Chatting up females?

Loafing Oaf

Wibbs wrote: »

Say "hello" and lick your left eyebrow.

Or a slightly more elaborate variant

Leg End Reject

Homeless Guy wrote: »

'Hey, does this smell like chloroform to you?'.

Exactly what you want to hear from a homeless guy.

Loafing Oaf

Kermit.de.frog wrote: »

Anyone else think this thread might go down better in the ladies lounge?

Take it to the source?

They'll all tell you they don't go for chat-up lines and they want guys to have sincere conversations with them.

Milosmith

Loafing Oaf wrote: »

They'll all tell you they don't go for chat-up lines and they want guys to have sincere conversations with them.

Ya but if they want your body

IAMAMORON

Milosmith wrote: »

Somebody grope me quickly

<<snip>>

Ward J. Littell

Ward J. Littell wrote: »

Or Hodor.

Hodor did say Hodor quite alot to be fair

BorneTobyWilde

Just give them a head massage, that will turn them to butter.

Most of my meetings with the fairer sex involve being in places together as part of a group, they're friends of friends, or people who i see regularly and as such, you don't really ask them out as such, it tends to just happen. Also, the interwebs.

However, I was in Ikea the other day, and seen a girl (Ikea employee) who was class looking. I've never actually approached someone and asked them out. But I was seriously tempted this time. I didn't do it, but it made me wonder - is it bad form to do it when someone's at work? or is it okay so long as they work in a place like ikea (where they're on their own a lot, so you can talk one to one, rather than a place like a Penneys customer service desk when they may be surrounded by co-workers)?


Also, does it work to say hello, and just quickly explain that you're aware you're making a cnut of yourself, but you think they look amazing and can't help but make an effort to say hello? Or is honesty just a bit dated at this stage?

IAMAMORON

[Deleted User] wrote: »

Most of my meetings with the fairer sex involve being in places together as part of a group, they're friends of friends, or people who i see regularly and as such, you don't really ask them out as such, it tends to just happen. Also, the interwebs.

However, I was in Ikea the other day, and seen a girl (Ikea employee) who was class looking. I've never actually approached someone and asked them out. But I was seriously tempted this time. I didn't do it, but it made me wonder - is it bad form to do it when someone's at work? or is it okay so long as they work in a place like ikea (where they're on their own a lot, so you can talk one to one, rather than a place like a Penneys customer service desk when they may be surrounded by co-workers)?


Also, does it work to say hello, and just quickly explain that you're aware you're making a cnut of yourself, but you think they look amazing and can't help but make an effort to say hello? Or is honesty just a bit dated at this stage?

Random street crushes are very grey areas. You need to be super attractive and seem very normal and friendly.

Most birds will be freaked out by a random approach, whatever you do ... don't grope them, not at this point.

Gekko

This is an old school one that my Dad used to laugh about.

He’d go up to a woman and ask her “Who’s good looking and whistles?”

Then if she responded “I don’t know,” he’d start whistling a tune 🤣

Never tried it myself. But it’s simple, a bit cheesy, but not sleazy and she might smile or laugh

Ted_YNWA

IAMMORAN please don't make light of groping. Posts deleted

KathleenGrant

Leg End Reject wrote: »

I'd rather see someone ****, than winking.

Winking is seriously into creepy, lecherous territory. Not saying **** in a bar is normal, but at least there's no pretence of charm there.

Winking is hardly as creepy as some of the chat up lines here. The smile definitely works for me and I would probably make a move and chat them up if a man had a nice smile.

Feisar

IAMAMORON wrote: »

Random street crushes are very grey areas. You need to be super attractive and seem very normal and friendly.

Most birds will be freaked out by a random approach, whatever you do ... don't grope them, not at this point.

Random approaches don't work in Ireland, well in my experience they don't.

PsychoPete

Feisar wrote: »

Random approaches don't work in Ireland, well in my experience they don't.

Depends if your good looking or not

Feisar

PsychoPete wrote: »

Depends if your good looking or not

No, it's just not the done thing here. I'm drop dead gorgeous and it never worked for me.

IAMAMORON

Feisar wrote: »

Random approaches don't work in Ireland, well in my experience they don't.

Try it on Wexford street at 2 o'clock on a Sunday morning. Believe.

PeteTown

Deleted User wrote: »

Most of my meetings with the fairer sex involve being in places together as part of a group, they're friends of friends, or people who i see regularly and as such, you don't really ask them out as such, it tends to just happen. Also, the interwebs.

However, I was in Ikea the other day, and seen a girl (Ikea employee) who was class looking. I've never actually approached someone and asked them out. But I was seriously tempted this time. I didn't do it, but it made me wonder - is it bad form to do it when someone's at work?

It's something I have always wondered about, and something I always will wonder about.

If I fail to approach, I will wonder what if forever more. If I approach and by chance it goes badly I will wonder how much of an idiot I actually am. If I approach and it goes good, I will think I'm a brave genius who finally figured it out!

IAMAMORON

Ask them if they are the girl from the advertisement in the cinema.

Don't grope them however.

PeteTown

Kermit.de.frog wrote: »

Anyone else think this thread might go down better in the ladies lounge?

Take it to the source?

That's like asking a gazelle what's the best way to hunt it.

Deleted User

Deleted User wrote: »

Most of my meetings with the fairer sex involve being in places together as part of a group, they're friends of friends, or people who i see regularly and as such, you don't really ask them out as such, it tends to just happen. Also, the interwebs.

However, I was in Ikea the other day, and seen a girl (Ikea employee) who was class looking. I've never actually approached someone and asked them out. But I was seriously tempted this time. I didn't do it, but it made me wonder - is it bad form to do it when someone's at work? or is it okay so long as they work in a place like ikea (where they're on their own a lot, so you can talk one to one, rather than a place like a Penneys customer service desk when they may be surrounded by co-workers)?


Also, does it work to say hello, and just quickly explain that you're aware you're making a cnut of yourself, but you think they look amazing and can't help but make an effort to say hello? Or is honesty just a bit dated at this stage?

i don't think it's ok at work. they have stuff to be getting on with and they are in a compromised position in that they can't tell a customer who gets too much, to f off. of course you'll think - but i'm not too much! - but nobody ever does, and even if you aren't, plenty might have been already. they'll probably have to be polite regardless and 50 other people could have had the same plan.
no harm maybe saying a one line and giving them your number then leaving again straight away, so they know there's no obligation or politeness required

Anus Von Skidmark

"You look like you'd take a length."

jimgoose

Look atcha there, fine hould of a woman. You'd give a squeezed bullock the horn, so y'would!

Ragnar Lothbrok

Lads, ye're all missing the obvious. Stick a tenner on the Euromills and wait for the €190 million jackpot to come your way on Friday evening.

Guaranteed to make you irresistible to women, men, beasts of the field or creatures of the sea, without having to resort to cheesy chat up lines.

And get this - you don't even have to be remotely attractive or have good personal hygiene.

Apiarist

Ragnar Lothbrok wrote: »

Lads, ye're all missing the obvious. Stick a tenner on the Euromills and wait for the €190 million jackpot to come your way on Friday evening....

py2006

In some other countries it is quite normal for a guy to start chatting to a girl (with a view to asking her out) and not necessarily in bars etc.

It doesn't usually work here.

Kermit.de.frog

jimgoose wrote: »

Look atcha there, fine hould of a woman. You'd give a squeezed bullock the horn, so y'would!

Get back on the picket line farmer.

jimgoose

Kermit.de.frog wrote: »

Get back on the picket line farmer.

On me lunch-hour I am, grabbin' a bit of arse. :cool:

randd1

"Hey baby, any chance I can tickle your belly button? From the inside?"

As a line, it just doesn't work.

Feisar

randd1 wrote: »

"Hey baby, any chance I can tickle your belly button? From the inside?"

As a line, it just doesn't work.

It's up there with, "how's yer belly for a lodger?".

Boom_Bap

Feisar wrote: »

It's up there with, "how's yer belly for a lodger?".

"fancy going halves on a bastard?"

YFlyer

Leg End Reject wrote: »

Exactly what you want to hear from a homeless guy.

That be urea.

ToddyDoody

Learn from the peacock.

https://www.sciencemag.org/news/2018/11/watch-peacock-get-female-s-attention-making-her-head-vibrate

Edgware

I hope you're better than your sister

Leg End Reject

Edgware wrote: »

I hope you're better than your sister

Could be very successful if there's sibling rivalry.

Mango Joe

I've found out through years of experience chatting up females that its best to cry a little bit at the start.....

Then when they react by extending sympathies and comfort you it's time to letch aggressively until the whole emotional rollercoaster leads inevitably to the bedroom.

Anus Von Skidmark

Mango Joe wrote: »

I've found out through years of experience chatting up females that its best to cry a little bit at the start.....

Then when they react by extending sympathies and comfort you it's time to letch aggressively until the whole emotional rollercoaster leads inevitably to the bedroom.

A pity shag is still a shag, after all.

Greyfox

py2006 wrote: »

In some other countries it is quite normal for a guy to start chatting to a girl (with a view to asking her out) and not necessarily in bars etc.

It doesn't usually work here.

It does work, you just need to do it before your drunk and only teenagers use chat up lines

the.red.baron

Kermit


I think you've just shown this is not the place to be looking for chat up lines or love advice


People are just being smart arses cause they don't have an answer for ya themselves


You'd be better off doing this at Comicon or the like

ebbsy

Do you know what drives me nuts ?


The steering wheel in me trousers.

ILoveYourVibes

I want to buy you dinner ..i just need to save up a few weeks.

stateofflux

you have a lovely pair of....shoes

Leg End Reject

stateofflux wrote: »

you have a lovely pair of....shoes

While staring at her chest.

Never fails.

Earthhorse

Are women wearing shoes on their boobs now?

Honestly it’s impossible to keep up.

EmmetSpiceland

Leg End Reject wrote: »

While staring at her chest.

Never fails.

Much better than asking her “have you seen my new shoes?”. Bordering, heavily, on sex pestery.

Redneck Reject

ILoveYourVibes wrote: »

I want to buy you dinner ..i just need to save up a few weeks.

I can wait,heh.

Leg End Reject

Redneck Reject wrote: »

I can wait,heh.

Smooth, Red. :pac:

BDI

Hang around outside the veg shop. Wait for a girl to come out with a bag of round shaped fruit or veg. Bump into her and make it look like an accident.

Help her pick them up and explain to her you are sorry and how you are looking to go to a costume party.

When you get to the last round shaped fruit or veg pretend to grab her hand by mistake but hold it a little longer than you should then apologize again.

When you both stand up you will realize you are both wearing the same costume and both going to the same costume party.

Jonybgud

BDI wrote: »

Hang around outside the veg shop. Wait for a girl to come out with a bag of round shaped fruit or veg. Bump into her and make it look like an accident.

Help her pick them up and explain to her you are sorry and how you are looking to go to a costume party.

When you get to the last round shaped fruit or veg pretend to grab her hand by mistake but hold it a little longer than you should then apologize again.

When you both stand up you will realize you are both wearing the same costume and both going to the same costume party.

A vag shop!

I suppose that makes it easier..

BDI

Jonybgud wrote: »

A vag shop!

I suppose that makes it easier..

Nah only lesbians would shop in a vag shop.

Jonybgud

BDI wrote: »

Nah only lesbians would shop in a vag shop.

Why that holier than thou attitude?