Why are most families houses and lives in a mess???

It’s fairly easy to spot those who have their priorities straight in the replies on this thread.

If the kids are safe, healthy and happy with two parents who prioritise those things over keeping things tidied away then judgemental visitors might as well just keep their arsey opinions to themselves.

There’s only so many hours in a day and so few of those in a lifetime to sweat the details. I’d rather an untidy loving home with adventurous, imaginative and energetic kids making a mess with their lego, action figures and mucky football kit than a tidy home with dim-witted little fatties glued to their phones or a games console in the corner of a flatpack showroom.

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts

Cyrus wrote: »

i get that the OP is trolling but we have 2 young kids and our house is pristine 99% of the time. Kids dont have to draw on walls, they dont have to have their bikes inside. All depends on what you want to do. You dont care, thats your own business. My wife and i spent a fortune on the house and like to have it the way WE want it, so the kids respect that, as i remember doing in my parents house when i was a kid.

but everyone is different.

most people want a tidy house, but very few people want to put the effort in to keep it that way, its a constant job.

But isn’t it nice to let them? One wall of our playroom when I was a kid was left unpainted so that we could go to town. I grew up loving drawing and generally being artsy and when we were old enough, the wall was painted. No harm done.

SirChenjin

HappyAsLarE wrote: »

Our gaff would be pretty close to show house level of tidyness with essentially zero clutter on view. Both me and the missus have serious OCD.We are the only people that could live with the other.

That must be a terribly difficult condition to deal with.

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts

NSAman wrote: »

OK cleaning takes time and effort.

I am one of those people who cleans his house to a level most people would think crazy. I have two dogs which add to the problem and many many visitors. Would I be without any of the dogs and visitors? no way... they make life interesting.

It is currently 5am, I am here taking a break from Ironing. When I arrive home after being away for 2 weeks work, the place was a mess. I hovered and washed floors after travelling for 12 hours.

Some people like a spotless home, some don’t. I go to friends homes and the place looks like a bomb exploded in the middle of it. Frankly, it would drive me mad as it does one half of some of the friends (i.e. normally the husband). There is the excuse that “a house is for living in”, of course a house is for living in. That doesn’t mean that me as a visitor wants to see knickers on the floor.

It really comes down to what your parents taught you to do. My Mother and father worked hard. We were taught to clean up after ourselves and have respect for the house as it cost a lot of hard earned money to get. Since a young age we always were taught how to wash, iron, mop and clean properly, our mother made it fun and we were always taught that if you clean up after yourself, it makes life easier... and it is true.

As did many parents, with varying levels of house tidiness. Hard-working parents - not a rarity.

One thing people seem to mix up is mess and cleanliness. A house can be very clean (bathroom and kitchen spotless etc.) but with things strewn around. And I think some people are just too afraid of germs, while we’re on the subject.

Leg End Reject

bluewolf wrote: »

i was thinking about that as well but the arranging and do you leave a key and i don't know

No idea, just got pmed a recommendation so I'll ring tomorrow and see.

Lackey

NSAman wrote: »

There is the excuse that “a house is for living in”, of course a house is for living in. That doesn’t mean that me as a visitor wants to see knickers on the floor.

There's a grand canyon between a few toys/books around the place and knickers on the floor.

someone else called it 'lazy parenting'
Parents prioritising helping with homework, chatting with kids about their day, getting them to/from football, GAA, swimming, scouts that's the opposite of 'lazy parenting'

So much pressure

two parents work all day, but must raise kids right and get 'em cleaning,
But not too much, cause they have hours of homework to get into college while keeping 'em going to various sports
while working to pay for the school, sports, save for college, and that house, check in on elderly parents and Keep your house spotless?
Clean yes,
spotless Fu@k Off

HappyAsLarE

SirChenjin wrote: »

That must be a terribly difficult condition to deal with.

Not at all. I love the order of it. It’s only annoying when other people are around messing things up!

CelticRambler

bluewolf wrote: »

listen i just vacuumed ok

I washed one of the three saucepans I had in the sink earlier (needed it for the dinner); I had to move the other two onto the hob so the chickens could have a bath ...

SirChenjin

HappyAsLarE wrote: »

Not at all. I love the order of it. It’s only annoying when other people are around messing things up!

I never realised how much it actually affects people's lives until I watched a documentary about people who have OCD.
It really opened my eyes about how difficult it can be.

Ghetofarmulous

My house is messy but not dirty. About to buy our first home and that will be the same way. A house can be sorted in a couple of hours. The rest of the time I spend with my family and pursuing my hobbies. I really don’t give a **** how anyone else keeps their house.

Molly007

Gosh this thread brings me back......all those years with school uniforms drying over the cooker and the sink full of dishes and schoolbags and stuff everywhere. Baby's high chair with gunge on the seat, couch with no cushions cos they were being used to make a fort, half-built lego creations all over the floor, cats on the windowsill trying to make eye contact because i hadn't got around to feeding them, etc etc etc.
And now it's all over and the kids are gone and the house is relatively clean and tidy and the current cat is fed. Where have the years gone

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts

SirChenjin wrote: »

I never realised how much it actually affects people's lives until I watched a documentary about people who have OCD.
It really opened my eyes about how difficult it can be.

Neat freaks generally don’t have OCD though. OCD is such a debilitating condition that I struggle not to roll my eyes when people say they have it simply because they like their house spotless.

I can’t tell if HappyAsLarE genuinely has it though. He might do.

Raconteuse

I cannot bear clutter and disorganisation. Thankfully it's not OCD level where e.g. a mug left on the coffee table or pair of shoes left sitting by the sofa would freak me out, but I need to have most things in their right place, neat, organised, and I'm not one for excessive bits and bobs.

But when I'm at my folks' place, the grandchildren (compounded by the dog and the kitten) will trash the place, and while I'd really love a way to keep the place tidy while they're there :pac: it's obviously not possible, so I just make myself relax and enjoy the fun. And the main thing is they're having a blast. I have it all tidied in minutes when they're gone. It's only a few years before they're old enough to tidy up after themselves anyway.

Some spiteful as ever comments here. Huge naivety regarding young children too.

Hal3000

To any parents reading this and looking around their cluttered house. Don’t just throw stuff out, consider giving it to a charity shop or free on adverts.ie

Gregor Samsa

D3V!L wrote: »

If my wife could teach her sadly departed boarder-collie to tidy up her dollies then why cant parents do the same with their kids. Its not very hard at all.

I’ve heard of the saying “you can’t teach an old dog new tricks”, but to be able to teach a dead dog to tidy up is pretty damn spectacular!

v638sg7k1a92bx

anewme wrote: »

Very unfair.

Lazy is not the term I'd use to describe people who work as Nurses. They do a difficult and challenging job, which I'd be no way able for.

If they want to socialise out of hours, more power to them. If they want to have a cleaner to allow them more down time, then again that's their choice.

Because cleaning is not their priority for their time off, that's their perrogative.

Stop. Don’t get me started on nurses. Why is it that anytime a nurse is mentioned someone piped in about what a hard job they have and it’s end of conversation. Give me a break. There is a minimum standard of decorum regardless of occupation. Do nurses get a pass on brushing their teeth because they have a difficult job???

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts

Gunnar Shrilling Saint wrote: »

Stop. Don’t get me started on nurses. Why is it that anytime a nurse is mentioned someone piped in about what a hard job they have and it’s end of conversation. Give me a break. There is a minimum standard of decorum regardless of occupation. Do nurses get a pass on brushing their teeth because they have a difficult job???

What standards of decorum did they not meet? It’s unclear. Did they socialise too much? Not spend enough time cleaning? It’s hard to tell what you came away from your curtain-twitching session more incensed by.

SirChenjin

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts wrote: »

Neat freaks generally don’t have OCD though.OCD is such a debilitating condition that I struggle not to roll my eyes when people say they have it simply because they like their house spotless.

I can’t tell if HappyAsLarE genuinely has it though. He might do.

Yes, I'm well aware of that.

It's also important to note that it does not always manifest in excessive cleanliness or tidiness. It can, in fact, sometimes result in the completely opposite effect.

If that poster is actually diagnosed with OCD, it would be an interesting AMA, if they were happy to do it, and would help to raise awareness of how difficult it can make someone's life.
I genuinely had no idea until I watched a documentary some years ago, and did some reading on it since then. It can limit someone's life so much.

anewme

Gunnar Shrilling Saint wrote: »

anewme wrote: »

Very unfair.

Lazy is not the term I'd use to describe people who work as Nurses. They do a difficult and challenging job, which I'd be no way able for.

If they want to socialise out of hours, more power to them. If they want to have a cleaner to allow them more down time, then again that's their choice.

Because cleaning is not their priority for their time off, that's their perrogative.

Stop. Don’t get me started on nurses. Why is it that anytime a nurse is mentioned someone piped in about what a hard job they have and it’s end of conversation. Give me a break. There is a minimum standard of decorum regardless of occupation. Do nurses get a pass on brushing their teeth because they have a difficult job???

They are not getting a pass on anything.

They work hard and do an essential job.

I've a family member in care and the nurses are amazing.

Anyone who works a full time job and wants to have a cleaner so they can enjoy their weekend is not "lazy. In my eyes, they have their priorities right.

Decorum, me hole.

But it's really everyones own decision, isn't it.?

Raconteuse

Gunnar Shrilling Saint wrote: »

Stop. Don’t get me started on nurses. Why is it that anytime a nurse is mentioned someone piped in about what a hard job they have and it’s end of conversation. Give me a break. There is a minimum standard of decorum regardless of occupation. Do nurses get a pass on brushing their teeth because they have a difficult job???

Why do people use multiple question marks? One is sufficient.

Nobody even implied that anyone gets a pass on brushing their teeth if they're able to. Avoidable bad breath is bad manners.

Any time a nurse is mentioned? No, any time the idiotic claim that nurses are lazy is made.

What difference does it make to someone who doesn't live there if a house is untidy?

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts

SirChenjin wrote: »

Yes, I'm well aware of that.

It's also important to note that it does not always manifest in excessive cleanliness or tidiness. It can, in fact, sometimes result in the completely opposite effect.

If that poster is actually diagnosed with OCD, it would be an interesting AMA, if they were happy to do it, and would help to raise awareness of how difficult it can make someone's life.
I genuinely had no idea until I watched a documentary some years ago, and did some reading on it since then. It can limit someone's life so much.

Yeah, I know. That’s why I said it annoys me when people think they have OCD simply because they are overly preoccupied with tidiness.

v638sg7k1a92bx

eviltwin wrote: »

My house is messy, 3 adults, 1 child and numerous pets will do that. I'm fine with it. We all live busy lives and when we get home we'd rather be doing something besides housework. We catch up with it eventually. I don't know why it bothers the OP, it has no impact on his life.

3 adults, 1 child, numerous pets and a messy house!!! Do you think that’s conducive environment to be raising a child? I think you need to reassess you life choices, sounds like you made some poor decisions along the way.

SirChenjin

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts wrote: »

Yeah, I know. That’s why I said it annoys me when people think they have OCD simply because they are overly preoccupied with tidiness.

Yeah. Same here.

v638sg7k1a92bx

SirChenjin wrote: »

Yeah. Same here.

There’s several behavioural patterns evident from the responses on this thread:

1. Most young families lives are chaotic
2. Their kids have too many toys
3. Ikea boxes are the modern day equivalent of literally sweeping dirt under the carpet
4. There are too many defensive parents refusing to accept the unhealthy environment they’ve created for themselves and for their children

JupiterKid

I really think the OP is trolling. They seem to be more concerned with attacking other posters who don’t have a sterile show house and looking for reactions so they can attack further and feel good about their highly critical and judgemental attitude to others.

Living life and especially having children and pets will lead to messiness in a given home, and that’s just the way it is. Perhaps the OP would be less quick to pass judgement on others if they had more important things to be doing?

v638sg7k1a92bx

JupiterKid wrote: »

I really think the OP is trolling. They seem to be more concerned with attacking other posters who don’t have a sterile show house and looking for reactions so they can attack further and feel good about their judge mental attitude to others.

Living life and especially having children and pets will lead to messiness in a given home, and that’s just the way it is. Perhaps the OP would be less quick to pass judgement on others if they had more important things to be doing?

Nobody is talking about sterile other than posters making excuses for why their houses are untidy. I’m talking about family homes with young children that have accumulated too much clutter and mountains of unwashed clothes.

Why do Irish parents think that having children and maintaining a household is so different than it was twenty years ago?

Gregor Samsa

Gunnar Shrilling Saint wrote: »

3 adults, 1 child, numerous pets and a messy house!!! Do you think that’s conducive environment to be raising a child? I think you need to reassess you life choices, sounds like you made some poor decisions along the way.

Just to be clear, I kept my 3 children in a very sparse attic, well away from the mess downstairs. They will grow up fine, unlike children who grow up amongst clutter (once they get used to sunlight, of course).

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts

Gunnar Shrilling Saint wrote: »

There’s several behavioural patterns evident from the responses on this thread:

1. Most young families lives are chaotic
2. Their kids have too many toys
3. Ikea boxes are the modern day equivalent of literally sweeping dirt under the carpet
4. There are too many defensive parents refusing to accept the unhealthy environment they’ve created for themselves and for their children

Oh, I’m not a parent. A mixture of education in a field related to cleanliness, life circumstances and my upbringing make me unconcerned about a little bit of messiness. It is such a non-issue. If you have space in your brain to concern yourself with the messiness of the houses of others, you don’t know you’re alive.

Raconteuse

Gregor Samsa wrote: »

Just to be clear, I kept my 3 children in a very sparse attic, well away from the mess downstairs. They will grow up fine, unlike children who grow up amongst clutter (once they get used to sunlight, of course).

Cages are good I find.

Lillyfae

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts wrote: »

You are judging here. The “I don’t judge people” disclaimer doesn’t negate what follows.

Sorry, point that out please? I don't like it being insinuated by people who don't prioritise tidiness that I love, care for or play with my child any less because we clean up afterwards? Who the f*ck would and how does that somehow translate to me being judgemental?