Ultimate Biscuit Tournament (Mod Note Post #1 and #984)

Necro

Green&Red wrote: »

Just read back some of this


Why is there always some d!ckhead that says Jaffa cakes aren’t a biscuit?
ALWAYS

Look at them you blind c**t, they come in a biscuit packet, shaped like a biscuit, they’re a f**king biscuit

Just cause some bellend in England decided to change the rate of VAT on them doesn’t change that

(Sorry I’m late)

Hmmmm... the Wagon Wheels debacle may be forgiven if you continue this fine posting.

I endorse this sentiment wholly.

adox

Omackeral wrote: »

They're not in it. Bumped them for a bag of carrots.

Part of me believes this.

Necro

Omackeral wrote: »

They're not in it. Bumped them for a bag of carrots.

A slice of carrot dipped in a cup of tea never hurt anyone tbf.

Just not in coffee. Never in coffee.

Leg End Reject

See you tomorrow fcukwits, voting better not start til 5, insults better start flying before then. It's like a geriatric afternoon tea or bingo session here, it's missing all the passion and ire that made the crisp tournament beautiful.

Necro

Leg End Reject wrote: »

See you tomorrow fcukwits, voting better not start til 5, insults better start flying before then. It's like a geriatric afternoon tea or bingo session here, it's missing all the passion and ire that made the crisp tournament beautiful.

The main contenders haven't come to the fore yet. Anyone voting against Custard Creams will be subjected to a torrent of hate-filled abuse though.

Necro

Necro wrote: »

The main contenders haven't come to the fore yet. Anyone voting against Custard Creams will be subjected to a torrent of hate-filled abuse though.

Oh oh

Necro

Deleted User wrote: »

Oh oh

adox

Necro wrote: »

The main contenders haven't come to the fore yet. Anyone voting against Custard Creams will be subjected to a torrent of hate-filled abuse though.

Will probably have some cûnt trying to class them as a dessert.

Omackeral

Leg End Reject wrote: »

insults better start flying before then. It's like a geriatric afternoon tea or bingo session here, it's missing all the passion and ire that made the crisp tournament beautiful.

Shut your retarded whore mouth

Green&Red

Necro wrote: »

The main contenders haven't come to the fore yet. Anyone voting against Custard Creams will be subjected to a torrent of hate-filled abuse though.

You’ve lost me here again, any half decent biscuit will beat a custard cream. It’s such a blah, piece of **** of a biscuit that they give out at bingo. Plate of biscuits consists of 17 custard creams, 9 marietta, one pink wafer, one chocolate one and 4 f**king bourbons.
The fat **** has spotted the plate a mile away and is straight in for the chocolate one, the 90 year leans over the plate, c**t takes half an hour to come in but moves like Linford Christie to the plate, hums and haws but we all know she’s going for the pink wafer

The rest of us clowns are left with the rest, so you’ve no option but a custard cream.
If there was a rich tea there I’d nearly take it first, cause I could dunk it, although the tea could be lukewarm, watery piss so even that mightn’t be safe

Deebles McBeebles

Leg End Reject wrote: »

See you tomorrow fcukwits, voting better not start til 5, insults better start flying before then. It's like a geriatric afternoon tea or bingo session here, it's missing all the passion and ire that made the crisp tournament beautiful.

What the f*ck do you think this is? Your diary? Get yourself off to bed, dear. The men will be enjoying a brandy in the parlour.

Leg End Reject

Omackeral wrote: »

Shut your retarded whore mouth

Go fcuk yourself, you half-witted, impotent inbred bastard.

jammiedodgers

Omackeral wrote: »

Jam and Cream are the first casualty of the biscuit war. 8-4 defeat.

Mikado advances.

You're all a bunch of ****. :mad:

Necro

jammiedodgers wrote: »

You're all a bunch of ****. :mad:

Jam and Cream are not jammie dodgers, Jesus you of all people should know that!!

Necro

Green&Red wrote: »

You’ve lost me here again, any half decent biscuit will beat a custard cream. It’s such a blah, piece of **** of a biscuit that they give out at bingo. Plate of biscuits consists of 17 custard creams, 9 marietta, one pink wafer, one chocolate one and 4 f**king bourbons.
The fat **** has spotted the plate a mile away and is straight in for the chocolate one, the 90 year leans over the plate, c**t takes half an hour to come in but moves like Linford Christie to the plate, hums and haws but we all know she’s going for the pink wafer

The rest of us clowns are left with the rest, so you’ve no option but a custard cream.
If there was a rich tea there I’d nearly take it first, cause I could dunk it, although the tea could be lukewarm, watery piss so even that mightn’t be safe

I'd leave them all there for a beautiful plain digestive.

To hell with the fancy sh1te, gimme a dunkin Digestive any day of the week.

Leg End Reject

Deebles McBeebles wrote: »

What the f*ck do you think this is? Your diary? Get yourself off to bed, dear. The men will be enjoying a brandy in the parlour.

That's all you can enjoy you fcuk faced, crusty knobbed piece of sh1t.

Ted_YNWA

Omackeral wrote:

I'd imagine a red card/ban is coming my way after this tournament closes? I'll probably end up thanking you for it though to be honest. I suffered awful after the crisp tournament. Couldn't go the newsagents or supermarket anymore for fear of people shouting ''where's chickatees, put chickatees back in!''. Then I became a recluse but sure the Ice cream man would come around and you'd see the boxes of various crisps through the translucent persex windows of his clapped out custom 97 Transit and it would all begin again.

Comments have been taken in the jest they were intended. You are off the hook for the moment.

Omackeral wrote:

They're not in it. Bumped them for a bag of carrots.

Wait, no chocolate hobnobs. You are back on it.


Instead of a card, your punishment will be to eat only Chickatees and Wagon Wheels for a week.

Green&Red

Necro wrote: »

I'd leave them all there for a beautiful plain digestive.

To hell with the fancy sh1te, gimme a dunkin Digestive any day of the week.

I’d agree

Where would you stand on a chocolate digestive?
McVites obviously

Roger Hassenforder

Badly need Omackaral to come in and sort this shít out.

Can see apple crumble winning it.

cj maxx

Omackeral wrote: »

The wait is nearly over. It's time for the next delicious installment of The Ultimate Tournament: Diabetes Trilogy. We've previously crowned champions in the Ultimate Chocolate Bar Tournament and the Ultimate Crisp Tournament. Now it's time to crown a new King. Scores of biscuits are going to enter the BoardsDome but only one is going to be crowned Ireland's Ultimate Biscuit.

If you haven't participated in one of these yet, I fully encourage you to give it a shot. You'll find yourself getting ridiculously passionate and aggressive about seemingly everyday things. I've had my entire family threatened over Hula Hoops and I don't regret it at all. What we do is have an FA Cup style knockout competition where one snack is pitted against the other and people say why they like what they like or why they hate (and I do mean hate) what they don't. Have a look at the links to the other tournaments above for a taste of what's to come. Also, puns are welcome. Then back here because the first match will be up soon.....

Wft have you kicked off.
I never thought a rich tea or jammie dodger would bring up all these vile nasty emotions in posters.
Bourbon creams for eva

Black Swan

Omackeral wrote: »

Also, puns are welcome.

PUNishment for hands in biscuit jar?

Deebles McBeebles

Leg End Reject wrote: »

That's all you can enjoy you fcuk faced, crusty knobbed piece of sh1t.

Orgasm complete. Night all!

adox

Green&Red wrote: »

I’d agree

Where would you stand on a chocolate digestive?
McVites obviously

In the middle of it?

Omackeral

Deebles McBeebles wrote: »

The men will be enjoying a brandy bourbon in the parlour.

Missed opportunity

Omackeral

Leg End Reject wrote: »

Go fcuk yourself, you half-witted, impotent inbred bastard.

Only 1/3 of that description is true.

normanoffside

You people are a bunch of Neanderthal fcukwits.

What kind of people vote crinkle fcuking crunch into the next round but eliminate wagon wheels?

Tell me how

So, can someone point me in the direction of a summary for the state in play at the moment or am I going to be told to F*ck off and read the 924 posts on the thread to try to get some transparency in to what should be an open and democratic process.

These voting competitions are beset with more shenanigans and manipulation than is currently going on in the House of Commons (which is riveting by the way).

For asking the above question, I half expect to be banned and told I cannot vote.

(P.S. If chocolate Polo have already been eliminated, don't tell me, just go ahead and ban me).

Deebles McBeebles

Deebles McBeebles wrote: »

Can't wait to call someone a drippy c*nt for saying something stupid like "digestives r the best biscuit eva"

Necro wrote: »

I'd leave them all there for a beautiful plain digestive.

You know what you are.

adox

normanoffside wrote: »

You people are a bunch of Neanderthal fcukwits.

What kind of people vote crinkle fcuking crunch into the next round but eliminate wagon wheels?

Iced gems.

Omackeral

Ted_YNWA wrote: »

Instead of a card, your punishment will be to eat only Chickatees and Wagon Wheels for a week.

I'd drink sick through a junkie's sock tbh so that'd be an upgrade.