 year old leaving until they are in their late 20’s

Which is not right

Not good for them or us

Cee-Jay-Cee

My two daughters can live at home for as long as they want to.

JoeCasey

Spending 300k to run away from your family is quite a trick.
People forget how lucky we all are.

Snickers Man

Out the door by 24.

John_Rambo

I would have been extolling the virtues of independent living at a young age a few years ago, but now, particularly for city dwellers in Ireland the economics of leaving the nest has changed dramatically. The relationship between adult kids and their parents has relaxed too. I hope it's just a hiatus and young adults can soon afford the luxury that I had of independent living at a young age.

However, I do know a few adult couples that take advantage of their parents good will and unconditional love backed up with selfish cliches like "advanced inheritance" coupled with an unwillingness to give up a certain lifestyle to forge ahead with an independent life themselves.

tonycascarino

I am ok myself but hypothetically I would rather stay home until I was 40 and have a decent sum saved up so I could buy my own house, than be stuck like a fool playing the rent game until the end of time with nothing to show for it at the end.

mr_fegelien

Its really interesting cause in America it seems they are quick to ship kids out the door once they are 18. In some cases, I've heard parents kick their kids out at 16 which I thought was illegal unless they are emancipated.

riclad

Theres no magic no, depends on your income, where you work,
rents are a lot lower in rural area,s .
Some people rent a flat, and go home every friday, and go back to dublin
on sunday night .
i think many young people may stay home til they are 25 or longer,
Simply due to the housing crisis and the high cost of rent.

antimatterx

I’m 23, working full time and still live at home. I’ll probably be able to buy a house in Dublin in 2 years, but I don’t particularly want to.

I get on with my parents and brothers, my pets live here, I don’t think my life will be better living without them.

antimatterx

I’m 23, working full time and still live at home. I’ll probably be able to buy a house in Dublin in 2 years, but I don’t particularly want to.

I get on with my parents and brothers, my pets live here, I don’t think my life will be better living without them.

BrokenArrows

Richard Hillman wrote: »

I live at home. I am in my early-mid 30s. I have a low paying job and no career prospects.

My options are to live at home, in a tent or live in one of those 27 man squats with some Costa Rican rickshaw drug dealers.

I will never be able to get a mortgage. My friends are all coupled up, so I can't share with friends. Will never find a partner due to my living/earning situation. I pay my way around the house, do all of my own cooking, cleaning etc. And do not cause any problems in the house.

My life situation is ****e, but I'm living here until I get chucked out and have to pick between a fine selection of beaches I can pitch a tent on or a one of those industrial bins. I like the privacy of the bin but the beach is more scenic. Choices

Do you have any plans to change your career prospects? If not then sort your **** out.

mikeym

If somebody is in their mid to late thirties and hasnt made an effort to save up money to move out definitely needs to consider moving out.

At least if it fails they can at least said they tried instead of being molycoddled.

ILoveYourVibes

Snickers Man wrote: »

Out the door by 24.

25 I think.

Although if they are studying etc I can understand.

Also at some periods of life like after divorce etc or sickness or just in an emotional place then I think they should always have a place to be.

Although I am not going to say everyone has to think this.

If you are 45 and living at home its just my opinion i am not going to hound them etc.

I don't know what is going on with someone.

I used to wonder about a guy who was in his forties living with his mom then i found out he had schizophrenia. I think a lot of the time in these cases there are reasons we don't know.

Richard Hillman

BrokenArrows wrote: »

Do you have any plans to change your career prospects? If not then sort your **** out.

No. I tried it. Went through college, got a degree, spent 5 figures attaining it in college fees, commuted 4-5 hours a day to get to college and nothing came of it.

Herb Powell

I find it totally weird and tbh fairly false how much judgement, etc. there is over this. Life is fuccking weird, and everyone is different. If you live with your parents and get on, who gives a shhit? I know it's great to have to fend for yourself, but the "failure" narrative is just not helpful.

I say this as a mid-20's person who's been living away from the parents for a while, including a year in a different country. The way things are going I could definitely see myself going back for a little while.

sportsfan90

I'm 28 and recently moved back home for work reasons. I lived at home during college as it was only a few minutes away, then I was in several house-shares for 5 years.

I'll admit that I have got a bit lazy in terms of doing my own cooking and washing my own clothes. But I do give my parents €100 a week and usually spend a few evenings or a Saturday helping my dad out on the farm. If I don't have much time to help out, then I increase the money I give them.

My parents have indicated that they'e happy that one of us is back living with them again. It suits us all pretty well at the moment and I get on much better living with them now than when I was a moody teenager. Having said that, I'll probably move out again in the next few months when my work situation is clearer.

RobertKK

My parents gave ownership of the house to myself when I was 20 with a legal requirement they had the right to live their for the rest of their lives.
I never moved out of my home.
I don't see any problem with someone staying where they were reared, whatever age, once it works for everyone.
There is no right or wrong answer to this question.

ILoveYourVibes

Richard Hillman wrote: »

No. I tried it. Went through college, got a degree, spent 5 figures attaining it in college fees, commuted 4-5 hours a day to get to college and nothing came of it.

You will get something eventually.

Cork Trucker

Been living on my own since I was 17

John_Rambo

RobertKK wrote: »

My parents gave ownership of the house to myself when I was 20 with a legal requirement they had the right to live their for the rest of their lives.
I never moved out of my home.
I don't see any problem with someone staying where they were reared, whatever age, once it works for everyone.
There is no right or wrong answer to this question.

I find this fascinating and I'm not being judgmental. Is it a large farmhouse with a holding/farm that you took over with your own family?


(It's unfair to ask without giving my own version) When I was twenty my parents were moving on to their dream home and all four of us were more or less moving on.

the-island-man

I have an 11 month old daughter and the way I feel at the moment I never want her to leave!

In all seriousness my child\children will be always welcome in our home but you'd hope for their own sake that they have a job or are kept busy by something.

Also sorry if I offend anyone but having been to college I'd be really pissed off if they decided to do Arts in college. And I'm not a snobby bastard as I believe a trade is as good as any college course and can be even better but I just think doing 9 - 13 hours of lecturers a week is such a waste of someone's time.

diusmr8a504cvk

In general, about six.

Filmer Paradise

Cork Trucker wrote: »

Been living on my own since I was 17

Really?

I moved out at 36.

My parents got too old to look after me.

Raconteuse

Herb Powell wrote: »

I find it totally weird and tbh fairly false how much judgement, etc. there is over this. Life is fuccking weird, and everyone is different. If you live with your parents and get on, who gives a shhit? I know it's great to have to fend for yourself, but the "failure" narrative is just not helpful.

I say this as a mid-20's person who's been living away from the parents for a while, including a year in a different country. The way things are going I could definitely see myself going back for a little while.

Yeah the immediate assumption is that an adult living with their parents is automatically a manchild/girlwoman - why, necessarily? You could live with your parents, pay towards bills, mortgage/rent, cook, do other household chores, have a busy social life - and a partner whose place you stay in.

And I moved out at 23 and absolutely did not want to move back. Love them - love visiting them, but don't want to live with them! However others are fine with this.

Deebles McBeebles

Elessar wrote: »

I admit that I'm 34 shortly and still living at home. I moved out last year for 6 months to live with the ex girlfriend. Unfortunately we broke up and I moved back home in January this year.

It's a double edged sword tbh. Living at home means meals cooked and the ability to save a lot more. I did check out a few apartments to share in Dublin recently but I'd be looking at €850-1000 per month for rent alone, and that's sharing! At the moment, I'd rather that money going into my savings account. Plus work is literally a 10 minute drive away.

On the other hand, I do feel stuck. I can't really do my own thing as much as I want, can't bring girls home, have to live by the rules etc. I can't really live my life as an adult as such.

I'm still reeling from the breakup if I'm honest, and I'm a bit aimless in life as a result. I'd love more than anything to get back with the ex and start life together again in our own place, but it's not to be. The familiarity of home is probably the best place for me at the moment while I pick up the threads of my old life and let go of the one I had with her.

The danger is I will just get too comfortable and still be here when I'm 40. But without a partner who loves me as much as I do her, it's hard to see a justifiable reason to leave sometimes.

So to answer the question, not 34.

In very much the same boat after a break up but I was living out of home for 15 years :eek:
Man, the shock of moving back.

Edgware

Yes Mother, I know you don't like her but she does nice things to me. Go back into your room Mother

Aisling(",)

I'm 28 and at home. My parents don't mind because I have an early teenage niece that lives with us and I do a lot of the dropping and collecting and they can go away when they want knowing I'll be around for her.

I save 30% of my wage towards a deposit and pay rent at home (not much to be fair) .I'm aiming to buy in the next year and I'm doing my masters which I should finish early 2021 so I'm hoping all my ducks fall into a row.

I'm lucky because I get on well with my parents but I can't afford to save and rent so I'm taking it as it comes.

gibgodsman

Anyone that says 18 is just an idiot, there is no 18 year old in the country that could afford to move out.
There is no certain answer to the question, its realistically when ever they can afford to move out, obviously if they are working and still at home, but not on enough money to move out, they should pay their way even when at home

I was 17 when I moved out, fostered so I was helped out by the state until I was 21, went through college and have rented since 17. Its not easy, but it is possible as long as you avoid Dublin.

If I was to go by the age I was when I was not being helped by the state, 21, but I was far ahead in terms of maturity compared to any of my mates due to the childhood, or lack there of that I had.

BuboBubo

One of my mother's mates was lamenting how she has two adult daughters under her feet squabbling and snapping at each other constantly.

Daughter 1, in her mid 40's, left the husband and the two kids, moved back in with Mammy and Daddy and won't move out because rent is dead money.

Daughter 2, late 30's, never moved out, never had a serious relationship. She always reckoned the family home would be passed down to her so wasn't particularly arßed doing much leaving-wise.

Unfortunately those who have flown the nest might return, some never fly the nest, others might expect free childminding. My own parents are lucky we all vamoosed, and probably pray every single night none of us will rock up a suitcase and a sob story.

stoneill

I no longer have kids, I now own three blokes. And never mind them fleeing the nest, it actually more like an accretion of people as the girlfriends are there more often than not.

LenWoods

I left home when I was 16 moved 197km away, met my partner online lived with her parents for a year then began renting together,
Six years later got a mortgage 286km away from home
19 years away now and rarely go back I'm on 59k per year before tax; have a stay at home wife and three kids,
I think in all I experienced it has made me a better parent,
I have a brother in law whom is the same age as me and still lives at home on his playstation and works In Tesco since leaving school and thinks hes a great lad living it up; on that wage as he pays no rent or Bill's.

Raconteuse

LenWoods wrote: »

I left home when I was 16 moved 197km away, met my partner online lived with her parents for a year then began renting together,
Six years later got a mortgage 286km away from home
19 years away now and rarely go back I'm on 59k per year before tax; have a stay at home wife and three kids,
I think in all I experienced it has made me a better parent,
I have a brother in law whom is the same age as me and still lives at home on his playstation and works In Tesco since leaving school and thinks hes a great lad as he pays no rent or Bill's.

Are you from eastern Europe? (Fair play btw - worked out well; it would be unusual for an Irish person though).

decky1

not sure if it's a question of when they should leave, i certainly would'nt mind them staying if the had the cop on to act like adults and know that 50 euro a week won't feed them and wash clothes + household bills etc, and maybe help around the house,instead of sitting watching tv and playstation etc when they come in from work/collage.

Galwayguy35

I remained at home until my mid 20s but was paying for my upkeep from the time I started working at 18.

If parents are happy for their adult offspring to pay nothing that's their business but I think it's strange that someone wouldn't want to contribute to the household for bed and board.

Raconteuse

Galwayguy35 wrote: »

I remained at home until my mid 20s but was paying for my upkeep from the time I started working at 18.

If parents are happy for their adult offspring to pay nothing that's their business but I think it's strange that someone wouldn't want to contribute to the household for bed and board.

Same here once I started working full-time at 21/22. Paid towards bills and groceries, saved for a car and then moved out at 23. It's not the same at all as being a freeloader.

But I do appreciate that such freeloaders exist. Few and far between I'd say though.

Moved back for a few months after I did a postgrad - while looking for a job/place. Couldn't get out fast enough but still appreciate hugely having that option.

monkeysnapper

As soon as I left school my mother told me to forget college or as we called it in Wales 6th form , go out to work and pay my way ...

My mum brought us up on her own , 2 sisters ( 4 and 5 years older than me )

My oldest sister left at 18 because she met a 30 year old man , got married , 2 kids devorse never came back , hated living at home with my mum.

My other sister stayed a few years and moved to America and never came back , hated living at home ...

when I left school at 16 I got job and at 18 I left home , I couldn't stay there either , my mum would go through your personal stuff , looking for pay slips, shed charge me 20 pound a week even tho I was getting around 35 , at 18 I was getting more and her charges went up to 100 pound a month plus half of all Bill's.

So off I went .... she said as I left at 18 " you'll be back"!!!

2 years later I got on bicycle with tent, sleeping bag ect ect and left Wales on way to fishguard and got on boat , I cycled to cork and back in 10 days and fell in love with Ireland..

2 weeks after i got back i packed my bags , got a lift to fishguard and got on boat , I headed for killarney on bus .

I also got told " you'll be back "

20 years later and I'm married , 3 Irish kids and 2 irish dogs , house ... not bad for a guy with a backpack and bus to the unknown.

Ironically I'm texting this from Wales as I'm over with kids on holiday at my mums .... been here a week ....I cant wait to go back tomorrow, I suppose she was right ,,, I'd be back ....but not for long ...!!!!

Raconteuse

monkeysnapper wrote: »

As soon as I left school my mother told me to forget college or as we called it in Wales 6th form , go out to work and pay my way ...

My mum brought us up on her own , 2 sisters ( 4 and 5 years older than me )

My oldest sister left at 18 because she met a 30 year old man , got married , 2 kids devorse never came back , hated living at home with my mum.

My other sister stayed a few years and moved to America and never came back , hated living at home ...

when I left school at 16 I got job and at 18 I left home , I couldn't stay there either , my mum would go through your personal stuff , looking for pay slips, shed charge me 20 pound a week even tho I was getting around 35 , at 18 I was getting more and her charges went up to 100 pound a month plus half of all Bill's.

So off I went .... she said as I left at 18 " you'll be back"!!!

2 years later I got on bicycle with tent, sleeping bag ect ect and left Wales on way to fishguard and got on boat , I cycled to cork and back in 10 days and fell in love with Ireland..

2 weeks after i got back i packed my bags , got a lift to fishguard and got on boat , I headed for killarney on bus .

I also got told " you'll be back "

20 years later and I'm married , 3 Irish kids and 2 irish dogs , house ... not bad for a guy with a backpack and bus to the unknown.

Ironically I'm texting this from Wales as I'm over with kids on holiday at my mums .... been here a week ....I cant wait to go back tomorrow, I suppose she was right ,,, I'd be back ....but not for long ...!!!!

Fab - love it!

branie2

The minute they turn 18

mr_fegelien

branie2 wrote: »

The minute they turn 18

Serious????

Wesser

24, out the door

andekwarhola

As long as they need to.

They're my kids- I wouldn't have had them if I was counting the days to when I could boot them out.

I moved out first in my early 20s but was sometimes back temporarily, usually between rentals. Bought a place in my early 30s. It was a different world in Dublin in my 20s though, probably the last generation of young people that could afford to be Independent on low to modest incomes.

paleoperson

The idea of getting the kids out of the house is unnatural and a real American thing. Ireland was never like that until Friends and the rest of the American culture hit. Suddenly children living at home until their mid-20s was "omg so uncool like". The normal way of life is to keep kids in the house for as long as possible, especially if it's only one or two that are staying.

ILoveYourVibes

mr_fegelien wrote: »

Serious????

That isn't uncommon. I know in Ireland it is.

But Ireland is unusual.

emo72

Thanks to FFG/LAB I think they'll be living at home forever.