To Creche or Not to Creche - Again

Kintarō Hattori

The missus and I tried putting our 2.4 year old into creche again recently and it hasn't been working. The first week she went in for 3 days with 1 hour each. It went alright but this second week has been a disaster. She's known where she was going when getting in the car and when getting out to go to the creche it's been impossible for my partner to get her inside for 2 days out of the 3.

A little backstory might be required so:

Our little girl had low muscle tone when she was born so required physiotherapy and was late to crawl and late to walk being at the limit of the time frame you'd expect. We tried her in creche before she started crawling but it was an unmitigated disaster and we took her out after a week. As a child she was quite timid and shy at the time and wherever she was put down she couldn't move from which must have been unnerving.

Fast forward now to 2 years and 4 months and she's a super sweet child. Running around, climbing all over the furniture, much much better with people and intelligent as heck. She has a severe speech delay so outside of ourselves it would be hard for people to understand exactly what it is that she might be communicating to them, which could lead to frustration.
She's a very gentle little lady whom we seem to have a wonderful bond with. With a history there of low muscle tone, the speech delay and her gentle nature we're worried about dishing out 'tough love' to her and pushing creche on her. We think maybe she's just not ready for it. At home she doesn't always get what she wants. We're not afraid to say no and treats like bars and TV have limits but we're also lucky in that she's an easy child to manage so when you state clearly that something shouldn't be done or that's the last one, she doesn't really kick up a fuss.

What are people's thoughts?

shesty

Do you need her to be in a creche?Are you both working?

iamwhoiam

Who looks after her now ? Does she need to go to creche ??

Princess Calla

Would a childminder work?

Are there parent and toddler groups you could bring her to get socialising with other children but with a parent close by for security.


I'd be definitely aiming to get her ready for her ecce scheme place though, as my fear would be she falls behind in mainstream school.

Kintarō Hattori

shesty wrote: »

Do you need her to be in a creche?Are you both working?

Not exactly. We feel it'd be good for her development to be around other kids. We do both work but we manage it in a way that works for us.

iamwhoiam wrote: »

Who looks after her now ? Does she need to go to creche ??

I work full time and my partner part time. We look after her ourselves. Several times a week I'll come home from work early and my partner will go to work in the evenings.

Princess Calla wrote: »

Would a childminder work?

Are there parent and toddler groups you could bring her to get socialising with other children but with a parent close by for security.

I'd be definitely aiming to get her ready for her ecce scheme place though, as my fear would be she falls behind in mainstream school.

A childminder might very well work but we had thought creche would be a good idea, mixing with kids her own age, learning how to interact with them etc.
There are indeed parent and toddler groups and my partner had been bringing her there. Your last point is a very good one, we felt creche would give some nice social skills, structure etc.

iamwhoiam

In that case if she doesn’t need to go to creche I would hold off sending her . When she is in the ECCE scheme then there are plenty of small pre schools not based in a creche . She might be more comfortable in a smaller setting with a structured day and familiarity .

jlm29

My kids go to a childminder. There’s other kids their own age there, but it’s a different setting and in someone’s home, so it’s a fairly good balance. If you could find a minder like that it sounds like it might be a good starting place. That said, if you don’t need her to go, then it’s not the end of the world, she will probably start ecce next year?
As someone said, mother and toddler groups might be worth exploring

CheerLouth

Could it just be, if she has been at home with you both all the time, that this is just the normal settling in period? I know it's awful & you feel terrible leaving her if she is upset, but she might settle once she is used to it & knows the creche minders better.

Have the creche given any indication of how she is once she has been left & the normal creche day begins?

TheShow

Normally they give out like heck getting to the door and then once they're in there and you're gone, they get back to normal and get on with it.

You little girl sounds wonderful and I'm sure she is just scared of the big creche with all the other kids which takes her out of her comfort/safe zone.

If it was me, I would persevere for another week or two, she will eventually acclimatise. Are there any toys etc at home that you could bring to Creche so she has a sense of familiarity perhaps?

Maybe make a game of going to creche in the morning so she thinks of it as fun?

Its not easy seeing your kid get into a state and being scared, but they do adjust to it.

shesty

I would actually take the opposite view OP.She is what....a May baby? My eldest is a June baby,my second is an April.Both started ECCE age three and a few months.They weren't ready til they were three.They were with a minder, just themselves and just out and about in the town in the shops and that, and that was enough.They don't really play with each other at her age, just around each other.If it is too distressing for her and you can manage, I would continue with playdates, and toddler groups, and when next Sept comes round, she will be more ready for the group setting.I wouldn't get hung up on socialising her to be honest because age does more for that than anything.Have faith in her, she is still very small and it will all come with time.Maybe if you are really pushed, leave it now til Jan, and try a morning a week for starters.Or else I would really suggest a good minder.First step would be to get her used to someone else minding her, the socialising can come afterwards.

Princess Calla

Kintarō Hattori wrote: »

Not exactly. We feel it'd be good for her development to be around other kids. We do both work but we manage it in a way that works for us.



I work full time and my partner part time. We look after her ourselves. Several times a week I'll come home from work early and my partner will go to work in the evenings.



A childminder might very well work but we had thought creche would be a good idea, mixing with kids her own age, learning how to interact with them etc.
There are indeed parent and toddler groups and my partner had been bringing her there. Your last point is a very good one, we felt creche would give some nice social skills, structure etc.

We were on the same thought process regarding a childminder.

However I was returning to work fulltime so while there were tears at the start we persevered and they settled down. Mine also had a rough start to life. I would wait and peak in the window after a couple of minutes and 9/10 they were off doing their own thing, I was a distant memory.

I can understand the wavering as it's not a necessity.

If you decide not to return her to crèche I would be firm with her when starting the ecce scheme.

jlm29

Princess Calla wrote: »

If you decide not to return her to crèche I would be firm with her when starting the ecce scheme.

I would have agreed with you on this previously, but the ecce scheme starts very early for some kids since they changed it around, depending on birthday. 2 and 9 mo is very young I think. I tried to start my little guy in April (he was 3 since December), and he just wasn’t ready. We had to give up on it, but he started no bother a few weeks ago.

Princess Calla

jlm29 wrote: »

I would have agreed with you on this previously, but the ecce scheme starts very early for some kids since they changed it around, depending on birthday. 2 and 9 mo is very young I think. I tried to start my little guy in April (he was 3 since December), and he just wasn’t ready. We had to give up on it, but he started no bother a few weeks ago.

Yes agreed that is young, mine was over 3 starting so I made an assumption in my head every child would be the same.