Why are most families houses and lives in a mess???

freshpopcorn

Graces7 wrote: »

Not meaning squeaky clean and totally tidy. One friend I used to know had three girls, 6- 12, and they had completely invaded the whole downstairs. No room to walk in the hall; every seat in the sitting room piled with toys as was the floor. Just extremes. I got used to clearing part of a chair to perch on. There was no way they could find anything. That had stopped mattering

I am very untidy but curb it with boxes and containers. As my mother taught me. And always we had to remove stuff from the living room and kitchen .

Well going by the OP they don't seem to like boxes of stuff in the container. So, I'd doubt your house would cut it for them.

brevity

I thought this was interesting...

https://twitter.com/Silent0siris/status/1170261309046370304?s=20

Mango Joe

I'm incredibly interested to see the Hello Magazine photoshoot from Tickers house.

I'm presuming its all marvellously feng shui with rose petals strewn beautifully over hand-crafted, bespoke patterned walnut flooring in the foyer, with decor and furnishings of an exquisite and breathtaking standard throughout the living and sleeping chambers.

I'm sure it goes without saying that Ticker and their partner have been sterilised so as to preserve the sanctity of their homestead.

v638sg7k1a92bx

freshpopcorn wrote: »

Well going by the OP they don't seem to like boxes of stuff in the container. So, I'd doubt your house would cut it for them.

Correct, boxes are just a lazy way of hiding stuff you don't need. There are some people on this thread who really need to sort out their lives. You can tell the people protesting the most have the dirtiest houses.

Zubeneschamali

Gunnar Shrilling Saint wrote: »

There are some people on this thread who really need to sort out their lives.

At least person, anyhow.

Graces7

freshpopcorn wrote: »

Well going by the OP they don't seem to like boxes of stuff in the container. So, I'd doubt your house would cut it for them.

Had to go back and check the OP!

Ah no; I am a knitter and a crafter and store yarn etc in crates. By colour... Rather than freeflow tangles... Also where I live there is almost zero storage space so crates etc are a vital resource, neatly under the table and invisible!

Graces7

Gunnar Shrilling Saint wrote: »

Correct, boxes are just a lazy way of hiding stuff you don't need. There are some people on this thread who really need to sort out their lives. You can tell the people protesting the most have the dirtiest houses.

Incorrect! My workroom is immaculate and all is organised and to hand. There are boxes... and BOXES!

why not hop over and see?

Graces7

Mango Joe wrote: »

I'm incredibly interested to see the Hello Magazine photoshoot from Tickers house.

I'm presuming its all marvellously feng shui with rose petals strewn beautifully over hand-crafted, bespoke patterned walnut flooring in the foyer, with decor and furnishings of an exquisite and breathtaking standard throughout the living and sleeping chambers.

I'm sure it goes without saying that Ticker and their partner have been sterilised so as to preserve the sanctity of their homestead.

:eek:

v638sg7k1a92bx

Graces7 wrote: »

Incorrect! My workroom is immaculate and all is organised and to hand. There are boxes... and BOXES!

why not hop over and see?

Do I have to take my shoes off at the door?

jam_mac_jam

Graces7 wrote: »

Incorrect! My workroom is immaculate and all is organised and to hand. There are boxes... and BOXES!

why not hop over and see?

I agree with you. Some things are better in boxes and it can be very neat.

pq0n1ct4ve8zf5

I'm just remembering the time I was about five, my sister three. One morning my parents were getting us all out the door to drop us to the childminder on their way to work. My mam in the front pulling my sister's coat on and stuffing lunches into bags, my dad bringing up the rear, carrying a bowl of pedigree chum to leave for the dog. One of those mornings where you've been up for 45 minutes and you're somehow an hour behind already.

Anyways, my dad tripped over some toys left by the front door, braced himself against the wall so as not to land on top of me and my sister, consequently letting go of the bowl of dog food. Which did a neat half turn sailing through the air, and landed upside down on my head. Big old chunks of cow rectum and gravy all in my hair, running down my face.

My dad actually had to sit down on the front step from laughing, which started my sister laughing, which started me crying, my mam scooped me up under her arm and ran to stick my head under the shower.

I dunno, most of my nicest, funniest childhood memories involve mess or chaos or disorder of some sort. My parents were loving, hardworking, involved parents who raised us well. It's not like it would have been IMPOSSIBLE to keep a clean tidy organised house and life but it just wasn't a priority for them at that time, they'd have made themselves miserable just to keep to other people's standards.

I know a few parents who are the type of people who get stressed out by mess, so for them they're happier people and better parents keeping things neat. Other people don't care so they don't, in one of the busiest periods of their lives, when their children are growing in front of their eyes, when they can't remember what a lie in is, bother their arses with something that's not important to them for the sake of not offending the sensibilities of people who are not at impacted by the state of their house.

Graces7

Gunnar Shrilling Saint wrote: »

Do I have to take my shoes off at the door?

wellies, yes of course... . remote rural island!

Graces7

Giselle Grumpy Pup wrote: »

I'm just remembering the time I was about five, my sister three. One morning my parents were getting us all out the door to drop us to the childminder on their way to work. My mam in the front pulling my sister's coat on and stuffing lunches into bags, my dad bringing up the rear, carrying a bowl of pedigree chum to leave for the dog. One of those mornings where you've been up for 45 minutes and you're somehow an hour behind already.

Anyways, my dad tripped over some toys left by the front door, braced himself against the wall so as not to land on top of me and my sister, consequently letting go of the bowl of dog food. Which did a neat half turn sailing through the air, and landed upside down on my head. Big old chunks of cow rectum and gravy all in my hair, running down my face.

My dad actually had to sit down on the front step from laughing, which started my sister laughing, which started me crying, my mam scooped me up under her arm and ran to stick my head under the shower.

I dunno, most of my nicest, funniest childhood memories involve mess or chaos or disorder of some sort. My parents were loving, hardworking, involved parents who raised us well. It's not like it would have been IMPOSSIBLE to keep a clean tidy organised house and life but it just wasn't a priority for them at that time, they'd have made themselves miserable just to keep to other people's standards.

I know a few parents who are the type of people who get stressed out by mess, so for them they're happier people and better parents keeping things neat. Other people don't care so they don't, in one of the busiest periods of their lives, when their children are growing in front of their eyes, when they can't remember what a lie in is, bother their arses with something that's not important to them for the sake of not offending the sensibilities of people who are not at impacted by the state of their house.

Lovely evocative post! Home is home is home. A comfort not a tyranny.

Because Enid Blyton and her series of children s books are mostly forgotten. A vague memory in the mind of some thirty something mums and dads and that's all.

Ditto with Ladybird books, remember "Peter and Jane?"

BrokenArrows

Gunnar Shrilling Saint wrote: »

I’ve had the pleasure of being invited to several homes of young families recently and by young I mean new parents in their late 30’s and 40’s...

I’m aghast at how much crap people accumulate in their homes! Ikea boxes full of kids toys shoved in corners. My experience is limited to Dublin where all the “young” families with their delusions of grandeur want to live in the south east part of Dublin in houses they can barely afford all the while their lives are in chaos with plastic toys strewn everywhere, both working, 2 cars, hand-balling kids, 9 - 5, dinner Seriously, one of the parents needs to stay home and organise their lives.

If one tried to stay at home then there probably wouldn't be a home or toys to begin with.

ytpe2r5bxkn0c1

Tidying the house while the kids are growing
Is like shovelling snow while it's still snowing.


There's a happy medium. A house has to be a home and each to their own when it comes to how 'tidy' it is.

iamwhoiam

Grandchildren just left from here . House was upended with a fort made of cushions in one room and playmobil in another and crumbs all over the kitchen floor . They left and it was tidied in 7 minutes , all back to its former glory . Can’t wait for it to be upended again very soon

Gunnar Shrilling Saint

Gunnar Shrilling Saint wrote: »

Correct, boxes are just a lazy way of hiding stuff you don't need. There are some people on this thread who really need to sort out their lives. You can tell the people protesting the most have the dirtiest houses.

I'm sure most people on this thread have their lives sorted out. Your problem seems to be with them not having their houses sorted, which is much lower on the list of priorities for some.

jam_mac_jam

iamwhoiam wrote: »

Grandchildren just left from here . House was upended with a fort made of cushions in one room and playmobil in another and crumbs all over the kitchen floor . They left and it was tidied in 7 minutes , all back to its former glory . Can’t wait for it to be upended again very soon

aw forts... my son used to make forts constantly, this thread is getting me all nostalgic for kid mess.

Cantona's Collars

Javion Rough Llama wrote: »

Tidying the house while the kids are growing
Is like shovelling snow while it's still snowing.


There's a happy medium. A house has to be a home and each to their own when it comes to how 'tidy' it is.

My kids are like a mixture or a tornado and a tsunami,you have everything neat and tidy then BOOM!! they have the place ripped apart in minutes.
I have friends and neighbours who stress over having their homes in showhouse condition and their kids aren't allowed to enjoy their own homes.
Constantly running around with cleaning products and touching up paint on walls because junior touched them. May as well pitch a tent in the garden and look in at their pristine home that they can't enjoy living in for fear of dirtying it.

Lillyfae

iamwhoiam wrote: »

Grandchildren just left from here . House was upended with a fort made of cushions in one room and playmobil in another and crumbs all over the kitchen floor . They left and it was tidied in 7 minutes , all back to its former glory . Can’t wait for it to be upended again very soon

That's the thing, she loves having pretend picnics with the dog so there are mostly blankets, cushions, various things from her kitchen and teddies all over the floor when she's up- I'm not tidying around her when she's playing but when she's done we clear up and it only takes 5 minutes. It's just not like that all day every day.

Raconteuse

whisky_galore wrote: »

Nothing worse than a house that looks like a bomb slammed into a branch of Smyths Toys, half sucked sweets and dirty clothes thrown into the mix.

There are actually many many things worse than it.

Hector Savage

Gregor Samsa wrote: »

My house is a fücking mess. 3 kids. Two six year olds will just make absolute ****e of your house. Given my experience with their older sister, I’m hoping that by the time they’re 10 things will settle down a bit. I’m in the kitchen at the moment. There’s 4 bikes and two dismantled bunk beds sitting here, surrounded by school bags, doll buggies, runners swimming gear and a musical keyboard. I can barely see any of the surface of the dining room table. The living room is full of toys. There’s an entire bedroom upstairs I can’t get into because of stuff.

It’s called life. It’s a quarter to one in the morning, and I’m just finished making the lunches. I’m up at 7 tomorrow - I mean today All day was in work. Once I got home, between bringing them to football, doing the shopping, helping with their homework, cooking dinner and having a bit of time to play with them before getting them to bed, there’s been no time to sit down. once they went to bed, I did washing and some tidying. posted once or twice on Boards just as a distraction between chores. My wife was at a meeting all day in Dublin, and once she got back back she had to visit her sick mother in hospital 40km away, so that was her evening gone. I spent all last week abroad for work, while she spent most of it in both Limerick and Cork hospitals with her mother.

So yeah, the fücking house is a mess. If any cünt wants to judge me for it, they can fück right off.

Why haven't you killed yourself yet ?

Gregor Samsa

Hector Savage wrote: »

Why haven't you killed yourself yet ?

Huh? Why do you suppose I'd kill myself? Because I have to make lunches for thee small children at night? Because I'm holding the fort while my wife cares for her sick mother?

If stuff like that makes you think of throwing in the towel, you're in for a rough ride when you grow up.

ceadaoin.

My house isnt a mess despite having a child, but only because we have lots of storage and there is a playroom where all the toys and crap can go. There is a place for everything. Built in and sufficient storage areas is something most irish homes lack IMO.

when they are babies and toddlers it's impossible to keep the living areas free of any trace of them though. And why should there be no trace of them when they are family members living in the home?

Hector Savage

Gregor Samsa wrote: »

Huh? Why do you suppose I'd kill myself? Because I have to make lunches for thee small children at night? Because I'm holding the fort while my wife cares for her sick mother?

If stuff like that makes you think of throwing in the towel, you're in for a rough ride when you grow up.

Relax pal, it's a joke, I have 2 myself and it's stressful - thats the joke, I can relate!

Gregor Samsa

Hector Savage wrote: »

Relax pal, it's a joke, I have 2 myself and it's stressful - thats the joke, I can relate!

Ah, I'm only buzzin' off yer mallet.

The reason I haven't killed myself is that I can't find the rope in all the mess.

Hector Savage

Gregor Samsa wrote: »

Ah, I'm only buzzin' off yer mallet.

The reason I haven't killed myself is that I can't find the rope in all the mess.

Its gotten to the stage I only clean up the living room floor once a week as the 3 year old just upends boxes of his toy cars the very next morning ..

JupiterKid

Well, I don’t have children or pets so my apartment is quite easy to keep tidy and clean - hoover the floors twice a week, wash up dishes and pots daily, laundry every few days, clean kitchen, bathroom as I go etc.

But children make a house messy - especially young children. That’s just a fact of life. A house or apartment that is in a sterile showhouse pristine condition is not a home. It’s not properly lived in, it’s not a home.

What’s the poing of frantically cleaning up after children and pets 24/7? That is not a life. I like my place to be neat and tidy and importantly, hygienically clean but it’s far from perfect. My bookshelves are overflowing and I have a clutter of paperwork on my dining table. But it’s cozy and lived in and it’s my home.

I doubt the people the OP is attacking really care of what he thinks of their homes. Life is way too short to be worrying about what others may think of the state of one’s home.

NSAman

Earthsnotflat wrote: »

What I mean is that it is not that simple for everybody or all the time to achieve this connection between want and do. What I am opposed to is the very simplistic way of dividing people between those who want clean house and have it and those messy kind that live in chaos because they choose to. If you feel better in comparison just have in mind the outcome you see is neither all to your credit if it's good or someone else's fault if it looks bad to you. You never know what tomorrow will be like, maybe you too will be in place of someone living in mess not of you choosing and unable to keep up on top all the time. Who chooses to live in chaos on purpose? I think that's the whole point, if some manage their mess better then others thats very well, but don't feel superior by thinking that other just must like this mess , they probably not

Its not feeling superior. Its time and priority management. I choose to live in a clean environment that takes time to do. Others not so much, thats fine too.

Everyone has their own way of living and while I choose the OCD way, which means many hours a week cleaning, that is my choice.

I had to laugh a few years ago, I have an apartment in Dublin which again is maintained and immaculate. My neighbours (two nurses) called at the door asking for help with their heating. I showed them how the heating controls worked and they thanked me and invited me in for coffee.

They also asked me who my cleaning lady was. I said I dont have one, I do it myself.

When I went in for coffee I could see why they asked about the cleaner. There Ladies were MESSY, wanted to live in a clean environment but were not willing to do the work necessary.

I can understand parents with kids having an untidy house perfectly, kids take time and NEED to play they have to have time and never would I say a parent is lazy.

Two ladies who wanted someone else to clean up after them though, yet were able to go out socialising for hours on end... thats called lazy.

kyote00

I nominate you.

If you could call around between 3-5 each day to tidy up - that would be great.

Gunnar Shrilling Saint wrote: »

Seriously, one of the parents needs to stay home and organise their lives.

bottlebrush

SEPT 23 1989 wrote: »

but in a tidy house you would never have the joy of stepping on Thomas the tank engine barefoot, hungover causing one to fall over a coffee table at 7am on a Sunday morning

And don't forget the pieces of leggo

anewme

NSAman wrote: »

Earthsnotflat wrote: »

What I mean is that it is not that simple for everybody or all the time to achieve this connection between want and do. What I am opposed to is the very simplistic way of dividing people between those who want clean house and have it and those messy kind that live in chaos because they choose to. If you feel better in comparison just have in mind the outcome you see is neither all to your credit if it's good or someone else's fault if it looks bad to you. You never know what tomorrow will be like, maybe you too will be in place of someone living in mess not of you choosing and unable to keep up on top all the time. Who chooses to live in chaos on purpose? I think that's the whole point, if some manage their mess better then others thats very well, but don't feel superior by thinking that other just must like this mess , they probably not

Its not feeling superior. Its time and priority management. I choose to live in a clean environment that takes time to do. Others not so much, thats fine too.

Everyone has their own way of living and while I choose the OCD way, which means many hours a week cleaning, that is my choice.

I had to laugh a few years ago, I have an apartment in Dublin which again is maintained and immaculate. My neighbours (two nurses) called at the door asking for help with their heating. I showed them how the heating controls worked and they thanked me and invited me in for coffee.

They also asked me who my cleaning lady was. I said I dont have one, I do it myself.

When I went in for coffee I could see why they asked about the cleaner. There Ladies were MESSY, wanted to live in a clean environment but were not willing to do the work necessary.

I can understand parents with kids having an untidy house perfectly, kids take time and NEED to play they have to have time and never would I say a parent is lazy.

Two ladies who wanted someone else to clean up after them though, yet were able to go out socialising for hours on end... thats called lazy.

Very unfair.

Lazy is not the term I'd use to describe people who work as Nurses. They do a difficult and challenging job, which I'd be no way able for.

If they want to socialise out of hours, more power to them. If they want to have a cleaner to allow them more down time, then again that's their choice.

Because cleaning is not their priority for their time off, that's their perrogative.

Rezident

Gunnar Shrilling Saint wrote: »

I’ve had the pleasure of being invited to several homes of young families recently and by young I mean new parents in their late 30’s and 40’s...

I’m aghast at how much crap people accumulate in their homes! Ikea boxes full of kids toys shoved in corners. My experience is limited to Dublin where all the “young” families with their delusions of grandeur want to live in the south east part of Dublin in houses they can barely afford all the while their lives are in chaos with plastic toys strewn everywhere, both working, 2 cars, hand-balling kids, 9 - 5, dinner Seriously, one of the parents needs to stay home and organise their lives.

Then you would probably think our home was a 'mess' because we focus on loving our children and not being shallow, superficial phonies. Substance > optics for me.

Cyrus

Rezident wrote: »

Then you would probably think our home was a 'mess' because we focus on loving our children and not being shallow, superficial phonies. Substance > optics for me.

You can love your children and not have a messy house believe it or not

rosmoke

It's always easier to find excuses or to lower those clean and tidy standards.
Been told my wife suffers from OCD by people so filthy that you couldn't imagine, it's just standards at the end of the day.
Honestly feel bad for kids as they receive a bad education or don't receive any at all with absent parents.

listen i just vacuumed ok

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts

As long as the houses are clean and sanitary, who cares about a bit of mess? It’s just so unimportant. My granny spent her life being a neat freak. Such a waste of time and energy. My sister tidies up around you and snatches the cup out of your hand the second you’ve finished your drink. Visiting her house is not relaxing. What will happen if the cups and plates sit there for a while?

lulu1

The last of my 3 has just went to collage and i long for the weekends when the 3 are home together and the bags shoes and god knows what else laying everywhere

This is what you call a home I dont want a show house

HappyAsLarE

Our gaff would be pretty close to show house level of tidyness with essentially zero clutter on view. Both me and the missus have serious OCD. We are the only people that could live with the other.

buried

OP is Aonghus von Bismarck lite

anewme

It wont be in anyone's obituary or on their headstone.

" Tickers kept an immaculately tidy house"

Once your home is hygienic, the rest is life- a few toys scattered round , a dog on the couch?

Dont sweat the small stuff.

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts

Lillyfae wrote: »

My nearly 3 year old has 2 small boxes of toys, all her colouring stuff and a play kitchen downstairs, plus books on shelves that she can reach both downstairs and in her room. We have a small open plan house so we can't fit any more or it will be chaos, and that doesn't make anyone happy. We cull regularly. She knows that she has to tidy everything up before she goes to bed in the afternoon and at night.

We don't buy her new toys unless it's Christmas or her birthday. She's welcome to walk around a shop with something in her hand but she knows that it doesn't belong to her and she has to put it back where she got it before we leave. Last year on her birthday invitation, I specified to people that if they had age appropriate books/ toys at home already to feel free to regift- after her first birthday we learned our lesson, so much stuff that was immediately dumped or brought to the charity shop, it's so pointless and wasteful.

We have a cleaner 2 hours per week for dusting, hoovering, mopping, cleaning the bathroom- the rest we just keep on top of and it's completely doable but we're lucky, we both work in flexible jobs (me 4 days and him 4.5 days) so she's in the creche 2.5 days and with nana 1 day. The creche and nana's house are exploding with toys AND she has a dog so has more than enough to keep her occupied without filling the house with rubbish. This would make none of us happy, I like cleanliness and order. My boyfriend would be worse than either me or my daughter in terms of clutter :pac:.

Having said all that, I don't judge people who have messy houses but by that token don't think that it has to be that way- my favourite is that Facebook status that stay at home moms always seem to use about their houses being messy because their children are happy, loved and played with. My daughter is too, we just teach her that cleaning up is the end part of the playing.

You are judging here. The “I don’t judge people” disclaimer doesn’t negate what follows.

Leg End Reject

Anyone know where to look for a cleaner? The whole palaver would drive you to drink, but I can't stand mess either.

eviltwin

My house is messy, 3 adults, 1 child and numerous pets will do that. I'm fine with it. We all live busy lives and when we get home we'd rather be doing something besides housework. We catch up with it eventually. I don't know why it bothers the OP, it has no impact on his life.

anewme

Try your local fb page. It's actually v hard to get someone.

anewme

Try your local fb page. It's actually v hard to get someone.

buried

A tidy house is a sign of a person/people akin to the likes of Patrick Bateman or Cameron Frye.
Neither hoor you would really want to be.

Leg End Reject

anewme wrote: »

Try your local fb page. It's actually v hard to get someone.

I'm not on fb, but I'll get someone to look. Life is really too short.

Leg End Reject

Leg End Reject wrote: »

I'm not on fb, but I'll get someone to look. Life is really too short.

i was thinking about that as well but the arranging and do you leave a key and i don't know