Angry moody wife...help..

The chan chan man

What do I do? She’s somewhat understandably agitated, angry, moody, negative... Wants me to leave because I’m in the way and making things worse Won’t let me hug, talk etc.

Can any women here tell me what I should do? What would you want your partner to do in my shoes?! What can I even do?!

Milly33

Do what she has asked and maybe plan a lads weekend away or just head off for some rnr yourself.. Bring the kids with you if you have them and let her be for well a week or long weekend..

fmpisces

The chan chan man wrote: »

What do I do? She’s somewhat understandably agitated, angry, moody, negative... Wants me to leave because I’m in the way and making things worse Won’t let me hug, talk etc.

Can any women here tell me what I should do? What would you want your partner to do in my shoes?! What can I even do?!

I know this is going to sound crazy, but sometimes when a woman says something in her heart she wants the opposite to happen. Only you know your wife so you're best placed to gauge her feelings/mood/reactions.

Maybe give her a little space but not take off completely. Mad as it sounds, if you do as she's asked she might feel abandoned.

Look, hormones - particularly the elevated levels of ones during pregnancy - can make a woman behave differently than she normally would, say things she normally wouldn't. No one is expecting you to be a mind reader.

Trying to imagine how she is feeling for me is hard since I've not been there, but my advice to you would be to give her a little space but not too much either. I wouldn't advise you to take yourself (and kids, if ye have them) off some place even overnight (unless she directly requests this).

When she seems calmer and willing, try find out where her head is at, by talking with her.

Cash_Q

Pregnancy is an extremely anxious time for many women. Maybe her behaviour is an expression of this anxiety.

Perhaps think about what could be causing her anxiety...

Could it be your current living situation? is there space for baby and all that comes with it? Maybe discuss starting to create space for the cot etc. Are there baby things to be gathered from friends or to be bought? Maybe start doing this.

Maybe she's worried about the pregnancy, maybe suggest you go for a private scan so she can have a look at the baby; we had several throughout the pregnancy and I really found them reassuring.

Pregnancy totally consumed me, I was obsessed whereas I felt my husband could switch on and off his excitement for it, even though he was thrilled from the minute we got a positive test.

Go out of your way to help around the house. Do more than your fair share, she is probably exhausted from the pregnancy whether she is saying so or not. Don't wait to be asked to do things, or offer to do them, just do it.

Sorry if any of that advice is patronising, maybe you do all of the above already, but I definitely felt better when any of the above happened.

Try not to take things she is saying too personally, but at the same time, pregnancy doesn't give her the right to turn against you. If its getting really bad she should discuss it with her doctor or midwife.

Ash.J.Williams

Milly33 wrote: »

Do what she has asked and maybe plan a lads weekend away or just head off for some rnr yourself.. Bring the kids with you if you have them and let her be for well a week or long weekend..

Jaysus don't organize a lads weekend she will say "sh that's a great idea, " and then throw a wobbler

SlowBlowin

The chan chan man wrote: »

What do I do? She’s somewhat understandably agitated, angry, moody, negative... Wants me to leave because I’m in the way and making things worse Won’t let me hug, talk etc.

Can any women here tell me what I should do? What would you want your partner to do in my shoes?! What can I even do?!

Love this post, women hey, can't live with them and can't bury them in the bog without there being some DNA evidence...

No good fighting it, as a man ages the part of your brain that is currently enraged by your wife's actions will wither and die, and you will develop additional skills like sneaking out to the pub and not giving a fcuk.

Peace and love...

Pistachios & cream

In what situations is she telling you that you are in the way? Is this when you offer to help?

Honestly maybe you are but don’t realise it. My husband and I have diffferent levels of tolerance of clutter/mess. He doesn’t see when things are out of place etc. I’d also usually do most of the cooking even though he was always willing to help. Like often if he cooks he will be asking me questions throughout, where is this, do we have that etc. He only wants it to be right but it’s exhausting answering all the questions.

Same when doing a clean up or tidy up, If I have to give detailed instructions then it’s more hassle than it’s worth. Now I’ve come to realise that I need to lower my tolerance in some areas but he also has to be proactive about.

So my advice is be proactive, don’t offer to help just start doing it, look at your house and see what needs to be done and do it. If there’s things you’re not sure about ask her how she likes them done.

Rockiemalt

If her head is anything like my head at the moment I feel theres 1000 things I need to do/ get ready for baby but don’t know where to start and DP can seem a bit oblivious to that at times!

If you think she’d be into it can could you book her in for a nice pregnancy massage or manicure/pedicure type treatment?
Or something simpler is there a favourite takeaway or restaurant she likes and can still eat at the moment, or even just a bunch of flowers and a favourite chocolate bar or sweets or biscuits?

Moonbeam

Mod Note-
This is possibly a genuine question phrased really badly.
Please try to be nice .

Milly33

Helping out too as P&C says and just doing it, not arsing around about it.. Like 3mths to do something so simply.. While ye men are fantastic or partners sometimes it just gets hard when the two of ye are on different levels...Things that either of ye do not find important to yourselfs might just bug the crap out of the other one...

Sit her down ask her for a few things she would like you to take over and do them but continue to do them,without being asked and also do it properly the way she likes it to be done.. Ask no questions just do it..
Especially around pregnancy time, she is as most said probably thinking of a million things and not getting a lot of them done or feeling like she is alone in planning.. After all this just say to her she has a long weekend all to herself and bugger off for a bit