Why are most families houses and lives in a mess???

Viscount Aggro

Most people are fcukwits when it comes to money or self responsibility.

Wayne Jarvis

Guy Person wrote: »

Leg End Reject I am going to log off now and think of your pink bits for a while.

I'm finished now. Thanks Leggy!

Leg End Reject

Looks like I'm not the only one who needs a cleaner.

Mam of 4

Leg End Reject wrote: »

Looks like I'm not the only one who needs a cleaner.

That needs a cleaner with a Hazmat Suit on .

Leg End Reject

Mam of 4 wrote: »

That needs a cleaner with a Hazmat Suit on .

And he was worried about the mess I'd make after being shot. :P

Wayne Jarvis

Leg End Reject wrote: »

And he was worried about the mess I'd make after being shot. :P

Spare a thought for the woman I hired to clean up after me :eek:

Wayne Jarvis

Leg End Reject wrote: »

Looks like I'm not the only one who needs a cleaner.

Also this right here is why you are one of my favourite posters, because you are really funny and can take a joke too.

Leg End Reject

Guy Person wrote: »

Also this right here is why you are one of my favourite posters, because you are really funny and can take a joke too.

And all with my little woman brain.


And pink bits.

dublinman1990

The OP must not bother to watch the Toy Show in the lead up to Christmas every year if it's that bothered about anyone else's business who have kids in their own homes. Hypothetically; who is the hypocrite here. Him or us?

Graces7

Any thoughts on why when a reasonably tidy person has let it lapse one day an unexpected visitor arrives... shamed!

Sam Quentin

The missus can only do so much when I'm out cycling in me lycra.

italodisco

italodisco wrote: »

My wife buys toys non stop for the kid, house if strewn with toys.

NIMAN wrote: »

Plus many get toys bought to them all year round, not just Xmas and birthdays. I'd agree people have too much stuff. Far too much.

I can understand the desire to get kids lots of toys. There is a real buzz and excitement when they get a new one. And you share in that with them. But once the initial buzz passes I find most toys do not hold their attention long. So you go for the next buzz and the next. And ultimately it is self defeating. But you still find yourself _wanting_ it all the same. If there is something they clearly love - you want to see their face when they get to hold a manifestation of it in their hand.

Worse I find that with more genetic toys my children develop deep imagination games with them. Using lego for example they used to put some colors together and imagine these nebulous lumps of lego were characters from Peppa Pig. And they seemed to really "see" them as such.

So of course someone bought them actual plastic Peppa Pig characters. A box with about 10 little plastic painted characters in a row. They played with them about 2 days and lost interest. Not just in those toys - but in the entire enterprise of imagining peppa pig in lego at all too. It simply killed off their interest and imagination there and all their interest in Peppa in their play. It was really sad.

So now I tend to focus on "less is more" when it comes to toys and I always aim for things - like lego but other things too - that they can make to fit their imagination. I avoid like the plague all toys that manifest that form for them - meaning their imagination and minds do not have to. And they seem happier and more engaged for it. And more imaginative and creative. They did this wonderful thing using toys called "Offbits" and another thing we have called "Snap Circuits" where they developed an electromagnet than when it was turned on it literally threw the offbits a couple of meters. Took them ages to invent a circuit that worked - but the kick they got out of it was hard to compare.

The other benefit of "less is more" is that they care for their toys better. Because if something gets broken - then that is a significant loss for them. Whereas kids I have seen with 100s of toys - if something gets broken it's just "meh" for them and they are flinging toys around like they care nothing for their value at all.

And of course it does not just make for happier kids - it makes for a tidier and easier to tidy house too.

Forty Seven wrote: »

Keeping the house in order is easy with these little rules.

Rules are useful for sure. But I find incentives better than rules. For example the kids know I spend most of my quality time with them at the weekend. They also know that I clean up the house at the weekend. So I have made it clear to them that the longer I have to spend cleaning the house at the weekend - that eats into my time with them.

So I do not need to make rules for them to clean. They do it automatically. They have worked out - the more tidying after themselves they do over the course of the week - the more wonderful their weekend with me will be.

But when I am cleaning I also try to keep them involved. And I try to make it fun too. But some music on - make a song and dance session out of it - I do my best to make chores part of play rather than just chores. Just the other day there was a load of socks and underwear that needed moving from the wasching machine to the bedroom for example.

So slapped on the up beat music and we formed a human chain through the house and we made a throw and catch game out of it. I would throw them from the dryer out the door to the kid waiting in the corridor. They would throw them to the next one at the end of the stairs. Up to one of the mammies at the top of the stairs. And so on into the individual bedrooms. We had a serious giggle out of it.

Sure I have an advantage most people do not have when dealing with kids and chores - so it is easy for me to say that incentives are easy to build and chores can be made into a game. Have to check my privilege and all that. But I think many people generally could do at least a bit of that if they put their mind imagination and motivation to it.

riffmongous wrote: »

Tidiness is overrated. It's a waste of energy in a futile attempt to fight entropy, to produce bland, sterile environments for the sake of satisfying some control freak impulse.

I find there is a happy medium. I would not want to live in a bland sterile environment. But I also would not like to live in mess and chaos either.

To give one of many examples from my house - there was a user in the thread earlier who was shocked kids are allowed scribble on the walls in one house. Actually they are allowed do it in my house too. In certain designated areas. We have areas of the house where the wall is painted white - or painted with metalic paint so magnets work with it. And these areas are alive with the scribbles and chaos from the minds of my kids.

Periodically - especially if we are going away for a few days to stay with the grandparents or whatever - I will slap a layer of paint over them to "reset" them and they can start again. But I find it brings both order and life to our house to have designated controlled areas of chaos and colour for all to enjoy.

v638sg7k1a92bx

shesty wrote: »

I get more concerned by houses where there are people with no kids and its untidy and/or unhygienically dirty (bathrooms, kitchens etc).

You clearly have zero clue what it is like to have kids and a house and work.Or even have kids and not work.My house is dirtier the days I am home all day with the kids.I do washing with a toddler wrapped around my leg,who will maybe tolerate me hanging some clothes out and filling the machine...once.Certainly he won't hang around while I fold/distribute/iron/hang out more clothes. There are crumbs all over the kitchen floor from their eating, three meals a day -no matter how often I sweep it.Lucky to get dishes washed between feeding/cleaning hands/dealing with rows/rescuing said toddler from whatever dilemma he finds himself in etc.Toys on the floor where they are playing...no point picking the up til after bedtime because my entire day could be spent picking up toys which is impossible because of having to do the stuff mentioned above.And that's just a fraction of it.

Kids make their presence felt because they demand your time and attention unequivocally and they do not care what else you might have to do.But you don't understand that until you have them.You should probably stop trying, judge your friends and one day if you have kids yourself, you might get it then.

The people who are most offended on this thread are obviously the ones with the dirty houses and in an attempt to justify their unorganised lives they post their daily itinerary as if this is something new that we haven't seen before.

Then we have everyone so upset at being "judged" of how dare you judge me. What else are we supposed to do, as individuals and a society we make judgements all the time. If you're so offended at being judged then go and tidy your house.

facehugger99

I think a lot of the general messiness in people's houses today is because both parents will likely be working.

I do have sympathy for women who've done a full days' work in the office having to get out the hoover and iron and prepare dinner when they get home.

TBH I think it's up to men to cut women a bit of slack in this regard. So what if it's Saturday or Sunday before your shirt gets ironed or if the house is a bit messy? It's no biggie.

Life is stressful enough without adding to it

Bawnmore

anewme wrote: »

Jaysus, I havent cleaned out under the sink in the 12 years I've lived in this house. Might be all sorts of treasures in there.

And spiders.

No, it can wait another 12 years so.

Every time I need something from under the sink it's risky business. Take out the wrong bottle of bleach at the wrong time and the whole house of cards comes tumbling down. Like real life Jenga with dire consequences.

Ifevera wiztherewas

facehugger99 wrote:

I do have sympathy for women who've done a full days' work in the office having to get out the hoover and iron and prepare dinner when they get home.

What about the men that do this?

nkl12xtw5goz70

facehugger99 wrote: »

TBH I think it's up to men to cut women a bit of slack in this regard. So what if it's Saturday or Sunday before your shirt gets ironed or if the house is a bit messy? It's no biggie.

I'd hope that the majority of men under 50 are not depending on their wives or girlfriends to iron their shirts.

We normally do one big cleaning & tidy-up on a weekend and that's it for the week.

NSAman

GwaneTIme wrote: »

Because women are lazy nowadays? I see that on my sister. I have to get back from home and clean the house because she's sitting all day on the phone and scroll social media platforms

You forgot the coffee mornings and “brunch” and lunch. All you have to do is go to any cafe in daytime, see how many women v’s men are there.

Alun

Thiago Cold Gazebo wrote: »

I'd hope that the majority of men under 50 are not depending on their wives or girlfriends to iron their shirts.

My wife does all the ironing which I hate and am dreadful at, I do all the cooking, which she hates, and is dreadful at. What's wrong with that?

nkl12xtw5goz70

Alun wrote: »

My wife does all the ironing which I hate and am dreadful at, I do all the cooking, which she hates, and is dreadful at. What's wrong with that?

There's nothing wrong with diving up chores according to your preferences, as long as you're still sharing the work. We do the same.

Gregor Samsa

NSAman wrote: »

You forgot the coffee mornings and “brunch” and lunch. All you have to do is go to any cafe in daytime, see how many women v’s men are there.

Also, go to any pub in the daytime and see how many women vs men there are.

Raconteuse

Only a matter of time before the bitching about women. How on earth does one guy's sister or coffee mornings/brunch/lunch mean women are lazier?

By that logic, one woman's lazy brother and pints with the lads/golf/watching matches mean men are lazier.

And why just women? Becoming lazier is surely not confined to one sex.

seamus

It's probably because there are more important things in life than having a house that's immaculately tidy and pleasing to the eye of cleanfreak judgey judgerson there.

If you're concerned about the tidiness of someone else's home, then you're the one with the problem tbh.

ceadaoin.

Thiago Cold Gazebo wrote: »

I'd hope that the majority of men under 50 are not depending on their wives or girlfriends to iron their shirts.

No way am I spending hours ironing anything at all, let alone shirts. I dont even work and still think life's to short for that nonsense! A quick steam if something needs it is all I stretch too. I'm one of these lazy women I guess. My husband also can't be arsed though so sends all his shirts to the dry cleaners every week.

cj maxx

ceadaoin. wrote: »

No way am I spending hours ironing anything at all, let alone shirts. I dont even work and still think life's to short for that nonsense! A quick steam if something needs it is all I stretch too. I'm one of these lazy women I guess. My husband also can't be arsed though so sends all his shirts to the dry cleaners every week.

Good system

nkl12xtw5goz70

ceadaoin. wrote: »

No way am I spending hours ironing anything at all, let alone shirts. I dont even work and still think life's to short for that nonsense! A quick steam if something needs it is all I stretch too. I'm one of these lazy women I guess. My husband also can't be arsed though so sends all his shirts to the dry cleaners every week.

Wrinkle-free shirts can save a lot of hassle! A quick steam and they look great.

irishguitarlad

Lot's of Jordan Peterson clean your room fanboys on here.

cj maxx

ceadaoin. wrote: »

No way am I spending hours ironing anything at all, let alone shirts. I dont even work and still think life's to short for that nonsense! A quick steam if something needs it is all I stretch too. I'm one of these lazy women I guess. My husband also can't be arsed though so sends all his shirts to the dry cleaners every week.

My 'wife' is the opposite. She keeps moaning about the ironing . Every week end when she's here she puts on a big wash, irons all the clothes and acts like a pure martyr . Poor her ! working all week and having to do all the ironing . Only thing is she irons socks, kacks, teatowels, towels. Effin nutjobwho uses ironing as self therapy .
I can wash the kids , the clothes , iron the few things that need to be. 10 mins ironing tops. School uniforms dont need ironing.
And still I " don't work".
Role reversal of a chauvinistic pig . Be it man or woman.
Rant over , proceed:)

v638sg7k1a92bx

facehugger99 wrote: »

I think a lot of the general messiness in people's houses today is because both parents will likely be working.

I do have sympathy for women who've done a full days' work in the office having to get out the hoover and iron and prepare dinner when they get home.

TBH I think it's up to men to cut women a bit of slack in this regard. So what if it's Saturday or Sunday before your shirt gets ironed or if the house is a bit messy? It's no biggie.

Life is stressful enough without adding to it

Actually a messy house is more likely to cause stress than a tidy house.

v638sg7k1a92bx

irishguitarlad wrote: »

Lot's of Jordan Peterson clean your room fanboys on here.

That concept has been around long before Jordan Peterson, just happens that your wokeness coincided with the rise YouTube.